Sumiko Nakatomi vs. Ma

Sumiko Nakatomi vs. Ma

35.8%
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Crit level: No critique desired, comments encouraged

64.2%
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Crit level: No critique desired, comments encouraged



Critiques & Comments
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Happy February 21st! -Reecer6
Artist
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227 comments
# 11   Posted: Dec 26 2018, 06:01 PM
Corn: Man, the line art feels so not you here it's silly. At least you fought against whatever was holding you own enough to put out a full colored story! Love seeing Ma not being actively evil and just real domestic. Also surprised that Sumiko is the first person to be a step ahead of the guy, like, ever. It's a nice humble little scene!

Yarn: damn that dastardly zuko!!!

ArtsandGoodies
Think Tank
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147 comments
# 10   Posted: Dec 23 2018, 04:49 PM
Yarn, it sucks life happened and when you come back i look forward to more of your stuff, I can see the ideas you had here were really cool and your stuff is always a treat

Corn: I hope this comic helped you deal with your art block. I do really like the liquid freezing and it saying fuck inside. I do also like someone tricking Ma and locking him out.  The interaction was cute, though i'm not sure if Ma is serious with that last line or just trying to save face, which does feel fitting since I feel like he would say that regardless of wheter it was true or not.

Hellis
Artist
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189 comments
# 9   Posted: Dec 23 2018, 05:19 AM
Feels like heathen touched upon everything I wanted to say for both parties. I am gonna say I enjoyed your comic Corn, and MA remains one of my favorite void chars.

Yarn: I know your gonna come back to murder all of us and I can't wait to see a reinvigorated you.

Kozispoon
Approval Committee
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984 comments
# 8   Posted: Dec 22 2018, 06:00 PM
Radji: well about everything have been said but i wanna add my two cents

The only detail that bothered me much in corn's part is that the dialogue was lacking any kind of Ma-brand of deviousness.
Quote

Now that you mention it, I totally agree! I thought the art was just different, but Ma's usual suave-ness and quips WERE totally missing =0

Radji
Artist
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506 comments
# 7   Posted: Dec 22 2018, 03:20 PM
well about everything have been said but i wanna add my two cents

The only detail that bothered me much in corn's part is that the dialogue was lacking any kind of Ma-brand of deviousness.

Heathen
Artist
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270 comments
# 6   Posted: Dec 22 2018, 12:33 PM
Yarn, sorry you couldn't see this one through. Definitely had something interesting going. Looks like you barely avoided a technical default by including the one brief shot of Ma's helmet. I know it can be hard to muster the enthusiasm for a failed battle, but if you're planning on taking some time away from void battles to work on your technique and production, you could use this comic as your practice subject and post it later as a beyond battle. Just don't be gone too long. Void needs you.

Corn, good job completing this comic. I also noted the seeming drop in art quality, but it's consistent throughout, so it does serve as a style choice. I like your use of overlapping panels in a couple places, particularly on the last page. I don't know if Ma was outside for hours, or if it's cold enough out there to flash freeze warm soup in seconds, but I found it amusing either way, and I like how you were mindful of how the liquid sits inside the bowl to show the ice melting, that could have been a tricky thing to get across. I like the establishing shots of the hotel interior, and your use of color to differentiate the inside from the outside. I would have liked to see less local color in the figures outside, though. Really wash everything in blue to emphasize the cold and dark, starkly contrasted by the warm yellow glow of the electric lights inside. I also want to see you work on your page layouts. You're not really having clarity issues, you're just giving way more space to things than necessary. You've got quarter-page panels showing a single character saying one line of dialog, or a door closing. You could condense Ma and Sumiko's entire conversation into 2 pages if you put more panels on the page. Your panel borders and gutters are also much thicker than  they need to be, and its kind of competing with the art a bit. Try knocking your panel borders down a few pixels and narrow your gutters a bit, and see how much space you have to work with. With more economic use of space, this comic could easily have been 3 or 4 pages. There really aren't many backgrounds to speak of here, which is made more apparent by how big the panels are. If you put more panels on the page for conversation scenes, you could get away with only drawing a background in one or two of them per page, and just rely more on shots of people's faces, hands, details in the environment, etc.

      Edited Dec 22 2018,  12:38 PM by Heathen

Corn Of The Breads
Think Tank
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130 comments
# 5   Posted: Dec 22 2018, 11:44 AM
Kozispoon: CORN- Was this a collab with another artist? Or perhaps a stab at a different style? I'm all for experimentation if that's the case, but this battle doesn't look at all like the caliber of work I'm used to seeing from you.
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Unfortunately Ive been in a real bad funk for a month or so with art block and I really wanted to take the battle to get me out of it and I think it helped I am just out of practice for some time I hope I can get back to where I want to be thank you for noticing.  

Kozispoon
Approval Committee
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984 comments
# 4   Posted: Dec 22 2018, 11:07 AM
CORN- Was this a collab with another artist? Or perhaps a stab at a different style? I'm all for experimentation if that's the case, but this battle doesn't look at all like the caliber of work I'm used to seeing from you. It seems simpler somehow- and I'm not sure if that's to account for speed/deadline or just to try something new.

Still, this was a cute interaction. It's nice to see a void opponent being a bit of a stinker and succeeding. Also, way to go, Ma. Get you some flirt on with the hostess ;D

Corn Of The Breads
Think Tank
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130 comments
# 3   Posted: Dec 19 2018, 08:54 PM
I had a fun time working on this comic Im sorry you had such a rough time Yarn I hope I did a good job with Sumiko

yarnwitch
Think Tank
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253 comments
# 2   Posted: Dec 18 2018, 09:12 PM
I had big plans, but it all fell apart when the fire nation attacked. I'll come out of hibernation in a few months.
Sorry corn, I owe you a rematch!

Astro Sean
Approval Committee
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306 comments
# 1   Posted: Dec 4 2018, 08:46 AM
I want some really mind altering comics from both of ya'll! Fuck me up fam...

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 2 weeks
Ended: Dec 26th, 2018
Votes Cast: 19
Page Views: 445
Winner: Corn Of The Breads

 

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