Iced Tea - I like the ambition for a 1-week story, but I think next time you should plan for a shorter comic. That way you will have time to make the art look really finished. That said I thought the story was cute and you definitely can make an interesting tale! The character designs were attractive, but did not stand out as unique or interesting. Try varying some the figures once in a while, adding visual hooks like unique clothes or hairstyles (to the supporting cast I mean). I like how this continues on from your last comics, and I'm interested in seeing where Dao's story goes!
Taylor - Though brief, I thought your comic looked really polished and the colors were quite attractive! I think you've really advanced in terms of making your characters expressive, both facial and physical expressiveness. Luckily for a long fight scene, the action flowed really well. The characters in the foreground were great but I think the vehicles were too rough for my liking--but hopefully with a longer deadline you could work that out. For a one weeker, it was well done!
Dao vs. Tsumi
Critiques & Comments
# 9
Posted:
Jul 7 2013, 05:05 PM
# 8
Posted:
Jul 6 2013, 08:32 PM
Iced Tea -
I really like that green you chose for the line art. This was a crazy amount of pages to try and do in a week, and if anything I bring up is just cause of the deadline, just ignore it.
Are the unfinished pages a good representation of what you put on a page before you start drawing? Instead of these massed out figures, consider starting with a more dynamic stick figure you can build off of, and use geometric shapes with general guidlines, like what you do with heads. The only spot you seemed to try this was the bottom of page 8, when you were setting up a difficult pose/angle. Try to approach all figures this way, no matter how comfortable with them you might be.
You also need more variety in how you shoot/pose your characters. You almost exclusively show dudes at right angles, and even then most of those shots are strait on.
OtakuTaylor -
Your rendering is often too soft and indistinct. Be more confident with your shadows and lights. You're working digitally so you can always just backstep if you mess up.
Your poses are still kinda static. You need to exaggerate the motion in your dudes more. Check out the principles of animation, going back to that stuff always helps me think about action in my art cause I'm just strait up terrible at it. Have your character twist and throw themselves into their movements. Stretch and deform their bodies to accentuate what's going on. Establish a strong line of action when you're first dropping the pose down, and follow it as closely as you can.
You're totally improving in leaps and bounds dude. Soon I'm not gonna have anything to say in these comment boxes, just awe-induced babbling.
I really like that green you chose for the line art. This was a crazy amount of pages to try and do in a week, and if anything I bring up is just cause of the deadline, just ignore it.
Are the unfinished pages a good representation of what you put on a page before you start drawing? Instead of these massed out figures, consider starting with a more dynamic stick figure you can build off of, and use geometric shapes with general guidlines, like what you do with heads. The only spot you seemed to try this was the bottom of page 8, when you were setting up a difficult pose/angle. Try to approach all figures this way, no matter how comfortable with them you might be.
You also need more variety in how you shoot/pose your characters. You almost exclusively show dudes at right angles, and even then most of those shots are strait on.
OtakuTaylor -
Your rendering is often too soft and indistinct. Be more confident with your shadows and lights. You're working digitally so you can always just backstep if you mess up.
Your poses are still kinda static. You need to exaggerate the motion in your dudes more. Check out the principles of animation, going back to that stuff always helps me think about action in my art cause I'm just strait up terrible at it. Have your character twist and throw themselves into their movements. Stretch and deform their bodies to accentuate what's going on. Establish a strong line of action when you're first dropping the pose down, and follow it as closely as you can.
You're totally improving in leaps and bounds dude. Soon I'm not gonna have anything to say in these comment boxes, just awe-induced babbling.
# 7
Posted:
Jul 3 2013, 06:01 PM
It's cool that you both found clever enough ways of using Dao's situation to your advantage.
Iced Tea: this feels pretty rushed, and it looks like you ran out of time as well. The figures seem well enough sure, but since it's very loose lines the unfinished feel gives a serious dip in quality. BUT, I am very glad that you decided to fill out all the word bubbles anyway, because we still have a complete story here, and that gives you points on entertainment. Better luck next time!
Otakytaylor: WHAT THE SHIT MAN, in just two comics you leveled up over 9,000! This is a great improvement! your expressions and figures and just everything in general gets better each time, just keep it up and who knows where you'll be next comic! One thing you need to pay more attention to IMO is shadows. Since they're so high in the sky the sun should be hitting them with some good shadows that we see very very little of here.
Iced Tea: this feels pretty rushed, and it looks like you ran out of time as well. The figures seem well enough sure, but since it's very loose lines the unfinished feel gives a serious dip in quality. BUT, I am very glad that you decided to fill out all the word bubbles anyway, because we still have a complete story here, and that gives you points on entertainment. Better luck next time!
Otakytaylor: WHAT THE SHIT MAN, in just two comics you leveled up over 9,000! This is a great improvement! your expressions and figures and just everything in general gets better each time, just keep it up and who knows where you'll be next comic! One thing you need to pay more attention to IMO is shadows. Since they're so high in the sky the sun should be hitting them with some good shadows that we see very very little of here.
# 6
Posted:
Jul 3 2013, 10:07 AM
fai: a shame you couldn't finish, you may have gotten a bit too ambitious trying to do 12 pages in one week.
taylor: the lack of a defining shadows at your character's feet make them look a little floaty. next time try making the shadow darker to help ground them.
taylor: the lack of a defining shadows at your character's feet make them look a little floaty. next time try making the shadow darker to help ground them.
# 5
Posted:
Jun 30 2013, 11:51 PM
Yeah, uploaded.
# 4
Posted:
Jun 30 2013, 03:25 PM
Finished, Uploaded, and finally going to bed. Hope it goes up ok!
# 3
Posted:
Jun 24 2013, 04:19 PM
SHUT UP TAYLOR IMMA OWN YOU PREPARE TO RISE TO THE TOP 1ST PLACE BETTER GET READY TO CHAMP
# 2
Posted:
Jun 23 2013, 04:31 PM
what's this reverse-trashtalk hullabaloo?
# 1
Posted:
Jun 23 2013, 03:41 PM
Ah man, I am gonna lose so hard. I'm fail all over the place and there ain't nothing you can do about it Iced. You gonna win by a landslide.
Regular Match
Drawing Time:
1 week
Ended:
Jul 7th, 2013
Votes Cast:
24
Page Views:
1765
Winner:
otakutaylor
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Thanks again Taylor for the match. I had fun. I loved your side of it.