Dear oh shada: SUBMIT SOMETHING ONE OF THESE DAYS PLZ.
Dear Neile: your art was better last time. Everything this time\'s just so flat and stiff. D:
Esquellio Bonehead vs. Michael Manx
Critiques & Comments
# 15
Posted:
Dec 10 2007, 06:10 PM
# 14
Posted:
Dec 9 2007, 10:29 PM
But Sheldon, most the people that commented are battling or have battled in the last month silly XD
# 13
Posted:
Dec 9 2007, 02:14 AM
ok guys. this neile guy is well aware he\'s a biter. and you talk like you have your own styles or something. please, if one guy said \"hey, you\'re a biter\" PLEASE, dont repeat it and turn it into a drill session. The one thing this dude has on all of you, is that he\'s actually battling.
Neile, you\'re using a method we all have used before. Wearing you influences on your sleeve is something we all do, but you need to learn how to do it without looking so blatant.
try this. next time you see an artists technique/flair you\'d like to implement in your own work, look at it (without drawing) for 5 minutes, and then draw your battle. get your motor running with the imagery you love, then fly solo for the rest of it.
also, regardless of how wonky the lines come out, try hand drawing some backgrounds.
good luck next time.
Neile, you\'re using a method we all have used before. Wearing you influences on your sleeve is something we all do, but you need to learn how to do it without looking so blatant.
try this. next time you see an artists technique/flair you\'d like to implement in your own work, look at it (without drawing) for 5 minutes, and then draw your battle. get your motor running with the imagery you love, then fly solo for the rest of it.
also, regardless of how wonky the lines come out, try hand drawing some backgrounds.
good luck next time.
# 12
Posted:
Dec 8 2007, 09:39 PM
Well, I\'ll try to keep the venom inside for this comment (hopefully)
Oh shada: Oh shada... *shakes head* No more booze for you
Neile: Angie already talked about the style thing, but I\'ll talk about it as well. There\'s a point in all of our drawing lives where we\'re greatly influenced by others to the point where we want to have that style ourselves, but this is something we do at the very beginning of our drawing lives. By now you should of worked your way out of copying others, being influenced is one thing, but you\'re just taking poses and styles and trying to place it into your own comics. Now, the bad thing about copying other styles is that you can easily form up bad habits.
Jamie Hewlett is a great artist and all, but everybody here looks like a buck toothed version of 2-D, only voiderised! It\'s a good thing that you\'re influenced by these artists, but you gotta find your own voice when it comes to making comics. Speaking of art, let\'s focus on those backgrounds, I\'m sorry dude, but those backgrounds are just boring. There\'s more to a cemetery than just cross shaped tombstones. Print out some references of real graveyards and other future backgrounds you plan on drawing and practice.
The story, while I\'m not looking for an epic like most people here, but this character is kinda one sided and plays out kinda like this:
Manx: I\'m looking for the Uber banana! Tell me where it is opponent of mine!
Opponent: No! I don\'t know where it is! But I\'m going to insult you anyway and provoke you into a fight
Manx: YOU\'LL REGRET THAT!
*Manx one hit KO\'s opponent without really trying*
Manx: I shit in your cereal this morning as well! I\'m so cleaver!
No offense, but this isn\'t exactly intelligent writing and nearly everybody has used this at least once when they joined void. But so far you\'ve done it in your intro pages, your last battle on void, and this battle too. I\'m not saying \"You have to do a 30 page epic battle that\'s enigmatic like Agent Black\'s comics\" but I am saying that you should at least give Manx a more likable personality, and at least make your opponents not seem like weaklings. Pick up some comics and give them a good read, learn about how they pace out stories and how they handle personalities and even fights with other people.
You\'ve got the abilities to really make something good dude, I\'m being honest about this, but I\'m just not seeing it here. All I\'m seeing is just a half monkey jerk who is on a pointless quest, easily pissed off, and will always beat his rival without breaking a sweat and will always have the last laugh in the end. Whatever it is you\'re planning with this fighter going to work if you ask me.
I do hope you keep battling though, this is only your second battle on void anyway and you haven\'t really gotten your feet wet, find somebody really challenging and fight them while putting something on the line like a scar match.
Oh shada: Oh shada... *shakes head* No more booze for you
Neile: Angie already talked about the style thing, but I\'ll talk about it as well. There\'s a point in all of our drawing lives where we\'re greatly influenced by others to the point where we want to have that style ourselves, but this is something we do at the very beginning of our drawing lives. By now you should of worked your way out of copying others, being influenced is one thing, but you\'re just taking poses and styles and trying to place it into your own comics. Now, the bad thing about copying other styles is that you can easily form up bad habits.
Jamie Hewlett is a great artist and all, but everybody here looks like a buck toothed version of 2-D, only voiderised! It\'s a good thing that you\'re influenced by these artists, but you gotta find your own voice when it comes to making comics. Speaking of art, let\'s focus on those backgrounds, I\'m sorry dude, but those backgrounds are just boring. There\'s more to a cemetery than just cross shaped tombstones. Print out some references of real graveyards and other future backgrounds you plan on drawing and practice.
The story, while I\'m not looking for an epic like most people here, but this character is kinda one sided and plays out kinda like this:
Manx: I\'m looking for the Uber banana! Tell me where it is opponent of mine!
Opponent: No! I don\'t know where it is! But I\'m going to insult you anyway and provoke you into a fight
Manx: YOU\'LL REGRET THAT!
*Manx one hit KO\'s opponent without really trying*
Manx: I shit in your cereal this morning as well! I\'m so cleaver!
No offense, but this isn\'t exactly intelligent writing and nearly everybody has used this at least once when they joined void. But so far you\'ve done it in your intro pages, your last battle on void, and this battle too. I\'m not saying \"You have to do a 30 page epic battle that\'s enigmatic like Agent Black\'s comics\" but I am saying that you should at least give Manx a more likable personality, and at least make your opponents not seem like weaklings. Pick up some comics and give them a good read, learn about how they pace out stories and how they handle personalities and even fights with other people.
You\'ve got the abilities to really make something good dude, I\'m being honest about this, but I\'m just not seeing it here. All I\'m seeing is just a half monkey jerk who is on a pointless quest, easily pissed off, and will always beat his rival without breaking a sweat and will always have the last laugh in the end. Whatever it is you\'re planning with this fighter going to work if you ask me.
I do hope you keep battling though, this is only your second battle on void anyway and you haven\'t really gotten your feet wet, find somebody really challenging and fight them while putting something on the line like a scar match.
# 11
Posted:
Dec 8 2007, 05:12 PM
Dude, you really need to stick with a style of your own. While we\'re all influenced by other artists and go through phases of drawing like other artists, you have to really try to find your own voice. First you were all Lysol/Sheldon like and now you\'re all doing Jamie Hewlett. It\'s okay to be influenced by someone, but try not to totally rip them off because you won\'t really learn if you don\'t try doing stuff your own way.
You also really need to start focusing on storyline because there\'s been nothing in your 2 battles that have made me want to continue reading your stuff. We don\'t know anything about Manx, we just know he\'s some guy who randomly attacks people. Most people on Void including myself have been there, you have to start branching out and giving us some sort of story to make us want to continue reading your battles. You don\'t have to do anything serious, just a little character development you know?
I would also work on your backgrounds. Backgrounds are only as boring as you make them out to be. They don\'t have to be boring, try to put your own personal twist on backgrounds that doesn\'t involve speedlines.
You also really need to start focusing on storyline because there\'s been nothing in your 2 battles that have made me want to continue reading your stuff. We don\'t know anything about Manx, we just know he\'s some guy who randomly attacks people. Most people on Void including myself have been there, you have to start branching out and giving us some sort of story to make us want to continue reading your battles. You don\'t have to do anything serious, just a little character development you know?
I would also work on your backgrounds. Backgrounds are only as boring as you make them out to be. They don\'t have to be boring, try to put your own personal twist on backgrounds that doesn\'t involve speedlines.
# 10
Posted:
Dec 8 2007, 10:20 AM
for sure, this was better than your last battle. nice to see some improvements with your BG\'s...
and i dunno if it\'s just me, but it feels like there\'s no point to the story; no rising or falling action really, and nothing really happened. Like they were like \"hi, hey, bye.\" i\'m not trying to be mean or anything ( this is why it\'s so hard for me to critique D: ), but maybe next time there can be something that Michael is aiming for, so that there will be a clear ending.
...and i really don\'t know if anything i just said made any sense, sorry XD
and i dunno if it\'s just me, but it feels like there\'s no point to the story; no rising or falling action really, and nothing really happened. Like they were like \"hi, hey, bye.\" i\'m not trying to be mean or anything ( this is why it\'s so hard for me to critique D: ), but maybe next time there can be something that Michael is aiming for, so that there will be a clear ending.
...and i really don\'t know if anything i just said made any sense, sorry XD
# 9
Posted:
Dec 8 2007, 10:09 AM
Neile, I think you should practice to find your own style for a while. I really didn\'t like the 2DManx. I will give you that you actually did make coherent backgrounds, so that\'s a step up. I suggest you start on giving them more detail. You should actually start drawing out eyes and trying to do things your way, instead of taking a style and trying to use it, because that never comes out well. But, you said yourself you weren\'t pleased and it was the best you could do, so I\'ll attribute it all to time issues. Next time, make sure you can handle the time limit.
# 8
Posted:
Dec 5 2007, 03:34 PM
Cool, I should have mine up either tonight or tomorrow afternoon. All depending on HOW drunk I get tonight.
# 7
Posted:
Dec 5 2007, 02:59 PM
Well I already uploaded my pages, \'cause I won\'t have a computer in the next two days so I had to speed up the process, and I learned that I can\'t do comics in a week it\'s just too litlle time, I\'m not pleased with this comic but it was the best I could do with the time I had, maybe I should\'ve waited before accpeting it, anyway it\'s done and uploaded...
Good luck Shada!
Good luck Shada!
# 6
Posted:
Nov 30 2007, 08:16 PM
shada...how are you doing two battles at the same time? =0 challenging yourself, hm?
i\'ll be impressed if you finish both battles on time ( i hope you do! <3 )
good luck to both of you! =]
i\'ll be impressed if you finish both battles on time ( i hope you do! <3 )
good luck to both of you! =]
# 5
Posted:
Nov 30 2007, 08:26 AM
His wig is pink!
# 4
Posted:
Nov 29 2007, 04:17 PM
Ha you wish, I have a friend that has a book full of skeleton jokes...
# 3
Posted:
Nov 29 2007, 03:11 PM
also. MONKEY YOU\'RE GOING DOOOOOOOOWWWWNNNNN. ;-)
# 2
Posted:
Nov 29 2007, 03:11 PM
back with a VENGEANCE. or however you spell it.
# 1
Posted:
Nov 29 2007, 01:11 PM
shadaa is back. yaaaay.
Regular Match
Drawing Time:
1 week
Ended:
Dec 12th, 2007
Votes Cast:
25
Page Views:
1494
Winner:
Neile
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Also I like how your storylines are goofy. Not everyone has to be all serious and epic. It\'s nice once in a while to just read something funny. And you nail it.
I just wish I had read this comic early enough to have voted. Oh well.