Invitational Tournament 2019: Round 1 / Iain MacTavish vs. Zhanic Hanalei
Critiques & Comments
# 8
Posted:
Jun 17 2019, 04:27 AM
These are both incredibly adorable. I hope we'll get to see more interactions between these two. <3
# 7
Posted:
Jun 15 2019, 12:54 AM
zhanic is precious and both of you depict him wonderfully in these cute interactions. one bit of advice i would give for both of you is to vary up the composition in your panels as the majority of these comics is midshots. I think you should both try to limit yourselfs to only 3 midshots per page and see what you can come up with. I would also recomend reading the book "Framed ink" by Marcos Mateu-Mestre it is a great book on composition and has a lot of good ideas you can flip through for when storyboarding out your comics.
Buggy: I already posted my main crit above but good job on get 5 colored pages done in one week. your characters and faction emotions are good at showing their emotions, and this story is a cute little one. My only other crit would be to have arrows pointing to the characters mouths. It's not too hard to tell in this because of Zhanic's lisp but when neither character has a lisp it you will need arrows so we know for sure which character is talking. Welcome to void and it's also nice to have another character with a shop.
Bat: I love your expressions with Zhanic they are very great at accentuating his innocence.I also like the backgrounds that you have in here. My main other crit besides the composition one is to try and make your bubbles more round. it seems like you did them with the pen with makes them look all unintentionally jagedy. though it does work for the time with Zhanic says "really" the regular bubbles you should be using a more circular tool. Good job and i look forward to seeing your other stuff.
Also for your layouts your borders should have white space between them and not just black borders. The white space is called gutters and it better helps separate panels as well as dictate the amount of the that passes inbetween panels.
Buggy: I already posted my main crit above but good job on get 5 colored pages done in one week. your characters and faction emotions are good at showing their emotions, and this story is a cute little one. My only other crit would be to have arrows pointing to the characters mouths. It's not too hard to tell in this because of Zhanic's lisp but when neither character has a lisp it you will need arrows so we know for sure which character is talking. Welcome to void and it's also nice to have another character with a shop.
Bat: I love your expressions with Zhanic they are very great at accentuating his innocence.I also like the backgrounds that you have in here. My main other crit besides the composition one is to try and make your bubbles more round. it seems like you did them with the pen with makes them look all unintentionally jagedy. though it does work for the time with Zhanic says "really" the regular bubbles you should be using a more circular tool. Good job and i look forward to seeing your other stuff.
Also for your layouts your borders should have white space between them and not just black borders. The white space is called gutters and it better helps separate panels as well as dictate the amount of the that passes inbetween panels.
# 6
Posted:
Jun 14 2019, 06:46 PM
Buggypumpkin: MY HEART. A sweet little comic of what will hopefully be a nice friendship. It does show when the bookshelves are in perspective that the design was't meant to be seen that way. If you reuse assets like that, it's a good idea to fiddle with them a little so they work.
Heavenbat: OH NO MY HEART AGAIN. The emotions and and expressions really carry this comic. It's good to use line tools for things like inorganic shapes, but it can really show, especially when the break between the characters and the straight lines is so harsh. It's good to find ways to soften the harshness of those lines when you can.
Heavenbat: OH NO MY HEART AGAIN. The emotions and and expressions really carry this comic. It's good to use line tools for things like inorganic shapes, but it can really show, especially when the break between the characters and the straight lines is so harsh. It's good to find ways to soften the harshness of those lines when you can.
# 5
Posted:
Jun 11 2019, 11:41 PM
@BuggyPumpkin: your strongest point here are definetely your shots and bodylanguage/facial expressions. Story wise this is sweet but not too much going on sadly. You definetely did good on your coloring. My advice would be to try and give your lineart a little more depth/3dimensionality for most Background elements are looking very flat even if you mangaged to implement depth with decent blurs here and there.
@havenbat: good work on the lost feeling zhanic expresses. Also your background drawing especially in the interior store is nice even if this lacks routine imo. Also watch your speechbubble placing a bit. In page 2 panel 8 i thought at first Iain was talking.
Story wise that was really sweet. Zhanic is a sweet as pie.
@havenbat: good work on the lost feeling zhanic expresses. Also your background drawing especially in the interior store is nice even if this lacks routine imo. Also watch your speechbubble placing a bit. In page 2 panel 8 i thought at first Iain was talking.
Story wise that was really sweet. Zhanic is a sweet as pie.
# 4
Posted:
Jun 11 2019, 06:21 PM
Bat!! Not only was it a joy and pleasure to be paired up with you for my first Void fight, but your comic is awesome!! Your drawings are so expressive and you can really tell what exactly the characters are feeling and they feel so life-like. I also love the use of Scottish Gaelic/Gaelic for the incantation of the spell! It was a really nice detail.
My main critique for your compositions is to be wary of tangents, as they can flatten the image. There’s one in the first panel with Charlie’s ear and the street and one in the last one with Iain’s arm in the floor. They don’t take away from the story, but they can be a little distracting.
Overall I love your comic. The story is clear and leaves the reader (and me) wanting more!
Job well done!!
My main critique for your compositions is to be wary of tangents, as they can flatten the image. There’s one in the first panel with Charlie’s ear and the street and one in the last one with Iain’s arm in the floor. They don’t take away from the story, but they can be a little distracting.
Overall I love your comic. The story is clear and leaves the reader (and me) wanting more!
Job well done!!
# 3
Posted:
Jun 11 2019, 04:48 PM
Hey all! Just wanna mention that I am keenly aware of the anatomy and perspective and background issues in mine (all of which I would've fixed if I had time), so it's not too necessary to point those out-- if possible, I'd prefer critiques on things like layout/composition and formatting and story/flow. I definitely will still take critiques on the anatomy issues, I just want to make it clear that I am aware of them haha.
# 2
Posted:
Jun 11 2019, 09:37 AM
I’m just about to go to bed but I had to read these first, I’ll vote and comment properly tomorrow. But. This is just the most wholesome battle I have ever seen I love both of these nerds
# 1
Posted:
Jun 3 2019, 10:30 AM
think i read about this battle in one of tolkien's books
Regular Match
Drawing Time:
1 week
Ended:
Jun 17th, 2019
Votes Cast:
32
Page Views:
1710
Winner:
BuggyPumpkin
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BuggyPumpkin, you've got good use of colors & backgrounds that really help give your comic a sense of life.
And Heavenbat, in the same way, your perspective and panel composition really help the conversation feel like it flows organically, it's easy to just work my way through when reading.
Good luck to both of you!!!