Intro Story / Mona-Lisa

Intro Story — Mona-Lisa


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ArtsandGoodies
Think Tank
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178 comments
# 8   Posted: Feb 25 2019, 10:16 PM
Congrats on getting her in. I will say I do like that you started to put some shading on the characters which isn't something i noticed in yoru previous comics, so i hope to see you do it more and work on that more and practice lighting techniques having the light go down the figure in the correct ways. I will say i do wish there was at least one good establishing shot in this comic, most all the shots are halfbodies or close ups with the few full body shots cutting off at the legs and not zooming out enough to give us a good sense of the place and where they actually are. You had some good far out shots in your previous comics so this feels a bit like a step back in this sense, I do want to see you work more on the backgrounds in your future comics and good luck with this character.

Julz
Artist
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370 comments
# 7   Posted: Feb 24 2019, 02:02 PM
Agreeing wiith Kozi. Also I feel like you can do better than this level of quality and I hope to see more depth to this character than what's on the exterior shown here. The art seemed a little lazy (lack of backgrounds and loose line-art) and imo the jeckyll-hyde trope is so overwhelmingly common (even I'm guilty of the trope) I'm just not that excited about it.

Kozispoon
Approval Committee
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1006 comments
# 6   Posted: Feb 21 2019, 08:03 PM
Its toon invasion. The ghosts of technicolor past have come to whoop us silly! XD

Glad to see you pull in a legit baddie to the void fray. I'll echo what I said during approvals that I think your time here on void should be producing better quality comics without the mistakes and hiccups a true newcomer would make. This feels kind of throw away and by the numbers for an intro. I definitely hope that's just a product of intro comic senioritis and you jack up the quality on all fronts in your first battle.

yarnwitch
Think Tank
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276 comments
# 5   Posted: Feb 19 2019, 06:57 PM
Yay! Welcome to void, monalisa!
did her arm come off and i just missed it? the last panel confused me a bit
but i love this overall. good job mrpr!

Pita
Think Tank
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158 comments
# 4   Posted: Feb 18 2019, 06:14 PM
She has


arrived

Heathen
Artist
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295 comments
# 3   Posted: Feb 18 2019, 05:46 PM
I really like the darker, less saturated color palette you’ve used here, and the shading is a nice touch. Overall, the art just had a nicer quality to it than I’m used to, maybe the lines are less jaggy? I also didn’t really notice any typos or wonky dialog, so good job on the writing. My main critique would be to work on perspective and drawing more 3-dimensional spaces. It’s most noticeable in the last panel, where the street punk is supposed to be against the wall in the background behind her, but there’s no perspective or indication of depth, so it actually looks like a tiny corpse propped against a trash can in front of her.

As an intro though, this works great and I can’t wait to see what good and bad these girls will do!

Desichan
Think Tank
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179 comments
# 2   Posted: Feb 18 2019, 01:45 PM
Nice character I look forward to seeing more of em!

Quick mention, checking the bio it does seem like this condition stems from a mental illness, and i definitely recommend researching more into illnesses that cause multiple personalities if you're going to go that route. DID is the probably most common mental illness to cause such a thing, if you wanna know of any places to research about DID, this channel can provide a nice source on it https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCCkrAkJop-j4oAQb0sHBYrw/featured , and there's a lot of interesting things about how it functions that could help you do this character the best they could be if you're going the mental illness angle.

Overall i really love characters that can be very good on one end, versus very evil on another, so i definitely look forward to seeing more of these two! Good luck with your future battles with em!

Radji
Artist
icon
516 comments
# 1   Posted: Feb 18 2019, 01:31 PM
OH NOOOO THOSE POOR CORNER BOYS !!!
hahahaha i already like this lady

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Ended: Feb 25th, 2019
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