Redemption Match: Monsters

Redemption Match: Monsters

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by Ahmed

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by Gregly

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by Sean

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Critiques & Comments
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Kuro
Artist
581 comments
# 34   Posted: Mar 25 2015, 11:51 AM
Sorry, I started reading these when voting was happening, had crits for about half & then had to take a freelance thing that came in over the weekend & didn't get a chance to come back & finish.

Wei- WTF, dude? It looked like it was shaping up alright though. Keep on it maybe for the hell of it.

Ahmed- Like Wei was saying, "How to Get Ahead in Advertising" immediately sprung to mind. Ultimately I think I liked the "uninked" stuff better because the one line width thing wasn't working for me in the beginning in amongst the sea of halftones.

Greg- nice job. it thought areas with hatching & gradients were a little redundant & the changing the style of the colors was neat but could've used a little extra bit of oomph to really push the fact. Either by going starker or by changing the hue a little.

Bent- Strongest I think I may've seen from you. But it's still not a story, just a set up. And still it seems like you're working super small.

kent- what i told wei, you're off to a nice start here & a little extra time put in would make this a good comic. maybe just finish it up for the hell of it. overall it looked like you were heading a good direction.

sean- not bad. your bg's need some more work & look into getting an ames tool or something, because i think it might help make your text just a bit more easy to read. there were a few instances where it was a little strange how things extended in & out of the panels, a little like you're drawing for the panel. look out & try to avoid that.

Sorry I got back to this so much after the fact!


Ahmed
Artist
29 comments
# 33   Posted: Mar 20 2015, 11:59 PM
Shieeet, this was fun you guys. Lesss do it again in a couple months yeah? Winner chooses theme? Can't choose 'Cock' though, we already did that!

Wei Ingnan
Artist
597 comments
# 32   Posted: Mar 20 2015, 10:26 PM
OK time to re-pay the effort made by my peers here...and I am a bit dismayed that there hasn't been as much response for them from the rest of the community as even other comics recently or currently posted..

..and for my part in the penile insurrection I was only following the design of the character from the Evo Art Jam...which actually now that I think about it also had Sean partially to blame.


WEI: you suck so hard....you dropped this ball so hard it looks like you never had it in your hands in the first place...how can anyone take anything you say seriously?..I had better see this posted as a BB you talentless blowhard hack

AHMED: i liked where this was headed and enjoyed the homage to 'How to Get Ahead in Advertising'...there was a good sense of story and certainly had a healthy helping of  energy and fun....but more effort and time was needed on this based on your previous default and this imporved but still lacking effort I would suggest that time management is one of your greatest weaknesses...it really starts to fall apart halfway thru where alongside your rendering even the screentones become a stopgap measure instead of a artistic choice so I would have to score you lower on quality even while giving you a nod for entertainment...as for the creativity I think more time given would have provided you more chances at making this more than a simple and rushed telling of an otherwise clever idea.

GREGLY: overall a really good job on your part....this was a cohesive story and you told it well deserving of consideration for creativity and entertainment...continue this level of storytelling and design and work on your drawing skills and keep expanding that sense of layout and design....then you will really be kicking ass....i hope you are as pleased with this effort as I was and I am personally giving you the win on this one.

BenT: as we have already both discussed...time management and you need to be on much better terms and this comic is a perfect example of that.....this is a great start but it just isn't finished in any sense and that costs you major points in each category...which is a shame because there is a lot of potential in this....you have a reasonably well rendered and well laid out story here that isn't polished and has no proper ending...I suggest you do what I am doing and decide that this is somthing that gives me pleasure and that I want to get better at...so I have to make an effort to do it and do it properly..... that means giving less time to less important things.
You and I need to focus less on deadline and more on finishing somthing at this point whether it is this particular comic or another BB regardless of how long it takes while prioritizing our activities and how we go about them.

KENT: I am sorry it happened but I knew it had to happen eventually....you simply overextended yourself, superstar.....and I say that without any malice or sarcasm....what is here is great and even better in many respects than some of your other more complete efforts( so I would otherwise give you higher scores for quality and creativity)I especially like the cleaner smoother lines...increased black work and was very fond of the panel work in the last two pages.... but clearly as an entry on its own it doesn't stand up and would be taking a hit on points across especially for entertainment due to an unfinished story as well as an unfinished entry....even if I know that it is due to how many things I know you are currently doing and I am sure many others I do not

.....and clearly you did not get the GET ON THE COCK memo so i would also be scoring you even lower on entertainment(this is sarcasm)

P.C. SEAN: again I hope you are as pleased with this entry as I was...this is a strong effort from you and I would like to see more of this level and beyond from you...I would have scored you well for entertainment and creativity for your particular sense of fun and you particular style but would have also given you more than I have in the past for Quality..... this is a step up for you overall..keep at it..

you would also have gotten an extra point for 'I have a VCR' I am old enough to have actually seen this work in a bar and lame enough to have been in a bar where this would work.

SLAGGLE: what happened?...you said you would love to get in on this and then you dropped off the face of VOID

Sean P. K. : same deal....what happened?











DEDieckmann (SkullcapComix)
Artist
463 comments
# 31   Posted: Mar 20 2015, 02:11 PM
I feel like this whole event should have been called "Everyone draws as many penises as possible for some reason"...? I think overall, a lot of you could have gone for less shock value or whatever and worked more on actual content, it seemed to be missing from many of these entries... not to seem harsh or anything, I just didn't get the point of many of these?

Wei - Sorry you couldn't finish, dude. Sort of ironic I guess, but oh well. I think you had some good angles and panels happening there, I onloy with they had been finished. Maybe next time, less detailed penises will allow more time to finish the drawings themselves? ;-)

Ahmed - This reminded me of a Sheldon comic (or all of them, I guess). I laughed, but I also felt like a lot of the jokes were recycled Army of Darkness/Family Guy/ other stuff. That could be just me, I've seen a lot of stuff where people grow small monsters/twins off of themselves. I wish the art had been more consistent, but I think you and GregSmith had the best two entries, as far as being complete stories without entire panels/pages missing. So congrats for that, and keep it up.

GregSmith - Good work. I think the art could have been a bit more polished, especially towards the end, and I think the plot could have been gone into a bit further as far as the monster and it's origins, but I still liked it. It was a cute little monster story, and it was nice to see one with a monster who wasn't evil and waving it's privates around everywhere for no reason. Nice job!

That Crooked Individual - I have to say I was pretty disappointed, and that was because you had such a great start. I really liked the art and the black and white, and the overall feel of the comic. It worked even with no text, you still knew what was happening. However, the sudden ending right when it starts to get good really was a turn off, I wish you had been able to finish more of this. Hopefully we'll see more from you like this in the future, and with completed stories. :-)

Mister Kent - Well, I think I SORT of grasped what was happening here, as far as the "support group" is concerned, however I wasn't too sure what was happening in the flashback part with the dead guy on the ground, or why they were dead, or what the entire setup was. I really wish this had had any sort of lettering whatsoever.... Hopefully next time you can finish more, because this would not have been bad I think had I been able to tell more of what was happening. It did seem interesting other than that.

Peddling Commoner Sean - I don't really know what to say about this.... the art was alright, even reminded me a lot of Hiemie's art when it came to the monsters sitting at the table with the main character.... however aside from that, I am sort of lost as to what was actually happening here. Guy is in a monster night club... for some reason? He's human and allowed in, but they don;t want him there... for some reason? I just wish there had been more of an explanation. When making comics on Void, you have to sort of assume at times that not everyone will know what you are thinking, so if there additional details that can help a story be more complete on it's own, it helps a lot to include those. Was the dude dead? in Hell? I don't know, and I wish I did.

Slaggle and Sean Patrick Kelly - Really wish there had been entries here... there weren't though so I can't say much other than hopefully you can turn this around on your next go. I know better than most that things do come up, time management isn't easy all the time, and all that... but in a redemption comic entry.... it really hurts to have nothing turned in at all. Hopefully we see some entries from you two in the future, and soon! Gotta get back in the game!

Puzzlething
Artist
457 comments
# 30   Posted: Mar 17 2015, 09:16 PM
Wei              -

            aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHH


Ahmed         -

              I liked yours alot dude, it was funny and straitforward, and really worked in the length you gave it. I think you could've replaced some of the cliche lines with other jokes, because you're totally a funny writer, and I think stuff like "pain in the neck" and the "quit you" line just take up room without getting a big laugh.


Gregly               -

                   Ahhhh, I really liked this one! It was so cute, I really loved the stove monster! I also think it's super impressive how many panels you used on every page, and yet it never felt cluttered or difficult to read. Such a great comic!


Bent                 -

              I also think the scribbled blacks get a little busy, it would've been nice to have some spots of solid black, as well as some spots of solid white. The scribbled hatching in the black shadows looks really good in that last panel, since it's all vertical and makes it feel like the background is vibrating. Almost like there's some huge bass-y noise. It would've been super cool if you have brought that vertical hatching into the whole drawing that panel.

 The comic totally works as a wordless comic, in fact I actually think adding words would make it worse.


Kent               -

               Dang I'm really into this, I don't even know why. It's so cryptic and weird. Like, I wanna see the actual words and at the same time it's so cool without it? I really like the art too dude, something feels really nice about your lines. Maybe it's just that you're still really comfortable with trad lines?


Sean                  -

                Ahhh awesome dude! I didn't see where you said you scanned it twice, so maybe it was in the chat or something. That's actually pretty normal I think? I know that people do watercolour comics by scanning the painting and lines separately. Back when Red was doing alot of marker comics, I THINK she would scan the inks into the computer, print them out, marker over the print-outs, then scan it back in and combine them both.

              Also, don't be afraid to colour up to the lines! Besides that it was a great complete comic, I really hope you do try more cool stuff with angles and shots, because that down at the feet panel was really good.


Slaggle               -

                  noooooooooo i wanted more slagglle comics so badly T-T


Sean Patrick Kelly           -

                               ;_;

Fearn
Artist
366 comments
# 29   Posted: Mar 15 2015, 06:21 AM
ok so

Wei: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Ahmed: Whaaa totally love your story! The art is lacking a bit for me on the background front but I think storywise yours is my favorite. :)

Gregly: SO CUTE. Like omg. I love that yours is the only one that hasn't gone down the dark path. It's such a sweet story! And yours is definitely the bestest on the art front.

Bent: Dude, don't beat yourself up too much! It looks pretty finished to me and I really really like the style and what you accomplished in the story (though I agree woth other folk about the sketches from underneath). Like I think it's so much harder to have something that feels complete in 3 pages than in longer page count and your thing is supercool and supercreepy and probably illegal in some countries (I think Germany does not like the depiction of children dying or something). Awesome! ;)

Kent: Ahhhh I really wish it actually had text as I can see there is a story but what is it? Are they in like a therapy group or what? ;)

Sean: pretty funny but also such saaaaaad ending ;_; Poor Stanley... Also I can't believe what you did with lining up the "good inks" on top of the markered pages. Tough I see at least one place where it is slightly off. I think it's a pretty tough thing to do and like would never attempt to do that myself :P Like I think I would find it too big pain in the ass... I there are other ways of making your lines jet black when you scan a tonal image without altering other tones (I can think of at least three on top of my head) but I don't think I will be writing this essay here now. But I can wite it sometime if you would ever like to read it :P

THEMED COMICS challenge etc: these are an awesome thing to do. I have been doing like a monthly thing with my friends for a little while and it is always really interesting how differently people approach it. Also makes you excercise the grey matter, while having a topic can kickstart thought process ;) We did a childhood themed art battle with Nibbles shortly after Black and Blue (we were hungry for more), but she defaulted and apparenly noone read it anyway :P

Wei Ingnan
Artist
597 comments
# 28   Posted: Mar 14 2015, 05:55 PM
Having come full circle I can't see it going much farther Charlie; and it always seemed to be a much bigger deal for everyone else than for the people who actually had this particular scarlet letter stitched to their blouse.

Themed matches of any kind are awesome and Artist matches especially so...more people should do them more often... even better when anything goes or extra material like from an art jam are added.....just doing this twice now and we have gotten some great results from a number of people who weren't concerned with character cameos or fan service(which has its place)...I am happy to see someone else appreciate that and this type of match.

As for Kent's pages, I am pretty sure those are exactly what he submitted and the rest is just a glitch...but I will speak with him...and get it fixed as needed.

Charlie
Artist
731 comments
# 27   Posted: Mar 14 2015, 02:37 PM
Wei - Knowing the bite of being out of practice, I still think its good that you turned something in! Gonna repeat back to you what you said to me, take your time and make comics.

Ahmed - yours made me laugh. It was simple in its execution but still entertaining. I liked it. Its too bad the inks didn't continue all the way through but it was still legible enough.

Greg- I really liked this comic too. Very simple but told a nice little complete tale. Art was nice too!

BenT- I almost feel like this stood alone on its own however much it might not seem like it. I think the absense of text in this case actually worked in your favour since it seemed intentional and kinda left the ending with an ominous open end. Either he makes it our the monster chews him up. Sure it'd have been nice to see more pages but for whats there I 'got it' enough that it still felt resolved. The sketches underneath the lineart look though clashes. I'd remove 'em.

Kent - I didn't read yours yet because the first two pages are showing as image broken on my screen :(. I want to see the whole thing...if it fixes itself I'll definitely give it my two cents!

Sean - boobs.

Also cool comic and also cocks.

As an aside ... the Dumb Baby thing was a bit funny at first but I'm not sure if it is necessarily the best thing anymore. I get the point of it but at the same time while I think while its good to point out "hey I fucked up" I'm not sure rubbing more salt in the wounds when you already realize that mistake is necessarily going to help motivate. We've all been there, we've all been dumb babies. I just don't see the point.

More artist matches like these however would be really cool. I like seeing the variety artists are bringing to the table without being tied to specific VOID characters and lore. It felt to me like there was a lot more variety in here in the different stories than what I normally see in a match. Whether or not it continue as redemption matches, the idea of these regular artist matches is something that really appeals to me and I'd love to see it continue on.

Fearn
Artist
366 comments
# 26   Posted: Mar 14 2015, 01:47 PM
Peddling Commoner Sean:
But man these comix have A LOT of cock. Like did we subconsciously change the theme to involve penis? Good work everyone who participated. Except the defaulters, that stinks on a redemption match. Let's do this again soon? Maybe bi-monthly?
Quote

I am up for the bi monthly cock challenge

Though if you wanna do this more often you can maybe GET A NEW CHARACTER IN

Sean
Artist
382 comments
# 25   Posted: Mar 14 2015, 01:10 PM
sean, you did it! I'm so happy, this is looking good. I'd suggest applying your markers more evenly, putting marker down in small circles would avoid the streaks. I really like the downward shot of his feet! some of the other shots where they're cut off at the hips or other weird places look kinda awkward though. ya done good though.
Quote

Thanks Neens! I'll definitely try that out with my next comic. I definitely want to get more interesting angles in panels next go around. Every comic is something new for me. I am pleased with this though. I just gotta get better at Photoshop too haha.

But man these comix have A LOT of cock. Like did we subconsciously change the theme to involve penis? Good work everyone who participated. Except the defaulters, that stinks on a redemption match. Let's do this again soon? Maybe bi-monthly?

Wei Ingnan
Artist
597 comments
# 24   Posted: Mar 14 2015, 10:55 AM
there was a consequence and only for me in this instance....if I defaulted....i didn't default even if only barely.

Wei Ingnan:  there was to be no punishment for defaulting for everyone taking part... except me.

Any entries that are considered a default will not result in a change in status(unless its mine of course)
Quote

..but just to show good sportmanship and how little a thing like a forum title or images actually matters(and how easy it is to work to have it removed) I'll ask Kevin to slap it on me and change my pic...it doesn't really change the outcome for me in any way nor should it.....despite having a lot of serious life altering crap going on and around me I managed to do somthing however poor the result...I still somewhat succeeded where I succeeded and failed stpendously where I failed and have hopefully learned or re-learned a little bit from both.

The Bent One
Artist
564 comments
# 23   Posted: Mar 14 2015, 10:45 AM
Wei Ingnan:
Just hafta remember that I am at a stage again where making a bad comic is very preferable to not making a comic.
Quote

You and me both.

I actually fucked up so hard on this that I had to scrap the original comic I was planning and write a minumum level entry comic just to I could get it done in time. I waited till the last 2 days to even draw it and I finished the last page 10 minutes before deadline.

I'm actually going to be stepping back and re-training myself to do daily art practice and drawing, so I might not be taking one any projects like this for several months.

Still, this was a great exercise and I learned a lot about visual storytelling from it.

Btw, did you do thumbnails for your pages? It almost looks like you were drawing them straight on the page at full size.

Duchess Neens:
bent, not shabby! I would actually like to see a conclusion to it. and it looks like your underlying sketches are still there? it's a little thing cause they aren't terribly noticeable but take em out next time! I'd also like more solid black, but overall it's solid.
Quote

Thanks! I actually have the thumbnail for the last page, but I ran out of time to draw it. I also left the pencils in under the inks because it looks too rough without them and I didn't have time to shade everything to fix it. That's what I get for not working on this until the last minute.

Now I'm going to go back to sleep until Monday.

neens
Approval Committee
266 comments
# 22   Posted: Mar 14 2015, 10:44 AM
AN ENTIRE MONTH!!!

wei, I like that you waited to do something in a consequence free environment, instead of the first one ;o

ahmed, I like yours a lot! the roughs at the end are still pretty clean, and I didn't notice at first that it had switched from the inks to the pencils. it was funny, and simple! good work.

greg, I love yours. is this based on a folktale or something? it's very charming! the characters are all very wonderful too, I hope every future comic from you can look like this one ;3;

bent, not shabby! I would actually like to see a conclusion to it. and it looks like your underlying sketches are still there? it's a little thing cause they aren't terribly noticeable but take em out next time! I'd also like more solid black, but overall it's solid.

kent waah, I wanna know more about this one ; ; I take it there was supposed to be dialogue? I'm also curious about the 2 broken images.. was that just an error in uploading, or was there supposed to be a 6 page count on this 3-5 page challenge?

sean, you did it! I'm so happy, this is looking good. I'd suggest applying your markers more evenly, putting marker down in small circles would avoid the streaks. I really like the downward shot of his feet! some of the other shots where they're cut off at the hips or other weird places look kinda awkward though. ya done good though.

Fearn
Artist
366 comments
# 21   Posted: Mar 14 2015, 10:12 AM
Surely causing this level of disappointment requires a title similar to Dumb Baby.

Wei Ingnan
Artist
597 comments
# 20   Posted: Mar 14 2015, 09:57 AM
yup...no redemption for Wei.

I was always slow as fuck an questioning my own decisions before..... and a definitive lack of regular effort and practice did not help me there now....too much critical viewing during the process causing not enough progress....you should be disappointed with my 'efforts'...I am overall.
Just hafta remember that I am at a stage again where making a bad comic is very preferable to not making a comic.

Luckily I also some some great efforts from some of the other competitors who did redeem themselves to help with that disappointment.

Fearn
Artist
366 comments
# 19   Posted: Mar 14 2015, 01:41 AM
Nooooo Wei?! How unfinished is that?? I am shocked! Then i guess it's been a while since your last comic here, one can be out of practice :)

I will write up proper comments later guise!

Ahmed
Artist
29 comments
# 18   Posted: Mar 14 2015, 12:06 AM
Wei Ingnan: there is an awful lot of cock around here....Redemption Match: COCK Monsters

Quote

Write what you know, right?


"EnterVOID, the house that cock built."

Wei Ingnan
Artist
597 comments
# 17   Posted: Mar 13 2015, 11:44 PM
there is an awful lot of cock around here....Redemption Match: COCK Monsters


The Bent One
Artist
564 comments
# 16   Posted: Mar 13 2015, 11:41 PM
Uploaded. 3 Pages.

I fucked up my time management, but I got 3 pages of pure visual storytelling.

Please to enjoy. (slightly NSFW)

Wei Ingnan
Artist
597 comments
# 15   Posted: Mar 13 2015, 11:30 PM
uploaded

I stupidly fell for one of the classic blunders and decided to change my story and comic and dump what I had already gotten done..foolishly thinking I still had enough time to finish somthing new..I  felt that the original story was a bit beyond my current abilities and I actually didn't like where it was headed so I went with somthing a lot simpler and straightforward.... and of course I was then not able to finish properly before the deadline....had I better judged myself and my situation AND better plotted out the original comic in the first place it would be a different story..... part of this for me was to learn what I was capable of in my current health and condition and I did learn thru error in this case.

As it is I have submitted what I have so far so as not to default....however despite it only technically not being a default and a long way to go before it is finished...I am very modestly pleased that despite my current circumstances and it being a very long time since I have made a comic that I was actually able to get any amount of work done and more importantly enjoy the process.

I hope everyone else did much better than I did but enjoyed themselves at least half as much as I did....except for those fuckin horns...I seriously question my decision to add those in to the original design....I musta redrawn those damn things umpity times and I think I will keep trying to get the damn things right


Ahmed
Artist
29 comments
# 14   Posted: Mar 13 2015, 11:28 PM
Ooohwee, what a doozie. Can't wait to read everyone else's.

Mines is slightly NSFW so if you got kids, tell 'em not to read it at work. It's pretty mild tho.

Wei Ingnan
Artist
597 comments
# 13   Posted: Mar 13 2015, 08:48 PM
The clock is creeping ever closer to the deadline I want to wish last minute success to everyone taking part .....and I am looking forward to seeing what you all have done with the theme.

As for everyone viewing what follows were the terms we all agreed to when my challenge was accepted; this was to be similar in design to the Short and Sweet event in that it is to consist of a battle royal style artist match with a mystery T.B.A. theme but there was to be no punishment for defaulting for everyone taking part... except me.

The proposal was a Four Week Drawing period with a requirement of 3-5 page comic following the Mystery theme and without the use of any existing VOID characters....with any comic not meeting these requirements also being considered a default.
This was to be an opportunity for everyone to redeem themselves personally and as well as their current status. I just hope that everyone did their best to DO their best.
Any entries that are considered a default will not result in a change in status(unless its mine of course), but it would just be really disgusting if anyone did.

The mystery theme was of course; Monsters.

DEDieckmann (SkullcapComix)
Artist
463 comments
# 12   Posted: Mar 11 2015, 11:31 PM
This should be pretty spectacular........

Mister Kent
Artist
958 comments
# 11   Posted: Mar 9 2015, 05:21 AM
I approve!

Looking forward to reading everyone's monstrous comics!

Sean
Artist
382 comments
# 10   Posted: Mar 8 2015, 09:58 PM
Fair warning, my comic is NSFW.

Charlie
Artist
731 comments
# 9   Posted: Feb 14 2015, 02:25 PM
you all will grow up so fast

Ahmed
Artist
29 comments
# 8   Posted: Feb 14 2015, 08:51 AM
In 4 weeks, this dumb baby will be a MAN.

Minteh
Global Moderator
275 comments
# 7   Posted: Feb 13 2015, 08:29 PM
OH NOOOO I WANNA DO THIS DO. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT IT IS.  Good luck to you all, may you all taste sweet victory.

Wei Ingnan
Artist
597 comments
# 6   Posted: Feb 13 2015, 12:33 PM
justarhymes: NO WEI
Quote

YES WEI




Animeshen
Artist
1490 comments
# 5   Posted: Feb 13 2015, 11:28 AM
WHAT WHAT IS THIS WHATS HAPPENING

Sean
Artist
382 comments
# 4   Posted: Feb 13 2015, 11:18 AM
Ooooooo Monsters

justarhymes
Artist
654 comments
# 3   Posted: Feb 13 2015, 10:58 AM
NO WEI

Fearn
Artist
366 comments
# 2   Posted: Feb 13 2015, 10:51 AM
oooh awesomessssss!

Gregly
Artist
201 comments
# 1   Posted: Feb 13 2015, 10:24 AM
Yeeaah! Here we go again!

Comic Details -

 
Artist Match
Drawing Time: 4 weeks
Ended: Mar 20th, 2015
Votes Cast: 15
Page Views: 3067
Winner: Gregly
 

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We exist to provide an environment for artists to learn and improve their sequential art skills competitively. Our community is designed to give critical feedback and encouragement to our many members the world over, at all skill levels.

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