@SloppyBottom - Goodness, now this was a really creative concept! I really cannot wait to see more of this dude! He is such a fantastic addition to Void (and I am not saying that just bc I am a sucker for mundane characters with severe psychological problems doing not-so-mundane things!)

@oncbtime - Sorry you had to default, buddy! Better luck next time!

SLOPPYBOTTOM- Another impressive page count AND a nod to classic comics with your cover- bravo! Right off the bat its clear you have some great art. Your expressions and points of focus page to page are really appealing. Your drawing style however, strong as it is, seems barely there. I think others have commented on how wispy it is, but my complaint lies in what you don't show. You admittedly give your reader just enough to get their bearings and figure out what they're looking at, but more often than not, it tends to look like these folks are living and fighting in white space. Really spread your skills out throughout the whole panel. Draw that environment! You'd be surprised how much that would really enhance your pages.
Also, don't be discouraged by the critique. We're hard because we care. Not to mention you have such a good artistic foundation already, I just know its only going to be stronger the more your practice. Can't wait to see more come round 2!

Sloppybottom, you have an interesting approach to lineart. In some pages (like page 4), it looks like it's just kind of airy and noncommittal, with whispy ends that don't really meet and uncontrolled weights. But on other pages (the first in particular) you're rocking it like you're doing a very specific type of illustration that's the opposite of comic-style inking. Like, an almost Hirschfeld sort of thing, you know?

It's still a little hard to see, though. You should try to get something heavier and more continuous in there to give everything more presence and solidity.

SloppyBottom- It's no secret I'm a fan of dark humor, so I was excited to see what you were gonna do with Deathwish. I hope you can explore the character more in future comics (maybe throw him a bone here or there?)

For a first round, though, I'm really glad we got this look at the character. I'm impressed you did 7 pages and a cover, but maybe if you condense your pages [for example, more than 5 panels a page] you could spend more time on each of them!

Regardless, I can't wait to see more!

oncbtime - It's a shame you defaulted, but things come up and week long deadlines can be tough. I just hope you stick around and give us some more battles in the future!

SloppyBottom - Deathwish is a dead beat. I feel like I'm with kindred spirits. The story was great and definitely had me stoked. Bummer that you couldn't do more, but hopefully next round you can really go all in. You have a good concept of layout and pacing. More backgrounds and maybe throw in some line widths next go around! Look forward to more Deathwish comics!

@oncbtime: I don't know what happened, but I hope you stick around and submit something fun next time!

@SloppyBottom: Your line quality is awesome; I wish it weren't so sparse! The overall effect of the comic is that it's incomplete or rushed, and that's still impressive considering the 1 week deadline, but I would have preferred 3 fully fleshed out pages over 8 kinda sketchy pages. Still, the story was fun and your characters were fun and I just really want to see more from you! Good luck in round 2, and see if you can get something more finished looking!

I agree with a lot of what the others are saying as well everything has a bit of a floaty feel which also makes sections look unfinished. Color or even some greyscale would help you out tremendously.

I was worried, when you first showed us Deathwish, he'd purely be an avenue for black humor. Not that I think there's anything wrong with that, I just don't care for it. I'm glad to see that's not the case. Making Deathwish a unlucky underdog does a lot to make him more sympathetic. I do kind of wish the plot were more involved than 'Deathwish tries to piss someone off', because I feel like that's going to become a trope if you use it too often. It's good to get the obvious plot out of the way early, I suppose.

As for the art, Karma's got a point about things feeling floaty. This is subjective, so take it with a grain of salt, but I feel like your lines are too... tapered? For example, the fence on page 3, the lines get smaller as they near the edge of the page, even though the fence likely continues around the whole building. It's a stylistic choice, so it's not necessarily wrong, but it does bother me just a bit. Other than that, I don't have much to complain about, its a solid comic. Keep it up!

Thanks, Larma. I would have liked to add blacks and colors and would have if I had another day to work. I think that would of helped with your concerns. Though I'll admit backgrounds/structures are not my strong suit. Glad for feedback! Maybe I'll try focusing on fewer pages next time.

I really like your poses and the different lineweights you use. It makes everything look nice, even though it looks like you didn't get a chance to really finish. Make sure to utilize your backgrounds in the future, since even the ones you did include feel kind of floaty and lacking ground. Also poor Deathwish, things just don't work out for him. </3

hype hype hype!