Congrats on you latest, Pyras! The colors are amazing, and the pastel colors work well with the magical setting. I agree with the notes on perspective, but I think a bigger issue is inconsistent shading. For example, pg2 panel 4 & 5 the womens' faces are unshaded even when hair is shaded. pg2 panel 1, chairs cast shadows, but other background objects like bookshelves and light fixtures do not.
That aside, I really love Rocio's character, the story potential, and the paneling (man, such good use of negative space!) Well done!
Intro Story / Rocío
Critiques & Comments
# 11
Posted:
Oct 27 2018, 01:55 PM
# 10
Posted:
Oct 26 2018, 03:04 PM
I love your lineless style and the transformation sequence on the first page has a lot of really good movement to it! Rocio is great and I’m excited to see more of her!!
# 9
Posted:
Oct 26 2018, 07:50 AM
The stretched pages for more content is something voiders been doing for 12 years lmao. Back when the page limit was even smaller.
Aart: While your style is always great, your colors are nice and your art is pretty af when utilized properly: I am with heathen. There is a lot of wonk in the perspective. And it becomes noticable at the very end with the shot of the chuch. The floating islands don't line up, and it exposes your lineless style a lot as shapes becomes poorly defined. Part of the church and the surroundings become blobby becouse the feel disconnect to the whole.
Its a good reminder for me and other artists that look up to your stuff that the fundamentals can never be ignored.
Aart: While your style is always great, your colors are nice and your art is pretty af when utilized properly: I am with heathen. There is a lot of wonk in the perspective. And it becomes noticable at the very end with the shot of the chuch. The floating islands don't line up, and it exposes your lineless style a lot as shapes becomes poorly defined. Part of the church and the surroundings become blobby becouse the feel disconnect to the whole.
Its a good reminder for me and other artists that look up to your stuff that the fundamentals can never be ignored.
# 8
Posted:
Oct 25 2018, 01:05 AM
Your styles and colors are amazing and I always enjoy seeing your new comics. I will agree though that some of the perspective is off, in particular the first panel on page 2 was a bit distracting, the left bookcase and the floor line should be more parallel since the bookcase should be pressed up against the wall, however from the perspective at the first panel it looks like the book case is not directly pressing against the wall. so try to be more careful with the perspective and make sure things don't lead to odd intersections like the bookshelf angle and the floor one.
The paneling is interesting and I don't inherently have a problem with it. The problem i have is on page to all the pure black looks kind of awkward and makes the panels feel too isolated. In the first page you had an awesome gradient background and I think the second page would have benefited from a darker gradient slowly descending into the purple silhouttes. Your colors are so great that being surrounded by all that true black kind of feels flat and I think an off black or purple gradient would have worked better to connect the panels and dialogue to each other and to other panels.
Those minor crits aside this is a really good comic and your quality is top notch, Also I like seeing this exploration into the endless scroll and wanna see more of it.
The paneling is interesting and I don't inherently have a problem with it. The problem i have is on page to all the pure black looks kind of awkward and makes the panels feel too isolated. In the first page you had an awesome gradient background and I think the second page would have benefited from a darker gradient slowly descending into the purple silhouttes. Your colors are so great that being surrounded by all that true black kind of feels flat and I think an off black or purple gradient would have worked better to connect the panels and dialogue to each other and to other panels.
Those minor crits aside this is a really good comic and your quality is top notch, Also I like seeing this exploration into the endless scroll and wanna see more of it.
# 7
Posted:
Oct 23 2018, 08:47 PM
I don't want to derail the comments from being about the comic, but maybe we could look at possibly doing away with the arbitrary 4 page intro limit, then. Invite everyone to go the extra mile. Let's see some full intro issues! I'm for it.
# 6
Posted:
Oct 23 2018, 05:59 PM
Uh, to be clear.. I approve characters, not Pyras or anyone else. Approval committee weighs in but I make the final call.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with Pyras stacking pages if he wants to go the extra mile for his intro comic. This isn’t a tournament where there’s a strict page limit, it’s an intro comic and you can go all out of you want.
No one is abusing any power or circumventing any rules. He made a big ol’ intro comic because he wanted to, nothing wrong with that.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with Pyras stacking pages if he wants to go the extra mile for his intro comic. This isn’t a tournament where there’s a strict page limit, it’s an intro comic and you can go all out of you want.
No one is abusing any power or circumventing any rules. He made a big ol’ intro comic because he wanted to, nothing wrong with that.
# 5
Posted:
Oct 23 2018, 03:27 PM
Skulls raised eyebrows over Dechado's comment, and while I don't know about any power abuse, I will say the infinite scroll format is definitely circumventing the 4 page intro limitation.
That said, these are beautifully illustrated tapestries. My main concern, and one I'm surprised no one else has mentioned, is that your perspective fundamentals aren't there at all. The birds eye of the office appears to be in one point perspective, but nothing lines up. Likewise, the impact of the gothic cathedral is lessened by the lack of proper perspective to give it the scale and believability it deserves.
Your style is one of the strongest on the site, and tends to get the lion's share of the praise directed at your comics. Time to bring the basics up to properly support it.
That said, these are beautifully illustrated tapestries. My main concern, and one I'm surprised no one else has mentioned, is that your perspective fundamentals aren't there at all. The birds eye of the office appears to be in one point perspective, but nothing lines up. Likewise, the impact of the gothic cathedral is lessened by the lack of proper perspective to give it the scale and believability it deserves.
Your style is one of the strongest on the site, and tends to get the lion's share of the praise directed at your comics. Time to bring the basics up to properly support it.
# 4
Posted:
Oct 23 2018, 08:32 AM
Bless you
And
Fight me!
I loved this.
I'll echo skull's crit for neater handwritten words
As well, a suggestion: your bookcase had a lot of books of even heights, and shelves that accomodated them perfectly. Now, i dont deny that lady vanity might be the sort to have such a.... nitpicky collection? But those sorts of things always catch my eye as being off. I'd suggest varying book widths and heights in the future to simulate a more realistic bookcase.
Those faces in her shadow have got me wanting to up my game!
Thank you for sharing this wonderful intro, pyras!
And
Fight me!
I loved this.
I'll echo skull's crit for neater handwritten words
As well, a suggestion: your bookcase had a lot of books of even heights, and shelves that accomodated them perfectly. Now, i dont deny that lady vanity might be the sort to have such a.... nitpicky collection? But those sorts of things always catch my eye as being off. I'd suggest varying book widths and heights in the future to simulate a more realistic bookcase.
Those faces in her shadow have got me wanting to up my game!
Thank you for sharing this wonderful intro, pyras!
# 3
Posted:
Oct 23 2018, 12:52 AM
Dechado: I'm pretty sure these were more than four pages, so I hope this isn't you abusing your position.
Quote
__________________
Pyras: She's in! Glad to see her in void!
You got some nice stuff happening on the first page, the transformation sequence really sold her magical girl side, and you've really leveled up on the backgrounds department, this is a really good step up, and you've come a long way since trying out the vector look.
Your coloring is also improving. In the past I've seen you use just grey and white as your shading and highlights respectively. this time around you're experimenting a bit more with using different hues and values, so keep that up!
My nitpicks would be two things: Your handwritten words can be much neater and aligned proper with thinner boarders around them. Your stuff is lineless, so having those sorts of thick, black boarders for sound effects can be a really distracting thing from the rest of your art! for her transformation call out dialogue, yeah, just keep it neatly written.
lastly, I think paneling took a tad bit of a step down. There's times where it's just blocks on one side, dialogue on the other. there's times I noticed you took some shortcuts because you ran out of ideas to fill in spaces and just used word bubbles to do the trick. I don't know, this is also some new territory I'm seeing from you, so my only advice is keep on experimenting with the layout of your panels, really push how they can be shaped and placed on your pages.
overall solid stuff! love to see more soon.
# 2
Posted:
Oct 23 2018, 12:36 AM
I'm so excited shes finally in! Fantastic work on the cathedral, the transformation was beautiful and the demons in her shadows were hella spooky! I confess I dont feel like I know much about her personality from this but I look forward to seeing her in battle! FIGHT ME TWICE
# 1
Posted:
Oct 22 2018, 11:23 PM
I'm pretty sure these were more than four pages, so I hope this isn't you abusing your position.
On a more positive note, I am happy to see Rocio finally in. I was sure you had already applied for her, but I guess I was wrong.
Really like your backgrounds, and I can't wait to see her adventures.
[EDIT]
Oh yeah, I forgot.
Do you speak Spanish? Even in tumblr I remember the doodles you'd post had pretty well dialogue written in.
If not, I'd be happy to help you with slang and the like, should you wish.
On a more positive note, I am happy to see Rocio finally in. I was sure you had already applied for her, but I guess I was wrong.
Really like your backgrounds, and I can't wait to see her adventures.
[EDIT]
Oh yeah, I forgot.
Do you speak Spanish? Even in tumblr I remember the doodles you'd post had pretty well dialogue written in.
If not, I'd be happy to help you with slang and the like, should you wish.
Beyond Battle
Ended:
Oct 29th, 2018
Votes Cast:
22
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Also, my goodness her hair looks so silky and voluminous.