2016 Invitational: Round 1 / Rorrin Bailey vs. Carter

2016 Invitational: Round 1 — Rorrin Bailey vs. Carter

by KMart

This comic has not been rated; viewer discretion advised.

Icon for Rorrin Bailey61.3%
695 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7

Crit level: No preference


by Spectre

This comic has not been rated; viewer discretion advised.

Icon for Carter38.7%
438 points
Page 1Page 2

Crit level: No preference




Critiques & Comments
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Ish
Artist
79 comments
# 11   Posted: Jul 4 2016, 07:22 PM
@KMart - Nothing can I say that hasn't been said before, but hey! It was a pretty solid work! I really like Rorrin, she is such a sweetipie! And I really friend!ship her and Carter now!

@ofthegoodnight - Bummer it wasn't finished, but kudos for still submitting it! I liked where this was going, hope we see what you can really do in your next comic!

Futreblot
Artist
91 comments
# 10   Posted: Jul 3 2016, 06:03 AM
So being confident in the pacing side of things and the dialogue side of things I tend to keep my critiques in those areas.

@KMart: not going to re-hash what others have already said. I think it's awesome you were able to make it with 5+ pages. I did 8 and it was intense! D: Your dialogue is really great, it compliments your visuals really well. though sometimes it feels forced or even redundant. the last panel of page one in particular drew me out of the story for a second. I find speaking my dialogue out to myself helps me find a more natural tone.

@ofthegoodnight: Life stuff can be a real pain sometimes, but you got two pages out regardless. I hope to see what you can do with a completed comic!

Flutterbyes
Artist
299 comments
# 9   Posted: Jul 1 2016, 02:57 PM
Kmart: HMM, I don't know if the tones are working. I can't get them to work in an attractive way for me, either, without having them moiré all over the place. They're definitely overpowering your lines and characters, and when they're in both characters and backgrounds it just makes things kind of blend together because there's not enough difference in intensity and the lines separating everything are too thin. Even the panel borders could be heavier. You might want to squint at your work occasionally. It looks like you're still working through the best way to use what Clip Studio Paint has to offer, from the drawing tools to the effects, and Void is a good place to test those things out.

ofthegoodnight: Too bad we didn't get to see where this story was headed! The lines are clear enough that you could probably have messed with the levels a little after scanning to help the presentation, as others have said.

mortooncian
Artist
111 comments
# 8   Posted: Jul 1 2016, 10:27 AM
Kmart: I liked your story, it was cute and simple, but the screentones are (as others have noted) pretty distracting! Another thing is that your lineart feels a bit rushed in a lot of cases, but that's something Void will really help with.

OfTheGoodNight: It's a shame you couldn't finish! D: Just try to figure out a good workflow for next time!

Rainbow Ichi
Artist
18 comments
# 7   Posted: Jun 30 2016, 07:07 AM
KMart:
- dots.....all over...try making them...smaller? in manga studio i use around 55 to 60-ish (whatever that means) smaller dots then big dots.
-the story's nice
- linework for me sometimes i like sometimes I don't like :(

ofthegoodnight:

-wish you could have finished it the direction it started did look interesteing.
-keep practicing!
-darken the lines at least with a software if you're using pencil please :)

MaxieWest
Artist
34 comments
# 6   Posted: Jun 29 2016, 08:50 PM
@KMart; You got a lot done this round! Unfortunately your screen tones distract from your art rather than enhance it, look up some tutorials and look at other work to see how to improve them. Storywise I'm not sure if I'm a fan of the randomness of the robber as well as the fact that his design catches your eyes a lot easier than your opponents character and your own. Your style feels very light and whispy, (and thats not a bad thing) but contrasted against the robber it just had this weird dissonance for me that flung me out of the story. All that being said you really worked well with showcasing the characters personalities.

@ofthegoodnight; I'm sorry that you weren't able to get a lot done this time around but I'm glad you were able to submit at least something. What you do have seems cute and I can't wait to see what you do next.

Rose
Web Dev
1180 comments
# 5   Posted: Jun 29 2016, 03:27 PM
@KMart: I like how well you expressed each character's personality in your comic! I mean, the Rappin' Robber was a bit random, but the two main characters were really well defined! The art was a little rough and inconsistent, and I'm not a huge fan of the dot shading you used, but just keep practicing and those will naturally improve! I can't wait to see more from you! :)

@ofthegoodnight: I hope you're able to finish your comic next time! You had a decent start, but I can't really comment beyond that since it's incomplete. If you need help with time management or staying motivated, there are plenty of us who would be happy to help out!

Stormcrow
Artist
68 comments
# 4   Posted: Jun 28 2016, 05:49 PM
Aw, what a cute matchup! Let's see here...

@KMart:
Rorrin is adorable, I love her already, and agreed that we could REALLY USE A HEALER XD
In terms of art, I agree completely with Shen re: the use of tones. You definitely have more of an anime style and it looks like you're using a program that really facilitates the use of screentones, and I think they can definitely be done well, but the problem here is just a small thing about HOW you're using them-- instead of using BIGGER dots to indicate a darker tone, just use denser dots! I think that was the main problem I had; if the dots themselves are too big, they start reading as objects rather than visually blurring together to properly represent a shade of gray. It's a pretty easy fix, so I think if you just adjust that for your next battle, it'll make everything a lot cleaner visually! Another thing I'd love to see from you is some dynamic panelling. It looks like you're plenty fine with action, so you could really have more opportunities to show it with panels that aren't always squares or rectangles! It might be fun to play around with that for your next fight!
Also, I love your villain. Holy shit XD

@ofthegoodnight
Ah damn, I'm sorry you didn't get a chance to finish, that's a shame! Still, thank you for turning in what you had rather than defaulting, it's always best to submit the pages. Wish we could have seen where this was gonna go, but I know that a first time comic is intimidating to begin with and when life gets in the way it can really throw you off. Better luck next time, man!

Animeshen
Artist
1490 comments
# 3   Posted: Jun 28 2016, 05:25 PM
Kmart! cute story, pretty standard but still fun! i worry carter didnt get enough of a chance to be himself here, it might have been a bit better if he'd had more of a go against your admittedly colourful villain before getting stabbinated. but Rorrin is cute as buttons and we could probably use a legit healer on this website XD art wise, the tones can be a little much, and theres places you probably just could have painted it black instead like with carter's blood, more black would make nicer contrast. right now all the tones makes things kind of muddled, you'll wanna be more selective in where you put them (i aint read all the comics yet but i know Flutterbyes used tones in hers and did very well so maybe a bit more like that). Great first comic!

ofthegoodnight, sorry you couldnt quite finish, this looks like it was off to a pretty cute start! theres not really enough to critique right now.... i hope your next battle goes better!

Spectre
Artist
3 comments
# 2   Posted: Jun 27 2016, 06:39 PM
Okay. I've uploaded my two pages, it's an utter mess, and I'm sorry. I had life throwing things at me all week and it really downed my mood for drawing. I'll try to do better in future battles.

Julz
Artist
411 comments
# 1   Posted: Jun 22 2016, 04:23 PM
Goodluck and have fun! I look forward to reviewing and judging.

Comic Details -

 
Tournament Match
Drawing Time: 1 week
Ended: Jul 4th, 2016
Votes Cast: 41
Page Views: 1825
Winner: KMart
 

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