It's a blood thing / Akira Matzugi vs. Lumin Kai

It's a blood thing — Akira Matzugi vs. Lumin Kai

by Hellis

382 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6

Crit level: No preference
tags: akira matzugi, lbgt, lumin kai, vampire

by ghostly

404 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4

Crit level: No preference
tags: akira matzugi, lumin kai

Critiques & Comments
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# 9   Posted: Jul 6 2018, 10:38 PM
Not enough time to judge, but I can safely say both are fab-u-lous!  Love both your guys's stories and takes on the characters.

Community Manager
# 8   Posted: Jul 5 2018, 05:08 PM
Hellis: you've definitely leveled up in terms of overall rendering here, congratulations! There are a couple moments that still need some filling of empty space, better composition between the characters, these are things you'll learn in time as you keep drawing. But one thing I definitely want to point out now that your art is improving is that one thing you really wanna watch out for is same-face syndrome; alot of these characters, both boys and girls, have the same noses, same eyes, same facial structures, etc. I think you're still in a position where you're trying to define your style so it can be difficult, but try to think about these, maybe practice drawing characters outside of your comfort zone of young slim 20-somethings to get a feel on how to change the faces up. I'm not saying you need to have characters that are of totally different looks from each other, but you want to at least be able to pepper the rest of the world in your comics with that diversity.

Ghostly: Your artwork is super solid, great character design, but I wanna bring up the same thing with you too; I feel like if I swapped Akira and Lumin's hair and skin colors they'd be physically interchangeable aside from height. There's some effort of distinction in the jawline but it's not consistent. I would like to see how you handle characters outside your comfort zone as well in future battles

Keep rockin', guys

Think Tank
# 7   Posted: Jul 3 2018, 09:49 PM
Hellis: With all the technical difficulties you had during this comic i'm super impressed how well this turned out and complete it was overall. In terms of writting I really like how good a character Akira was, though Lumen didn't get to do too much in this comic I still enjoyed it since i got a good feel for the club and how Akira runs it.

Lumen: You draw some of the pretties boys and it's really nice. The dialogue parts was well done overall, however the story really didn't click with me at all. It took me a while to figure out why but I think I figured out a couple things as to why this comics story felt off to me and didn't have an impact.
The first page of the story is being this bishi romance set up, then the second page switches in the middle page to a drama putting Lumen in a suddenly dangerous situation, then the final page gets rid of that tension with humor and a bit of backstory. That is three different tone changes in three pages, which is too many and results in none of them getting the focus they need. With the constant changes in the story it's hard to get invested when i'm trying to figure out what  this comic is trying to do.
Along with that you never fully committed to any of these tones. Like if you want to go sexy you should at least have them stripping if not just making it 18+ with nudity, if you wanted comedy you should have given more time to set up the jokes and more emphasis on the punchlines. same with the drama. since you didn't really commit to any of these tones it means none of the emotions stick with the viewer.
Also the other thing I realized made it so this story didn't stick with me was the lack of expressions. besides the final two panels the main expressions either character really does is some form natural resting sexy face. the biggest examples of this are the final two panels on page 3. Does Lumen look like someone who just found out they were in a night club and that their blood is about to be taken from them? Honestly people aren't that expressive in real life but in a comic expressions need to be exaggerated to make up for the lack of voice. Most of the time I can't tell how Lumen or Akira feels which means I have no idea how to feel since I can't fully read the situation. Dialogue can only do so much.
Overall this is a very good quality for comic, but the lack of consistent tone or commitment to any one type of tone makes this comic not nearly as impact as the art can make it be.
TL; DR:  Commit to a tone and exaggerate expressions more, expressions are the number one way to tell us what's going on.

Think Tank
# 6   Posted: Jul 2 2018, 07:48 PM
Ghostly: First of all I love your comic in every single way, its absolutely gorgeous, and the plot is amazing, and somehow condensed into such a small thing??? LITTLE CAN I SAY I love your chara, I love your work, and I'm hyped to see more from you!!

Hellis: Your comic def show lots of improvement from older comics, and I love how much nicer your lines are getting.  On the other end though, I feel like a teeny bit of criticism on the colors, is that I feel they're super muted which takes all the life out of the nightclub, for a setting like this, contrast between bright and dark could work really well, but either way I do think varying colors a bit more could help a lot in the future!

# 5   Posted: Jul 2 2018, 04:00 PM
This was a very fun first battle! It was really nice seeing Akira's personality and powers coming out in this comic, and it'll be a good reference for when I write more of him in the future. We'll definitely have to battle again once we get better feels for our characters!

Those few background characters not in silhouette do stand out a lot, but that just shows how much care and effort you were putting into the setting. You had a much better grasp on the environment than I did in my comic, so you beat me there! You obviously put a lot of thought into it, and you have a good spatial awareness. I would say that you don't have to make all NPCs silhouettes next time, but maybe just give them a darker tone instead to give the crowd more depth.
The color scheme for the background also felt a little muddy because there was so much detail going on there, so maybe also try to use a limited palette for the background characters too as well as darkening them.
Also I would keep an eye out for the little inconsistencies, like Akira's tattoo switching legs, and Lumin's pincushion switching arms and disappearing. That's not really a big deal though.

Thanks for the fun battle! And I'm really glad you didn't have to cancel the match due to your computer problems. You really powered through it, and I'm proud of you!

      Edited Jul 2 2018,  04:02 PM by ghostly

# 4   Posted: Jun 30 2018, 11:29 AM
Great job from both of y'all! It was certainly a fun read on both ends.

Hellis: I'm super happy that you were able to get this out despite all of the technical difficulties!I'm certainly a fan of page four. I enjoyed the writing for this, but I gotta mention you misspelled 'Seriously' on page 3. In terms of art-- I think first I've gotta say, I don't know if it's because of the lighting of the entire comic that made you pick this, Lumin really looks...Not his skin color. He looks pretty darn pale, not even a pale brown, even though he's medium brown toned. And in the situation that you made this choice because of the lighting, it's still strange because there are /other/ medium-toned or darker characters in the BG who look just fine. NPC's who are dancing in the background should've been been black silhouettes because they stick out a little too much during the situation (I.E., the two dancers in page 3's first panel. The lack of a crowd in the third panel in page two is a bit confusing as well, considering how large the panel itself is. But other then that, I'd say this comic is pretty gosh darn great! Props to sticking it out despite your computer troubles.

Frog: The story's really cute, it was a fun read! The *kissu* made me chuckle tbh, love it. Same with Hellis' story, I personally have nothing to point out about this story on my part. Art wise, right off the bat I noticed that black triangle between the forefront left dancers arm and backside. The text bubbles on page 4, in the second and fourth panels, get a bit pixellated in their white parts and also stick a bit outside of the bubble itself, which I'm assuming is just an issue with the bucket tool. Otherwise, it's a pretty comic! Certainly a cute first battle comic :D

      Edited Jun 30 2018,  11:29 AM by Astrodile

# 3   Posted: Jun 28 2018, 02:20 AM
This has been a real labor of love and suffering in equal measure . I am just happy I got it done in time despite losing over a week to computer trouble!

Global Moderator
# 2   Posted: Jun 8 2018, 03:27 PM

# 1   Posted: Jun 8 2018, 03:21 PM

Comic Details -

Drawing Time: 3 weeks
Ended: Jul 6th, 2018
Votes Cast: 21
Page Views: 800
Winner: ghostly

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