Enzeru vs. Black Swan

Enzeru vs. Black Swan

This comic has not been rated; viewer discretion advised.

Icon for Enzeru52.1%
462 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8

Crit level: No preference


by JCee

This comic has not been rated; viewer discretion advised.

Icon for Black Swan47.9%
425 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8Page 9Page 10

Crit level: No preference




Critiques & Comments
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Neon Prime
Artist
8 comments
# 20   Posted: Oct 3 2011, 01:31 PM
Wow! That was a close one.Thanks Tatsura! I enjoyed it too and look forward to seeing more of your work:)

JCee
Artist
425 comments
# 19   Posted: Oct 3 2011, 01:04 AM
Congrats, Neon Prime! It was fun battling you.

Angie
Council
1937 comments
# 18   Posted: Sep 25 2011, 08:45 PM
Neon Prime-Yeah, if you can get ahold of some editing software, it'll really make your stuff look nice

http://img101.imageshack.us/img101/3430/examplepa.jpg

I just bumped the levels up using Adobe Photoshop. There are free programs like Gimp that you should be able to use to do it. The software that came with your scanner should be able to do it as well.

Anyways, aside from the scanning issues, I think the comic looked pretty nice. I really like your style and your lineart a lot. One thing that bothered me though is your text. It may benefit you a lot to download some comic fonts from http://blambot.com because while your text is readable and nice, you have a lot of issues with the letters not fitting in the word bubbles very well which hurts your presentation some. The only other thing I really noticed was sometimes you have a tendency to make the upper torso way too long on the characters. This was especially noticeable in the last 3 panels on the last page, Gossamer's body was pretty crazy long. Other than that definitely keep it up, these are looking nice.

Tatsura-I really like your character a lot, it's nice to see a truly nice character on Void. It's definitely a good contrast to all the gritty characters we have here. I do have to echo what others have said about using some shading, it'll add a lot of depth to your work. It's amazing how much it helps to do just a little shading like so

http://img683.imageshack.us/img683/6445/example2n.jpg

I didn't do anything fancy here for the most part, I just created a new layer set on multiply and used 1 grey tone and went over areas I wanted shading. The only fancy thing I did was in the last 2 panels I went over the tones with a gradient set on multiply but that's not totally necessary. You won't get good at it until you practice it!

One thing I noticed is you tend to use the same brush a lot, which doesn't hurt you too bad for zoomed in shots, but for really far zoomed out panels, it becomes really apparent. For instance, on that page I shaded in the second panel everyone has a pretty bold outline which doesn't work out so well for that type of shot. Other than that it was a pretty nice comic, I enjoyed the character interaction.


PyrasTerran
Artist
1513 comments
# 17   Posted: Sep 25 2011, 07:33 PM
double-post~

PyrasTerran
Artist
1513 comments
# 16   Posted: Sep 25 2011, 07:33 PM
Neon: If you don't have a program to fix your scans you can always ask one of us to do it for you. You'd be surprised how much a different a little retouching making. Next time you finish your pages, if you ask me, I'll make those blacks right for you.

I re-read the Sonny story and Enzeru's bio, so I figured out what it those orbs were~

Neon Prime
Artist
8 comments
# 15   Posted: Sep 25 2011, 05:22 PM
Thanks William...a lil' toothbrush goes a long way:P

Neon Prime
Artist
8 comments
# 14   Posted: Sep 25 2011, 05:21 PM
Hey PyrasTerran.Those orbs are like The Holy Spirit.Oh crap...yep..I screwed up. I misread my notes and gave Gossamer telepathy. Let the flogging begin!

Neon Prime
Artist
8 comments
# 13   Posted: Sep 25 2011, 04:54 PM
First, I have to again say thanks to tatsura for letting me play with Gossamer Swan!Such a unique character and style.I'd love to see this in the local comic store:) Second,thanks to everyone for the comments and advice! The blacks issue being darker is something i've been trying to get under control.That's one of the reasons I started tinting in blue as opposed to gray.Unfortunately my scanner just doesn't pick up tones very well unless I use acrylics(which is time consuming):P

JCee
Artist
425 comments
# 12   Posted: Sep 25 2011, 01:45 PM
Yes, I agree with you all on the shading part. I've always been bad with my shading skills, but next time I will give it a shot.

Mister Kent
Artist
958 comments
# 11   Posted: Sep 25 2011, 12:39 PM
Neon Prime: Some of your pages were gorgeous--I enjoy your lively facial expressions and interesting shading technique. I think that some of the blacks could be darker, but overall, great comic!

Tatsura: I agree with William that a little depth could add a lot to your style, some shading would be great.  That said, I always enjoy Swan's dramatic posing, and I was glad to see some more aspects of the Entourage. Nice work!

PyrasTerran
Artist
1513 comments
# 10   Posted: Sep 25 2011, 09:45 AM
Neon: I agree with William's review totally, so I back it~ I have 2 questions; what are those orbs Enzeru throws in page 3, and, did you give Gossamer Swan telepathy in page 6?

Tatsura: I can see what you mean by breaking out of your comfort zone; There's alot of new stuff here you're tackling, but it's great that you are. I agree with Will; shading of some sort would have really sold this comic. For the last sequence, I think it would have been neater if she stopped a bullet with her power (if she can do that). Lastly, I don't know if her wind powers should be opaque, unless the wind is in fact glowing.

Good job, both of you

William_Duel
Community Manager
943 comments
# 9   Posted: Sep 25 2011, 09:08 AM
Tatsura for your next comic I think it would be cool if you tried your hand at shadowing.  Part of the problem is that all the lines share the same weight and this adds to the overall lack of depth your figures have.  I don't know if this is because of your natural pen hand or whether you stroke the lines but they are all thick and have the same weight.  Even if you used a simple grey, I'd like to see that become a regular part of your comics.  You do it for your covers which is fine but the comic itself needs that sort of love too.  Considering you had two days left still, I think there was time to consider it.  Please use the site to your advantage and push and experiment.

Neon Prime, it's nice to see you be so active right off the bat.  Your characters are very diverse which is cool and you have some nice shadowing.  I am fond of the grainy/spray effects you use.  I would advise you though to consider getting an art program so you can manipulate your blacks into being darker so that the colors do not come off as being dull in this regard.  If you're able to access a copy of PS then it's as simple as using Curves.

JCee
Artist
425 comments
# 8   Posted: Sep 25 2011, 02:38 AM
UPLOADED.



Neon Prime
Artist
8 comments
# 7   Posted: Sep 17 2011, 08:17 PM
 Artists  do some of their best work when their out of their comfort zone.Can't wait to see it!

JCee
Artist
425 comments
# 6   Posted: Sep 17 2011, 06:21 AM
Almost finished!!!

This one is so out of my comfort zone, I'm not used to so much detail @__@

Mister Kent
Artist
958 comments
# 5   Posted: Sep 4 2011, 12:56 PM
I think these two would be a lovely pair ~ best of luck you two!

JCee
Artist
425 comments
# 4   Posted: Aug 27 2011, 10:37 PM
You're welcome, and thanks.


Neon Prime
Artist
8 comments
# 3   Posted: Aug 27 2011, 06:06 PM
Thanks Tatsura for the opportunity to use your character...she's great.Good Luck!

Orion
Artist
224 comments
# 2   Posted: Aug 22 2011, 10:10 PM
Alright! You guys certainly are hungry for action!

Can't wait to see what you got!

JCee
Artist
425 comments
# 1   Posted: Aug 22 2011, 08:45 PM
I've finally got an idea where to go with this.

Best of luck!

Comic Details -

 
Regular Match
Drawing Time: 4 weeks + 1
Ended: Oct 2nd, 2011
Votes Cast: 19
Page Views: 2395
Winner: Neon Prime
 

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