Shen: I love your colors and the palette you choose for this it’s great. This was an interesting version of an underworld that I liked to see, also the river was really awesome as well. I didn’t like the story and how Lily was written in this but I don’t have a good explanation as to why, everything I come up with seems to be nitpicky and a lot of it honestly could just be my tastes. I also try to come up with alternatives if I see something off in the comic but every alternative to an issue I see in the writing is already there, so I have no idea why i’m seeing certain things as issues. I guess this just wasn’t for me story wise.
Talon: Page 4 was really awesome with the transition and the way you did the background and the first half of this building up the summoning was good. However the conflict and the climax felt weak. This scar was weak. The scar you gave was a highlight in their hair, this is a character who has been known for changing their hair color. There is even a comic in her recent archive that is involving her mainly just dyeing her hair, so giving her a generic white highlight as a scar was not a good scar. This scar is a less extreme version of a thing this character has done on their own to themselves. A scar should be adding something to the character that they themselves wouldn’t add. Also the scar says nothing about what happened in the fight, if it was the same color as the ghost it may have made more of an impact and make sense. But really it was just a poor decision for a scar which is a problem in a scar match.
Also we didn’t really learn much about the ghost guy since most of what he said was talking about his power, which is not really that an important part of him to learn about in this interaction. If he had done more with his power it may have been interesting but all he did was slap lily which really isn’t enough to say anything about his power or what he does. If he’s only going to brag about his power you will want to show us this power. You could have also shown us his character and expanded on how he knew Talon, or expand on the friendship line and how Talon has no friends. When establishing a new character It’s more important to let us know of their role or of their relationship to the character. Basically we want to know more about the character before we get interested enough to know what they can do or who they are.
Finally a little tip to help you with your word bubbles since you mentioned you use Photoshop. If you have your word bubbles on their own layer you can add a layer effect and the effect you will want is stroke. You will want it on the outside and a solid black, that way your word bubbles will have a consistent line to them which will make your bubbles look much cleaner.
Raise the Dead / Lilyfeather vs. Talon
Critiques & Comments
# 10
Posted:
Jul 15 2018, 09:40 PM
# 9
Posted:
Jul 15 2018, 03:45 PM
Dechado: Wait. Remind me how Magic Mayhem's rules worked?
I definitely missed something important on Talon's side, because I don't remember he ever explaining how he got his powers back, so
Quote
Yeah Talon has a BB before this that does. It's pretty fun, I'd check it out.
Just a quick thing that grabbed me during both of these stories...and it's about Lilyfeather. One thing I didn't understand in either case was why exactly Lilyfeather needed her powers back? I don't feel convinced? She's willing to go through such extremes but wasn't her whole thing that she hated how her powers worked? Wouldn't she attempt to maybe pick up another power set? Or why does she even need a power set? Just something that bugged me while reading both.
# 8
Posted:
Jul 9 2018, 06:16 PM
Wait. Remind me how Magic Mayhem's rules worked?
I definitely missed something important on Talon's side, because I don't remember he ever explaining how he got his powers back, so shame on me if I did skip something important.
Seconl. Shame on you. These scars are incredibly tame.
At least you, Shen, have made me feel numb whenever I read a Scar or Death Comic to you.
Is this a compliment or an insult?
Yes.
Badger, I have not seen you do any other Scar Match, so I cannot scream at you on the type of scar you picked for Lily.
Shen: Your colors are fantastic as always, it was so fun to immerse with Talon and Lily into the Cave. The mood and atmosphere changed intensely! So cool!
I am unsure if you took inspiration from Disney's Hercules when doing the River of the Dead. Whether you did or not, I thought it was fantastic.
Glad to see Lily with her powers again, though I do have a question: She got back her powers and they got powered up, as now she can also see ghosts? Or, is it some... Alternate branch of necromancy?
Seems Talon always had this "ability" to see them ghosts.
Badger: Pretty! Not sure what Font or stuff you use to make the runes, but they look neat.
I must especially compliment the cover, can't quite put my finger on it, but it is really soothing to look at.
Like mentioned at the start, I am probably misisng a bunch of stuff about Talon, because I have no idea who Mordecai is, or who that spirit was supposed to be.
The summoning scene was meant to be stressful and all, but I thought the 4th panel from page 12 was... Awkward.
I think this was a great matchup, thanks for the comics, guys!
Kudos to both of you for the use of color palettes for the different scenes.
I definitely missed something important on Talon's side, because I don't remember he ever explaining how he got his powers back, so shame on me if I did skip something important.
Seconl. Shame on you. These scars are incredibly tame.
At least you, Shen, have made me feel numb whenever I read a Scar or Death Comic to you.
Is this a compliment or an insult?
Yes.
Badger, I have not seen you do any other Scar Match, so I cannot scream at you on the type of scar you picked for Lily.
Shen: Your colors are fantastic as always, it was so fun to immerse with Talon and Lily into the Cave. The mood and atmosphere changed intensely! So cool!
I am unsure if you took inspiration from Disney's Hercules when doing the River of the Dead. Whether you did or not, I thought it was fantastic.
Glad to see Lily with her powers again, though I do have a question: She got back her powers and they got powered up, as now she can also see ghosts? Or, is it some... Alternate branch of necromancy?
Seems Talon always had this "ability" to see them ghosts.
Badger: Pretty! Not sure what Font or stuff you use to make the runes, but they look neat.
I must especially compliment the cover, can't quite put my finger on it, but it is really soothing to look at.
Like mentioned at the start, I am probably misisng a bunch of stuff about Talon, because I have no idea who Mordecai is, or who that spirit was supposed to be.
The summoning scene was meant to be stressful and all, but I thought the 4th panel from page 12 was... Awkward.
I think this was a great matchup, thanks for the comics, guys!
Kudos to both of you for the use of color palettes for the different scenes.
# 6
Posted:
Jul 9 2018, 10:43 AM
I liked both of these comics, and it was really hard to make a judgment, so I'll let you know how I managed to make my decision:
I was not surprised and kind of did expect the ending to Lily's comic. I have a similar investment than I did before this fight.
I was VERY surprised at this mysterious entity in Talon's comic, and I definitely want to know more about him.
That's what it came down to, since y'all are really evenly matched on most else.
Great comics, y'all!
I was not surprised and kind of did expect the ending to Lily's comic. I have a similar investment than I did before this fight.
I was VERY surprised at this mysterious entity in Talon's comic, and I definitely want to know more about him.
That's what it came down to, since y'all are really evenly matched on most else.
Great comics, y'all!
# 5
Posted:
Jul 9 2018, 10:29 AM
Lemme blow off the dust from my keyboard. It's been, what, two months since I put in a good ol' critique?
Who even keeps track of these things.
So a showdown between two of our teen necromancers. I liked that these both followed a similar premise of Talon helping Lilly regain her powers and she comes in contact with dead people in the process. The outcomes are different, and that's absolutely fine. Let's go into each person's work to dig a little deeper, so to speak.
Lemme grab my shovel.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
SHEN: Nice outfits for these kids. Lily is really playing up the magical girl look, maybe in anticipation of getting her powers back. It's good that you addressed a complaint a few of us had when she and Holden became official--how does a relationship between a summoner and her summon work out? Is it even healthy? The contrast in attitude between Lily and Holden/ Lily and Tiffany is a good one to explore more of, and it's something I want to see.
Nice choice in colors for your Underworld atmosphere, too. I like a spooky cool color combo.
Now onto what needs improving. Please take this as the crit that it is, but
Shen
please
work on your hands.
Colors are fine, dialog is fine, but the hands need work. Reference pictures will help tremendously with this. If there's a pose you can't find online, use your own as reference. Snap some pictures, break down the construction, and just work on those hands because they are one of the most expressive parts of the body. When Talons hands swap from more bulky to more boney within the same story, and when fingers bend in a way that just isn't possible for a human hand to achieve without breaking bones, it's something that's very noticeable.
Unless he's double-jointed, but that can't be used to explain everyone's hands. Talon's just the example for this comic crit.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
BADGER: Continuing from your last comic! Niiiiice. I like how you played with the lighting on your characters, giving Talon some red bits to his hair. AND we got an angry ghost out for vengeance. I wanna see what happens next as we go further into Talon's story.
But a couple things--
- Whose room is this? This is either Lilyfeather's dorm at school or Talon's place I guess, but the best way to reduce that kind of confusion is to give the interior design some personality. I see some posters on the walls, but what's on them? I'm not asking for details in every interior shot but just enough in your establishing shot to let us know where we are.
- Lily's got a streak in her hair now. That's the scar? Are there more details to this then just a change in her hair? Is this something that's permanent or can Lily dye it out? I don't mean to nitpick this scar decision, but it leaves me unsure about how permanent the effect is on Lily.
And that's it, crit's done. If I've dug a hole deep enough, let me hide out here and see what you got for your next comics.
Who even keeps track of these things.
So a showdown between two of our teen necromancers. I liked that these both followed a similar premise of Talon helping Lilly regain her powers and she comes in contact with dead people in the process. The outcomes are different, and that's absolutely fine. Let's go into each person's work to dig a little deeper, so to speak.
Lemme grab my shovel.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
SHEN: Nice outfits for these kids. Lily is really playing up the magical girl look, maybe in anticipation of getting her powers back. It's good that you addressed a complaint a few of us had when she and Holden became official--how does a relationship between a summoner and her summon work out? Is it even healthy? The contrast in attitude between Lily and Holden/ Lily and Tiffany is a good one to explore more of, and it's something I want to see.
Nice choice in colors for your Underworld atmosphere, too. I like a spooky cool color combo.
Now onto what needs improving. Please take this as the crit that it is, but
Shen
please
work on your hands.
Colors are fine, dialog is fine, but the hands need work. Reference pictures will help tremendously with this. If there's a pose you can't find online, use your own as reference. Snap some pictures, break down the construction, and just work on those hands because they are one of the most expressive parts of the body. When Talons hands swap from more bulky to more boney within the same story, and when fingers bend in a way that just isn't possible for a human hand to achieve without breaking bones, it's something that's very noticeable.
Unless he's double-jointed, but that can't be used to explain everyone's hands. Talon's just the example for this comic crit.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
BADGER: Continuing from your last comic! Niiiiice. I like how you played with the lighting on your characters, giving Talon some red bits to his hair. AND we got an angry ghost out for vengeance. I wanna see what happens next as we go further into Talon's story.
But a couple things--
- Whose room is this? This is either Lilyfeather's dorm at school or Talon's place I guess, but the best way to reduce that kind of confusion is to give the interior design some personality. I see some posters on the walls, but what's on them? I'm not asking for details in every interior shot but just enough in your establishing shot to let us know where we are.
- Lily's got a streak in her hair now. That's the scar? Are there more details to this then just a change in her hair? Is this something that's permanent or can Lily dye it out? I don't mean to nitpick this scar decision, but it leaves me unsure about how permanent the effect is on Lily.
And that's it, crit's done. If I've dug a hole deep enough, let me hide out here and see what you got for your next comics.
# 4
Posted:
Jul 1 2018, 02:53 PM
Lilyfeather in a scar match makes me VERY NERVOUS. Do it up big, guys
# 3
Posted:
Jun 18 2018, 01:43 PM
The long awaited battle!!
I'm so hyped for this ~
I'm so hyped for this ~
# 2
Posted:
Jun 17 2018, 07:48 PM
and it only took five thousand years to happen
# 1
Posted:
Jun 17 2018, 04:15 PM
Scar Match
Drawing Time:
3 weeks
Ended:
Jul 15th, 2018
Votes Cast:
32
Page Views:
2278
Winner:
Animeshen
Gwen & Regi vs. "Knight Owl" Corry
@ 6:57 AM Mar 18th
The End of Extinction
@ 6:07 AM Mar 18th
Apotheosis
Blake Neddon vs. Lizzie
@ 6:06 AM Mar 18th
99 Problems and a Cat
Croi Desai vs. HR99
@ 10:03 AM Mar 14th
HR99 Winter 2024 Shorts
HR99
@ 12:09 AM Mar 4th
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
|
117 Guests, 0 Users
Most Online Today: 129.
Most Online Ever: 1,184 (Jan 13, 2020, 06:21 PM)
Artist