KameStudio - First off, as you already know, I love your comic. I mistook Britta for a somewhat antisocial stiff that had an agenda and the ability to fight, when in fact she is an incredible badass that gives very few fucks. Even cauterizing her wound and resuming her asskicking session, and all the while remaining her apparent bubbly self, that was cool. I love characters like that! You had a nice handle and understanding of my character's personalities as well! The only thing that seemed somewhat out of character upon reading this was Gonta leaving Seth all alone to wonder for him. But, I'm sure he didn't go too far. XD

The only art-related thing I encourage you to work on, which hasn't been suggested already is just your consistency when it comes to faces and proportions. Mainly faces though. You made me realize that when done perfect, like Seth for example on page-3-panel-4, and page-4-panel-5, our art styles can mesh incredibly well together. Seth looks absolutely great in those panels, but with every panel as the comic goes on, the shapes and position of his facial features and even his hair gets a bit scrambled around. The way I solve this is to go back to a good drawing of the character I've done that I like the best and try my hardest to reference EVERY little detail of the face that I can possibly conceive, and just carry it on in drawings there onward. Seth in page-7-panel-4 looks like an entirely different style and character almost! In terms of the facial features that is. As an artist that has always paid close attention to expression and facial features, I find it important to try your hardest to match a character's head shape, eye size and position, pupil size, nose size and position, style lineweight, etc. consistent in every panel/frame as the angles change, and try to base it all off of one drawing of the character that you made and you like, instead of re-interpreting the character in your style every time you draw him/her, know what I mean? In this case referencing your own drawing becomes important.

Gonta and Britta on the other hand were done pretty well, they stayed consistent for the most part. Gonta especially, that was impressive, you nailed him! Great comic overall!

adoROBle: Thanks for the kind words! Haha, yes, I was totally put out of my comfort zone(which shouldn't even be a thing) with some of these poses and angles, I tried to keep them as consistent as possible, but alas I guess I came short. I can see why you'd find that pose a little wonky.

PyrasTerran: A very valid critique, this is a special case though cause in this instance I really wanted to shine some exposition on Seth's current state of mind and living, since It was not apparent up to this point that he was homeless, I just wanted to make sure nobody got the wrong impression. And trust me, that wall of text was the result of me cutting a lot out as it was! Haha I see what you're saying though, I'm sure what Seth was saying could've seemed a bit forced and even on the sly side... I should've been a little less "spell-it-out with it. As for Brittas monologue, that was another special case only because her and Seth only exchange ONE line! hahah, so I felt it was necessary to sort of make her talk to herself some so It didn't seem like I was trying to slide by with a husk of a character that never talks more than once. You never know what you're gonna receive flak for on this site! Haha, there is some I could have done without though I'm sure. Thanks for the critique man! This is probably the most monologue-heavy comic I've ever done, it will most likely be the last though.

Kaiser Spoon: Thank you for the kind words! Making my comics and universes not in-a-vaccum is something I'm very conscious about, so it makes me feel good that you think I handled that well, I was really trying! Haha!

I really wish I was more clever with interjected humor in times like that, that's very well something I may have done had I thought about it. It really wasn't even meant to be a tearjerker moment. The only humor I'm considerably "good" at is blatant crude humor like with the principal and such. As for the fight with the hobo, oh my! Haha, I certainly didn't mean to make anyone uncomfortable, I tried to make it pretty clear from the get go that even though he is a hobo, he's a total scumbag and he gets what's coming to him! Great critque though, I need more humorous inspirations for comics like these, clever humor like that is not something that comes natural to me since I'm apparently drawn to sadness and tragedy. I'll take that to heart though! XD

Once again, thanks for the critiques everyone, keep em' coming!

I'll agree with Pyras that both these comics were on the Saturday morning cartoon side, but neither of them really had that oomph to make me do a spit take and settle in to watch the show. They just...were there. I expected some zest and zeal, but all I taste is rice cake.

PARIMAK- I am loooivng your varied angles  for the city and your building fronts. If there's one thing to be said about your comics its that your fighter lives in a universe and isn't battling in a vacuum. I'll also agree that the dialogue was rather heavy handed. Also, your tear jerking moments where Seth recites his sob story seemed like a missed opportunity for some humor. It would've been funny to see Britta wrestle with the guilt and try to justify her actions, only to have them shot down by Seth's monologue. It definitely would've punched up the whole scene. To be perfectly frank, you had a great deal of opportunities to inject some humor into this comic I feel were missed. I mean a fight with a hobo? That could've been hilarious, but it was taken so seriously, it was a little uncomfortable to watch a capable void fighter take out a homeless guy who's just struggling to make it day to day.

KAME- All in all not a bad first battle! You definitely made the most of your month deadline. I'll echo what was said beofre- don't let the critiques get ya down! They may seem harsh, but we hurt cuz we love and wanna see you improve.
 I was wondering how Britta was going to crush and conquer. Haha, its too bad she can't catch a break- much less lunch. I am rather underwhelmed with collision on the bottom of page 4., Why is the crash off to the side? Small and out of the way to boot. Really own that panel and make that crash epic!
I'm all about suspension of belief, especially in a place fulla fantastical creatures like void, but Britta is feeling a little overly OP with cauterizing her own gunshot wounds and immediately getting into a rumble. Granted, dodging bullets and taking down two guys may be just as equally improbable, so perhaps I should just suspend my disbelief?

Great critiques so far! I very much appreciate it! I agree with everything. Hopefully my next battle will be a little more on grittier side. I don't usually do light hearted stories so I thought I would put a spin on it this time!

Hi guys I got a particular critique for both of you

I think it would have been a more compelling story if Britta screws over Seth, with no change of action. Don't you?

The plots here are a tad on the Saturday morning side

Parimak, for as a simple a story as it was, there was way way too much talking. Example, top panel of page 7, that whole monologue Britta gives is completely unnecessary, we can already tell she's internally conflicted by her expression. And the only reason for Seth to be bleeding his entire situation to Gonta is for the sake of Britta listening in to have her change of heart, because Gonta would already know all this from context. You could have told the same story with no monologuing from Britta or Seth for pages 6-7, 12-13, and it would have been better.

You coulda taken it an even better step forward, IMO, by having Britta see all this and still not give him back his money. Because life is like that.

Don't lose heart, guys; you're here to learn to become better storytellers, so take these critiques and apply them to future stories so you can level up as comic artists!

Kame - The unfinished background colors look sloppy. The backgrounds themselves look slapped in and unfinished. Such great detail in the ground with the stone walkway and then weirdly shaded geometric shapes in the backgrounds, not awesome. The flat color with fuzzy cell shading on the character also clashes with the painterly attempted style of the background. The faces look really similar. Page two would have benefited from an establishing shot with both Britta and Gonta in the same panel. I had no idea that Gonta stole the food, or that the bag was food or that that the bag belonged to Britta. First panel on page 6, some issues with construction. Page 13, you spelled question with two "t"s.  Generally, I'm impressed with the length, but there were a lot of shots where things could happen that you just did a face, skipped action altogether, and you need more establishing shots. It was sort of meh for me. I suggest expanding your box outside of anime cliche a bit, especially with faces and character expressions. Have you read "Paranatural"? Go check out Paranatural.

Parimak - I like the lighter lines for effect, like the scuffs on the beatup car, and smoke puffs and such, but not so much for actual bits of background, like sidewalk and buildings. Your backgrounds are pretty, some of your character proportions and some of the poses seem a bit weird, it's the most obvious on page 14, panel 2. The dialogue was has way too much exposition- telling instead of showing, and the kid character is such a MarySue that I wanted to slap him.

I am looking forward to this! Should be awesome!

I added 2 more pages and made most of my edits, should be ready by tonight!

I'm all uploaded! Good luck Nathan! Looking forward to seeing yours!

Great to see you back in the ring Parimak! Welcome back to the void!

Good luck to the both of you! Looking forward the comics!

Whoa, a return to battle almost a year later! Cool to see you back! And good luck on your first battle, Kame Studio!

ah, this will be a cute battle, Im ready!