Flavor Explosion / Shizana and Ma

Flavor Explosion — Shizana and Ma

This comic has not been rated; viewer discretion advised.

Icon for ShizanaIcon for Ma
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Critiques & Comments
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zee
Artist
132 comments
# 6   Posted: Jun 29 2017, 08:17 PM
LOVED IT.
I thought the dialogue in this was fun and at times it really made me laugh. The color variations throughout the pages look great too, it kept things exciting!
Despite any shortcomings that others have mentioned I think this was a super entertaining and enjoyable read, great job you guys.  
I do have to agree with the others in that, just because it would be really cool story-wise, I would love to see Shizana confront Louise about this. The drama!!

(Also thanks for that lil cameo there, you guys rule. )

Radji
Artist
624 comments
# 5   Posted: Jun 23 2017, 03:11 PM
hot damn
The plot in this comic is for me the best one I've read in weeks !! Ma is fabulous in this comic, the manipulator beau-parleur villain is my favorite kind, and which such an elaborated plan, his character became so much more fascinating! Shizana's part in this has me excited!! The possibilities of them under Ma's psychic influence are numerous can't wait to see more.
Can't help to agree with Zig about Shizana needing to confront Louise about Rovick, even if I think that immediately showing that is not really necessary for this comic.

Colors wise, i really liked what you did Corn, it remenber me of the night scenes in A Monster In Paris ^^

ZigZagaroo
16 comments
# 4   Posted: Jun 23 2017, 12:16 PM
Alright it's been awhile since I've given any kind of criticism on a comic so please bear with me. Fair warning, I'm going to tear into the story a lot since I feel that it was the weakest part of this comic. Before that I'll start by getting into the overall art....

Corn, I know you've been in anguish getting through the process of coloring out this comic (especially with page 8). So let me just tell you your efforts have not been for naught, every panel I read was fantastic.  Each color palette you chose was perfect for setting a specific atmosphere for each scene. Your use of brush strokes worked very well here, showing once again how proficient you can be with them. It really helped give off the comic's illumination for each scene while giving it it's own "polished" look which helps give it it's own distinct look. In fact the lighting in this comic really "shined through" for me. It was balanced out well throughout the story, whether it was depicting the intensity of a scene or showing off the ending's sinister intent. Especially in the second panel of page eight, where Baku throws her flash bang, which I feel also served as a nice climax to the action. Now Rhim I must say you did great with the comic's composition and layout. No panel was too large or too small, nor did any of it seem too empty or cluttered. The flow of the comic felt consistent, keeping us going through the motion without interruption. What I loved the most though was page one, serving as both the cover and the opening scene is a great way to get the reader thrown head first into the story. My only gripe, the use of cel shading looks sloppily drawn, even rushed I should say, especially towards the end. Other than that it looks marvelous!

Ok, now the story.... why was he in a basement? Why was he just in Louise's basement this entire time without anyone noticing? Not even Shizana who's one of the few people to have access to the tunnels? I'm sorry if I sound rash writing this out but this fact pokes some holes into your previous stories. If this is the case what exactly happened during your "Shizana vs Louise" comic? Did Louise just hide him away telling Shizana he escaped? Did Rovick escape only to be recaptured by Louise shortly after? Now if Rovick were a lower Omega subordinate I would almost understand Shizana's lack of urgency keeping him under wraps. But as you've established in your past stories he is not only a high ranking Commander, has history with Zana, but is directly responsible for kidnapping her husband and almost killing her. I would like to imagine bringing him in would be her top priority. I know you've been revising Shizana's story so of course some aspects are going to be out of synch with one another, but I don't think reintroducing Rovick in Lousie's custody was the best way to go about it. Which brings me to Louise herself, who has played an unnecessarily small part in this story. If Louise has been keeping Rovick hidden all this time then how would Shizana actually feel about it, or even just Zana? Knowing that the women who she's put her trust in, the mother of her own two daughters, has been hiding away not only a wanted criminal but her husband's own kidnapper. Thats not something that should be ignored or put off for later. Even if Shi and Zana were under some charm, arguing with one another, perhaps there should have been at least an extra page confronting Louise? Hearing out her alibi or her trying to make up some excuse? It just feels unsettling to leave something like that up in the air. Aside from that, I'm happy to see Ma's plans further developing as he slowly assembles his ensemble of rogues. Baku and Cue were a nice addition to the story, even helping to initiate whatever Ma has in store for Shizana was a nice touch.

Otherwise great work you two! Can't wait to see what other wacky adventures the two get into....

Corn Of The Breads
Artist
154 comments
# 3   Posted: Jun 23 2017, 08:53 AM
This comic took me much longer then I expected it felt like I worked on it for months, I want to thank Technicoloryawn He helped me when it seemed like this comic was gonna break me! I am so glad it is finally done and yall are able to see it.

Rhimwill
Artist
97 comments
# 2   Posted: Jun 23 2017, 08:47 AM
So way back when, Corn and I were toying with the idea of entering the TTT. Obviously we ended up not doing that, but when we looked at the roster there was one team that really got our inspiration going. So we asked Majikura and A Bad Idea if we could use Cue and Baku for our comic (thanks, guys!)
Hope y'all enjoy our little setup! :D

Pencils and lettering - Rhimwill
Ink and color - Corn of the Breads

Pita (Slowly getting back into it)
Approval Committee
285 comments
# 1   Posted: Jun 23 2017, 08:38 AM
Omega's commander was in the basement this whole time?

Y'all got some 'splaining to do.

Comic Details -

 
Beyond Battle
Drawing Time: 1 week
Ended: Jun 29th, 2017
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