I definitely agree with other comments that it was a bit dark, I think the colour of your lines may have also contributed to this a bit. The lighter colours in the lines kind of gave the dark colours more chances to blend together visually. i also feel like you've done cleaner comics in void battles, so it definitely could have been a little tighter on that end, specifically the shading on page 1.
i really liked the story itself and the fourth page as DNO said is super good, really creative panelling and also a great way to show off that burn scar on Ruuto's back! Looking forward to your next comics with him!
Intro Story / Unknown
Critiques & Comments
# 6
Posted:
Oct 21 2016, 09:23 AM
# 5
Posted:
Oct 19 2016, 01:23 PM
I want to fight you.
# 4
Posted:
Oct 16 2016, 09:50 PM
I really like this, and page 4 earns you some big creativity and quality points. However, while your pacing is good, it could've been tightened up even more for this intro to allow for more story within the 4 page limit.
# 3
Posted:
Oct 16 2016, 05:14 PM
Alright, another dragon!
# 2
Posted:
Oct 15 2016, 08:35 AM
Hit listed because he is adorable and we should battle. Just saying.
ANYWAY. I'm intrigued by this character and am curious how he'll be interacting and dealing with the violence in void!
Some thoughts:
I think it was eveeerrrr so slightly too dark. Just by like, a hair. I know it's night time, and I believe you displayed that well, but it was a little hard to see. I agree with ofthegoodnight, I really liked the silence of it all. I think that let you play out the fear in Ruuto and rage in the other dragon well. We also get to REALLY see Ruuto's personality shine through in that he would MUCH rather run than fight, and that establishes your character well. I think the fire effects were a bit too soft for me, and I feel you could've played up the violent nature of the other dragon by incorporating more oranges and reds to show off the emotional rage and also some "crisper" (does that make sense??" firey waves.
The last page to me felt like we were actually looking at a flash back, but I was confused on my first read because it looks like maybe the forest got flooded? If this was a flashback, I think continuing with the waves borders (which I friggin' love btw) into the first panel of that page could have helped establish that.
This was a really nice intro and I feel like we got a lot of info on your character about his relationship with others of his kind WITHOUT any words, which is awesome. Great job!
ANYWAY. I'm intrigued by this character and am curious how he'll be interacting and dealing with the violence in void!
Some thoughts:
I think it was eveeerrrr so slightly too dark. Just by like, a hair. I know it's night time, and I believe you displayed that well, but it was a little hard to see. I agree with ofthegoodnight, I really liked the silence of it all. I think that let you play out the fear in Ruuto and rage in the other dragon well. We also get to REALLY see Ruuto's personality shine through in that he would MUCH rather run than fight, and that establishes your character well. I think the fire effects were a bit too soft for me, and I feel you could've played up the violent nature of the other dragon by incorporating more oranges and reds to show off the emotional rage and also some "crisper" (does that make sense??" firey waves.
The last page to me felt like we were actually looking at a flash back, but I was confused on my first read because it looks like maybe the forest got flooded? If this was a flashback, I think continuing with the waves borders (which I friggin' love btw) into the first panel of that page could have helped establish that.
This was a really nice intro and I feel like we got a lot of info on your character about his relationship with others of his kind WITHOUT any words, which is awesome. Great job!
# 1
Posted:
Oct 15 2016, 01:50 AM
Hey hello! I really enjoyed that this comic was silent. I'm not sure if this was the intention, but it gives a sort of muted, "flash-back" kind of feeling. Given that there were no indications of sound other than what we can infer from the visuals, it gives off a sort of dissociating? effect. Also the wavy borders for the very last bit with the water and all, are a very nice touch.
In terms of character, it's immediately clear that Ruuto doesn't want trouble, as it seems he tried to be alone when attempt to fly off was made, and how he didn't fight back at his foe. Also referring to what you've written in his bio, it also hints at how he is considered a "weak class" when compared to his brethren. Now I'm left wondering (in a good/anticipatory way) what had pushed him to be able to let his dragon instincts take over to attempt the escape.
All in all, I think this comic was very well made, and it really corresponds with the information in the character bio! Good job and I look forward to seeing more of Ruuto. : D
In terms of character, it's immediately clear that Ruuto doesn't want trouble, as it seems he tried to be alone when attempt to fly off was made, and how he didn't fight back at his foe. Also referring to what you've written in his bio, it also hints at how he is considered a "weak class" when compared to his brethren. Now I'm left wondering (in a good/anticipatory way) what had pushed him to be able to let his dragon instincts take over to attempt the escape.
All in all, I think this comic was very well made, and it really corresponds with the information in the character bio! Good job and I look forward to seeing more of Ruuto. : D
Beyond Battle
Ended:
Oct 21st, 2016
Votes Cast:
21
Page Views:
1319
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Artist
For me, the aim of intro comics is just that. To introduce a character. Who are they? Why are they here? What baggage are they bringing? We don't know why Ruuto is fighting this stranger dragon. Is the stranger dragon a person too? What has he done? Why're they fighting? Additionally, we don't see any prologue to the flood you reference. It's just...there. You see a hint of it on page 3, but really, there is such a focus of action between the two battling dragons you almost miss it. I know I did upon first read. I usually a fan of silent comics as that relies on the art alone, but I don't think your art delivered enough of an explanation for us to be 'ok, I know who Ruuto is and why he's here. If he's anywhere at all.