Both artist did great as in quality but  Carlito i kinda got lost as to where your story was headed never the less i appreciate the artwork
MOKUU!
I LOVED THE PIC WHERE IT TURNS OUT THE GUY I REALLY DRAWIN THE SCENES OUT
creative jus my opinionkeep em comin tho I
truely enjoyed both comics

Mokuu: A lot of your lineart was really good--not always consistent but I like your stylization. The coloring/shading on Page6 ("KAPOW!") was one of my favorite panels. Sometimes characters' muscles squished in weird ways, but I think your anatomy is good when you take the time. I don't know what the controversy is, but overall it was at least lively.

Carlito: I liked seeing Kill Bill translated into Void characters. Abrao playing Vernita Green was pretty funny (to me), but I guess its because I appreciated what you were trying to do with this tribute. Angie as The Bride I can totally see. I had hoped the two "main" characters would have had a little more interaction, but overall this was an entertaining comic.

Mokuu: an overall solid effort but afew things that bugged me.
In the opening cityscape there is a big part with no buildings and just empty sky. That would definately have looked better with a couple of other sky scrapers at the horizon.

Carlito: Your art keeps evolving and it all looked good... But what did this have to do with the battle you were supposed to make? the characters werent just minor bot not even in the same scenes.

carlito: your inks are getting better; I think the brush was a good choice. I don't think you've quite got a handle on the style you're using, though; the solid, black, splotchy inks aren't meshing with the fine hatching that well.
The consistency issues have been pointed out... it especially jumped out on page 9, where it suddenly looked like you were channelling 3 different artists, one for each character. you have to find one style and stick to it.
I've never seen Kill Bill, but I was mostly able to follow... one place that tripped me up was the jump from page 2 to 3... It was like suddenly, at the top of page 3, Angie and somebody in a striped shirt (I had to figure out that it was Abrao) have knives and there's a kid in the room?
It was just a lot of weird jumps and not much to help figure out what's going on? I dunno.
Also on page 11, in the second panel it looks like just the lower half of Phill is lying there.

mokuu: the art looks much cleaner, but the fonts are still not working with the art very well.

dude, really?
listen man,
you've got a lot of talent,
and its a shame that you gotta waste it on being a spiteful and immature dude...
i really don't want to threaten to kick you off or anything,
but i'm sure you of all people understand that we don't get paid to put up with this type of behavior, ya know?

what i am gonna do is extend an olive branch to you,
and offer you to do something that WILL get you paid.
if you want to get paid to do comics man, email me okay?
galviin@gmail.com

Lovely way to delete my messages, keep it up.

(whatever you imagine is a lot more interesting and juicy than the reality, which is just tragic and dumb)

Jesus christ...I seriously wanna know what this drama is...it sounds so juicy and interesting...

no big points for story, carlito, but this is your best yet artwise. you have a tendency to draw squished heads. that was the one thing that really stuck out to me. like they never seen tall enough. the second & third thumbnails of your battle are prime example. it played out like an annotated version of the trailer. like a random collection of shots that you would only know the sequence had you seen the movie. showing more actions rather than summarizing a movie most people have seen would have been more interesting though i think. for instance, your character as johnny mo was pretty funny though. would have been funnier if you did the whole run up & scream bit. it's a bullshitty nuance sort of thing that would have pushed it further.

as for use of characters on the site, i think it's common courtesy to ask or at least give a heads up, but if something's submitted to the site, it's on here for fair use for on the site.

and since mokuu's wasn't actually a comic & more of a sounding board to bitch & moan & moan & bitch about things that happened like ages ago, it doesn't even warrant the time to leave a proper response.
still though. makes me wonder. is it a matter of being hung up on trivial internet matters or did it just take him that long to draw this? i mean are you listening to advice & slowing down? isn't that the suggestion that started all that? someone suggested you take your time & not rush & you got all pissy & huffy & turned it into drama. because if you started then & took all that time drawing this, then that's funny. if it is simply a matter of being hung up, then you did little more than play up what was said about you in that text bit.

Well, they are her characters... it never hurts to ask.

The only person that'd get worked up over a cameo of their character is Nightmare.

Well it never hurts to ask permission but I personally didn't mind Carlito using Angie without it. Most people around here are pretty cool about their characters being used as long as it's not in a hurtful way.

Mokuu: Wow what an incredible shame.  I saw the artwork on the thumbs and had good hopes for the comic, but the content... I actually stopped reading it half way through deciding I don't need that kind of drama in my life. Though I wanted to give you a fair shake and went back and read it all after reading Carlito's and saw that the comic only got more dramatic and not in a good way.   Amazingdavid made all the comments on how you need to improve that I was going to make so, there's no need for me to reiterate it.

Carlito: I've never seen Kill Bill so to me the comic made no sense and I couldn't figure out why you were using Angie as your main character when she belongs to someone else. I get having other peoples chars make cameo appearances but totally didn't understand why she was your main char. Angieness took it well but you might want to reconsider using other peoples characters for a full comic rather than just a cameo, others might not take it so well. Your black and white work was pretty good though so thumbs up there.

Mokuu, was the attack of the Redblood Ninjas a parody of yourself? If so I found it pretty funny.

what the hell is this drama?  Was this before I joined...seriously I didn't realize Mokuu was making fun of someone until the texting thing...meh...I guess I'm out of the loop...

artwise I think both of these comics showed much improvement from previous entries. Both of you guys need to work on consistency in your styles which because they are very unique it is very easy to notice these inconsistencies. Both of you need to work on anatomy the positive is it looks like you both HAVE been working on anatomy so keep it up.

Mokuu - Spellcheck homie.."indivituals" ...simple errors become GLARING when it takes a reader out of the story. As reader I know if I see errors whether is be spelling or syntax or maybe your setting keeps changing or anything...it takes me immediately out of the little universe you have created for me and the suspension of disbelief is lost...and it is very hard to get back. Also work on your lettering  Dafont.com and Blambot.com all have amazing free fonts that could help your comics move to the next level.  Also work on your leading and kerning the type is fitting all wonky into the boxes you create.  If you wanna PM me we can talk about it further.  I'm by far from the best letterer but I can let you know what I do know.

Carlito - I think the art was strong on this..the story not so much, I felt like I was slogging through the story simple because I knew what was going to happen next. what I did find helped me through it was wondering what void characters you would use to fill into the KB roles. Work on your perspective...its a bit weird mate.

that be all

I dont post alot, sorry to voiders for that, because I know how helpfull it is to me, so I wil try to be more cocnsisstant with crits,l starting  here because I agree strongly with angie's post.
. I have followed your progress since you battled my boy Dreds and your artwork has improved greatly. I see you picking up alot of good tips on multiple levels including coloring, page layout, and dynamics. What your comics are still lacking is storytelling. Granted, it is not often that pros due both drawing abd writing on a reg basis, at the same time. The work that the artists/writers of this great city do- is double duty. Use that to focus on both. I have to give angie props, though I rank her among the best on this site in art quality and consistancy, waht I admire most about her craft is her dedication to a narrative. That is something I want to improve in my own work. I think your comic on this bout was sabataged by the personal lashingings. Forget all that mess, and dig deeper for a story that is yours. Ignore the haters-take the crits that you think will improve your craft and desregard the rest. This site is supposed to promote fun and learning, not drama and anomosity.
Just refocus yourself, I am sure you can rebound.

Carlito-
Decent b/w work. You are doing well at spotting your blacks and the inking is pretty good. There were some inconsistancies here and there- but overall I would say that your work is progressing well since your first appearance. I like the omage as well, but not alot of points on originality. I think that you also need to refocus on a narriative the same as Mokuu, lets not forget that there are two sides to a good comic-if the writing and dialouge is uninteresting, the art will suffer.

Mokuu-This is your best looking comic yet. But unfortunately it's really overshadowed by the fact that you chose to use comics as a way to attack people. I think that you've really lost sight of what the site is about. It's a place to learn and to have fun. I don't care if a few bad apples have ruined your experience, it sucks that that happened, but the adult thing to do is to ignore it. You think I didn't get shit from people when I joined? I mean come on dude, I joined back when people with furry characters were the big thing to make fun of. I ignored it and it stopped. When your entire comic is just a venue to take shots at people, that's a serious problem. I'm not saying this as a mod, I can't tell you what you can or cannot make comics about on the site. I'm saying this as an avid reader that has read and voted on every comic the past 3 years. This kind of thing just isn't cool and isn't entertaining at all.

I know that there's a very good chance I'm just wasting my time typing this out, but it really needed to be said. I know that you wanted to battle me, but I can't battle someone I won't have fun battling. When I know my opponent is going to be using their comic to be mean and spiteful towards others, that's just not fun at all. I understand that this is hardly the first comic on the site to have a jab at others, but that doesn't make it right. (and in past comics it was rarely the entire focus of the whole comic) Please please try to make a comic that is meant to be genuinely entertaining in the future. If you think Void is only meant to be a place where artists make fun of one another, then this is not the place for you.

Carlito-your comic really caught me off guard, I didn't expect to see a whole comic of Angie kicking ass haha It looks like you're gaining confidence in your linework and the hatching is coming out very nice. It still looks like you're having some problems with consistency though, there were several panels where eyes randomly grew and shrunk from being realistic looking to being very cartoony. The solid blacks were great, but there were a lot of instances where the blacks on the characters blended into the blacks in the background. While the whole Kill Bill homage thing is hardly original, I think it worked because it kind of came out of nowhere and caught me off guard. Keep on practicing dude, you're showing improvements all the time.

° 3°

Mokuu, it was months ago, last YEAR, let it go.  You'll be happier just letting it go.

mokuu...do you just ingest a lot of sugar or caffeine all the time?  It's kinda like freakazoid with all the self referential jokes and fourth wall breaking, but the sort of bitter undertones take away from it all.  I guess it's funny but in way that only you can laugh.  I'm not trying to be insulting, but that's what I get from this.  And frankly, your text is atrocious.  And it's like you didn't even proofread, did you just give up like at the beginning?

carlito, this was pretty good and I liked it a lot.  And while it may not have been your original intention, I guess this became a sort of David Carradine farewell.  

Carlito, not bad! I kind of wish it'd been longer but the artwork was nice! Good memorial.


Mokuu, isn't it weird how unfunny jokes don't get funnier months later? Try drawing a comic some time.

pretty enjoyable, Carlito

UPLOADED

Thanks for reading.

nice! good luck you two!

I like where this is going

Thanks for reading.

fight fight fight!

go go go!