Eggs Made Me the Man I Am Today / Egg Dealer

Eggs Made Me the Man I Am Today — Egg Dealer


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Critiques & Comments
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BoogidiBzdo
Artist
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9 comments
# 16   Posted: Nov 27 2018, 12:06 AM
Thanks very much everyone! I try to improve everyday. Definitely have a lot to practice, but it’s always super fun. I appreciate the time everyone took to read my comic.

@Yarn: Yes, I would very much like to do a collab! Anytime.

Jiisuri
Artist
icon
131 comments
# 15   Posted: Nov 26 2018, 09:20 PM
Allow me to bring up my own take on the story. As far as storytelling technique goes, it's actually good with it's comedic bits and stuff (Even if I personally still don't find any humor in this, I can see where people with a difference sense of humor to me can find this funny). My problem is with the story itself and how, like, his transformation into the Egg Dealer has absolutely nothing to do with Snappy's characteristics, circumstances and... pretty much anything to do with the setup you made. Nothing is established at the beginning about WHY he is finding the beauty and power in eggs of all things after getting rammed with loads of eggs because the basis for comparison that is him seeing a pretty thicc girl doesn't even resemble an egg.

What I'm getting at is, absolutely nothing is explained about how his accident even lead to this transformation outside of "OH HE CALLED ME WEAK! I'M GONNA TURN YOU INTO AN EGG BECAUSE... EGGS!" For an origin story, it isn't really good. At least with, say, spiderman you had "Teenage guy gets bitten by radioactive spider", or with Punisher it's "Assholes killed my FAMILY, and I'm gonna punish criminals as revenge." Here, it really seems like a cop out that really really could have been a cool setup that is both whimsical and also mentally fulfilling.

As for the art quality itself, mainly an echo of the other critiques. You need to practice some fundamentals first before you exaggerate them for comedy. Something to consider: If everything is loud and whimsical, it becomes noise and nothing is loud and whimsical. For full comedic effect, contrast is important.

ArtsandGoodies
Think Tank
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113 comments
# 14   Posted: Nov 25 2018, 07:44 PM
I'm mainly repeating what i said in the vcast but I enjoyed this and am envious of how much you can produce.
Your improvement has been great and I love that you're working on implementing all the stuff people have been giving you advice on doing. This was fun and I want to see you go even further wacky in your writing and art. You can do even more stuff to make the other characters around egg dealer more insanity. For example on page the line "That's right I'm pretty damn strong" could have been something like "My student debt has made me stronger than you could possibly imagine!" also I would like to see more establishing shots and buildings so you can start making environments as crazy as your characters. You have done a bunch and I look forward to seeing more.

G.Lo
Artist
icon
77 comments
# 13   Posted: Nov 22 2018, 09:52 AM
Yes. Yes to all of this!! This story was fantastic and I was thoroughly entertained!

I agree with what’s been said already, but I’d like to bring up something else. Dem word balloons. Some of them are breaking into other panels uneccessarily, there’s little room for the words to breath, and having the tails actually go into the mouths was slightly off putting. When you break panels with a word balloon I tend to think of shouting or an excited remark. It also leads the eye from the panel the balloon broke into to the panel that the balloon originates from. There are a couple of instances in your comic where that doesn’t matter, but there’s really no reason for the balloon to be breaking into the 2nd panel of page 5, and pages 7, 14, and 16 my eyes went to the wrong panels. Definitely make sure to include your speech balloons when you’re composing your pages.

But dude, the Egg Dealer is friggin fantastic and I hope you treat us with more of his shinnanigans!

Astrodile
Artist
icon
80 comments
# 12   Posted: Nov 21 2018, 06:26 PM
The others took the words out of my mouth so I'm only left with good things to say: I love the comedy and I love this backstory, to a point that the egg with the butt just ripping a whole shit that is his current outfit left me like...Speechless. Like in a good way. I enjoy this character more and more because his wackiness a just a whole 'nother breath of fresh air. I'm ALWAYS gonna be looking forward to his comics, honestly.

I guess some tidbits I could add in is to just bring that camera out more often, we get two or three panels that establish the building that he's in, which is good, but for the most part a good quantity of the comic when in the hospital is just white bg or special effects filling it in, . You give a LOT of personality to Egg Dealer and have gotten better with NPC utilization as well-- I'd love to see you give personality/some more 'oomph' to the environments around him as well!

      Edited Nov 21 2018,  06:26 PM by Astrodile

Hellis
Artist
icon
168 comments
# 11   Posted: Nov 21 2018, 05:11 PM
Oh man. Where to begin. Eggdealer is such a odd, fantasticly insane idea. Yet its super void. I've been saying this for a while, but he reminds me of old void, and this is a good thing.

Personally,  I miss the supervillain/hero origin stories and narratives, and this plays into that. Your writing in this is legit making me laugh at times, I think its the fact that

you keep playing Egg Dealer as the only one seeing the beuty of eggs. so far its working, you might want to make sure not to get to comfy with that punchline thought, it feels like
it can become one-note.

Artwise: I'll echo Heathen here, Keep working on fundamentals like body shape and the like and keep the grind up. This was avery ambitious comic and you finished it. That is mad props.

Red
Council
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635 comments
# 10   Posted: Nov 21 2018, 09:27 AM
You’ve come such a long way art-wise since we first saw you. Keep working on your art, your stories are hilarious and amazing.

yarnwitch
Think Tank
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233 comments
# 9   Posted: Nov 20 2018, 08:55 PM
AhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Boogi you know I love this eggdealer. Thank you so much for the wonderful adventure in this story! I don't know how helpful it is, but I will definitely echo the critiques regarding anatomy. You seem to favor a more anime-type style, so I'd like to recommend cel-shading and soft-cel shading whenever you'd like to look into those things.

If you ever want to collab sometime, I have a few fun ideas! Thank you so much for bringing the egg dealer to void. I just. Cannot. Express my love for this dude.

Heathen
Artist
icon
236 comments
# 8   Posted: Nov 20 2018, 02:45 PM
Boogi, real talk. You’re showing us what you can do, and that you’ve got a great attitude, so I think you deserve real talk.

Your ambition outweighs your current skill level, and the fact that that doesn’t stop you is truly inspiring. But I have mixed feelings about the fact that your style seems to almost rely on a lack of real anatomical, spacial, and perspective knowledge, and it’s going to start getting in your way.

Your eye for dynamic poses, pacing, and the basics of comic storytelling are there, clearly. The absurdity is intentional, and I love it. But it’s also beguiling.

I think you need to do three things to really level up and grow. Learn basic perspective. Practice life drawing and indicating the form of 3-dimensional objects, and study Tex Avery cartoons.

You’re one of those people who has a handle on the basics of storytelling, and the work ethic to finish comics. That’s the hard stuff. So you have an advantage. Anyone can learn to draw.

Keep making comics. Keep challenging yourself. I’m egging you on.

Desichan
Think Tank
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154 comments
# 7   Posted: Nov 20 2018, 12:49 PM
Haha I feel like we have something in common. XD We both do ridiculously long page counts.

ANYWAY!!! I'd like to take some time to put in some critiques.

The story is very good for the character you have in place, fits what we expect from him to a T, and honestly anyone who does a comic of this length deserves 20 high fives so good job!!!

I think you need to work on your coloring and shading however. It looks like the only place you put effort into shading is the hair, and like you have very little grasp on the best methods of picking colors, and shading in ways that can bring depth! I'll link a few tutorials that should come in handy. https://www.deviantart.com/nsio/art/Nsio-Explains-Shading-Basics-647268365 https://www.deviantart.com/nsio/art/Nsio-explains-Understanding-3D-490847001 Nsio's tutorial archive btw is a goldmine so feel free to look through there.

Anyway alongside that, make sure to brush up on some color theory and figure out more of how colors work best together, doing so will super help you make colors that can accentuate the art as a whole in the future!

I actually liked your npc in this comic, which is a def improvement from the royale of before, and think ya deserve mega kudos. Keep doing your best and I know you'll be able to be amazing someday.

Radji
Artist
icon
483 comments
# 6   Posted: Nov 20 2018, 06:23 AM
by all things holy.
No other origin story would fit Egg Dealer. He is the one, the great anomaly. He shall scramble us all and make us love it.

Heathen
Artist
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236 comments
# 5   Posted: Nov 19 2018, 09:15 PM
It's almost here!  *vibrates*

      Edited Nov 19 2018,  09:15 PM by Heathen

Red
Council
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635 comments
# 4   Posted: Nov 19 2018, 04:40 PM
I am so hyped for this.

PyrasTerran
Community Manager
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1392 comments
# 3   Posted: Nov 19 2018, 04:38 PM
HAGGLER

Astrodile
Artist
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80 comments
# 2   Posted: Nov 19 2018, 04:26 PM
THE VOID ATE MY REPLY

BUT EITHER WAY,  no lie I'm looking forward to finding out what made the Egg Dealer who he is now?? Hello?

      Edited Nov 19 2018,  04:27 PM by Astrodile

BoogidiBzdo
Artist
icon
9 comments
# 1   Posted: Nov 19 2018, 04:22 PM
This is the backstory of the Egg Dealer. Hope you like , because I know I do! :)

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 1 week
Ended: Nov 26th, 2018
Votes Cast: 20
Page Views: 546

 

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