Tag Team Magical Girl Death Tournament, Round 2

Tag Team Magical Girl Death Tournament, Round 2

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SirJellyRaptor
Artist
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50 comments
# 2   Posted: Mar 20 2019, 10:34 AM
I think I have a few of the same complaints about this one as the last one. First of all, there are some panels, like page 3 panel 1, that would really benefit from pulling the camera out a bit. We wanna see more than just Faustina's head there. And then when she gets slammed into the ground in page 3 panel 2 the follow up image is on the next page after a cutaway when it would read a lot better if it was directly after the panel where the slamming happens. You're still having issues getting the setting across, the bottom of page 2 being the only real clear view we have of where they are. Even then then info feels conflicting. The lack of windows and features on the buildings makes this feel like a back alley but the street setup shows that these are main roads. I do like the focus on action and the use of dynamic poses in this comic. From a writting standpoint I only have two real issues. The first is the mention of the magic tournament from Kent and Tensho's last round, and it's cool to try and bring that into your own comic, but only of the tournament is gonna be important. Prod brushes it off Immediately and I get the feeling it's never gonna be brought up again, which means it would be better if you didn't add it at all since it really doesn't add anything at that point. The other thing is more of a personal nitpick. I like how it's stated that Passion could potentially lose the fight, and I honestly would have liked to see her struggle more in the comic. Your opponent only really get one hit in on you so we don't really get a sense of how even this fight is supposed to be. And I feel like I fundamentally disagree with a 100% chance of victory calculation. It makes for.a.much better story when theres a threat of losing for the protagonist. If Passion and Logics are guaranteed to win if they work together then any tension you have built up in the story is immediately gone because we have just been informed that the outcome of this battle was set from the start

Bobo
Web Dev
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873 comments
# 1   Posted: Mar 20 2019, 07:32 AM
Unfortunately, Kent and Tensho failed to include their opponents dying and had to be force defaulted.

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      Edited Mar 20 2019,  07:33 AM by Bobo

Comic Details -

 
Type: Death Match
Drawing Time: 2 weeks
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