Intro Story / Kot
Critiques & Comments
# 6
Posted:
Sep 26 2018, 05:32 PM
good and fun and shows a lot about the character with out revealing too much great work.
# 5
Posted:
Sep 21 2018, 05:50 PM
FIGHT ME!
Also I love this!
Also I love this!
# 4
Posted:
Sep 20 2018, 09:13 PM
I feel as though any opinion I have of your character and comic will be incredibly biased, because I am both a big fan of black & white, and otherworldly monster gods. Apart from appearance and theme, I was really wrapped into the concept and felt that the phrase and its relevance to the story and character was more obvious than others have criticized. That being said, I do feel that was more of an assumption given the theme, so I anticipate seeing more development with Kot's moral struggles.
Your line art is really interesting, it's very sharp yet still remains organic where it needs to be. However, I did sometimes lose the setting such as on page 3 when the "worm" rises; it looks like a massive, square tunnel originally, and then a very large space where Kot stands on a ledge to infer with it. On the very same page however, you have a beautiful scenery shot - I'd love to see more background detailing in smaller frames.
Looking forward to seeing more of Kot and your art!
Your line art is really interesting, it's very sharp yet still remains organic where it needs to be. However, I did sometimes lose the setting such as on page 3 when the "worm" rises; it looks like a massive, square tunnel originally, and then a very large space where Kot stands on a ledge to infer with it. On the very same page however, you have a beautiful scenery shot - I'd love to see more background detailing in smaller frames.
Looking forward to seeing more of Kot and your art!
# 3
Posted:
Sep 20 2018, 10:23 AM
Congrats on making it to Void! Since I'm kinda nervous picking apart such awesome art and paneling. So I'll just be a lame-o and pick apart spelling/grammar errors.
pg1 panel 4 should be "swear" not "sware"
pg3 panel 2 needs a comma after "eons ago" and a period at the end of the sentence.
pg3 panel 3 can lose "as if it's". Not a big deal, but the words are needless clutter. Also, the panel can use a period.
pg3 panel 6 "it's" should be "its"
Finally, I feel IT's Old English is a bit corny and clumsy. I can't articulate exactly why, but I think it's because the structure of the sentences are still modern, but have old words thrown in. This is most pronounced when it says "The moment mine plans shalt bear fruit draws near".
That said, I want to reiterate how much I love the art. The faces are so real, yet very expressive. This is such an amazing feat, I can only wish I can achieve that one day. I also really like how so many zoomed out shots there are. It all feels so cinematic.
All-in-all, solid intro! I look forward to future battles!
pg1 panel 4 should be "swear" not "sware"
pg3 panel 2 needs a comma after "eons ago" and a period at the end of the sentence.
pg3 panel 3 can lose "as if it's". Not a big deal, but the words are needless clutter. Also, the panel can use a period.
pg3 panel 6 "it's" should be "its"
Finally, I feel IT's Old English is a bit corny and clumsy. I can't articulate exactly why, but I think it's because the structure of the sentences are still modern, but have old words thrown in. This is most pronounced when it says "The moment mine plans shalt bear fruit draws near".
That said, I want to reiterate how much I love the art. The faces are so real, yet very expressive. This is such an amazing feat, I can only wish I can achieve that one day. I also really like how so many zoomed out shots there are. It all feels so cinematic.
All-in-all, solid intro! I look forward to future battles!
# 2
Posted:
Sep 19 2018, 10:14 PM
Congrats on getting in, i like the whole scenario your character is in and the world-building you did. The only thing I could say your story should have been bookended with "R'alaku". This starts with him talking about the saying so most of the dialogue is building up the important of that saying not just to his society but to him as well. We learn about it's main meaning, a second meaning, and his habit of the word, yet we don't see the payoff of the application of him using the saying. This would have had much more impact as a final line than the current part there and can be fitting for that situation. Also since he does say it so much in his head as a habit do make sure to keep that in mind when writing your dialogue for future battles. Really awesome character with a lot going for him so I look forward to future stuff.
# 1
Posted:
Sep 19 2018, 10:03 PM
cONGRATULATIONS ON GETTING IN FRIEND
Beyond Battle
Ended:
Sep 26th, 2018
Votes Cast:
20
Page Views:
1565
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