Discharge vs. Drednaut

Discharge vs. Drednaut

by Pockets

This comic has not been rated; viewer discretion advised.

Icon for Discharge45%
294 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6

Crit level: No preference


by drawdan

This comic has not been rated; viewer discretion advised.

Icon for Drednaut55%
359 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8Page 9

Crit level: No preference




Critiques & Comments
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Heathen
Artist
462 comments
# 23   Posted: Jul 8 2017, 07:04 PM
Pockets: I see what you were going for here, but the execution was off. Definitely work on providing better context for things, more exposition, even if you have to do captions to fill in the gaps.

Drawdan: Your side kind of sputtered out st the end, because I care as much for Negatronic as our heroes do,  in that he's kind of a joke. Had you presented him as more of a threat, you'd have left me eagerly awaiting the conclusion to this battle. That said, I really like the first half of this comic. You took the time to reintroduce us to Dred, and your dialogue writing is some of the better I've seen on void. You also have a knack for drawing distinct faces. Overall, good stuff, and I hope we don't have to wait another three years for more Drednaut comics.

Pockets
Artist
21 comments
# 22   Posted: Mar 31 2017, 05:19 PM
Ditto

I am glad i had the opportunity for this battle.

Drawdan: Im happy you like my character, doing my research for your character i became a fan and i look forward to more of your comics. I like to learn from other artist, especially ones i battle, i hope some of your artiness (not a word) rubs off on me.

again thanks for the people who took the time to not only read but critique my comic, lets hope i get better.

drawdan
Artist
321 comments
# 21   Posted: Mar 30 2017, 07:34 PM
Thx Saint Goddess..the battle came to be because Discharge kicked me a challenge at a time I was looking to draw sequential art on Void again after a very long break. (over three years) I liked Discharge's character and it fit this idea I have been working on that Dreds is an old veteran Void champion that is disenchanted with a hero's life and Discharge is a young hero just starting out.
Dreds thing with Arena is not really a crush. He dated her and they broke up over several of mine and Pyras comics. Given that Dreds is an engineered being, Arena was his only real 'relationship' so its kind of stuck with him.
I appreciate the crits, the large pages are my fault. I was in a hurry tro get out the door for road trip and I missed the resize step. I think I am going to include these pages in my beyond battle at the correct size.

Animeshen
Artist
1490 comments
# 20   Posted: Mar 30 2017, 07:36 AM
I like the idea of this superhero mentorship program, i hope we see it come up again in Discharge and Dreadnaut's future comics! these are otherwsie a bit hard for me to critique, i cant very well read dan's pages with the page sizes the way they are, but the art looks very good and i think his crush on arena is cute~ i hope you keep battling, i wanna get reacquainted with dreadnaut and I love this art style! Pockets, i feel like i dont really understand whats happening in your story (for example where did that sheet come from on page 3? where did the beams come from on page 4?) i think you could have made your monstermen more monster-y since sometimes it just looked like a naked guy. i think a piece of advice i'd offer you now to try and start incorporating into future battles is to make your characters feel more like theyre in an environment than in front of a backdrop (BGs are hard i know, its a constant struggle and a common critique). i think it would sell the action more if they interacted with their environment more. just something to think about.
glad to see you guys battling! curious how this even came to be lol but happy to see it!

drawdan
Artist
321 comments
# 19   Posted: Mar 26 2017, 05:06 AM
You as well, I like your character, he was fun to draw. someone made the comment about this being a basic," two heroes take on a super villain " and that's exactly what I wanted.
I can't really add anything new to your critiques pockets. I will highlight someone else's comment that I was a little confused and had to reread a few times to understand what's going on. Are you using a script and thumb sketches? I always write out my script , dialogue and I write down the contents of the scene and action on its page. I try to answer for myself,'what's the focus of the page" and if there is context that you want to highlight a 'cheater' recap or foreword page never hurts. I agree that I needed to edit my word bubbles down in my comic and I will work on that, but I think you get what I'm getting at. Great work on the colors and very creative use of Dreds hand cannon.

Pockets
Artist
21 comments
# 18   Posted: Mar 25 2017, 10:48 PM
cool cool, i will take the critiques into consideration and hopefully get better for next time.

drawdan your comic was great, i liked it a lot

drawdan
Artist
321 comments
# 17   Posted: Mar 25 2017, 07:25 AM
All good, Ill make sure to resize my part 2 beyond battle, thx.

And just to clarify to everyone, these are NOT continuations comics. Pockets and I drew two different stories.

PyrasTerran
Artist
1512 comments
# 16   Posted: Mar 24 2017, 07:17 PM
drawdan: no resized pages can be added at this point, sorry

Reecer6
Artist
365 comments
# 15   Posted: Mar 24 2017, 05:18 PM
Pockets: Man, am I supposed to know who this Gollumy, Chai-from-Shenmue guy is? Because I get starting in media res, but this is a bit too much. This sort of weird dude NEEDS an explanation. It seems weird if you planned this to be a conclusion to Drawdan's comic, because Drednaut should already be involved, and that's totally not what his villain dude looks or acts like? But in terms of overall narrative it really would make sense? ??????????????????

There's a lot of dialogue between Discharge and Drednaut we're missing here, basically, which feels essential to the whole setup. Also, the physical locations of everything are very confusing, as well as the continuity between actions. Like, on page 4, I understand what happens is he shoots some pipes to cause them to fall on the dude, but what then do panels 2 and 3 *mean*? Why does he just... kill a man? This whole comic is just very arcane to me, and I swear I HAVE to be missing something here.

------

Drawdan (is it lowercase? can i call you just dan? you're a super old school voider how do i act): Oh noooooooo huge paaaaaages that aren't even that high reeeeeesssssss (thanks for the recap tho)

Looking back at a few of your comics, it looks like pure black-and-white is a new venture on Void for you, and this basic sort of inking really adds a lot to your style, cleaning it up! Your expressions also look noticeably better and natural, I think, but there did seem to be a disproportionately large amount of neutral faces where you could've mixed them up. I feel like this also didn't explain really enough about the situation—mainly, his whole transformy thing? Why was he just a normal dude before? I also have a minor peeve with how, on the top of page 6, Drednaut's tone dramatically changes within the same speech bubble with nothing to demarcate it. Like, surely, that should get at least a single small close-up panel of his pain, so I don't have to imagine him saying it with his :| face? But other than those, it's reasonably solid, even if superheroes beating up supervillains isn't the most inventive plot out there (but that's fine, we haven't seen very many simple brawls recently)!

drawdan
Artist
321 comments
# 14   Posted: Mar 24 2017, 04:47 PM
I can work on resizing my images and resubmitting them tonight from my hotel,..in my rush to get out of the door I didnt resize them and I see what you are talking about. They are loading really slowly. Let me know if i can actually do that.

drawdan
Artist
321 comments
# 13   Posted: Mar 24 2017, 04:45 PM
And yes Pyras...Arena has always been a fav of mine. I welcome a colab story/battle anytime:)

drawdan
Artist
321 comments
# 12   Posted: Mar 24 2017, 04:43 PM
I understand where you might think that, but there is actually a second part to my comic that is already thumbed. and am inking now.

Thanks for the crit Pyras, I will work on that.

PyrasTerran
Artist
1512 comments
# 11   Posted: Mar 24 2017, 04:02 PM
A warm welcome back to the both of you

I feel like this was supposed to be a 2-part battle, where Dred's part is 1st and Discharge's is 2nd? Happy coincidence? Cause if intentional obviously there was something lost in translation as far as what they were fighting

Pockets: It's cool to see you going out of your comfort zone with some of the characters here. Some of the choreography gets lost though, I had to reread to fully understand what was happening between some of the panels, remember to keep clear sequencing in mind. One really powerful tool you should look into is showing your early work to trusted proofreaders; if they have trouble following what is happening then take that as a sign to fix a sequence

drawdan: Well it looks like we gotta battle again!
I'm digging Dred's new Jason Momoa look going on. The big thing that I notice right away is that these pages are *huge*, and being so big shows off the flaws even greater than otherwise. Keep your pages no wider than 1100px! There's alot of classic oldschool feel to this story which makes sense given your grand hiatus, but the strength of the visuals are undermined by a bit too much dialogue; many of these word bubbles could be compressed with faster snappier dialogue to help speed things up. Don't be afraid to find some proofreaders of your own to help you during the drawing period to help build a better comic by the end

I hope to see more from you guys sooner rather than later

Red
Council
703 comments
# 10   Posted: Mar 24 2017, 10:33 AM
Oh, well I'll post this early then if you guys are all done!

Pockets
Artist
21 comments
# 9   Posted: Mar 24 2017, 10:24 AM
cool, mines up too

drawdan
Artist
321 comments
# 8   Posted: Mar 23 2017, 10:43 AM
Im uploading today because I have to make an unexpected trip out of town.

drawdan
Artist
321 comments
# 7   Posted: Mar 12 2017, 10:29 PM
Cool, I also will not be drawing Dreds in his traditional outfit. Since he has been out of the hero game he would be dressing like a reg dude. Think t-shirts/ wife beater, jeans, work boots, and maybe a flannel.

Pockets
Artist
21 comments
# 6   Posted: Mar 12 2017, 08:30 PM
Glad i can help, excited for the battle. Okay i worked what you got here into the comic. I updated Discharge's bio but to give a brief explanation He is a young hero still learning the ropes, goes to a prep school (Void Academy) I try to add teacher student moments when battling hero characters. yeah so using Discharge any way you like is cool with me. I also decided to use this comic as a preview for a character i am planning to submit soon.

Let's have fun with this :)

drawdan
Artist
321 comments
# 5   Posted: Mar 12 2017, 12:26 PM
Thanks for the challenge Pockets, I ve been interested in starting back at sequentials after a LONG break. Ive had two other artists challenge my the past few weeks but when I accepted, they backed out. Just a heads up, Dreds has been out of commission for close to three years, I will update his backstory but he has been disenchanted with hero life and living a life of a common guy all this time. He has been hunkered down in a shitty apartment and working on a construction site. I am going to draw him with his long dreadlocks grown back out (look at some of his early fights before he shaved his head)
 and a full beard. You are welcome to do the same.

PyrasTerran
Artist
1512 comments
# 4   Posted: Mar 12 2017, 10:21 AM
yes good.

JCee
Artist
424 comments
# 3   Posted: Mar 12 2017, 03:04 AM
SWEEEEEEEET!!

Animeshen
Artist
1490 comments
# 2   Posted: Mar 12 2017, 01:45 AM
RAAAAAAAD

Radji
Artist
623 comments
# 1   Posted: Mar 12 2017, 01:44 AM
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAH

Comic Details -

 
Regular Match
Drawing Time: 2 weeks
Ended: Mar 30th, 2017
Votes Cast: 19
Page Views: 1748
Winner: drawdan
 

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