Intro Story / Grey

Intro Story — Grey

by zee


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zee
Artist
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127 comments
# 7   Posted: Sep 11 2016, 08:20 PM
Thanks for all the comments and advice you guys!
I really appreciate the input!!

KarmaLarma
Artist
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57 comments
# 6   Posted: Sep 4 2016, 07:14 PM
This turned out so cool! I do have to agree with Rhimwill on the confusion of the Greys as it took me a bit to figure out just which one was The Grey but as it went on it got easier to tell him apart, especially next to the exiled one. As always I love your colors and mood-lighting, and I'm curious of what became of the rebel. Compelling stuff as usual, can't wait for more~

Rhimwill
Artist
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97 comments
# 5   Posted: Sep 4 2016, 02:16 PM
You do so well with your colors! Also, with the crowds and characters in the background. That's something I tend to have trouble with XD
As others have noted, The thing that popped out at me the most was that all the Greys look too similar, which caused some confusion in the first few pages. I can see that you were doing a little bit of differentiation with some of the head shapes and heights of the characters, but I think you need to really exaggerate those differences even more. Really squish and stretch proportions out so that each individual has their own distinct silhouette. Like, take a look at these Irkens from Invader Zim:
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/00/55/11/00551124cd0a4faafca96f2f8cb38ce4.jpg
They're also supposed to be a cloned race of identical soldiers, but their body types vary drastically so that the audience can tell them apart.
Not only would this help the audience know who's who, but it would also help with giving some extra information about characters. Like, in Page 3 when the Highborn makes the comment about Grey's brood being decommissioned. It's clear from the dialogue that there's something undesirable about them, but you could also use the visuals to expand on exactly what might be wrong with them by showing us something like Grey's brood standing amidst some other more desirable individuals so that we get the comparison of what is considered normal vs. defective for these people.
As usual, your art here looks super professional. I'm very intrigued to see where this story goes, and to maybe see more of that cool rebel chick ;D

      Edited Sep 4 2016,  02:17 PM by Rhimwill

Corn Of The Breads
Think Tank
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131 comments
# 4   Posted: Sep 4 2016, 12:51 PM
well worth the wait! I thought the over all story was fun though I think a small subtle hint as to why they are investigating earth, would have been helpful I feel like you are saving it for later but in the briefing room it felt a bit like the pronoun-game "Oh right the mission, the mission on Earth, the mission specifically chosen for Earth, Earths mission... that Mission?" also I know they have different head shapes but they are all so similar that at first if you didnt already know Grey before reading this comic it could feel a bit overwhelming, and I noticed Grey kinda blends into the background even though overall we get a good sense of his dedication to his cause he does not really appear until the end in a sea of look alikes it seems to be enforcing the idea that. Grey is almost a nameless soldier as the more developed character is portrayed as the villain. I think this comic is amazing and one of the best character intros I have seen on Void and your art is so fun to and smooth it makes your comics a real joy to read. I would just recommend maybe in the future giving the other Grey's helmets or different colored eyes so they are more easy to tell apart. Cant wait to see what's next for the character.

PyrasTerran
Community Manager
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1404 comments
# 3   Posted: Sep 4 2016, 10:07 AM
dude this is amazing work it's so cool to see what you can do when you've got the time to go full on

I got a little confused over who was saying what between pages 2-3, compounded by all the greys looking identical. Removing the armor helped for a moment but then i got confused and thought one of the superiors was being thrown out

The last shot is really pretty in the colors and all, but alot of the buildings in the front ended up looking like just tall golden slabs, the window definition is barely on them, i'd revisit this technique and see how you can get them to look more like city buildings with how you're coloring them


fantastic job dude can't wait to see what you do next

Ishtar Dragon
Artist
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79 comments
# 2   Posted: Sep 4 2016, 09:22 AM
Holy Moses, man! This looks gorgeous! The colors are so beautiful! The drawings are so dynamic!

If only I have one critique: in pages 2 and 3, the speech bubbles are a bit too cluttered, making it difficult to know which one to read next. This is specially noticeable in panels 7 and 8 (page 2) and panel 3 (page 3)

Otherwise, amazing job!

zee
Artist
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127 comments
# 1   Posted: Sep 3 2016, 02:16 AM
Wasn't sure how this was going to work ha ha.
The comic is done though, hope it's turned out OK!

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 1 week
Ended: Sep 10th, 2016
Votes Cast: 24
Page Views: 664

 

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