I LOVE THIS FORMAT. GOOD CALL. there's something about seeing 4 pages and getting the equivalent of 9 that just makes me feel like i got the best deal ever!!! ♥
I really don't have a lot of crits for this, and as much as i love your lineless style, i do really love to see these lines pop up too. I'm really invested in retribution now, and I really hope I can get to be a part of it. Poor arena!
OH. Something I should point out: your proportions for karrin were a bit off? In fact, if you hadn't TOLD me it was Karrin, I would have just assumed she was some rando. Not sure if that's helpful in any way, but Karrin's compactness and bulk is really key for her depiction, at least in my perception. I really loved this though. I need to stalk your comics and learn how you use words to move people.
Retribution - Breaking Point / Arena and Miller
Critiques & Comments
# 8
Posted:
Nov 20 2018, 09:40 PM
# 7
Posted:
Nov 20 2018, 12:32 AM
What you do in a week is amazing, this is a great comic both story-wise and artwise. I'm a sucker for limited color and what you do here is really awesome only adding color to certain things is great and something I want to learn how to do at some point.
The one crit I have is with the final shot referencing ghost in the shell. I don't feel you fully captured the magic of that scene. This would have been much stronger if we had scene arena full silhouetted with the being being an oppressive light and everything else fading to black, all the details of the background of the room take away from the scene as our eyes stray from the focus and see the blank room details. However this is a minor nitpick and I love the reference since it fit's perfectly for the situation. I want to see more references to Ghost in the shell now, like those slow panning shots of the city I would like to see try and be replicated in comic from for void. I'm not sure how it would be done but you do amazing things combining all these threads so I think you could do a great job with that.
The one crit I have is with the final shot referencing ghost in the shell. I don't feel you fully captured the magic of that scene. This would have been much stronger if we had scene arena full silhouetted with the being being an oppressive light and everything else fading to black, all the details of the background of the room take away from the scene as our eyes stray from the focus and see the blank room details. However this is a minor nitpick and I love the reference since it fit's perfectly for the situation. I want to see more references to Ghost in the shell now, like those slow panning shots of the city I would like to see try and be replicated in comic from for void. I'm not sure how it would be done but you do amazing things combining all these threads so I think you could do a great job with that.
# 6
Posted:
Nov 19 2018, 06:03 PM
I love the tone of this comic. The stakes are clear and present, the tensions between these characters and their fragile alliance. Kaleb's quietly menacing presence is fantastic, and he's just a really cool antagonist.
I was worried, looking at these pages, about the sheer amount of dialogue balloons, but I was fully engaged with it throughout.
Aside from a general lack of texture to the art, and some perspective issues, the only minor complaint I have with the layouts is that sometimes your gutters are really wide, or there's an overabundance of empty space between panels, where I feel like you could make better use of that space and make your panels bigger or overlap them to create a sense of depth and dynamism in the design. Obviously a comic like this needs to be timely, so considering the turnaround time and the fact that the comic reads well as it is, it's a nitpick to be sure.
I really like and respect how you've managed to orchestrate and connect the retribution event with these periodic comics. I know I'm not the only one who gets inspired to add my own threads to this web after reading a comic like this.
I was worried, looking at these pages, about the sheer amount of dialogue balloons, but I was fully engaged with it throughout.
Aside from a general lack of texture to the art, and some perspective issues, the only minor complaint I have with the layouts is that sometimes your gutters are really wide, or there's an overabundance of empty space between panels, where I feel like you could make better use of that space and make your panels bigger or overlap them to create a sense of depth and dynamism in the design. Obviously a comic like this needs to be timely, so considering the turnaround time and the fact that the comic reads well as it is, it's a nitpick to be sure.
I really like and respect how you've managed to orchestrate and connect the retribution event with these periodic comics. I know I'm not the only one who gets inspired to add my own threads to this web after reading a comic like this.
# 5
Posted:
Nov 19 2018, 05:42 PM
I love the perspective shot on page 3, worms eye view is really cool to see. I'm not sure if Serena looked in the same perspective or not but I know that's tricky to determine. Also the space station looks really organic. You could try to use more actual shapes and straight edges to fix that problem. It was prolly a pain in the ass to draw XD It looks awesome but the wavy lines bother me enough to say something. The tone feels good, composition is smooth, It's a great comic The draw time was only a week? This is very clean for that time-span, though I wish I could see it in your patented color style. *thumbs up*
# 4
Posted:
Nov 19 2018, 04:18 PM
Biiig fan of this one. But you allready know that.
Art is crip and clean. The dialogue is great and packs a sort of "heavyness to it." I'd argue that it could have ended with second page and be a super clean narrative comic with entirely different implications haha.
Art is crip and clean. The dialogue is great and packs a sort of "heavyness to it." I'd argue that it could have ended with second page and be a super clean narrative comic with entirely different implications haha.
# 3
Posted:
Nov 19 2018, 03:45 PM
Pyras my man! You did it again bro, and this time the level is off the charts, like, way way up man! Seriously congratulations for delivering a comic with this creativity level, + art, + a script which got me hooked from the beginning to the last balloon, and hence, IN A WEEK BRO? You're a beast!!
Right now i'm still in awe by the way you smoothly tied in several Void storylines from different characters and different artists, the overall product is this superb 4 pages bro!
Hey I'm a sort of a detail freak and I noticed Kaleb's cellphone's logo...can you confirm if it's the latest I-pineapple model ?Jokes aside, I'm glad that Arena still has Darth's contact with her...ya know, outer dimensional beings in VC/NVC must stick together !
Right now i'm still in awe by the way you smoothly tied in several Void storylines from different characters and different artists, the overall product is this superb 4 pages bro!
Hey I'm a sort of a detail freak and I noticed Kaleb's cellphone's logo...can you confirm if it's the latest I-pineapple model ?Jokes aside, I'm glad that Arena still has Darth's contact with her...ya know, outer dimensional beings in VC/NVC must stick together !
# 2
Posted:
Nov 19 2018, 07:56 AM
(inhale) *BOI*
i'm in a state of hype that even all hype train can't transport
I need to level up my own game.
Pyrras, i am on this train.
i'm in a state of hype that even all hype train can't transport
I need to level up my own game.
Pyrras, i am on this train.
# 1
Posted:
Nov 19 2018, 01:37 AM
Uploaded and ready to roll
The draw time was indeed within a week
This comic is connected to *A LOT*. To be able to fully appreciate it, you may need to have read and/or have some knowledge of the following:
MILLER:
-The Vekran Invasion
-The Collective council members
-Miller's death
ARENA:
-General comics since becoming police chief
-Up and down relationships with people, including Crikey Dile & others
RETRIBUTION BATTLES
-Including Veronica Nightingale/Minori's ULTIMATUM comic, which this is a pseudo sequel to
WIZZIE BELLES' LATEST COMIC
-Operation Papillion, particularly the space stations
GREECE
-Beyond Battle where he slaughters a police station
Sorry if that's too much, the comic is mostly for folks who are into all that lore stuff and closely following current Retribution event
The draw time was indeed within a week
This comic is connected to *A LOT*. To be able to fully appreciate it, you may need to have read and/or have some knowledge of the following:
MILLER:
-The Vekran Invasion
-The Collective council members
-Miller's death
ARENA:
-General comics since becoming police chief
-Up and down relationships with people, including Crikey Dile & others
RETRIBUTION BATTLES
-Including Veronica Nightingale/Minori's ULTIMATUM comic, which this is a pseudo sequel to
WIZZIE BELLES' LATEST COMIC
-Operation Papillion, particularly the space stations
GREECE
-Beyond Battle where he slaughters a police station
Sorry if that's too much, the comic is mostly for folks who are into all that lore stuff and closely following current Retribution event
Beyond Battle
Drawing Time:
1 week
Ended:
Nov 25th, 2018
Votes Cast:
22
Page Views:
1786
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