A Refreshing Two-Page Tussle! / Merry Softshoe vs. Dauber Pauper

A Refreshing Two-Page Tussle! — Merry Softshoe vs. Dauber Pauper

by Pita

52.8%
576 points
Page 1Page 2

Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques

47.2%
515 points
Page 1Page 2

Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques



Critiques & Comments
Please register or log in to comment


ArtsandGoodies
Think Tank
icon
215 comments
# 8   Posted: Jun 30 2019, 11:08 PM
Pita: I love merry comics and this punchline was super cute. You expressions are on point and i always like your inks. My only crit I think there could have been some more done for the impact of disappointment for the ice cream reveal on panel 2 page two. I think this is becuase there is white behind some of the other panels so the white background on panel 2 doesn't feel as nothing as it should.

Blitz: I love your style and your expression, all your characters have a good amount of unique character. My main cirt would be that your word bubbles are pretty inconsistent and a bit distracting. It seems you do them freehand I would recommend trying a polyline/spline tool to make them so they are a bit more uniform, also the word tails should trail off and thin out from the bubble to the character. Other than that I find your art solid and your stylization enjoyable.

Flutterbyes
Artist
icon
174 comments
# 7   Posted: Jun 29 2019, 05:27 PM
Pita: Oh, poor Merry. He's always in a sweater and he's contractually obligated to keep it. Short and sweet, a classic summer gag told in charming pastels. I don't know if this is the best critique, but I feel like the pop could have looked goofier.

Therealbirbblitz: I'm loving your modern cartooning. You not only go through all the emotions, but make all of them look completely different and unexpected. I feel like something isn't guiding my eye properly, but I'm not sure what. I do notice that sometimes your characters hug the panel borders.

Kozispoon
Approval Committee
icon
1045 comments
# 6   Posted: Jun 29 2019, 12:26 AM
PITA- I think for me this was the clear winner here. Great art, good comedic set up and the punchline packed a wallop- literally! Great job. I think by way of crit, is really to start punching things up. Really go ham on that ice cream to the face impact, or when Merry is excitedly accepting the cold treat, really make him ecstatic- he's a toon. No better character to go overboard with driving all that emoting home.

 THEREALBIRBBLITZ- I super dig your stylized look to not only Dauber, but all your opponents. It's always a real treat to see how they'll come out and Merry is no exception. He looks super rad. You had some great moments to set up some funny moments and punchlines, but they never seemed to come to fruition. Like, especially on the top of page two where Dauber leans in to make a deal with Merry- that would've been a great time to give Merry a sneaky glint or or build to a scheming reaction, but we just get a black panel to denote the passage of time which kinda kills the set up for me.

Badger
Artist
icon
30 comments
# 5   Posted: Jun 27 2019, 12:04 AM
Pita: This was hilarious, the punchline were super well done and the expressions are great and add a lot! Your colors are really nice as well!

Blitz: I love Dauber so much hahahh its always fun seeing the schemes he comes up with! Watch out for the speech bubbles and tangents- there’s a tangent on page 2 panel 4 with the tail and the puff effect (I forget what they’re called lol) where they overlap. I really like your style, its super unique and fun, I hope to see more!

Fearn
Artist
icon
348 comments
# 4   Posted: Jun 24 2019, 02:21 AM
Pita: excellently paced little comic. Well timed punchline, and the melting ice cream face made me giggle. A +++ ;)

Therealbirbblitz: Again, good pacing! Although story wasn’t quite as riveting ;) Panel layouts: great! Good variety and sizes, and that black panel breaking up the time on page two: also great. I want to ask you about one thing tho: what goes inside the panels seems a bit strange compositionally. It is on purpose that page 2 panel 3 the hand is sticking out? And the angel 4, the ears of the sheep are cut off, that just looks kinda off to me - it looks like an accident rather than done on purpose. Similarly on page 1, the last panel works because the big guy is so big that he doesn’t fit in the panel, but when you do the same perspective thing with the previous panel it doesn’t work as well because the other character is not as big. Kinda same on page 1, panel 4 where the sheep is on the edge, that is just like bad composition. I see that you are using digital tools, and it shouldn’t be so hard to fix this up when you pencil. But also: color scheme: great!

ALSO BOTH good to see some SHORT comics on Void, it feels like people here have tendency of going “quantity=quality” and you both show that is just not necessarily the case!

Pita
Think Tank
icon
168 comments
# 3   Posted: Jun 22 2019, 08:35 PM
Pages are uploaded!

I literally issued this challenge for two reasons--
- focusing on a smaller page count will allow me to focus on the quality of the pages
- I wanted to make one dumb joke and Dauber was the best option to do it with

      Edited Jun 22 2019,  08:36 PM by Pita

kubo
Artist
icon
54 comments
# 2   Posted: Jun 22 2019, 03:17 PM
Heck yeah! I can't wait!

Kozispoon
Approval Committee
icon
1045 comments
# 1   Posted: Jun 19 2019, 04:34 AM
These ice cold hijinks are about to get zany!

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 1 week
Ended: Jun 30th, 2019
Votes Cast: 25
Page Views: 299
Winner: Pita
 

Add to Playlist -

 
 

Newest Comments -


Newest Characters -

 
DairyuRae and BlueCharlie Rosenberg"Faceless" FurioIrene VilanovaHajire Cloud & BeamSteinBombotCount BurmeisterVincent VasquezKoop & El Cuervo JR.Aiden
 

Open Challenges -

 
No open challenges
Create a new challenge
 

Random Comic -



Latest Topics -

 
All News, All The Time 
Last updated: Staff Bot - Jul 16, 2019, 10:43 AM
The June-July 2019 Blind Date Jam 
Last updated: G.Lo - Jul 16, 2019, 08:20 AM
BOOTCAMP ROUND ROBIN EVENT Signup Thread 
Last updated: Orion - Jul 16, 2019, 12:20 AM
Hello to everyone 
Last updated: ruti - Jul 12, 2019, 04:44 AM
Nohara's Charas 
Last updated: Evi - Jul 10, 2019, 07:25 AM
 

Latest Members -


Users online -

 
83 Guests, 4 Users


[] [Think Tank]

Most Online Today: 120.
Most Online Ever: 1,050 (Aug 30, 2015, 02:43 AM)

 

Original site Copyright 2002-2017 Kevin Birtcher All characters and content Copyright 2002-2017 their respective owners Theme by SMFTricks - Modified by Brittney Scott & Jordan Bobo