Sorry to be late for the critiques. I thought both were OK, but there's a lot that needs some work.


Mr no it aull: Not bad, the build up was nice, but the art was really lacking here, it was very empty to say the least, you had some good designs on the zombies, but the textures have got to go, and you need to use just one font for your comics. The text ain't bad mind you, I could read it. However, I think it just doesn't look good in a comic, you need a more comic oriented text here, you need to work on your backgrounds and details, and seriously, ditch the textures and find a better font.

Aside from that, the story was OK with me, I liked how you used Dr. Pye and the month of the dead in your story, art still kills it though.



Coldstream: Not bad, I think this is a step up from Draxx as DC is a bit more likable and a bit more solid in terms of personality. I do think you've got too much of a Frank Miller influence in your comics, mainly with women, and that's not a very good thing. I know that there are some women out there that's like that, but it's like you're drawing the same women over and over again in each comic you present. Try getting some influences from comics like Ghost World, or hit up Mrs. Stokoe for some advice on women characters as that would really help in the long run in terms of developing real and believable characters.

As I said, DC is developing nicely, the art is fine, a lot less anatomy hiccups, but I think the watercolors are a bit unfitting of your dark style, they're very light and don't set the mood properly in certain panels, try reading through http://drmcninja.com  for some great examples of using coloring for mood and whatnot, also it's an amazing comic.



Overall these were good, just not really my cup of tea. Vote went to Coldstream for quality and character development.

Wol, my man I did change ti but I accidentally uploaded the the initial page.
forgive me

I see you were working pretty close on thise one. Both of you have W-Warriors in it XD
Corry, you said you fixed the "Wolcik" part.

Cold, I know that every artist can defend himself with "style", but I think that all your characters suffer from proportion issues from time to time. It hurst more when the style looks like based on real life source more than imagination (the same goes to Corry).

Though both were entertaining, Corry your stuff was a little wordy. I like your usage of grammar and large words that only you would think of placing in a comic, but this time it took away from the action cause I was too busy trying to blend the two together. It was like a dramatic batman inner monologue mixed with a kinda spider-man voice dialog. It was a bit much. Other than that good stuff.

Cold- It was light hearted and kinda funny, but it seemed like childs play for you. I'm use to more raunchy talk and engaging fight scenes. You really dialed it back and I guess I didn't get it cause I was expecting something more epic from the teacher student battle. But hey that's just my opinion.

Good work

Yeah as far as the extra time, I suffered the wrath of a trial based CS3 so by the time he extended the battle, I was without the program (violin music). As far as the spell check yeah, I def didn't know until it was too late. I was done long before the initial deadline and couldn't go back. But I wont cheat on the mail next time, Babylon.

William- I would like to develop more back story to reveal his motive... maybe a BeyondBattle!!

HUNDREDS AND JEDIS FTW!!!

Corry it's "Concha de Tu Madre" not conchetumare, that's just gibberish.  But anyways I think your interpretation of squire was interesting.  While Coldstream always plays up the comic aspect, you gave him a few extra quirks and his voice became more real, though some might say it borders or lands smack dab in the middle of stereotype country.  But that shits okay with me because I've heard people speak like that more often than not.  And hey look it's Superman!  Sorry the colors made me think that.

But all that shit aside, I liked how complete this entry was.  You always have rather strong pencils but your comics usually have an incomplete look, so this was nice.  This was a full comic with clear storytelling.  Kudos.  Anatomy is a little off in some places like when Corry is hanging from the tree, and when he first starts choking the gorilla zombie before kicking it's neck off it's a rather unclear panel.  My first impression was that he grabbed a rock and smashed the zombie, but  then I realized that was the head.  It's kinda hanging in space too much.  I think your shading could be darker in some places but at times I like the subtlety of it.

Coldstream, I thought it was interesting how you told the same story but from your character's colorful storytelling.  It's a good thing you took the extra time and delivered a complete product.  Nut ya know, aside from these comics with comedic leanings, I'm kinda not understanding your character's motivation.  What's his deal?  Maybe I'd like to see more of that.  Cuz I'm not sure what he gained by going out and shooting zombies.  Just my two cents.  But hey I liked the art.  

hahahhaa "four play"

uploaded... finally!!

water coloring commencing!!!!

might need to extend... lotsa stuff been going on!!

wow, this is gonna be awesome!

Wherever your heart desires, sir!

Really not sure where I'm going with this story!!!

Hmm will the student surpass his master...?

Can't wait to see this one