That second page with the moons is AWESOME but I'm going to have to agree with everyone and say I couldn't follow the comic a whole lot. So many of these inks are gorgeous but some of them are so muddled that I can't really tell what the action is or what's taking place. But hey congrats you made it to round 2 and turned in a comic! Just workshop it a little bit next time
Also RIP Morey Gorey I loved him so
Monster Mash, Round 2 / Kids Meal vs. Morey Gorey
Critiques & Comments
# 22
Posted:
Nov 16 2015, 12:50 PM
# 21
Posted:
Nov 14 2015, 04:00 PM
I would put your effort very high. You really do go in for the kill with the dynamism of your drawings and they are really quite beautiful.
Unfortunatley I'm going to have to add my voice to that horrifying echo of not knowing what is going on at times.
I don't think its all to do with your art though. I think it may also be to do with the timing of your story, its jumpiness can be quite disorientating. It literally hops around from scene to scene without much explanation and my mind has trouble filling in the gaps.
But ye, keep up the effort and I would like you to focus on a stunning comic next round that is maybe narratively simpler and can really have some more impact.
Unfortunatley I'm going to have to add my voice to that horrifying echo of not knowing what is going on at times.
I don't think its all to do with your art though. I think it may also be to do with the timing of your story, its jumpiness can be quite disorientating. It literally hops around from scene to scene without much explanation and my mind has trouble filling in the gaps.
But ye, keep up the effort and I would like you to focus on a stunning comic next round that is maybe narratively simpler and can really have some more impact.
# 20
Posted:
Nov 14 2015, 01:08 PM
King_Pong: I have no idea what the fuck is happening on most of these pages.
Quote
MONDAY- I'm gonna have to echo this. Monday, your work usually always dazzles, but with each battle, I feel your comfort zone utilizing negative space and your stark black and whites begin to bleed together into action the viewer really can't make heads or tails of. I'm sure there is some epic payoff happening in your confrontations, but my eye simply can't pull that from the mish mash of lines. I wanna say maybe the use of a gradient or slight shading may help pull your characters away from the action around them, but I can see how that would conflict with what is clearly your signature style. Still, food for thought.
UPOYK- Nooo, NOOOOO! I wanted to see so much more of Morey Gorey. My fav, dashed to the rocks by default! BRB, crying 4EVA
# 19
Posted:
Nov 12 2015, 07:44 PM
Thanks for oggling :v
# 18
Posted:
Nov 12 2015, 03:38 PM
I have no idea what the fuck is happening on most of these pages.
# 17
Posted:
Nov 12 2015, 11:03 AM
Getting in your head is fun, thanks for the fight : D
# 16
Posted:
Nov 12 2015, 11:03 AM
Yeh it was : >
# 15
Posted:
Nov 12 2015, 10:45 AM
@ everyone basically: Thank you all for the interest! Once my hand is fully up and at 'em again I want to post the finished thing as a BB. I want to complete round 1's comic as well, I really disappointed myself with that one and was hoping to turn it around this time, alas, it was not meant to be.
@ Monday: I will just say that I was absolutely ~dazzled~ by the way you drew Morey. Your take on their graveyard was inspiring too, I was struck by the variety of odd statues you put it. I tend to lean toward a lot of simpler gravestones out of laziness hahah. And perhaps I'm jumping the gun here, but were the moons sort of a nod to round 1?
@ Monday: I will just say that I was absolutely ~dazzled~ by the way you drew Morey. Your take on their graveyard was inspiring too, I was struck by the variety of odd statues you put it. I tend to lean toward a lot of simpler gravestones out of laziness hahah. And perhaps I'm jumping the gun here, but were the moons sort of a nod to round 1?
# 14
Posted:
Nov 12 2015, 12:02 AM
Monday:
- Moons: Kind of interesting but I'm not seeing how it ties into the rest of the story
- Flow seems alright for the most part but there are a few spots that don't read well, visually speaking. I'm still not clear on what's going on in the last panel of pg5 except that someone died. The panel above it, I felt the skull impact could have been just a touch more clear but I caught it readily enough. Most of the comic read alright to me though and I didn't have much trouble following the action and story.
- There was a fair amount of lead up to the fight which I felt deserved at least a few more panels. Pg12 and 13 felt really accelerated and the flow and storytelling gets choppy. I'm chalking up a fair amount of it all to a tight time table and the pressing need to wrap it up.
..and a fair amount of time later, I get the punchline at the end of pg5: Allergic to horse hair.. I wasn't expecting an explosion. ._.
Upoyk:
- Much disappoint. I do hope you'd post at least a few bits of what you have? I liked Morey...
# 13
Posted:
Nov 11 2015, 11:08 PM
pages 3 and 4 enjoyed a wealth of negative space and I thought I was being lazy.. perhaps this can be looked into. Thanks !
# 12
Posted:
Nov 11 2015, 10:22 PM
Monday: I was a liiiiitle confused as to what was going on here this time around. As pretty and appealing as your art is, the overuse of black make it visually hard to follow what was happening until I read it for the 3rd time. I personally believe you'll benefit more with trying to use less black and details in the future, like what you had on pages 3 and 4. Morey I feel could have been more prominent in the story overall as well, but thats jsut a personal thing. Overall despite the confusion, I enjoyed what you had once I got it figured out!
# 11
Posted:
Nov 11 2015, 08:18 PM
There was something 20+ pages planned out for this but a commitment in a haunted house gig traded around 8 days of my time away in exchange for an awesome halloween. So I'm gonna come out and say that this is defintely not my most focused work, in fact it definitely fell back to some old habits.
However for whatever parts I did have on here , Im pretty glad you found them enjoyable. Thank you for reading : )
However for whatever parts I did have on here , Im pretty glad you found them enjoyable. Thank you for reading : )
# 10
Posted:
Nov 11 2015, 06:29 PM
Monday: This comic is a little all over the place as far as plot.. There's this crazy cool moon duel myth on page 1 that doesn't seem to be related to anything else at all in the other 12 pages. Then pages 3-6 everyone suddenly starts dying and it's really unclear what is happening or what relevance it has to anything else. THEN, we've got Ariana, and just because I really like her (you know why) the person I really wanna get to know more is Kid's Meal, and we didn't learn much of anything new about him in this comic. And then we've got his interaction with Morey Gorey, a character with so much material to work in character wise and they only get like 3 panels to interact with each other before he's just dead. Love the art as always but your last battle I feel was stronger overall.
Upoyk: Noooooooooo why not at least put up more sketches ;_;
Keep it up guys Monday obvi you're one of us but Upoyk I hope we see more of you! And your character isn't registered dead until voting ends so if you wanna try and take another crack you got this week to get challenged or challenge someone!
Upoyk: Noooooooooo why not at least put up more sketches ;_;
Keep it up guys Monday obvi you're one of us but Upoyk I hope we see more of you! And your character isn't registered dead until voting ends so if you wanna try and take another crack you got this week to get challenged or challenge someone!
# 9
Posted:
Nov 11 2015, 11:04 AM
there's only one sound track adapted: DECAPITIOOOOOOON !!!!!!
# 8
Posted:
Nov 11 2015, 07:38 AM
Monday- I love how you draw Morey Gorey- I think my favorite is his surprised expression on page 6. This story took me two passes to properly follow- there were so many characters in costume I started getting confused who was killing who. But I love the environment you created, and Kid's gleeful killing face on page 8, I wish we could have seen his face more in this haha. I feel like it kinda fell apart on the last page- the murder looks great but Kid's proportions seem a bit off somehow. For all my nitpcks though I thought this was a really entertaining and well crafted comic!
Upoyk- awww =(
Upoyk- awww =(
# 7
Posted:
Nov 9 2015, 11:17 PM
I'm formatting my pages still my computer is sick with something and making things slow :\
# 6
Posted:
Nov 9 2015, 06:16 PM
mmm deadline burn
Edit: MMM! I'm going to have to default. Sorry guys, time to rest the wrist
Edit: MMM! I'm going to have to default. Sorry guys, time to rest the wrist
# 5
Posted:
Nov 2 2015, 01:31 PM
This looks like it should be interesting
# 4
Posted:
Oct 26 2015, 11:17 PM
ù_ú
ò_ó
ò_ó
# 3
Posted:
Oct 26 2015, 04:16 PM
OH MY GOSH I WANT THIS FIGHT
# 2
Posted:
Oct 26 2015, 01:46 PM
I - I need to update my design sheet :O !
# 1
Posted:
Oct 26 2015, 01:00 PM
I had made a short list of 'matches I really, really wanted to see over the course of this Speed Death Tournament' after reading all of the Round 1 entries.
This was one of 'em.
And it's a shame it's so early because I would have liked to see more work from the both of you. Good luck.
This was one of 'em.
And it's a shame it's so early because I would have liked to see more work from the both of you. Good luck.
Speed Death Tournament Match
Drawing Time:
2 weeks
Ended:
Nov 16th, 2015
Votes Cast:
17
Page Views:
2267
Winner:
Monday
Monsters of Nature
Dairyu vs. Rickter & Gus
@ 8:14 PM Mar 28th
Intro Story
King
@ 3:09 PM Mar 28th
Help Needed
Theakon
@ 8:41 AM Mar 28th
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Artist
For posterity, my first fight with Venom was also improvised halfway through but was markedly better for it because it had a more focused departure point and more pages and time to smooth over the main points i wanted to say. Asides that, the comment of using too much blacks is new to me. Perhaps a cheap gradient here and there might /actually/ help despite my hatred for them :v