2013 Tag Tournament: Round 1 / Agent KOBA and Anya vs. Satin and Lilyfeather

2013 Tag Tournament: Round 1 — Agent KOBA and Anya vs. Satin and Lilyfeather

This comic has not been rated; viewer discretion advised.

Icon for SatinIcon for Lilyfeather51.8%
1238 points
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Crit level: No preference


by ledes87 and Duredhel

This comic has not been rated; viewer discretion advised.

Icon for Agent KOBAIcon for Anya48.2%
1153 points
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Critiques & Comments
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PyrasTerran
Artist
1512 comments
# 24   Posted: Mar 3 2013, 01:31 PM
ledes/Duradhel: Artwork is brilliant as would be expected from you guys. As far as Orphanage lore, I'm not sure if what's been revealed would be a revelation or a retconning (making all the gods in your previous comics instead Fear demons), if it's a revelation, it's cheapened by the previous comics straightup lying, but I guess that's a very minor detail. I think this is a problem you've had in the past, where your endings are not much of endings, or are weak cliffhangers. I know a thing or two about making this mistake. It would probably serve you better to just finish each comic rather than totally tie it into a new one, unless you're doing them in BB's, I suppose. Which I think is what you're planning, so, that's that! You guys made the same mistake that Felle and I did, not focusing enough on the opponents' characters, though technically it probably only seems that way because there's just so many pages period, because the girls did get some cool stuff in. But again, like with us, they were more side characters than the central co-stars, and as we will try to rectify this in the future, you guys should, too.

Majikura/Animeshen: I'm jaw-dropped by how many pages you threw in and applaud you for that. The story's solid throughout and the macabre twist to the magical girl school plot is very much appreciated. It seemed like the lines were unnaturally clean in the first pages but that problem cleared up right away. I love love LOVE the gag ending.

TINMAN
Artist
140 comments
# 23   Posted: Mar 3 2013, 07:36 AM


Kura/Shen
The school setting is immediately familiar and accessible without an infodump required- you show and not tell us the scenario. You take the tropes and turn them to your favor, and I expect great things of your quest to collect ingredients from all the tag teams, you’ve set up a nice little arc for yourselves by doing so. The humor of your slightly creepy/cute characters interacting is well written and there were many laughs to be had here. Of course you have action and plot backbone as well.

The Choose your own adventure is clever although it could have done with some abbreviation, the decompression of the raps and battle took the joke perhaps futher than it needed to go and you padded out page counts to stress yourselves where otherwise you could have put more quality into those pages. The trouble with characters who summon is you take focus off the characters we actually care about in favor of mindless drones- and when two of these characters fight each other its even worse.

Satin’s powers are used to cool visual effect. The action effects are great with Kura’s new explosion technique in full effect, great inky stroke action and meticulously detailed spell wheels taking centerstage. The clothed zombies exhibited very creative power usage to win the fight and the rap battle compositions were varied and interesting- as well as clever. The word balloon placement on page 24 is sort of goofy but readable- small gripe.

Overall I think you two had great cooperation, sharing work in plotting and on pages themselves and it blends SEAMlessly- which few managed to pull off in this tournament. I suppose the two ending allowed each of you to carry out the comic you wanted to make as individuals but package them together neatly- and it works.

Duredel-

The introductory/premise setting meta texts set the stage and the references to your formidable battle history are helpful to those unfamiliar with your characters lore. However, this chapter of the story does little to resolve or even carry forth those threads. As a stand alone story, its lacks cues to indicate the chronological order of things and is entirely reliant upon an expansive knowledge few have of your intentions. There’s no context for the action that occurs here and were I unfamiliar with some post-apoc tropes it would be quite confusing. I’d like to know how you wrote and composed your script between your collab- as they’re very different directions.
Beautiful art, I admire your clean style and well placed tones, your figures are especially appealing and you manage a post-apoc world superbly with your constant wreckage. Your nicely spotted black/white/grey values direct the flow of the page superbly tho some panel arrangements are oddly eastern in flow.
Ledes, your own pages warrant individual crit as they’re of a different brand. Your lines and colors are sort of smudgy but your action is excellent. The mega zombie was clever, and timely, I’ve got to hand it to you. Your cinematic panels on the last few pages, for all their details are very accessible in spite of the abrupt end. For how murky your colors are alongside your detailed linework I think you could do with a more refined palette or more open linework.
Overall, while the art is great- I was a bit put off by the story and the lack of interest  in your opponents to create the conflict but you managed to advance your own plots, and its good to see you back in the game, hopefully we can see some wrap up of your character and Orphanage arcs so theres some closure. I look forward to it.

Mister Kent
Artist
958 comments
# 22   Posted: Feb 28 2013, 12:47 PM
Ledes/Dure - You made me proud to be an Orphie :D Great technique both of you--and was markedly different in the two halves they complemented each other well. Great shading and throughout, and the colors at the end were lovely. As always, monster design is the hallmark of Dure's work, and you did not disappoint here--especially with the goddess! Keep up the good work you two.

though the art Maji/Shen - Very nice use of Vanity Academy! The backstory and friendship between your characters was adorable and made sense. My favorite part was the showing of the "Satin Widow's Power" and Lilyfeather's reaction to that. The only thing that I grumbled at in the beginning was the blank faces on the background characters--which I know is a common manga technique, but be careful to overdo it. I would've even preferred very simple faces to complete blanks. I also like how you used your opponents! Very cool. Great art from both of you, and Shen I must say your stuff has notably improved! Keep it up!

Crafty
Artist
65 comments
# 21   Posted: Feb 27 2013, 03:15 PM
Whoops, double post.

Crafty
Artist
65 comments
# 20   Posted: Feb 27 2013, 03:15 PM
Both of these comics were incredibly enjoyable!
Lede87/sDuredhel: Although the text pages may have not been absolutely necessary, as someone very new to the characters, I had no problem with them, and enjoyed learning more about the world you've built. The art was lovely, especially with the design of the godess, and the story was thoroughly entertaining and exciting, and I was hooked from the first page!

Majikura/Animeshen: I did like the idea of Satin and Lilyfeather being the odd ones out in Magical Girl school, and therefore becoming friends. The art was solid, and nice and clean for the most part; and the story was quite pleasant too. The 'Choose Your Own Story'-style alternative ending was rather clever. And, man, it was not a good idea for me to read this comic whilst in class - it took all my self control not to burst out laughing throughout the gag reel. XD

Kozispoon
Artist
1211 comments
# 19   Posted: Feb 26 2013, 11:17 PM
LESDES87 & DUREDHEL- I'll admit I skipped the first three pages as I wanted to get to the actual story and not read a page of text, but after a read though, I'm not so sure were needed. I was blown away by page four though. The character design for the time goddess was OUTSTANDING. and I think you really made a good call on not using colors as your linework was very intricate and detailed. It all felt just right and a joy to look over. It really lended itself to dark and dismal which I feel enhanced your story and the atmosphere you were trying to relay. That said, I wish you'd kept that colorless look throughout, or maintained some unifying theme so that the changeover to your partners work wasn't so stark. To go from this nice bleak black and white to full on color I feel took away that spookiness that was building. I did, however enjoy the story that was told, not to mention the slick plan of attack Satin and Lilyfeather got making that badass satin zombie monster- talk about creative! The fact it came complete with hairbow was a really nice nod to your attention and appreciation to your opponents style. It's a shame that the story seemed to stop abruptly though.

 MAJIKURA & ANIMESHEN- Even only going a few pages in, I could really tell you two worked well together. Your styles compliment each others really well! I love that the story you went with was school themed. It almost felt like I was reading through a magical girl manga. After seeing Satin be such a fearless badass, it's kind of cool to see her break a sweat with someone like Lady Vanity. Not to mention Lilyfeather forging an instant friendship was incredibly adorable. It was a pleasant surprise to see Lily took the leadership role in determining how to approach Koba and Anya.
I took the attack Koba option first and was really thrown. Lilyfeather cursing? rapping, whaaaa? XD It wasn't until I saw it as a gag ending I breathed a sigh of relief and rushed over to see the real ending. The fact after that epic battle Lilyfeather was rooting around for muffin ingredients killed me. She is too cute for her own good! These two seem a VERY promising team and I hope you guys make it through!

William_Duel
Community Manager
943 comments
# 18   Posted: Feb 26 2013, 07:34 AM
Ledes/Dure: Dure you definitely continue to prove yourself as an experienced and formidable artist with your polished style.  There is definite and marked improvement over the course of your comics on Void.  I like the flow and action of your comics and the panel breaking is something I'm fond of.  I'd like to see more experiment with perspective from you though as while there are shifts and establishing shots, it all feels very 'safe'.  One thing I am really not fond of though is the super deformed Koba on page 8.  I understand that Koba is a character with a lot of whimsy in his personality but I don't feel that is the best route to represent it as that is the single silly panel in a whole comic where it never happens again.  It's jarring and takes me right out of the story.  There's no real joke being presented here so it really feels out of place to me.  

Ledes you've also grown since the time I've come to Void and you were always an artist whose comics I looked forward to.  That said I find all your figures to very long and wirey.  We could chalk it up to style but it looks to me like something that needs improvement.  The squished heads aren't really working for me either and it would be nice if you could work on giving those heads and faces more space and shape.  But the action is good and you  continue to prove yourself a capable storyteller.  I think you just need to tighten up your details.

Kura and Shen: A great combo and a great entry, the choose your own adventure style was really inventive and surprising.  The comic feels lacking though in composition because of the lack of shadows.  Obviously the characters are leaving shadow on the ground but as there is either no shadows or few on the bodies this creates an odd contrast.  The necks are a bit too long and thin or maybe the heads are too big, it's a bit hard to tell where the balance needs to be.  The backgrounds are also somewhat minimal especially in the forest-y bits but they certainly do the trick.  The flow of the action is good and easy to follow.  I love these two characters together as they complement each other very well and I look forward to seeing more of them.  This story was great for introducing not only lilyfeather but the background of Vanity's school as a thriving landmark.  

Also I randomly thought that when the Zombies were dressed like Satin that it meant they would all have Satin like abilities as 'puppeted' by her.  

Also the rap battle portion was genius and amusing.  I'm genuinely jealous of you guy's ability to craft those lyrics.  I wonder what will happen if that muffin gets baked...

Rose
Web Dev
1180 comments
# 17   Posted: Feb 26 2013, 07:15 AM
Duredhel:
 Dunno what you mean about with 'track record' though....
Quote

I'm not talking about your ability to finish a battle; I have no problems with that. I'm just referring to the fact that in the past you've started a story arc and then disappeared for months (even years, maybe? I haven't been around for most of it, so I'm just going off of what I can find in the archives). Then, when you come back, it seems like you've added stuff to your storyline that wasn't in any of the comics. That could totally just be me not reading the full archives properly or something, but that's what I was referring to anyways.

fel/P2
Artist
276 comments
# 16   Posted: Feb 26 2013, 06:57 AM
Kura/animeshen I was already liking your fight but the rap brought it home. ESPECIALLY the. Pose and expressions while they was doing it.

Ledes/dure: you 2 seem to be the main focus of this tourney,  I like the route your heading and blood bath it brings but watch out for team rock hard

Sabulive
Artist
133 comments
# 15   Posted: Feb 26 2013, 03:09 AM
MC LILLY-VANILLY'S SIDE: http://sta.sh/01v0jtg4nazk
THE SATIN WIDOW'S SIDE: http://sta.sh/030xbnrvmxk

#YOLO

PyrasTerran
Artist
1512 comments
# 14   Posted: Feb 26 2013, 12:11 AM
ledes/Duradhel: THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING.

Actually, it works surprisingly well with my prologue comic. Cool beans....


Majikura/Animeshen: The epic rap battle was beyond choice....!

Majikura
Artist
469 comments
# 13   Posted: Feb 25 2013, 09:47 PM
thank you for completely disgregarding the 280 hours of work we spent working on this.  Go orphanage!

Brilliantik
Artist
43 comments
# 12   Posted: Feb 25 2013, 09:21 PM
Orphanage FTW!!!

Pennydox
Artist
235 comments
# 11   Posted: Feb 25 2013, 04:38 PM
Dude I had to hold my breath for both of your comics because they were so long, but because they were such interesting reads, I was thinking to myself 'damn if only it was longer!' :P

Ledes87/Duredhel: I will note that I did NOT read the previous stories, because I am judging this comic as-is starting from TTT. I may have missed some part of the story, but it made very little difference in my judgement for this comic. I'm gonna say, damn that artwork is slick, smooth, beautiful. The story was very smooth too, and even though I didn't know anything about the past story, there weren't any hiccups in this one that would have made me super confused at all. The setting is incredibly beautiful, although you may want to avoid repeating the same backgrounds over and over. HOWEVER, because the lines and shading aren't complicated, and you established a unique setting, you can probably re-use those background images for the next round and nobody will notice. I feel Lilyfeather's expressions are very weak in the first half of the comic, especially when she's an emotional teenage girl. Also, I would think that this story may have been stronger if either the front half was cut out or the second half cut out or both were combined to a shorter comic. It's nice being long right here, but to me, it feels in this TTT that there are two people making two parts of a story, and submitted it in one thing (especially since the first half is mostly grayscale and the other half is so colorful). However, that could be your intention, I don't know. Also, when you're coloring, make sure the lighting is consistent. In the second half of the comic, Koba's energy sword is very intense blue, so the intense blue light should reflect on things close to it too. Also, regarding to lighting to the first half of this comic--when a comic is in greyscale, people pay attention to the shading more than if it was in color. So make sure lighting is working. For example, on page 8, koba is floating, but the shadow is so intense-because his body isn't concentrated so close to the ground, the shadow should have been lighter and more diffused, especially on page 11 when you compare the soldiers who are actually touching the surface of the ground has a much lighter shadow.

Kura/shen:  The concept was an interesting idea, like  the book 'meanwhile'. It may have been the entertainment factor that I liked the gag reel more than the other side of the story. Your pair up with the artwork is very incredible, great teamwork here! However, I did notice some panels' quality don't add up to the rest of the pages (unfinished? i'm looking at page 15).  There's a tiny hiccup on page 14 where Satin loses the glasses when she transforms; i thought the whole point of wearing them was because she had a hard time aiming her magic at enemies. And just coz Lily said that the flute was made in hell, I'll stop pointing out that flutes play notes on treble clef and not bass clef, but not like you guys care. However creative this concept was, I'm gonna have to say you might have done a better job either shortening it or combining both concepts. I'm treating this one story like three different ones, and it's kind of hard to decide how to talk about it. It's like...if you combined all three stories into a nice long one, you could have shortened it and concentrated more on the artwork quality, but with separate stories, you get two different entertainment factors as well. I'm curious to see what's next if you win this round. When you do speech bubbles, make sure the original shape is clean. It looks like you used photoshop and the  stroke option, and if you did, make sure the shape doesn't have bumps on it (because it will definitely pop out when you stick 'stroke' on the layer (example, page 24 when the bubbles have slight straight lines on the side). Also, really excellent skills in creating three different stories (I am treating the beginning as a third part) that have a completion, but still link to the first story which will start the TTT event.

congratulations on completing a bajillion awesome pages on TTT!

Duredhel
Artist
114 comments
# 10   Posted: Feb 25 2013, 10:35 AM
Great showing, Kura, Animeshen XD.
The gag reel actually made me laugh quite a bit. And Kura, as I mentioned on the chat, your line quality has increase a lot :O! I also enjoyed the background work on the first part of the comic :>

@Bobo; completely agree on a few of those things, the problem with making a continuous storyline over many comics is that people can get lost easily so I've opted for including a two or three paragraphs to summarize everything that happened before so people are not completely lost. The battle actually takes place immediately after Koba vs Arena (it even starts the same way that battle ended) but we didn't want people to have to dig for a whole other comic so... paragraph. I try my best to keep it short though, around 100 words (give or take a few) so it doesn't feel like a novel.

 Dunno what you mean about with 'track record' though.... I've defaulted once in like... 6 or 7 years...(and never with this character) and Ledes never has... we've also been working on the same storyline during all our time in void... you can go to battles of mine from 07 and follow the line straight to this one...

Anyhow, imma go critique :O we need more comments on these things.

Rose
Web Dev
1180 comments
# 9   Posted: Feb 25 2013, 07:42 AM
ledes and dure: First off, the beginning of your comic gave me the "YOU TALK TOO MUCH" reaction. I appreciate the background info, but I came here to read a comic, not a novel. The art was beautiful for both halves (although the transition threw me at first). I love the feeling of this post-apocalyptic nightmare VOID in the first half, as well as the intensity of both sides of the fight. The colors in ledes's half is beautiful (I'm a sucker for color), and Anya's transformation into Gate is intriguing. I just wish you guys were around more often, because it feels like this comic's story came out of nowhere and ended abruptly without any real closure. I'm assuming you're planning on continuing the storyline with future rounds, but I don't feel confident that the story will be wrapped up because of your track record. I hope we get to see more of you two, regardless!

Ku Ra Shen: I LOVE the interplay between Satin and Lilyfeather. I was really wondering how things would go with Satin in Lady Vanity's school, and this battle didn't disappoint! Also, the humor was spot-on, especially with Lilyfeather's extreme optimism and cheerfulness.

AND THEN I GOT TO THE GAG REEL. Okay, so your art obviously floundered a little bit, but THAT WAS HILARIOUS. I'm glad I read the real ending first, because that just made the second ending that much better. Seriously guys, I love you. That is all.

Duredhel
Artist
114 comments
# 8   Posted: Feb 24 2013, 10:45 AM
Uploaded and stuff! Hope you guys like it.

Mister Kent
Artist
958 comments
# 7   Posted: Feb 13 2013, 02:03 PM
Orphanage vs. Magical Girls! I love it :D Good luck all!

Kozispoon
Artist
1211 comments
# 6   Posted: Feb 11 2013, 08:35 PM
This is a match up that's bound to be interesting. Good luck!

Majikura
Artist
469 comments
# 5   Posted: Feb 11 2013, 12:17 PM
um....

Pennydox
Artist
235 comments
# 4   Posted: Feb 11 2013, 09:56 AM
good luck!

Wolcik
Artist
492 comments
# 3   Posted: Feb 11 2013, 09:53 AM
Very interesting, I'm all excited to see this match!!

Rose
Web Dev
1180 comments
# 2   Posted: Feb 11 2013, 08:59 AM
This is going to be beautiful. I'm screaming with joy right now. On the inside, of course.

E.W. Schneider
Artist
1070 comments
# 1   Posted: Feb 11 2013, 08:41 AM
Good luck you crazy kids!

Comic Details -

 
Tournament Match
Drawing Time: 2 weeks
Ended: Mar 3rd, 2013
Votes Cast: 53
Page Views: 3433
Winners: Majikura and Animeshen
 

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