Thanks Jared - I agree with you on both areas of issue.

no prob, guys! glad to see you guys doin' work!

scarn, some of the things that stood out to me were like when your character busts through the wall first, the figure in the foreground looks like he's standing on a hill or a platform we can't see or maybe just a story tall. essentially even if he's generally taller than the others, he should be around the same head height as the other people fleeing in the midground. conversely, when your character's chucking that car later on, he looks as though he's standing in a ditch below the sidewalk. but mainly grounding issues. think of the characters as if they were buildings or structures in the scenery, they should fit in the same way. just keep practicing!

I actually didn't like those wings also.... I didn't really notice until i was completely done...and i was to lazy to fix it 8p
But the main reason i created Casimir is to get my practice on with Wing, and a Woman's anatomy.
I'm not perfect, but I'm working on it. I really appreciate you pointing it out, homie

Baiz- I think her wings in the first panel of page 4 bug me the most. By NO MEANS do you have to draw every feather XD That's no fun, especially for speedy comic battles. You understand the fuzzy feathers and the flight feathers and you can draw them well. My problem is with the structure. I have my own winged characters and I've taken a lot of advice from this-> http://Nambroth.deviantart.com/art/Realistic-Bird-Wings-96309379 <- tutorial. All I see is that you need to treat the wings like arms with feathers by paying attention to bone structure (wings have shoulders! Neat!), and they just need to be fuller and larger. WHY DO MY COMMENTS ALWAYS END UP A MILE LONG?! But anyway, wings are FUUUUN.

Jared! Thank's for the crit man! I actually had done that background first/characters second, deal... :| Any specific panels/pages that you thought were worst cases?

Jared Lewis  - i agree on  the Balloon thing. I've noticed that my font is just usually big, so i'm still trying to find a way to work with that. (BG ect.) I'm trying to get more practice on my speed without it looking rushed. i think it's more because i don't have my own system yet. I loved you advice about drawing the BG first and then incorporating the characters afterward. so I'm gonna just get more practice in

hardpourcorn - You might be right with my Wing anatomy, but I'm using references for my ideas. And I've actually been getting more complements than complaints about them so far. But i do take into consideration that i don't illustrate every feather, and her bone joins to her back is still not revealed yet. But I'm still working on the kinks. Let me know which page you didn't like and i'll trying to get better.  Aight Stickler? lol

I don't have the attention span for a full critique, but good show you two.
Baiz- Fun details and intricacy
Scarn- Great progression of action
BOTH OF YOU! Maybe it's just me being a stickler about this stuff but WING ANATOMY! GYAH!

first of all, the only stipulation is drawing the character at least once. in which case, scarn's meets the requirements. and they don't have to 'battle' in the battle itself.
but that all having been said, the result of this is one of the chief issues with doing a battle split over two parts. allotting both character in a beginning, middle, & end into another immediate beginning, middle, & end. and it wasn't until comments i saw that the two were supposed to be one continuous story that i managed to read in reverse (give some sort of heads up! the text page wouldn't be necessary if there was like a 'read scarn's first' notice or something somewhere on the page if that's what you're doing).

baiz, not a bad piece of work but everything that's not the characters (bg's, bg characters, etc) is all super generic. give things some more variation, make the world where these stories are happening a bit more dimensional. and while there were a few inconsistencies with the anatomy, it's nothing a bit more practice won't help. also, rethink the size of your word balloons. the text & therefore the balloons feel ginormous & are covering up a lot of space where we could be seeing more.

scarn, the detail was very nice but the pencil shading with the solid digital text didn't quite work for me at parts. also in the scenes where you had backgrounds, the characters seems a bit unattached. lately, the new thing i've been trying is drawing the bg first & then incorporate the character as if they're part of it, rather than character first & the bg acting as some sort of dressing behind them. it really seems to help me get a better feel for how things should work perspective wise & just how things should all fit together. and another thing with digital text, try to keep it as consistent & possible. a couple of times, the size seemed to change. it's fine for emphasis or those kinds of effects but if two balloons next to each other are at the same relative volume & they're different sizes, it can look a bit choppy.

lol, well to each his own, right.

Lol, and here I'm thinking of getting more into the cartoony style. XD

Yea just to let people know that our story was plotted it out. I didn't even care to much about Chris illustrating my character, but i appreciate his initiative he took in  doing so.

Chris JB,  you've really inspired me to work on my lines a lot more. I'm trying to get away from this cartoony style.

Mrnoitaull - I really glad you liked the detail and panelling, as I pulled away from inks and colours so I could focus on improving those exact two aspects! Good to know the effort wasn't wasted. Casimir's page - was an unfortunate blunder on my part - as when we were figuring out the plot for our battles, I was looking at the story as a whole - forgetting that Casimir needed to appear in my half of the story until only about two weeks before the deadline, so I did just make some quick edits. It may not have been so much of a problem had this been an artist battle. Thanks!

Thanks (Mister Kent) for your comment,
Thanks  (kirei-kuro) for your awesome critic, i'll try and get better.
Thans (Chris JB) for that defense on Dr. Shroom pre-vision. And your right about it just being and idea of his image before his accident.
Thanks (Mrnotaull) for your Critiqe as well. I'm always working on getting better.

Anthony-Really dug the story buildup and the b/w is not a bad approach. I able to read the sequence well. some of the action apots could have been a just a but more "in contact" on Cas's behalf and not so post-strike movement.

Scarn-Really good detail and panel layout. I agree with Kuro, Cas almost seemingly cameo appearance kinda left me shorthanded.

* OH! And in Anthony's defense, Dr. Terra Shroom could have had glasses and hair before the accident - causing his "inner image" to look that way. I'm not necessarily going to go with that, if I ever do a comic in MM's Past. I just never specified what he'd look like, which is probably why he went with a generic silhouette.

Kirei-kuro - The Feathers/down/fluffy stuff does unfortunately hide Casimir's neck the way I drew it, and... what kid are you referring to, as their are many characters in the first panel of page 4. Thanks for the critique!

**Sorry! Scarn: The kid on page FOUR.

Anthonybaiz: Opening page was unnecessary. You need to space your out panels more. Also, you don’t need to have ALL motion represented in those outliney half-drawing-thingies (is there a term for those??) i.e., pg. 6, panel 1 – doing it for Casimir was good, but unnecessary for Mushroom Man. Also, some dialogue was unnecessary, i.e., pg. 5, panel 4 – her expression said enough. Bad spelling and some lack of punctuation. You may be paying too much attention to Casimir’s ass – there were certain points where you should really be only able to see one side at the angle you drew her, but you drew both, making it seem like one side sticks out really far. Finally, when Casimir was “dead” (or whatever) and you drew the glowy form of Dr. Shroom, you drew the glasses really awkwardly. Also, you really had no consideration for how Scarn drew him – Dr. Shroom didn’t have hair or glasses in Scarn’s version. However, good style and overall art. I like the character very much.

Scarn: What in the name of all things holy was that first kid on page two?? Casimir had NO NECK and her shoulders were unusually close together, so her arms looked really awkward while at her sides. The story felt kinda jumpy. You had Casimir in TWO panels…that hardly seems like a battle, even if it was continued in Anthonybaiz’s portion. Sorry, but I didn't like yours.

Hey Mister Kent! Thanks for taking the time to comment! I'm glad my background characters aren't being forgotten!

Anthony - I like your shading, and you have a good sense of motion. The action really moves through your panels - I think that was the strongest point of your comic.

Chris - Both you guys are really good at shading. I think your comic was strongest in the design of the characters - even the background characters had interesting aspects (like the cat lady bystander), which is something I admire.

Yeah, win or lose - this battle was a blast, and I learned a lot.

I  think yours is awesome mang You really got some good detail in though. I love the transformation of him. In this case i'm not worried who wins, I was happy just to do this story with your character.

Heh, that was a bit of an over-reaction... just finally was able to see what you all did. Still - Epic.

Hahahah frick, you win - hands down. Amazing, man.

ok Uploaded. On time surprisingly lol My Version is part 2 of this planned story

Uploaded.
Read my half first, as it's a planned story.

Wow 10 hrs left. I'm so nervous

Yea i'm actually sweating this week.....goodluck

O man, O man... only 10 more days :| I may have to bork the last few pages so your side of the story'll still flow..

Good luck Scarn, hang in there homie. I believe in you mang

my hand hurts... can't say I've ever drawn this long before. We'll see if I can keep the quality up.

Yeah, I kinda disappear for months after each battle...it's so much of a rush.

cool, mushroom man!!

kick some non-swearing ass Mark!


lookin forward to it.

good luck you guys, nice to see you back Scarn!

here we go!!!!!! lets give'em a show Scarn