Intro Story / Dauber Pauper

Intro Story — Dauber Pauper


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Critiques & Comments
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yarnwitch
Think Tank
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244 comments
# 14   Posted: Jan 6 2019, 02:01 PM
Sorry for posting so late, but I do enjoy this character! I'm excited to see the shenanigans they'll get into!
YOU SHOULD FIGHT ALL THE HOBO CHARACTERS.

ArtsandGoodies
Think Tank
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135 comments
# 13   Posted: Jan 2 2019, 02:17 PM
This was a fun intro and a cool character. I really like the little lines on the all the characters, it adds a fun texture and stlye. You just need to work on the consistency of those lines and for more zoomed out shots maybe not have them there. On the top 2 panels of page the lines on the human look more like stripes on the outfit so smaller lines there would have worked better and read more as texture rather than an outfit design. I do wanna see that line thing on characters in more of your comics but i imagine it's a hard thing to keep consistent but it's fun looking and i like it.

Orion
Artist
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189 comments
# 12   Posted: Dec 30 2018, 10:03 PM
A morally bankrupt snowman with criminal tendencies? IN VOID? He must be in heaven!

Pretty solid on your shapes and character designs though it feels like like the overall work could use with some refinement in the lines and the shapes, shading and coloring while good need so tightening up. Try and work on laying out the characters with more interaction. You got some good timing and comedy chops but try and focus on how you use your camera shots to get reactions and interactions. The body language and expressions come through but look a little small with a lot of the background taking up the shots so play around with the back and forth inside of the panels as much as the beats between.

Altogether a lovely first outing and I can't wait to see more from you and this lovable snowy scoundrel!

TheRealBirbBlitz
Artist
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5 comments
# 11   Posted: Dec 30 2018, 02:37 PM
Okay so, idk if anyone else plans to comment, but I’ll reply to the ones here so far! Firstly, I’m really glad y’all like Dauber, it makes me happy with the warm reception he’s received, and I can assure you there’s plenty of snowy shenanigans I have planned for this snowman. Honestly I’m a rookie when it comes to making comics so I will take these critiques to heart and try to improve on them with whatever my next comic is, I appreciate the feedback and am honestly looking forward to improving my comic making skills! So thank you again for commenting!

P.S. yes his nose is an eggplant I’m so glad y’all caught onto that.

Heathen
Artist
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254 comments
# 10   Posted: Dec 28 2018, 11:41 PM
Great intro! My first thought was, "why are these gutters so wide?" You could draw like, 20% bigger if your panels weren't so far apart for no apparent reason. But that wasn't really an issue on the next 3 pages, which almost made it more vexing. When many people are viewing these comics on their phones or tablets, you really want to take advantage of every bit of page real estate you have for the actual artwork.

I can't wait to see what shenanigans this little snowbo gets into next.

Corn Of The Breads
Think Tank
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130 comments
# 9   Posted: Dec 27 2018, 07:00 PM
What a cool character haha, glad to see a fun whimsical character on the site.

FoolsEnigma
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4 comments
# 8   Posted: Dec 27 2018, 04:29 PM
I really like how the strong shapes and shadow lines make everything look kinda stitched! It seems very fitting for a snowman for some reason

Kozispoon
Approval Committee
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973 comments
# 7   Posted: Dec 27 2018, 11:19 AM
weird double post. IGNORE ME

      Edited Dec 27 2018,  11:20 AM by Kozispoon

Desichan
Think Tank
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159 comments
# 6   Posted: Dec 27 2018, 11:08 AM
tHIS SNOWMAN IS CUTE AND I LOVE HIM

Crocostyle
Artist
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33 comments
# 5   Posted: Dec 26 2018, 06:52 PM
Welcome aboard, Blitz!  Agree with Kozi, I also love the idea of the nose being an eggplant lol.  Overall, fun character. I look forward to seeing how he plays out. : )

Golden
Artist
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38 comments
# 4   Posted: Dec 26 2018, 03:31 PM
Really diggin' your color choices Blitz!
Others have touched on other good points, but I want to mention your bubbles could be a bit more consistent in line weight. I hope to see more from you, and Welcome to Void!

Kozispoon
Approval Committee
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973 comments
# 3   Posted: Dec 26 2018, 12:53 PM
Please, please let the nose be an eggplant. I love the idea of some granola hippie being Daubers Dr. Frankenstein. XD

The narrative here, while silly leaves me like ??? I think the better word is arbitrary. I'm all for gags if they have a good payoff, but I feel this didn't quite hit the mark. Even so, I'm curious to see how a snowman, post Christmas and winter is gonna fare in void. Welcome aboard!

KarmaLarma
Artist
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56 comments
# 2   Posted: Dec 26 2018, 11:04 AM
This snowman seems like a super fun character! Is his nose an eggplant instead of a carrot or is it just a big purple nose?

Pita already got my main concern with the layout. Comics are always read in a Z pattern. You read one row left to right, them move down to the far left of the next row and start reading, like lines in a book. So suddenly switching format for a page can be  confusing. The layout you used on that page would generally be used for showing two different events happening simultaneously (so the column on the left is one thing happening and the right is a separate chain of events).  Aside from that, you may want to avoid putting detail lines on things like eyeballs and teeth that are meant to be smooth, since it adds texture and has a strange effect like in the frames where you are zoomed out a bit from the human character. The lines in his eyes were larger than his pupils, making it a little confusing where he was looking.

I do really enjoy your style though with your use of very strong shapes and your sense of humor for this character! It's a good intro to his personality and how he reacts to different things like his scam going wrong for a minute there. I can't wait to see more comics with Dauber. :>

Pita
Think Tank
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151 comments
# 1   Posted: Dec 26 2018, 10:15 AM
Really digging this sort of UPA style you got with Dauber and his target.  I enjoyed the crude nod to the Rankin-Bass Frosty special, too--this is just the kind of snowman for Void City!

Page three is a bit jumbled with its flow--It took me a second read to get that I needed to go down the first column instead of across the page like the other pages in your intro.  That's more of a matter of re-arranging your content or speech bubbles than anything more critical.

My last suggestion would be to play around with the colors for your detail lines.  The outlines on your guys are great and help them stand out from the background, but the detail lines can look muddled against backdrops like the chained fence.  This isn't a hard suggestion, just something to consider when doing more with this guy.

And welcome to Void!  I look forward to seeing more snowy shenanigans from you!

      Edited Dec 26 2018,  10:15 AM by Pita

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Ended: Jan 2nd, 2019
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