Disarmed / Capslock & Shift

Disarmed — Capslock & Shift

by Evi


77%
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Crit level: No preference



Critiques & Comments
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Viperchief
Artist
icon
196 comments
# 16   Posted: Dec 2 2018, 06:16 PM
This is my first time seeing your artwork so I'll just say I'm a fan and will be looking at the rest of your work.  Fantastic pacing in this and extremely relatable dialogue.  Is that MY Mechanic he just visited by chance?!  Love everything about this one, very polished all around.

Julz
Artist
icon
346 comments
# 15   Posted: Nov 29 2018, 08:32 PM
Wow, this is so well written and visually implemented. I love that your focusing on the writing aspect of things and you're killing it. It feels so tense, like Alien 2 when Ripley is dealing with shitty people you know XD no one's telling the truth here. It's very cool that you're doing this.

Evi
Artist
icon
110 comments
# 14   Posted: Nov 28 2018, 12:52 AM
Thank you so much for the feedback, everyone!! My focus for this BB was to write and see if I was able to convey enough of the intended emotions within a short 4 pages, I'm glad to hear I was successful! I really appreciate you all for reading my comic and hope you'll continue to enjoy my future comics with Capslock and Shift <3

      Edited Nov 28 2018,  01:43 AM by Evi

Astrodile
Artist
icon
80 comments
# 13   Posted: Nov 25 2018, 01:40 PM
AS YOU KNOW HAHA I have really NO problems with this comic, I think its a great leeway into the next character arc for Shift and an arc for improving these twos relationship as friends/robo-bros/etc. I love the use of mute/dull cool colors here, and of course the pun of the title of this comic reflecting Shifts own injury.
At first, I did have an issue of how the environment, especially in the last panel, lacks any personality that either of these two have, but I agree with Jay's comment of letting things be stark and still! It helps emphasize the atmosphere. Totally looking forward to more of these two's comics!!!

ArtsandGoodies
Think Tank
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113 comments
# 12   Posted: Nov 22 2018, 10:38 PM
This was a really good comic and i'm really interested to see where their story goes from here. I really like the overall tone of this being tense and build up for future events as well as showing hints of feelings below the surface. In terms of pacing the only thing i could say is the ending felt it came too soon after the action. I feel like the last panel is sort of in the middle  of Caps reaction to shift leaving. Maybe if the panel to the right of it was at the end or some kind of word bubble in there to give a better sense of enough time to pass to make it feel like this is his full reaction to the event. Other than that it was very good and i'm more invested in their story than I was before.

Hellis
Artist
icon
168 comments
# 11   Posted: Nov 21 2018, 05:03 PM
A pretty great comic. Wont say anything about the art other then I liked it.

Writing wise. You do a good job building the tension of it. The dismissive attitude of click towards Caps worries is very relatable for those of use who have been on either side of that situation I feel. Its ironically the most human our robotic friend have been in a way. Yet its distancing and somethings clearly amiss! Something about the end panel feel like it needed a little something. I get that its silent but it feels like something needs to punctuate that silence. The click of the door, a small effect. A little ambiance. But that's a minor detail.

Heathen
Artist
icon
236 comments
# 10   Posted: Nov 21 2018, 12:54 PM
I don’t see any glaring issues with the art here, so I have to ask, why would you make it a point to say not to critique the artwork? Yes, I’m critiquing your not wanting of critiques.

I loved the pacing and tone of this comic. The tension was palpable, and the ending was exactly how this scene should end.

He walks out the door.

The silence says enough.

See ya later.

yarnwitch
Think Tank
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233 comments
# 9   Posted: Nov 20 2018, 09:45 PM
YAY YOU'RE BACK!!!!
No art crits, noted.
The end is interesting. It left me hanging, as I'm sure it left capslock hanging. I wasn't expecting that type of ending, and I don't know if I enjoyed it per se, but it was effective in that... I just. REALLY WANT MORE.
The pacing was great. so great. teach me pacing please. ; _ ;

Bobo
Web Dev
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868 comments
# 8   Posted: Nov 20 2018, 06:42 PM
Astrodile: VERY BIG EYE EMOJIS EHERE
Very excited to see this one!!!
Quote
Some day, I'll get VOID to support actual emojis haha. Turns out it's actually a big deal to implement them, coding wise.

@Evi: It's always a great pleasure to see a new comic from you! I know you're not looking for art critique, so I just wanted to mention how much I love your backgrounds and all the detail you put into them while also keeping them simple enough not to distract from the characters interacting in the foreground. I felt the pacing and tone were perfect, and this comic's definitely got me hyped to see more of Shift's story in the future! You've got a perfect pair of characters here I LOVE THEM SO MUCH ;A;

Miss Jetster Fukken Jay ❤︎
Artist
icon
149 comments
# 7   Posted: Nov 20 2018, 03:06 PM
Evi, this is beautiful. The muted colours work well with the sparse feeling, and the bag creates just this beautiful visual metaphor, mwah. Plus that look on Shift's face as he leaves. It's hard to crit much in this - for instance, I could say 'put more details into your backgrounds', but the simplicity is like an Ikea catalogue, it lets things be stark and still. I wouldn't want more detail in the art. About the only thing I can pick up on is that you need some practice with drawing faces in profile - the fourth and fifth panels on page three are just a little offputting with the way Shift's features don't sit on his face quite right. I think going back to life studies and getting it to work with your style will be a neat challenge. Lovely, short, moody comic though.

Desichan
Think Tank
icon
154 comments
# 6   Posted: Nov 20 2018, 12:38 PM
YAY CAPSLOCK AND SHIFTTTT

SHIFT IS BEST CHARA 10/10 I CANT WAIT TO SEE WHERE ALL THIS GOES AND IM HECKA HYPE!!!

Shen
Global Moderator
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1240 comments
# 5   Posted: Nov 20 2018, 12:25 PM
I knew I was right to feel creeped out by Shift. Capslock is the only man for me. Love the twinge of darkness in the writing here, and the colours really help sell the atmosphere. Theres a lot going on here in so little! its exciting! I hope to see more!

PyrasTerran
Community Manager
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1392 comments
# 4   Posted: Nov 20 2018, 08:59 AM
good stuff, we've been getting lots of teases of Shift's dark side for a few comics now I'm excited to see where it leads~~

Radji
Artist
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483 comments
# 3   Posted: Nov 20 2018, 08:18 AM
it is strange to be able to...FEEL... the emotionnal tension in a situation where the protagonists are robots, plus one normally incapable of it. But it's well done. Art wise the colors and backgrounds blend in more with your characters then in some of your previous works

Astrodile
Artist
icon
80 comments
# 2   Posted: Nov 19 2018, 04:33 PM
VERY BIG EYE EMOJIS EHERE
Very excited to see this one!!!

Evi
Artist
icon
110 comments
# 1   Posted: Nov 19 2018, 04:32 PM
Figured I'd complete it before ATN, It's short but I hope you'll enjoy it :)
This BB is a *very late* follow-up of what happened after TTT, so I highly recommend reading TTT round 3 for context:
http://entervoid.com/view.php?id=5984&side=2&iid=1

I do not desire critique on the art for this particular comic, but I am curious to know if the tone and pacing worked for you guys. I'd love to know what your favorite panel was, too.

Any unanswered questions in this BB I'll be following them up in my future comics as this wasn't written to lead into ATN; Mortooncian is however free to take any inspiration from this if she wishes to do so!

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 1 week
Ended: Nov 26th, 2018
Votes Cast: 25
Page Views: 443

 

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