Joey vs. KJV

Joey vs. KJV

by Dechado

This comic has not been rated; viewer discretion advised.

Icon for Joey43.3%
430 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3

Crit level: No preference


This comic has not been rated; viewer discretion advised.

Icon for KJV56.7%
562 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8Page 9

Crit level: No preference




Critiques & Comments
Please register or log in to comment


Dechado
Artist
255 comments
# 25   Posted: May 15 2013, 04:50 PM
-GlassesSerpent-
It’s good to see the comic with dialogues. I remember you keeping me hyped with your bribes at tumblr, and I have to thank you for that.
I love you okay? Let’s get married soon.

I especially like that one pannel with Joey cursing(?) in Demon-ese.

I will obviously be biased with my comment, but I really liked your comic. The way you portrayed Joey was… Kinda cute, at least from my point of view. I liked that even though you knew he was hypersexual and all that, you didn’t exactly make him that lustful and all that. Even to the point where he offered to “fix” Kari. (Even though she wasn’t broken. Dammit Joey)
My only opinion or suggestion or pseudo-witty comment would be. Consistency.
Everything was beautifully drawn and in nice shape and proportions, but it seemed to have dropped a bit on Page 8, on the last pannels. I’m aware those are smaller, so that probably affected it a bit.
Are you not familiar with profile views? Kari on that second to last square seemed a bit… Square-ish to me.
I’d also recommend using speed-lines to give your action scenes a bit more “Pawnch” to it. Again, it was probably something hard to achieve as the steam in the room was already taking great part of what the square had, but perhaps in future battles, it would be nice to see more action from you.
HopeIammakingsense. Sorry I am stupid.

Again, I apologize for the lack of my… Whatever it is called, to complete comics. I do not deal well with deadlines, and that shouldn’t be an excuse. As other people have said, my entry was crazy short for a 5-weeker battle.
I am glad you at least liked how I drew Kari and Lu. And to be honest, I had some trouble with Lu, as she usually appears in the background of your comics and didn’t allow me to give her a specific trait.
And thank you for the tips. I will shed manly tears, thank you!

All in all, great match, and thank you for showing interest in battling me. Looking forward for future works from you! Good luck and continue kicking ass!


-DeathlySilent-
The gray pannels, are honestly because my eyes are a bit sensitive and can’t stand to watch at a completely white screen for long.
I was recommended to use some glasses to protect my visual organs. But fuck that.
If that’s the case, I’ll follow your advice and “paint” the characters white.
Gah! Backgrounds are my weakness. I can never find what to put there! Ogdhsd
No excuse though, next comic will have more backgrounds details than I can handle. Or something. Imma improve on that, thank you!

And what is that. First KJV’s comic? BLASPHEMY. Go read them all. Now!


-LeFred-
Panini Erection? Oh my God. Imma use that as my username.
I have absolutely no excuse as why I didn’t add color or more volume to the characters and backgrounds. I just wanted to get this done, and went with that.
Hopefully, future comics will be a bit more finished and I’ll know how to use my time wisely.

I’ll try to proof-read my stuff often. Again, I did this on a rush, and after a 2nd read I gave it, I managed to catch several spelling mistakes.
Thanks LeFred!
(Omg Dumpster Broomstick)

-Bobo-
I am glad it gave you a laugh. It’s good to know some people share my terrible sense of humor. Haha.
I FINISHED A COMIC. I TOLD YOU ALL I WOULD, DID I NOT? Good.
Sad part, it was actually a 5 week comic as I added an extension, I just wanted to finish the comic and all. Guuugh.

Thank you, Bobo!
And yes, I do know I can change my username myself. It’s a thing of pride and honor, I guess. Hurp.


-Puzzlething-
Crazy short for a 5 week, indeed.
To be honest, I had no real plot to this, so went with a quick joke and called it done.

I usually use the soft shading… Thing to… Well uh, shade. Lower the hardness on the brush. Yeah, I think that’s it.
Shading has never been my strong point to be honest. I suppose I should play with Hardness and Opacity next comic.
I don’t know. I might have rushed those bits a bit.


-Becs-
Sadly we didn’t exactly “collab”. It was a mere accident that we somehow followed the same story of the Panini. I just changed my dialogue a bit and gave more importance to the Sandwich, so it would look like a follow up to GlassessSerpent’s comic.

I SHALL DRAW LOTS OF BUTTS AND DICKS TO IMPROVE MY ANATOMY. MARK MY WORDS.

Thanks Becs. <3


-nibbles-
Well since we are speaking our mind, I think I shall join.
A big peeve of mine is when people say something like “If you do this, I’ll take points from you”
Don’t do that. Just take the points off without telling the world and your grandma about it.



-Energy-
I’ve actually been trying to draw from photos recently! It’s quite fun and you get to notice the features of everyone.
And yessss backgrounds are my worst enemy. I’m slowly trying to get better at those.

Thanks Energy!



-Master Kent-
Yes. I am practicing more with humans. For whatever reason they are always hard to get. That’s probably why I prefer drawing snouty characters. No excuse though, I’ll continue sketching humans here and there.

I think I might have used the Pen Tool for those lines you’ve mentioned. I’ll try to avoid that.

Thanks!

Mister Kent
Artist
958 comments
# 24   Posted: May 12 2013, 04:43 PM
Oh, one note I missed for Elg - be careful with your lines! When he's eating that scrumptious boner-inducing panini some of the lines, especially in his collar and hands are too straight/angular, and it really stands out. Just be careful with that :D

Mister Kent
Artist
958 comments
# 23   Posted: May 12 2013, 04:40 PM
Elge - I like that your side felt like it had a satisying narrative. The two things I would work on are the human heads and environments. KJV looks a little alien here, while Joey looks reasonably normal--err, as normal as someone like that can--err, I mean to say *proportionate* Just practice more on the human figures, and maybe adding a little personality to the backgrounds.

GS - I agree that the writing is very difficult to read. The first hooked me instantly with the great layout and establishing shots (especially the overhead view of the basement! wow) KJV makes some great expressions in this comic, especially when yelling on page 7. I see lots of improvement, just keep pushing and developing that anatomy :D

Energy
Artist
139 comments
# 22   Posted: May 9 2013, 08:55 PM
Elge - All I can really say here is that you could work on those faces a little bit.  Try looking at photos at people's faces.  Also the backgrounds are a little dull, you could add a few more tables if the comic's set in a restaurant.

GS - I love the bird's eye perspective shots.  Anyway, I'm a little confused at what went on in panels 3 through 6 on page 2, you probably could've used less panels to convey KJV's sighting of Lesdai better.  Also, I have little clue what's supposed to be going on during the little fight KJV and Lesdai have after she snaps his finger.  It might just be me, or it might just be the way the panels are laid out during the fight.

Anyway, great job you two.  Hope to see more from you guys.

Nibbles
Artist
194 comments
# 21   Posted: May 9 2013, 04:57 PM
Glass, the lack of a readable font dropped you two whole entertainment points in my vote.  I'm terrible at reading handwriting and it's a super-peeve of mine.

Rah
Artist
57 comments
# 20   Posted: May 8 2013, 07:21 PM
Man, Joey REALLY enjoyed that panini...

It's nice to see you two tackling a 2-part story, I like those kind of challenges. I do feel like there could have been a more even division of labour, though. Might have alleviated the need for an extension if GlassesSerpent had less of the story to work on? But at the very least it is good to see two finished comics!

Sugha - I agree with what people have said about the flat grey in the majority of the comic, the characters and backgrounds blend together too much. It gets more dynamic when Joey's on fire but the shadows are too soft and not placed thoughtfully enough to really give any form to anything. I like your clean lines though and your panelling is much more readable than what I've seen from you previously! Just keep practicing your anatomy and perspective drawing because your lines would really benefit from that.

GlassesSerpent - I was going to say the same thing as Puzzlething about your hatching - it's very clean and neat , but maybe a little TOO neat. Having the same uniform hatching on everything makes it a little dull and flat in places. Try and push your lines by adding some different texture in there! The fight montage was interesting - I see what you were trying to do, fights can be disjointed and disorienting, but I'm not sure if it worked for me personally. I would much rather have seen more movement in the characters themselves than the panelling. For example on page 5 last panel where KJV punches Joey in the stomach there isn't much impact or movement there. I really enjoyed reading the comic though and I'm finding KJV's character interesting to learn about. :)

Puzzlething
Artist
457 comments
# 19   Posted: May 8 2013, 11:14 AM
  Sugha     -

                  Crazy short for a 4 week ( or is it a 5 week? I saw an extension mentioned somewhere and I don't know if that affects the "Drawing Time" in the fight info) And yet I still think it's too long. I don't really think you need that much build-up for such a simple joke. You could've set up that joke and dropped the punchline in a page. If you wanted the  "He seems to really hate it" section to be a long drawn out thing in and of itself, you could've pushed Lesdai's reaction to the panini waaaaay further.

       The solid grey tone of the panels flattens your scenes. Either some simple toning or just leaving it black and white would've been better. The shift from grey to red was cool though, like the panel's were being superheated, but I didn't like the rendering in those bits. It's sort of mushy and insubstantial. It's especially jarring when you have such clean and confident linework.  You could've really pushed the lighting in that scene to play up the faux-drama of Lesdai's reaction.


GlassesSerpent          -

                 Dude your hatching looks waaaaaay better in this comic, it's amazing. Keep strengthening the structure of your forms and it'll only look better and better. The way you hatch across the form creates really solid resting figures, but it stiffens and slows the action when your characters move quickly. When you want create more dynamism in your figures, angle your hatch lines in the direction you want the eye to travel. Of course make sure they still curve around the form of the object underneath, don't ignore that. But  when you angle a line so it moves along a form rather than across it, it slows the readers eye way less, and gives the illusion of action.

Also, try experimenting with texture. You use the exact same kind of hatching for everything in the comic, when you could be varying the kind's of lines your using. Use your linework to describe more than form, but also material and texture.

     Nitpicky thing, but I wish you'd drawn the smoke out instead of just doing stink lines, especially since it's heavily featured later in the comic. Smoke is stupid fun to draw too.

        The characterization of KJV is interesting. She's like really hostile, pig-headed, and slightly unhinged. None of those traits are romanticized either. She's actually a pretty unpleasant person, but in a very real way. I don't like KJV, and at the same time I'm interested in her story, and how things change. Ah, I hope that doesn't come off as harsh or anything! I'm trying to pay a compliment ;_;


   Great work getting these comics in guys! I can't wait to see more.
     

Rose
Web Dev
1180 comments
# 18   Posted: May 8 2013, 07:44 AM
sugha: I also want my complete username back.
Quote
You know how to do that, right? You can change it yourself. :)

Rose
Web Dev
1180 comments
# 17   Posted: May 8 2013, 07:43 AM
sugha: I chuckled. I'm not crazy about the flat gray in most of the comic; could have used some toning, but HEY! You finished a comic! Like, totally inked and everything! And those lines do look quite nice. I feel like we should have seen more from you for a four-week comic, but you're making progress. :)

Serpent: I'm loving your hatching style more and more with each comic. It definitely felt cleaner this time around. The text was a little hard to read, but I enjoyed the style of your handwriting, so maybe just be a little more careful in future comics to make sure everything is really legible. The character development was awesome, and I felt you did both of the characters the justice they deserved. I'm not sure how I feel about the fight scene; it was an interesting way to do it, but it didn't feel like a fight scene as much as an abstract indie film montage or something. Which might just be what you were going for anyway. I loved your comic and hope to see more from you!

I hope to see more from both of you! :)

Fred
Artist
550 comments
# 16   Posted: May 7 2013, 06:15 PM
Panini Erection, This was nice and simple, with a funny little twist. Nothing that will change Void comic history, but quite edible. The lines are very noce and clean and I really like the bit of color, though It makes me want to see all of it more finished. The anatomy is a bit wonky, the most striking for me being his very short legs in the last panel. Also, "Panini, and get off my table!" and "No, and get some pants!", you see how similar those two sentences are? it's like two twin punchlines one after the other. Don't do that. Find some other way to word stuff.

Dumpster Broomstick, this looks really good! It's a step up and your personal style is always charming. My main problem with this is the sudden change in tone around the middle, when Grahl goes from being taken in and calmly eating to yellow eyes and being creepy and agressive. It feels like you wanted to tell two different stories and just cut from first half of one and put the end of the other. I found it quite jarring. Also, I'm not sure what isn't fair at the end? She lowered her price, he should be happy. Also, why does she put conditions on him entering the restaurent, does she not like customers and making money? I guess it's closed, but there is nothing to indicate it. But anyway, I  otherwise found it to be quite enjoyable.

DeathlySilent
Artist
38 comments
# 15   Posted: May 7 2013, 03:44 PM
Sugha:  First I really liked the transition panels and the scorch marks you put on the table and chair. I also found your story cute and simple. I didn't really like the solid grey panels and I think next time you should at least make the figures white so they pop out a little more. And I think maybe maybe a little more in the background would have been beneficial, like another table or customer ( Not that I should be making comments about backgrounds >< ) . Overall very cute and good improvement!

GlassesSerpent: I really like the textures you made with the lines and your panel layouts were creative and fun
and just lovely to read/look at. I liked the story and Lesdai's slight change in character gave me the creeps. I do think you could improve the comic by adding a little more variation in line weight just because I found the lines could get a little confusing in some of the panels. My first KJV comic I read and I'll keep a look out for more.

Can wait to see more from both of you!!!

( I hope these are helpful I'm not used to giving critiques. )

GlassesSerpent
Artist
18 comments
# 14   Posted: May 7 2013, 12:35 PM
Sugha: First, thanks for the challenge, it was a good opportunity to explore KJV a little bit differently.  I know you had everything get in your way this month and you had to start over late in the game, it always sucks when that happens.  And that you didn't want to post what you had but I talked you into it rather selfishly.
Second, I do think you're definitely improving; your human faces are getting more variation and consistency, and your linework is getting cleaner.  And of course I always enjoy seeing my two ladies drawn by other people ha ha ha.
By way of critique: I think you'll want to look into working on linear perspective and human head shapes.  Both should really help you improve but the latter can be a pain in the neck, but drawing tons and tons of people for a week or two should help a lot.  Some little things like how the thighs connect to the hips, the range of motion of the arm, and so on.  You've come a ways already since you started on Void, and the way you draw Lesdai Grahl on his own makes me think you've got the beginnings of a strong graphic style waiting to be tapped, go for it!
Also I hadn't realized you really did tie it in directly with mine!  Which was fun.  As LeFred said, it's nice and simple.

GlassesSerpent
Artist
18 comments
# 13   Posted: May 5 2013, 02:08 PM
Uploaded my pages today, squeaking in with one day left!
I really appreciated the extension.  I could have had it finished at the original end date but this definitely gave me some time to work on improving some things.
I tried to take into account all the feedback I've gotten on my other fights so far.  Notably: drawing on a bigger canvas and with a smaller brush, being more careful with characters' proportions (i would give myself a C on that one), drawing the characters larger on the panels (B), making sure there's character interaction rather than just plot progression (B), and making sure the hatching is more substantial (B+).  That's how I felt about it anyway.
Hope everyone enjoys!

EDIT: A word of warning, there is some nudity in this one.  Nothing sexual of course, just being true to Sugha's character and his penchant for droppin' trow.  Also, forgive my awful handwriting.  I tried really hard and wrote really slowly to make sure it's legible, but it's a little inconsistent even at my best.

Dechado
Artist
255 comments
# 12   Posted: Apr 28 2013, 03:03 PM
I start exams tomorrow, busy week and all.

I think it is better to have those there to be on the "safe side". But yes, I will polish here and there if I get the time.

PyrasTerran
Artist
1512 comments
# 11   Posted: Apr 28 2013, 01:32 PM
You've got 8 days left, you don't wanna polish anything up?

Dechado
Artist
255 comments
# 10   Posted: Apr 28 2013, 12:50 PM
A'ight. Uploaded.

We "accidentally" ended up doing some sort of a collab battle, only not really.
So, read GlassesSerpent comic first. Might make more sense that way.

Only not really.


The comic is finished, but still, let's see how many people I manage to piss off this time (I'm looking at you, Kura.)

Dechado
Artist
255 comments
# 9   Posted: Apr 19 2013, 01:16 PM
Added an extension.

LET'S DO THIS.

Rah
Artist
57 comments
# 8   Posted: Apr 5 2013, 08:46 AM
This should make for an interesting matchup! Can't wait to see the FINISHED comics ;)

Tofubeast
Artist
254 comments
# 7   Posted: Apr 4 2013, 11:20 PM
GOGOGO

Dechado
Artist
255 comments
# 6   Posted: Apr 2 2013, 12:27 PM
Crafty: Looking forward to this~!

Elge, you shall restore your honour and former username this time, or I shall forever kick you in the shins.
Quote

N-not the shins. Please.

Crafty
Artist
65 comments
# 5   Posted: Apr 2 2013, 05:44 AM
Looking forward to this~!

Elge, you shall restore your honour and former username this time, or I shall forever kick you in the shins.

GlassesSerpent
Artist
18 comments
# 4   Posted: Apr 1 2013, 11:14 PM
A great thing about Void is that two ridiculously different characters can be there at the same time.  Looking forward to see what you come up with!

Mister Kent
Artist
958 comments
# 3   Posted: Apr 1 2013, 11:04 PM
Wow--interesting matchup! Good luck both of you!

Dechado
Artist
255 comments
# 2   Posted: Apr 1 2013, 11:02 PM
This is the reason why I should not be allowed to comment on anything anymore.

Double posts everywhere.

FUCK.

Dechado
Artist
255 comments
# 1   Posted: Apr 1 2013, 11:02 PM
Death before default. Death before default. Death be-... adklsklajd.

I also want my complete username back.

Good luck, GlassesSerpent! Looking forward to see your part! C:

Comic Details -

 
Regular Match
Drawing Time: 4 weeks + 1
Ended: May 13th, 2013
Votes Cast: 29
Page Views: 2281
Winner: GlassesSerpent
 

Add to Playlist -

 
 

Newest Comments -


Newest Characters -

 
KingAugustus ThomasTheakonRod ChirpwoodHuskMizz BonzaiSpidella WidowsMyrmidonGhoulArcher Heart MercuryDuncan Dealbhaoth
 

Open Challenges -


Random Comic -


Most Wanted -

 
RantuBlack SwanNagoreChickenMannUltraDairyuRickter & GusTheakonJaJaWendigoAleyjah & SukriGwen & RegiOleander
 


Latest Topics -

 
All News, All The Time 
Last updated: Staff Bot - Today at 05:49 AM
Clown Jam 
Last updated: Radji - Feb 11, 2024, 04:51 AM
INTRODUCE YOURSELF 
Last updated: Maz - Nov 06, 2023, 04:13 PM
FAQ: Questions About Void? Post Yours Here! 
Last updated: Darius Corry - Sep 09, 2023, 03:15 PM
Art Diary of an Eternal Student 
Last updated: BoogidiBzdo - Aug 22, 2023, 09:17 PM
 

Latest Members -


Users online -

 
290 Guests, 1 User


[]

Most Online Today: 351.
Most Online Ever: 1,184 (Jan 13, 2020, 06:21 PM)

 

About Us

We exist to provide an environment for artists to learn and improve their sequential art skills competitively. Our community is designed to give critical feedback and encouragement to our many members the world over, at all skill levels.

Follow Us