Love Child Tag Team Death Tournament, Round 1 / Lalala vs. F.O.R.G.E.

Love Child Tag Team Death Tournament, Round 1 — Lalala vs. F.O.R.G.E.

by cats and Desichan


1676 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8Page 9Page 10Page 11



1594 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8Page 9Page 10Page 11Page 12




Critiques & Comments
Please register or log in to comment


cats
Artist
icon
31 comments
# 18   Posted: Mar 14 2018, 10:13 PM
Team Forge- Man, I just needed it to be known how much I enjoyed your comic. You’re jokes was spot on and everything was so clean and crisp. I still laugh everytime I reread it (which is a ton by now) Freakin page 8 will forever be my favorite thing.

ArtsandGoodies
Artist
icon
55 comments
# 17   Posted: Mar 14 2018, 08:19 PM
Team Lalala- what I like most about this is how you made Lalala, a character with an army and overwhelming force, likable and someone i am interested in seeing. Generally in these death comics there is like one "group character" which is more than one character and I have always felt bad for the people they face cause it always seems kind of unfair for these short time format death tournaments. But Lalala comes of as more fair since it's really just one main character with a disposable army. I think this just overall made Lalala a really enjoyable character. Story was funny and both characters we're nice.

Team Forge: You also did a really good job with writing both characters and the animations were pretty cool and added some more character. I also like how drastically lalala's attitude changed right before her death. Though I think it's weird that forge just stops his rampage against Lalala because she isn't a threat yet they annihilated the whole bunny band. I guess it would make more sense if instead of being stopped by waiting for Lalala to be a threat they just got distracted by the cowbell and got mad when it was taken away from them.


Shen
Global Moderator
icon
1206 comments
# 16   Posted: Mar 14 2018, 08:10 PM
Lalala: your powers combined is such an adorable aesthetic! I love how you wrote FORGE's, ah, "voice" lol. Good pacing and I love the layouts and colour scheme. Lala might have been a tad overpowered, it would have been nice to see her in a bit more peril or at least unsure at some point.
FORGE: LOVED the animations! The cowbell and bunny beat-down were my favorite things of like the entire tourney! You drew everyone very adorably, fantastic gesture and expression. biggest issue for me was the pacing, i understand pausing for dramatic effect but some of those panels could have been made smaller for shorter "beats" as I feel some bits (like Lala being annoyed at the cowbell sound) got dragged on a bit.

PyrasTerran
Community Manager
icon
1364 comments
# 15   Posted: Mar 13 2018, 08:59 AM
Team CatDesichan: Really cute and solid art here, I like the concept of the one outlier bunny. Desi I know the sparkles pattern is part of your style but sometimes I wonder if it becomes a little overwhelming, it could just be me though; I would have liked to see more backgrounds

Team CornNothin: With page 4 Panel 1 this became one of my favorite comics of round one, I literally laughed out loud a few times, you guys make a terrific team and I really dig the energy and use of environment to further play the comedy

Bobo
Web Dev
icon
859 comments
# 14   Posted: Mar 8 2018, 04:57 PM
@Desi + Cat: Your aesthetic in this comic is my aesthetic, so obviously I LOVED it visually! I think you did an amazing job with facial expressions and body language. Everything felt so alive! I could actually hear Lalala's voice in my head as if I were watching a show, which I usually can't do. And the way you used blues to represent FORGE's actions and vision was phenomenal! One thing I would suggest is to perhaps give the background a slightly different shade of pink from Lalala, or at least give it a significant enough difference in value (i.e. how dark or light everything is when you remove the color from it) to make her really stand out. I don't think it would take very much to add a level of contrast that would make everything read just that little bit better to make it perfect!

As far as writing goes, obviously I loved how cute the story was. The dialogue very clearly represented who Lalala and FORGE are as characters, and Lalala's cute, nonchalant approach towards destroying an enemy is just disturbing enough to have me hooked. That said, I feel like you left her in a bit of an ambiguous place genre-wise. You could have amped up her more vicious nature and created more of a horror comic disguised as a cute romp through town, or you could have given her a little bit more of a reaction to the violence going on, showing her more human side and the emotional impact of what was going on. (Personally, I want to see a bit more of the "secret serial killer" Lalala, but it's your character and your story to tell.) I feel like I as the reader can't quite tell whether Lalala is actually secretly murderous or whether she's just disconnected from the reality of what's happening to her bunnies and to FORGE as they're torn apart and destroyed. Between that ambiguity and the fact that FORGE is a robot without a very clear motive or emotions or anything, your comic had less of an emotional impact than I think it could have had.

Overall, this was a gorgeous comic (omg I seriously just want to look at this art all day) with adorable and fun characters! I'm also impressed at how seamlessly you two worked together. I have no idea who did what, but I can tell that you both added your personal touches and that's why it's so beautiful. I really want to see more of Lalala (especially if you decide to take my advice of going a little more horror with it)! I'm proud of both of you!!!

@Nothin + Corn: Okay, so you went exactly where I hoped you would go with these characters, and I'm giddy at all the violence haha. The animations you guys added really amp up the storytelling a lot! I love how much more common animated comics are becoming on VOID! Please keep doing them! I don't think the coloring on this comic is the strongest it could be; there's a lot of midtones and desaturated colors that create a very samey look to the backgrounds. I love the details you added to the backgrounds; they just could have used a wider range of values (be sure to add some sort of grayscale adjustment layer/filter layer/whatever as you're coloring to make sure it still looks good without color, and it'll pop so much more when you're done). The lack of shadows also made everything kind of flat, which left it feeling unfinished even though you clearly put a lot of work into this.

Writing-wise, I wasn't super sold on the story at first, but it had its great moments. I love that you showed a little bit more of Lalala's bloodlust and commanding nature rather than just her cute side. I don't think there's really any clear indicator of why FORGE attacked the bunnies at the beginning, or why she stopped after slaughtering them all instead of just continuing and killing Lalala. I wish there had been a bit more motive behind it, because having it seem so random takes away some of the emotional impact of that scene. What really shone, though, was the ending. Page 10 made my heart happy, and page 12 made me laugh out loud. You did an amazing job of bringing things full circle, so bravo for that! I know FORGE isn't necessarily supposed to behave like a normal human would, but having some sort of clear reason for her actions from the beginning would have just added a little bit more to the whole comic.

You guys did an awesome job, really! I love your character, and I just want to see her murder everything tbh. How do you make something so simultaneously horrifying and cute? I want to see more of FORGE, and I'd like to see you push the horror a little further, because I think that would add depth to her story. Good luck, and thanks for the amazing work!

Kozispoon
Approval Committee
icon
940 comments
# 13   Posted: Mar 8 2018, 12:34 PM
TEAM LALALA- Your comic was a visual delight. From making Forge positively sparkly to the whimsy of the parade before it all went to pot. I liked that every personal aspect of Lala had an almost toony sentience to it- though I'm sure it was more to add to the cuteness factor.
I do agree with the other comments here that the stakes didn't seem very high in this battle. It felt one sided where Lala was simply untouchable which is somewhat of a yawn. This is admittedly only the first round, but a killer robot being taken out by a bunny dogpile felt rather tame.


TEAM FORGE- I think my fav bits of this comic were the animations/ It added extra punch to your comedic moments and had me laughing out loud. The big bouncer bunnies punching the shit out of Forge was my fav part XD You showcased your opponent well and made her quite the formidable opponent. Nice job.
I think the only thing I hated were were sudden extreme dips in quality here and there. also your fonts and sound effect text really bring down the quality of your pages and content as they're so crudely implemented.



Alouisse Ver
Artist
icon
32 comments
# 12   Posted: Mar 8 2018, 11:43 AM
Just excellent work the both of you! What an even freaking match! Right down to some of the panels even being animated. I loved the stories and character interactions! Reading these two comics was SUCH a freaking enjoyment.

-----------------

Team LaLaLa:

I adore this character. I adore her premise. I adore her method of attack and I just love everything about this character. She's the kind of character that you'd love to see interacting with others. So HUGE props for creating such a good char.

The coloring is great and works well with the lines. It was interesting seeing how the two of you handled doing large crowds.

My only critiques are:
+ Tidy work and just a bit more detail needed for the backgrounds. Some of the lines (example, page 1, panel 6) for the buildings go directly across the sidewalks. With some of the lines even going past the panels (example, page 3 panel 1)

+ Would love to see this character deal with some consequences (or know how she deals with NVCPD), or see how the city views and handles her. A huge part of her character is that she's trying to convince everyone to join her. I'd love to see hints of her domination.

Such as, would she decorate the buildings? How would those that're left as humans look like? Would some be running away from her in the background? Would others be praising her, hoping to be spared?

-----------------

Team FORGE:

NEEDS MORe COWBELL. /s

Gonna take a second to say I LOVE the detailing on the first page! Just a wonderful way to start the battle.

I'm in love with how the characters interacted with one another, seriously. The pacing was good, and I was thoroughly entertained by all the gags and action in this comic. That animation on page 8 just had me laughing. I freaking loved it.

My only critiques would be:

1. I wish there was some shading. This comic could've really popped with some shading. Or if the colorist was low on time, just some shading for panels that could've really benefited from it.

2. I wish page 11 was handled a little differently so that it really carries the weight that the last panel on page 10 carried. A silhouette of the character being killed, or blood splattering on FORGE while Lalala is off-camera.




      Edited Mar 8 2018,  11:44 AM by Alouisse Ver

DaniBot
Artist
icon
10 comments
# 11   Posted: Mar 8 2018, 11:17 AM
Ah man I had been looking forward to seeing these cute babies! The little animated bits were a nice touch and added a bit of flair from both sides. The comedic pacing for both was also great. I liked the mix between deadly and cute from both characters.

Team Lalala: Your collaboration of styles are amazing and work so well together. Being a former band geek myself, I enjoyed the use of marching band terms. I liked how Lala thought it was a game at first. I kinda want to see more of how serious she can get when she's not playing.  Regardless, I loved it and I can tell both of you worked really hard on this! Good job!

Team FORGE: FORGE was so precious it literally made my heart hurt. I enjoyed the little touches like the tears from Lala's baton. The line work looked really clean and I enjoyed the choice of colors. It gave it a nice bright atmosphere amidst all the death, but it did come off flat.  It was still an enjoyable read to me! Good job guys! Good luck to both teams!

Jiisuri
Artist
icon
122 comments
# 10   Posted: Mar 8 2018, 09:45 AM
Alright so. I felt the same way about both these comics as far as writing goes. Both of them had a very similar case of "My character did the thing, and the opponent responds but nope my character is just that strong and kills the other". It's passable, but overall I wasn't very wowed by either of them. So what's left is execution.

Lets dig in shall we?

Team Lalala:
Love the posing and compositions. The tiny animations lend a nice touch to plenty of the scenes. Upon a first pass, I didn't feel anything particularly bad regarding the art so that's a plus. Any further comment would be nitpicking. Once again, my main issue was more with not feeling much for the plot. There was never any moment where Lalala felt threatened except for that one bit where she got charged at and then responded with a bunny meatshield shortly. Even at that part, however, there was not enough anticipation to that to make the payoff worth it. Build a little more to it by zooming in more to Lalala and devoting her response to the next page. Bigger suspense, bigger payoff. Other than that, I just felt the end was pretty underwhelming too. Good show tho, keep it up.

Team FORGE:

Nicely composed for quite a few parts, and has good comedic timing to it. The problem I feel though is that the comic looks very very flat due to lack of shading or depth cues in many a panel. Also some of the posing is a little stiff and awkward. Not a bad comic tho.

Good luck to all.

Radji
Artist
icon
460 comments
# 9   Posted: Mar 8 2018, 09:25 AM
Both Duo gave us pretty similar stories all things considered...

DesiCat You focused on the parade bit and your humor revolved around FORGE attempting infiltration. I didn't see enough of the Commanding Nightingale streak. FORGE also is supposed to super dangerous, but somehow in that comic, she seemed more like a minor nuisance and not a killer robot... Also FORGE got beaten by being trampled by...Plushies?

NothinCorn:  FORGE's Childish behavior and Lalala's Bratiness are very good, loved the onslaught of Violence that cut deeply with the sillyness of the lil pinkhead. My only complaint would be the overuse of Off-Screen murders.

Desichan
Artist
icon
120 comments
# 8   Posted: Mar 8 2018, 08:26 AM
Yoooo! Good job Cat, I think we did great, and I love how our comic turned out!!!

Corn and Nothin!!! Your guys's comic was pretty amazing I loved the expressions in your comic, and the humor was great!!! My favorite part is that part where Lala is like "Stop that." That face was adorable, and it just made me giggle there! I had a lot of fun reading your guys's comic, and I love some of the interesting things you put in, like the giant bunny golems!And the bunny balloon!! I was just like, oh man at those, those were cool!!! The part where Lala died also was really great, I love the overall atmosphere, though it did feel like there would be room to easily put more impact in those panels, just with something like saying "No no no no no..." Or other words that imply fear. REGARDLESS!

This comic was amazing, and it was really fun getting to battle you!!!

Also, @Jelly, haha, you're welcome~ Covering Forge in sparkles was literally the most fun thing to sparkle, no joke! Forge is so fun to draw!

Hellis
Artist
icon
145 comments
# 7   Posted: Mar 8 2018, 08:14 AM
Cats/Desi: Supercute. Very nice utilization of both your strengths. I enjoyed the comic a lot and I love the way you did FORGEs vision and adaptation. There was a issue with the lineart feeling incomplete in places, messy lines and rather scrawly backgrounds that I feel you could have done with giving another passover and tighten up.

Corn/Nothin: I love forge so much you guys. AI really enjoyed the style you had going on for this and the little animations was great. The humor in this was fantastic, and I enjoyed every second of it.

SirJellyRaptor
Artist
icon
31 comments
# 6   Posted: Mar 8 2018, 08:03 AM
Two awfully cute, we'll exectuted comics, both with animation. Why you gotta do me like this, man. I found the humor in both of these, when applied, to be pretty on point, like when Lala gave gorge the hat and when Lala turned around to see a massacre with Forge just stand there with the cowbell. I honestly don't know how to call this one.



Also Desi thank you now there is no way I'm ever drawing Forge again without absolutely saturating them with glitter

Bobo
Web Dev
icon
859 comments
# 5   Posted: Feb 25 2018, 11:11 AM
Can't wait to die of cuteness!!!

Desichan
Artist
icon
120 comments
# 4   Posted: Feb 21 2018, 04:43 PM
Oh you guys want a cute off~?

You'll get a cute off~!

Let's have fun out there, and do our bests! OwO!

Happy July 21st! -Reecer6
Artist
icon
205 comments
# 3   Posted: Feb 21 2018, 04:24 PM
this is how the world ends. not with a bang, but with a... a cute. something.
WAIT hold on i got a good reference here let me redo this

not with a bullet but with a butterfly

because you see the smashing pumpkins song, it's cal

Shen
Global Moderator
icon
1206 comments
# 2   Posted: Feb 21 2018, 03:53 PM
ONLY THE MOST ADORABLE CAN SURVIVE!

Corn Of The Breads
Think Tank
icon
120 comments
# 1   Posted: Feb 21 2018, 03:43 PM
Looks like we got ourselves a good ol fashioned cute off!

Comic Details -

 
Type: Death Match
Drawing Time: 2 weeks
Ended: Mar 14th, 2018
Votes Cast: 39
Page Views: 455
Winner: cats and Desichan

 

Add to Playlist -

 
 

Newest Comments -

 
Shen icon

Queen of the Night
Cadenza

@ 11:57 PM Jul 20th

Julz icon

Harlow Ironlocke vs. Wictor
@ 7:45 PM Jul 20th

Jiisuri icon

Crikey Dile vs. Terminal
@ 7:51 AM Jul 20th

Wirecat icon

Intro Story
Ashlan

@ 11:51 PM Jul 19th

 

Newest Characters -

 
AshlanEgg DealerAstroleoAzu FloresSehemaThe ProfessorsTiffanyShmagicPudding WashingtonLumin KaiHarlow IronlockeSebastian
 

Open Challenges -


Random Comic -



Latest Topics -

 
LGBT+ Jam 
Last updated: Dechado - Jul 20, 2018, 11:28 PM
Pinstripe Jam 
Last updated: Dechado - Jul 20, 2018, 11:02 PM
Challenges Thread 
Last updated: Heathen - Jul 18, 2018, 06:40 PM
DIOV CITY Tournament 
Last updated: Majikura - Jul 17, 2018, 11:15 PM
All News, All The Time 
Last updated: Staff Bot - Jul 17, 2018, 08:06 AM
 

Latest Members -


Users online -

 
21 Guests, 2 Users


[]

Most Online Today: 59.
Most Online Ever: 1,050 (Aug 30, 2015, 03:43 AM)

 

Original site Copyright 2002-2017 Kevin Birtcher All characters and content Copyright 2002-2017 their respective owners Theme by SMFTricks - Modified by Brittney Scott & Jordan Bobo