Intro Story / Gold

Intro Story — Gold


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Critiques & Comments
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kubo
Artist
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41 comments
# 11   Posted: May 13 2019, 04:56 PM
Congrats on getting you first character into Void! This truly is a puuurecious intro comic! It’s not only a complete story but it allows your character to shine and show us all who they are in only three pages. If I were to comment on anything it is the dialogue. It’s a bit hard to read and would benefit from either a rewrite or a handwriting font. While I loved your caricatures, I think some of your background could get some of that love too. Cityscapes can be rough and tedious but it can make or break a scene. Most of these look like they needed just a little more time on them and they would be really solid. Saying that, the first panel of page three is WONDERFUL. I love that sunset! I’m excited to see your future comics and hope to battle you soon!

Pennydox
Artist
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235 comments
# 10   Posted: May 10 2019, 01:33 PM
Hello, welcome to void!
Since your profile says you're new to comics, I think the best way to enjoy drawing comics is to draw something you enjoy! I highly suggest you take full advantage of your zoology knowledge to the fullest when working with your void comics when you challenge others. It will not only make for entertaining, unique battles, but will also help you advance in your own studies in a way that is both entertaining and satisfying.
You have pretty good handwriting for comics, but the brush you chose to write it in for this comic was a bit hazy and made it a little difficult to read--I would highly suggest trying a more crisp brush in the future (you can keep the same brush for the word bubbles though, they look alright to me, but it's up to you).
Keep up the good work, and I'm sure you'll improve!

Astrodile
Artist
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93 comments
# 9   Posted: May 8 2019, 09:34 PM
Heyyy welcome to void, and congrats on getting that intro in so quickly, I'm real proud of ya! In terms of writing, this is pretty solid in delivering the gist of this character and how they act on the surface level, I'm definitely looking forward to seeing what you do in the future with Gold!

As others have already mentioned, I would really love to see you push environment work some more-- There's definitely potential as seen in that first panel of page 3 (Which is my favorite by the way, besides the sequence of Gold pulling the sleeve up in the end!), I'd love to see that same potential capitalized upon in future comics. I'd also hope to see more full bodies out of you, as there are only really 2 full body shots within this comic and neither of them are even of Gold; While only drawing specific parts of the body can really save time with comics, full bodies really help to establish the placement and even character personality if one can get a groove going with it.

But regardless, wonderful work Cydork! Can't wait to see more of your work, and definitely would love to battle you eventually!!

Badger
Artist
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18 comments
# 8   Posted: May 8 2019, 05:54 PM
Good stuff!! I love the last couple panels showing all the watches. I agree that the handwriting was a bit hard to read at times, a font would be a good choice but if you want to keep handwriting it just needs to  be a bit clearer, like spacing out the letters a little bit more. On my first read, I confused the reading order a little bit on the first panel on page 2, my eyes went from left to right reading the top bubbles first; maybe if the “that’s easy” bubble was a little closer to the previous one it would be clearer? I also remember you were asking about the pencil brush that you used, and I like the texture it has, it goes nicely with the soft colors. Although I would always recommend experimenting and trying out other pencil brushes to see what works! Seeing Gold’s bio I really like how his shapeshifting colors change depending on his clothes, and his motivation is really interesting to me so I’m excited to see more of him!!

Elyan
Artist
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57 comments
# 7   Posted: May 7 2019, 11:21 PM
greatly done! i am looking forward to your improvement (and your future font choice ;D )
i think you are off a really good start here. looking forward to your battles and how you handle your opponents.

SnowyMoth
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1 comment
# 6   Posted: May 7 2019, 10:22 PM
I love him, he seems like a fun character! The text was a bit difficult to read, but overall I really liked the intro. ( :

ArtsandGoodies
Think Tank
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178 comments
# 5   Posted: May 7 2019, 07:51 PM
congrats on getting him in, this intro has a great pacing and I like what you did the panels in this. the final part with all the different watches was great. I also personally like the pencil line you used for the characters. Though I think you can push it more and add some more variety in the darkness and width of the lines. One thing you could try doing is duplicating the line art layer since with this type of chalkeyness it will make the duplicate make the lines look darker. You can also erase some of the lines on this duplicate layer so that the parts that stay have darker lines. I would also say you should use a font instead of handwriting as that will be easier and make it clearer to read (though you're handwritting is good and clear), you could even look into making your own font I think it would be worth it to spare time and possible writing strain.

zee
Artist
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129 comments
# 4   Posted: May 6 2019, 09:38 PM
Wonderful job!
I really want to compliment your pacing, each panel feels appropriately "timed" with the layout/ composition, it's all very easy to follow.
The reveal at the end got a chuckle out of me.
Can't wait to see more!

Happy May 19th! -Reecer6
Artist
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239 comments
# 3   Posted: May 6 2019, 08:46 PM
Yo, this is a real nice entry into void! Your lines are good, you have some real nice facial diversity, you got some interesting compositional choices, and your lighting is really nice if subtle! I think you can push that a little more than you have here and create even more vibrant environments if you want, though. Also, the handwriting is hard to read in places? This was still a fun read and Void always needs some good petty criminals! Excited to see what you've got in the future!

Desichan
Think Tank
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179 comments
# 2   Posted: May 6 2019, 02:10 PM
IM SO GLAD YA BOI IS IN IM SO HYPE TO FITE!!!!

Also just wanna say, love the comic, I feel like the way you draw Gold has a lot of life to it, and that this was a really nice comic setup! I got a bit confused on the second page, near the bottom when it showed his human eyes next to his cat eyes. Made be unsure when he became a cat, or if he turned back into a human, or what? After awhile I realized it was just showcasing that he had become that cat, this wasnt the clearest and did confuse me but else than that the comic felt pretty clear.

I think you did absolutely great, if anything, it may go to your advantage to try putting some more love into things else than your character, but otherwise very good comic, very good character, hype to see more (especially in our battle!)

yarnwitch
Think Tank
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276 comments
# 1   Posted: May 6 2019, 01:51 PM
AHHHHHH!!! ❤️❤️
I really love this kid. Can't wait to see him in some fights!

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Ended: May 13th, 2019
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