I'm kind of amused how this lines up with my side of our battle, haha.
I think you're going in a good direction applying more finish to your pages, definitely do this more!
As far as color goes, you should think less about what colour each thing is - i.e. walls purple, same skin colour every time - and more about what colour the scene is. Don't forget that coloring is a storytelling technique as well. Some things (like the path on the last page) pop strongly, and drown out the other sections. Maybe work on tone first (I noticed your shadows on some things, but it was very very faint! go bold!) looking at things in greyscale may help. For example, convert some of your pages here, and you'll see that some of your colors are very similar.
Excited to see what you come up with next week!
The Party of Evil / Jessie Valley
Critiques & Comments
# 4
Posted:
Jun 28 2012, 12:44 AM
# 3
Posted:
Jun 27 2012, 09:13 PM
Oh my god, that PURPLE!
Okay, so things you should have made us understand in this; Why are they inquiring to random people about explosive? Where is this and why should the people that hang out there should know about explosives? Who's that dude who knows about the bomb, why does he know about it and why does he share it with them? Why are he walls coloured with that insane PURPLE? Why's Hades exposing his plan like that? That's kinda corny. There also seems to be a lack of good reasoning behind the taking of the machine. Are they in the habit of just stealing big machines from places with PURPLE walls?
What you've got to think about when writting a story is that things don't just happen. They have to happen for a reason. Characters have ambitions and goals and all that stuff, that makes them affect the story. They're not just objects to make a plot move along. They are in part that, but you've got to elaborate more. They can put the flesh on the bone of the plot.
But yeah, learning's the fun part and the fun part is we're always learning. Today, I learned something new about PURPLE.
Okay, so things you should have made us understand in this; Why are they inquiring to random people about explosive? Where is this and why should the people that hang out there should know about explosives? Who's that dude who knows about the bomb, why does he know about it and why does he share it with them? Why are he walls coloured with that insane PURPLE? Why's Hades exposing his plan like that? That's kinda corny. There also seems to be a lack of good reasoning behind the taking of the machine. Are they in the habit of just stealing big machines from places with PURPLE walls?
What you've got to think about when writting a story is that things don't just happen. They have to happen for a reason. Characters have ambitions and goals and all that stuff, that makes them affect the story. They're not just objects to make a plot move along. They are in part that, but you've got to elaborate more. They can put the flesh on the bone of the plot.
But yeah, learning's the fun part and the fun part is we're always learning. Today, I learned something new about PURPLE.
# 2
Posted:
Jun 27 2012, 03:43 PM
Energy, I'm enjoying your progression and hope you feel like your time here at VOID is really teaching you a lot. I want to draw your attention to how you establish the setting for your comics, such as where the comic takes place, who each of the characters are, and what their relationships are to each other. I felt a little lost here, although you did give enough clues to get the general gist of it. Take some time to add more detail to your backgrounds, including clear signs that distinguish your location from any other room or place in the world, and try some more wide shots that show where the characters are in relation to each other. I think practicing those few skills will really bring out your story in the future.
Keep it up! I can't wait to see more from you, Energy!
Keep it up! I can't wait to see more from you, Energy!
# 1
Posted:
Jun 26 2012, 10:18 PM
This comic has been finished and uploaded.
Beyond Battle
Drawing Time:
2 weeks
Ended:
Jul 3rd, 2012
Votes Cast:
17
Page Views:
1796
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