First Blood / Ghost vs. Rocio

First Blood — Ghost vs. Rocio

by Shen

48.4%
636 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3

Crit level: No preference

51.6%
677 points
Page 1

Crit level: No preference



Critiques & Comments
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Read Short & Sweet! -Reecer6
Artist
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236 comments
# 17   Posted: Feb 23 2019, 08:31 PM
I'm going to say right off the bat: I don't like the infinite scrolling format! I'm not allowed to be an old fogey because I'm younger than both of you but I really like the traditional format in an infinite canvas because it allows for a lot more dynamic compositional changes. Like, the structure works really well with how Rocio and Ghost plummeted through the sky in Pyras' comic, but since it's like. The standard flow. It doesn't feel special at all; it actually diminishes the energy of the scene. If the comic were in a traditional format up until then, and returned to it afterwards, that part would be ridiculously impactful and I would love it!! Also, the lack of horizontal movement at all feels super restrictive to my eyes. Like, okay, mobile devices are lame, and moving up and down is the easiest thing to do there, but that's really on them. Everyone should just go back to netbooks.

THAT SAID!

Shen: Props to trying out a dialogueless comic! There's a ton of real good action-y flow in this, and there's at least like, one real real real clever panel compositionally. AND THAT GOOORE. It's a joy to watch Ghost be such a dick in real time! But I feel like that's like, 50% of the comic, watching him smoulder at Rocio. We all want that, but I think it should be a bit more sparing across the comic.

Pyras: A mid-air action sequence is ALWAYS A REAL GOOD IDEA and I think you did it really well!! Also, the tension in the plane scene was super nice!! And I CONCUR that the image of Ghost parachuting down headless is SUPER STRONG, I love Rene Magritte. The art and shading in general is super nice; it's clear your lineless had been improving!

Hellis
Artist
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196 comments
# 16   Posted: Feb 23 2019, 03:01 PM
PyrasTerran:
That end panel made me chuckle pretty hard.
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I assume you mean the parachute descent and not Rocio's melancholy :V
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yes

PyrasTerran
Community Manager
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1404 comments
# 15   Posted: Feb 23 2019, 10:44 AM
That end panel made me chuckle pretty hard.
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I assume you mean the parachute descent and not Rocio's melancholy :V

Hellis
Artist
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196 comments
# 14   Posted: Feb 23 2019, 10:08 AM
Shen and Pyras: Most of the points i'd make and crits I have, have been covered better then I can. But I'lll try and adress y'all fantastic way anyway.

Shen: I love when silent comics are done right, and honest, the pacing, the mood, the greyscale is all worked very well with what you had. I enjoyed the hell out of it. I think just leaving her tied up without showing people show up would have worked even better, as it leaves the reader wondering what band end was awaiting her.

Pyras: Inspiring work, I really loved the long format for this, that is a really clever use of the webtoon format and utilizing its strengths to bolster the theme and narrative of the comic. That end panel made me chuckle pretty hard.

Kozispoon
Approval Committee
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1004 comments
# 13   Posted: Feb 21 2019, 08:15 PM
PYRAS-
I don't know why, but your setting was totally unexpected. We get so used to misadventures had within void city, its a breath of fresh air to see a tale being told someplace totally different.

This was a nice switcharoo. We start off so casual and I assumed this would be a slice of life get to know you comic, but then you whiz bang boom us with some bloodthirsty action. Of the two, I think Ghost's motivations were more clear as he spells them out. Rocio's a hit, and he's got to do the do. I do wish Rocio's realization she knew what Ghost was, was more nuanced. The pop from smiling and well meaning to murder felt so sudden. I half expected the original passenger to come into play here to build up the dread. Or perhaps a look back from Rocio to check on him. For her to just know felt kind of boring.

The magical and comic transition from plane to open free fall has to be my favorite bit. It utilizes the scroll down webtoon comic format wonderfully. Not to mention amps up the following events as they fall and the reader anxiously scroll down along with them. I'll echo what you've already heard which is why didnt Ghost turn into a chicken. It seemed almost perfect, except for the narrative you were trying to pull here. XD Also ayyy on baddies using sleeper holds on ladies. It seems to be the go to move this week, haha!

P.S. Was the original passenger next to Rocio meant to look like Petearvee?? IS HE DED DOE XD

Kozispoon
Approval Committee
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1004 comments
# 12   Posted: Feb 20 2019, 03:27 AM
SHEN-
You're really finding your groove with this vertical comic style. You're having fun with the flow of events. I love LOVE that scene where Ghost launches his cock rocket before landing on the other side. The composition of that tussle and beyond shows where you're comfortable and that's action and gore. Its clear those were your fav scenes since they seem to have that extra TLC and detail. Like, that visceral reveal of Ghost with half his torso hammered off? RADICAL. The pacing beats you added with his silhouette flying off, the impact and Rocio's two panel reaction are some great beats to give this moment some stillness and weight. Like damn, he got walloped. Did she win?

Also for such a short deadline the use of spot blacks was not only smart, but really gave this a more polished end result than expected. Some panels are really well developed and impactful. The frames that really stand out to me are the ones where Ghost's cigarette is the only light source and only raised planes of his face are highlighted.

You're part of a small group of voiders who like taking risks and trying something new. On a site where the aim is to win, experimenting and trying new things doesn't guarantee a win, but I love that you go for it anyway and show us something we wouldn't otherwise and might even enjoy taking a stab at ourselves. Way to bring it with this battle :D

yarnwitch
Think Tank
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270 comments
# 11   Posted: Feb 17 2019, 05:06 PM
Yooooooooo,
okay first off kudos on doin a silent comic, shen. It works out really well, and I like it a lot. Your first page felt like a lot of panel experimentation, like there was that one black box that i wasn't sure had a purpose? Maybe that's just me missing something. But it's cool to see experimentation like that.
I did read these in order, though and.
Pyras that's frickin' amazing!? I really love that you both went for tall format comics, and I am really digging it overall. Especially the falling sequence, that is just awesome.

Spoiler: character and writing notes which might just be a dumb personal bias? • show

I hope this doesn't come off as too weird? And if it does you can just ignore it as me having a weird preference, okay?

On a writing note, though i totally love the stories independently, one reason I didn't enjoy Shen's as much is that it used every single scrap of bad ending and shoved it into the first battle. Somehow, that is unfulfilling, since we haven't seen much of Rocio yet, even if it fits Ghost's character very well to do such a thing. Its a hard spot, and I anticipate I might be the only one with that particular preference, since I want to see more of BOTH, but only does one comic feel like a dead end. Rocio can't exist as her initial concept if those things come to pass, but if Ghost goes to jail, he lives a long long time and it seems reasonable that even if he's there for a while, void jail is crappy and he'll be out next week anyway, and if he wasn't, its not like he won't outlast it.


It does look like you both had a lot of fun doing these comics!!

Julz
Artist
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370 comments
# 10   Posted: Feb 17 2019, 05:03 PM
St. shen- You comic feels really hasty. The lines are super loose, lots of things could have really used some straight lines, like the rigs in the background. You also put so much faith in Ghost that you kind of lose sight of your opponent's strengths and weaknesses. I feel like Rocio could be any babe in void and it could have been the (almost) same story. The cigarettes are a creative idea, I love that he can light up a diff smoke for the ill effects. Ionno, I feel like this was kind of underwhelming though. I guess I had higher expectations for ghost than i anticipated.
Pyrass-  I like the color/texture, but sometimes the lines and perspective get a little shoddy. First read through i didn't notice the word bubbles were missing their tails XD I love her conflict resolution XD very creative way of exiting the plane. I really expected him to go full chicken and start flapping but he never did. I love the way this flows down as they fall. Cool end, felt like I was watching Crank or something.
AWESOME NICE JOB VERY COOL GOOD DOG

PyrasTerran
Community Manager
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1404 comments
# 9   Posted: Feb 17 2019, 01:51 PM
NOTE: between Panels 24 to 32 y’all may notice that all the word bubbles lack tails for a time. This was completely by accident, I forgot to add the tails while writing <_> I hope it doesn’t get too confusing and any of y’all can DM me afterwards for clarity if you need

Kevin Birtcher
Allfather
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289 comments
# 8   Posted: Feb 17 2019, 09:15 AM
Shen - At first, I was going through this pretty quickly and got a little confused.  So I started over, went more slowly, and then everything was clear.  Silent comics are hard to pull off, but you did a great job.  My only real crit would be that there's one panel - an overhead shot inside the shipping container - where the container looks quite small.  Even the small containers are 20 feet long.  Other than that, impressively done.

Pyras - Some missing puncuation and a few of the early word bubbles could have been connected for clarity, but overall, very well executed and original.

Radji
Artist
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512 comments
# 7   Posted: Feb 17 2019, 12:32 AM
hrrrnnng man this one will be difficult

I love Hong Kong noir movies and I love high speed actionneer

Shen: love the ambiance! very dark, somber, really remind me of some Korean or HongKongese noir movies, except without any bullet times (the absurdity of Gohst jumping and changing into a fucking rooster is cherry on top) and trap cigarette is one of fav gadget in comics.

Pyras:  Get off my plane ! haha. amongst the numerous epic arrivals in the city, this one is ballsy. "hello there! I arrive in your city hanging on a bleeding guy" with some nice tarantino-like lines of dialogue


HHHHNNNNNNNGGGGGG both so good. Can't decide

Shen
Global Moderator
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1262 comments
# 6   Posted: Feb 16 2019, 04:48 PM
Uploaded. I tried something a bit different with this one, something I don't normally do, I hope you guys like it!

yarnwitch
Think Tank
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270 comments
# 5   Posted: Feb 11 2019, 08:14 AM
*hyperventilating*

Julz
Artist
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370 comments
# 4   Posted: Feb 9 2019, 05:30 PM
Ooooh I'm super hyped. Rooting for both of you <3333

Alouisse Ver
Artist
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40 comments
# 3   Posted: Feb 9 2019, 02:37 PM
Looking forward to this match! I'm hYPEd!

Shen
Global Moderator
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1262 comments
# 2   Posted: Feb 8 2019, 01:31 PM
RETRIBUTION u goin down

PyrasTerran
Community Manager
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1404 comments
# 1   Posted: Feb 8 2019, 06:32 AM
RETRIBUTION

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 1 week
Ended: Feb 23rd, 2019
Votes Cast: 29
Page Views: 888
Winner: PyrasTerran

 

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