2016 Heavyweight Tournament: Round 1 / Jiko Shi vs. Corry

2016 Heavyweight Tournament: Round 1 — Jiko Shi vs. Corry

57.1%
517 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5

Crit level: No preference

42.9%
388 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3

Crit level: No preference



Critiques & Comments
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Kozispoon
Approval Committee
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1021 comments
# 20   Posted: Jun 4 2016, 03:47 PM
MORT- Its all fun and games until shizz gets too real. This comic actually gave me the shivers. There's such an established tongue in cheek odd couple slapstick established between Greg and Jiko in your forum comics that seeing it fully realized here got rid of all the laughs- but in a good way! Art is all about eliciting feelings, at least I think, and this comic definitely grabs you with its themes.

MRNO- Beautiful pencil work. Its so rare to see graphite on the site that isn't rushed or just simple lines. The content page to page feels like it has body and substance-kudos!  I know that this being a multiple round tourney ya gotta get some build up going, but I gotta admit your side didn't really grab me, story wise

Charlie
Artist
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725 comments
# 19   Posted: May 29 2016, 09:12 PM
Mort - your style is as cool as ever! I really like your colours and your expressions, its very good. If I had to nitpick a couple of things is that the characters basically exist in "flat colour land" as the backgrounds don't really get any love to let us really get a sense of where they are. The other small nitpick I have is that when greg shuts the door and is turning around to look at Jiko he looks kinda...psychotic happy? He doesn't look angry like we are then finding out on the pages after. I guess I'd just watch what emotion you are trying to convey. STILL these are all dumb little nitpicks I love your art and your comics so I will keep looking forward to more :>

Mrnoitaull- I can't really comment much about this because I feel like its so unfinished it'd be unfair for me to really point anything out. I don't really understand what is happening in this comic, it feels like a slice of something bigger that we are only seeing a tiny mid piece from.

PONBIKI
Artist
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182 comments
# 18   Posted: May 29 2016, 11:18 AM
Mortooncian
I like the  writing, pacing and the colors it sets up a nice mood. I don't know much about your character and her relationship to that guy in her apartment so that confused me a bit. I like that it made me feel uncomfortable and  I wish I could help her. My other issues are every shot is basically a shot of her head and that get boring and repetitive. The backgrounds are very bland she works at a coffee shop spend sometime designing one even if its just for one panel to establish it, plus its fun to draw props the counter looks so plain. I was not sold that she worked in a coffee shop.

Mrnoitaull
Even though you did 3 pages you got your point across quick.( back when void started we all had a 3 pg limit to get the point across and it's hard)  I like the whole kidnapping. I like your establishing shot of the cafe. Nice pencils
and shots. I like the pg 1 pnl2 how it transitions into page 2 pnl 1. I admire how you try to give a lot of depth in your panels. nice over the shoulder shots and silhouettes and adding a detail behind a character to break them apart from the background. I think maybe working on your line weight will help you out more in the future as well.


Energy
Artist
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121 comments
# 17   Posted: May 29 2016, 12:08 AM
Mort:  Well, that got dark quick.

Mrnoitaull:  I don't know why, but I feel there's no real conclusion to the story.

otakutaylor
Artist
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179 comments
# 16   Posted: May 28 2016, 11:22 PM
Mort: Whoa... When murderoomies gets serious, it gets dark. Props for dealing with something truly scary. And I love the color sense you used to tell the tale.

Mrnoitaull: The work you have done here is rather nice. Love the choices you gave for panels and framing.

mortooncian
Artist
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111 comments
# 15   Posted: May 28 2016, 12:59 AM
Jaykat: What's keeping me motivated is the desire to solve Jiko's problems </3 (or well, her one BIG problem, which is Greg)

Jetster: Hey! Thanks! The subject matter is very dark, and I apologize if I have thrown anyone off. Heavyweight marks the beginning of a more serious look at Jiko's life; the dark humor is there, but I'd never make jokes in the vein of domestic violence. (More in the line of her bad luck, or the wayward construction beam HAPPENING to fall on her)

The nature of Jiko's relationship with the sort of people who gore her is something that's become increasingly unsettling to me, as I've developed her these past 9-10 months. That's the reason GPS-Device and I never shipped Jiko and Greg (and we were kind of concerned when people did); from the beginning, they've had an awful relationship, and have nothing but hate for each other. It's why if you also notice, in the more recent additions to JnG show, it focuses on Jiko's actual positive relationships (like with Shift and Wizzie) to show this transition in desire to not have Jiko Eternally Resigned To Doom And Despair And Awful Murderous Relationships.

Also, hopefully by the 2nd round (I mean, I'll do whatever writing fits best, of course) most of the nature of their 'bargain' will be apparent. I did wanna keep that a bit mysterious intentionally though for round 1!

Jetty Jay
Artist
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151 comments
# 14   Posted: May 27 2016, 11:44 PM
Mort: Really solid and so far well handled dark topic. I do have some concerns/discomfort about potential tone whiplash given the more jokesy tone you've had with Jiko so far and wonder if this hinders your ability to go back to that without it being super uncomfortable - but maybe that's something you want to play with as well so I'm interested to see what you do. Lack of background detail has been noted a bit so I wooon't dwell on that but I do like how you vary up the shots to keep a talky-comic bits interesting. Use of colour throughout along with textures on page 3 (I like that you didn't overuse them but it might have kept a nice juxtaposition from the first part of the comic to use them throughout the second part a bit more?). The story was great but definitely end heavy and the parts with Corry felt a bit like padding, like you really could have done this story without him. I'm not sure how you might have integrated him more into that, but I almost think it would have been good keeping this storyline for something else where you could have given that end bit a bit more centre stage and not have to waste time including Corry (while giving Corry a bit more of an active role in this comic). I also didn't understand the reference to the 'bargain', maybe that will be explained later? On a bit more of a tech note I think you could afford to give your panels a bit more breathing space as well, making the gutters a bit bigger. I really like the food in that first panel too I always appreciate good food drawing.

MRNOITAULL: You've got some really beautiful pencil work here and it's a huge pity you didn't have time to clean it up enough. Due to line widths your bubbles often get lost with the way they taper off on the sides. I also am a bit lost with the dialogue throughout, for example on page two I'm really unable to follow what they're talking about. It may have something to do with previous comics in which case an author's note might have been appreciated! There's one other problem with flow where the last panel of page two and the top of page three don't gel very well - I expected to zoom back and see the man at the counter who the hand belongs to after that closeup of the hand, instead we pull back way too far to see other people, and I got a bit lost with what was going on. Still, really well drawn for the time you had and it seems like it was going in an interesting direction.

JCee
Artist
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358 comments
# 13   Posted: May 27 2016, 09:45 PM
Mort: All I have to say is...Poor Jiko!! Why must she suffer so much...dammit Greg XD Yeah, more backgrounds would be nice and help better establish the scenes more, but good work overall!

Mrnoitall: I like how you drew Jiko in your style, but yeah I understand that you didn't have a lot of time to completely finish your end and that it was rushed. Better luck next time! I wish I had more to say, but good effort!

      Edited May 27 2016,  09:46 PM by JCee

Darius Corry
Artist
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426 comments
# 12   Posted: May 25 2016, 02:51 PM
.

      Edited May 25 2016,  02:51 PM by Darius Corry

MyHatsEatPeople
Artist
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393 comments
# 11   Posted: May 25 2016, 02:11 PM
Radj, I apologize for not giving you more so congrats on the advancement!

I'll do better.
Quote

Your opponent was Mortooncian.

mortooncian
Artist
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111 comments
# 10   Posted: May 25 2016, 02:10 PM
Thank you everyone!! I'm glad you liked my round : ) I apologize for the backgrounds thing-- I got a job I didn't expect at all so applying and doing that sucked up some of my time I thought I had >_<

also Mrnoitaull i think its funny ours kinda have the same story in a sense LMAO [and you drew jiko so cute ;-;]

Darius Corry
Artist
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426 comments
# 9   Posted: May 25 2016, 11:36 AM
Pyras, yeah I literally came in here three days ago and saw my character in the tourney. That coupled with I couldnt find a reliable scanner to save my life.

Mort, I apologize for not giving you more so congrats on the advancement!

I'll do better.

      Edited May 25 2016,  02:51 PM by Darius Corry

Radji
Artist
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517 comments
# 8   Posted: May 25 2016, 12:23 AM
mortooncan, i just want to ask:
WHOOOOOOOT

Dark as shit, but like always the atmospher is just super !
BUT JIKO AND GREG SHOW!!! WHYYYYY

Shen
Global Moderator
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1269 comments
# 7   Posted: May 24 2016, 11:23 PM
Thren: ok well you've RUINED the Jiko and Greg show thread now so THANKS lol. This shit is fucking DARK, you definitely have my attention now! I need to know where this story is going, whats this bargain? i LOVE the colours in this, i love how you can take all those bright yellows and oranges at the end and make them awful and terrifying. I agree with pyras that the backgrounds are a bit sparse in some places but i know you were dealing with graduation so im impressed you got as much done as you did. cant wait to see the next part!
#savejiko2016
MrNoItAll- im glad you remembered you were in this haha but i wish you'd remembered a bit earlier so we could see where this kidnapping story was going! your word bubbles get confusing on page two, i think they are saying each others lines at some point. theres some pretty nice shade work on the pencils though and you draw Jiko so cute!

PyrasTerran
Community Manager
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1406 comments
# 6   Posted: May 24 2016, 10:03 PM
Mortooncian: Maaan this was a very unexpected comic (but at the same time expected for inside reasons) and that's great, your color psychology is great in pages 3-5 and these are just overall great pages, but your backgrounds in the first page could u se more work, since it's clear not as much love was given to any of the backgrounds they show more jarringly against your polished characters. It would be great to see you try something  background-based in a future comic.

Mrnoitall: it's a cute if brief little narrative but it feels unfinished, not because it's pencil but the pencil itself doesn't seem as polished as I've seen from previous works of yours. I think this needed more time to cook

Darius Corry
Artist
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426 comments
# 5   Posted: May 24 2016, 04:08 AM
It's fine. I honestly forgot I opted back into this tournament when its started, but I didnt default so there's that.

mortooncian
Artist
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111 comments
# 4   Posted: May 23 2016, 10:05 PM
Submitted!! I wouldve polished it up more, but, I'm not gonna dawdle on that

Sabulive
Artist
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131 comments
# 3   Posted: May 9 2016, 08:53 PM
CHEERS U BOTH ON

mortooncian
Artist
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111 comments
# 2   Posted: May 9 2016, 08:52 PM
aaaaAAAAAA

Julz
Artist
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370 comments
# 1   Posted: May 9 2016, 04:21 PM
HELLO KNOCK KNOCK WHO IS THERE?? STAB STAB STAB

Comic Details -

 
Type: Tournament Match
Drawing Time: 2 weeks
Ended: May 29th, 2016
Votes Cast: 22
Page Views: 838
Winner: mortooncian
 

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