Phase, yeah I have to agree the art wasn't quite as "clean" and look rushed in the composition a bit. The pages are also REALLY BIG, which draws attention to all the pencil shadows that you didn't clean up. A few of the panels just seemed child-like. like the 5th panel on the second page. I understand and enjoy your style but this panel just looks like you threw anatomy out the window. I would also encourage you to put more effort into your backgrounds. I think detailed backgrounds that you just color all pink would be awesome and help understand where the action is happening.
Storywise it was pretty easy to follow, but I stil lam wonder who shot him with the sceptor and why... Or why he even walked into the antique store.
Buer vs. Aesimi & Beethoven
Critiques & Comments
# 8
Posted:
Nov 29 2009, 10:30 AM
# 7
Posted:
Nov 24 2009, 08:12 AM
Phaseout: I will second Willy D, your other battles have a much more polished look that this one. I was constantly distracted by the poor scanning and artifacts all over the image. I actually liked the story quite a bit, but also was confused at the talking non-talking but I'm just guessing Buer is all about silence and body language...Overall this just needed more polish. the bones and muscle are there but it just feels rushed and unfinished.
Pelica - Solid drawing..the pages were super tiny though...the pacing and flow of the work was decent although confusing or just janky in some transitions like from page 3 to 4 the abrupt photoshoppy rawing was not only unreadable but I think too different to justify its use. The story was okay, and some of the earlier jokes were pretty funny but the entire story seemed to meander without a particular direction and just fell flat in the end. I'd work on tightening up your joke to actual story telling ratio...
Pelica - Solid drawing..the pages were super tiny though...the pacing and flow of the work was decent although confusing or just janky in some transitions like from page 3 to 4 the abrupt photoshoppy rawing was not only unreadable but I think too different to justify its use. The story was okay, and some of the earlier jokes were pretty funny but the entire story seemed to meander without a particular direction and just fell flat in the end. I'd work on tightening up your joke to actual story telling ratio...
# 6
Posted:
Nov 23 2009, 10:58 AM
What is going the hell on, now?
# 5
Posted:
Nov 22 2009, 07:38 PM
phaseout, I have to admit I'm somewhat disappointed with this entry because I feel like I've seen you do better in prior entries and clarity became an issue for me here. At first I thought this was an attempt at a silent comic but when Aesimi and Beethoven were the only speaking roles, I felt more confused. While the cameo is interesting with p2 (and the minotaur chick whose name I will always forget) I feel they have too much screen time to be justified. On the bottom of the first page...I want to say...flashback? But I find it too confusing to be certain. Better luck next time. I suggest some more time on texture or shading, you've proven before that you're quick but maybe you should slow down a bit.
Now I always enjoy a good Aesimi and Beethoven story, you've got great storytelling skills, but this one, maybe not so much, but not bad either. While I like using blur and such, I feel there's too much photoshop going on here. The nightmarish sequence could have used a little bit more detail to be more effective in my opinion (the one where Aesimi suggests cake....mmm cake....). But I really like the way the story ends and I want to see where it leads.
Now I always enjoy a good Aesimi and Beethoven story, you've got great storytelling skills, but this one, maybe not so much, but not bad either. While I like using blur and such, I feel there's too much photoshop going on here. The nightmarish sequence could have used a little bit more detail to be more effective in my opinion (the one where Aesimi suggests cake....mmm cake....). But I really like the way the story ends and I want to see where it leads.
# 4
Posted:
Oct 31 2009, 08:25 PM
Interesting.
# 3
Posted:
Oct 30 2009, 07:45 PM
I'm ready. This looks good.
Missed you Phaseout.
Missed you Phaseout.
# 2
Posted:
Oct 25 2009, 02:45 PM
Good luck guys! I want to see this battle!
# 1
Posted:
Oct 17 2009, 11:15 PM
Wow - this is a curious match-up Good luck the both of you!
Regular Match
Drawing Time:
4 weeks + 1
Ended:
Nov 29th, 2009
Votes Cast:
16
Page Views:
2269
Winner:
Pelz
einsam
Colbitzer
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Birthright
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The Great Switcheroo
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The Great Switcheroo
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Story wise, it was cute, but it did seem to meander a bit. It seemed like a 3 page gag that went on too long and my attention wawndered a bit. I don't really get what happened in the end either.