Cutie Mark vs. Smee and Lee

Cutie Mark vs. Smee and Lee

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by Radji

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Orion
Artist
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187 comments
# 7   Posted: Nov 30 2018, 12:54 AM
I liked the way this went. It paints a very specific time frame and mental point for the character and a relationship that is concerned but not enough to make them stay. But it's does feel a bit lacking in impact.

I like the slow reveal of more and more of the debauchery that Mark has been getting up to as it pulls out from just him and as we do. Though I would have liked it to shown in more in its completion to sort of frame mark in the lonely abyss he's created for himself. Then again that doesn't really matter so much given that the elements throughout the comic does that job amiably.

The comic feels too brief. Like there is the wind up of Limbo and Mark's reservations being long gone feels a bit limp in the aftermath as they leave him to his dazed state where as Lee and Smee have seen it but we as the audience haven't. Which doesn't seem all to necessary given the visual clues around us. Like we get the concern from L&S but none from Mark. Like Mark is a cool guy when we last meet him and now he's a wastoid? How did that happen? When? I mean we know he's dead and that has a toll on people but we don't see that toll happen. Like, we see the outcome but none of the effects to even make us elicited pity. His is not an emotional state but just a stopping block on a road to ruin. We see he's empty but not empty of what.

Idk. I might need to read back and all that but despite that I do like the idea of limbo/purgatory being a type of self indulgent nihilistic hedonist place that dulls you into nothing. And given how the theme of death in void as a state of unbeing before you either pass on our get the opportunity to rise again it's an interesting idea that parts of the after life that are deliberately made to stop that process and do so by praying on parts that that stem from characters' own personal failings.

Otherwise not much to report. Liked the grungy feeling and the linework. Seemed grounded with a splash of unruly color to give a sense of characters inner state. The message of the comic feels smart enough but there doesn't feel like enough emotional weight to the proceedings that elicit more then a general feeling rather then specific feelings for the character. Solid scene just feels a bit lacking of impact.

      Edited Nov 30 2018,  01:01 AM by Orion

Julz
Artist
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346 comments
# 6   Posted: Nov 29 2018, 07:50 PM
good idea with the content warning. Alot of that looked very sticky and realistic. Really grosses me out thinking of that many gross parties every week. Those poor slime kids. I liked the story being about loneliness and rejecting warnings. I also really love page two because of the perspective shift, and the thumbs up really drew in the eyes, though you could work on consistency in faces, Mark had a lot of variation throughout the comic. I enjoyed the little details in the movements, struggling to get off the floor, details like and the braided horse tail. Again, your perspectives are very eye catching and interesting (page 3 bottom panel) but when I hit page 4, the quality dipped noticeably. The coloring seemed simpler and lazier, even the lineart seemed a little lazier and loose. Page 4 bottom panel part of Smiley's hair wasn't even colored in. Page 5 and all backgrounds are lost. This last page could have really used a heap of trash behind Mark, maybe in panel 3, to really seal the deal of his pathetic lifestyle. We are together and you are alone wallowing in filth. Great message, good story, great start, poor finish.


      Edited Nov 29 2018,  07:56 PM by Julz

Camel
Artist
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62 comments
# 5   Posted: Nov 29 2018, 03:03 PM
You really nailed the colors here, thats what really stood out to me. I've never seen a more relatable party aftermath! The intrraction between the two characters was brief but very effective. In the future, i think you should experiment more with FX in your comments, with more direct light sources, for this one specifically some fog in the background could have reslly given thr room a more smoky, dingy feel.

ArtsandGoodies
Think Tank
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113 comments
# 4   Posted: Nov 28 2018, 10:53 PM
Radji: I love all your art and the stuff you do. In this comic I love the ton you have and want to know how you did the grimey texture of all the background colors because it's amazing. also how you did the slightly different color smoke effect things. please teach me those. In terms of the writting the only thing that felt off to me was the way Smee and Lee acted, I don't know the character enough but from the recent battles and a bit of the past they felt way more matured and wizened than I expect of them so it threw me for a loop. other wise short but really good comic.

Hellis
Artist
icon
168 comments
# 3   Posted: Nov 26 2018, 03:01 PM
Radji: Your art is going from strength to strength. I'd say the one complaint I have in this case it he one panel of Mark on his back. His head doesn't feel round, it feels like its a bit flat. It might be a angle you could use some practice for until your next battle. Because the rest is top notch.

Writing wise I am gonna echo Heathen.: The sleezy tone, the way you built up how depraved mark was getting: A+. The weird, sexual advancement felt like you just threw it in there because "he likes to have sex". Its both a overused character trope that I feel cheapened an otherwise good and unapologetic portrayal of a substance abuse and its strange seeing how the  twins look like minors. It throws the tone a bit.

Heathen
Artist
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236 comments
# 2   Posted: Nov 25 2018, 11:24 PM
Kent: Really wish you hadn't taken two battles at once, because shit comes up, you get sick, whatever, and now you've got several people getting defaulted on. I hope you're doing alright, get better, whatever's going on, put yourself first. But I want to see your side of both of these battles as beyond battles before you fight anyone else.

Radji: I really like the tone of this scene, and how depraved and burnt out Mark is. Your art quality just keeps improving,  and the filter you've laid over these pages adds a nice texture to everything that makes your digital art easier on the eyes.

My only hangup with this comic is that Mark wants to fuck the twins one moment, and then regards them as children the next, seemingly unbothered. I know they're basically an adult when they're joined, but Mark seems all too self aware at the end to just let slide some kinda-sorta-maybe-soliciting two minors for sex. In a sleazy comic, this struck me as a little gross.

yarnwitch
Think Tank
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233 comments
# 1   Posted: Nov 25 2018, 10:11 AM
i like the dark tone your comics are taking on lately radji.
spelling issues are still apparent here. please get someone to check those.
page 4 bottom has some of ya girl's hair looking like squidward's nose and it kinda uh.... added to the silliness of the panel in a weird way, not sure if that was intentional.
always good stuff. keep it up!

edit: i also realized some of your coloring is a little messy on the last 2 pages, but its not super noticeable since you used that texture in your comics.

      Edited Nov 25 2018,  06:01 PM by yarnwitch

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 2 weeks
Ended: Nov 30th, 2018
Votes Cast: 14
Page Views: 234
Winner: Radji

 

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