OH SNAP!!!! I LOVE IT BOTH!!!
cant wait to battle jiko shi, i already have a story for it! and i cant wait to have a round two for you Doc!

hahaha
~ MAUI

mortooncian: To be fair, I assumed that's how her regeneration worked based off of this comic, so I think you did a good job of portraying that. I'm honestly just being nitpicky because your art and storytelling is so good that there's nothing major for me to point out that you don't already know. I just can't see how the timing would have worked in such a way that she could recover and find everything except her pinky and get out of there before Dr. Fibrin could catch her. I guess the lab probably would have been on fire for a while before Dr. Fibrin could go into it, so maybe I'm just underestimating how long it took to get the fires put out and everything cleared before Dr. Fibrin could actually go back to the burned out lab. Now that I think about it, it actually makes more sense.

Either way, I loved the comic and can't wait for what's next!!!

Thank you everyone! I had a lot of fun this round, and I enjoyed fighting GPS' Dr. Fibrin. He's a great character and he was a lot of fun to draw!!!

AND THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR CRITIQUING ME i cant stress it enough how important it is to me and I try to take them into account

@ GPS: I've already gushed to you a lot about this so I won't embarrass you! But I still really appreciate the effectiveness of your solid and heavy shadows and the blood. Fibrin's so damn creepy, and you showed him so well here-- the throat-chopping part especially. Chills! I'm a little envious at how well you conveyed the creepy tone, and you didn't need many pages to do it!

@Dan: AAAAHHHH yeah!! I didn't realize just how many of the same angle there were, that's kind of embarrassing! I definitely want to incorporate more background and visually-interesting shots that aren't, just, figures talking! And more backgrounds in general...

The dialogue and speech bubbles are a big part, too-- you know firsthand i was kind of throwing it on at the end and I shhhhoouuullld not do that. Especially since you know better than anyone that I really value nice dialogue... Oh well!! Next time. But thank you so much Dan ; u ;

@ Gregly: Thank you!! I just went off the assumption that any normal person with something that would like, get them kidnapped by mad scientists-- (looks at Dr. Fibrin)-- would want to keep it on the downlow lol. But I maybe didn't establish enough that Jiko is trying her hardest to live a normal life! So that's my bad.

@ Shen: Thank you so much! I really love using large blocky shapes. I want to get better at doing detailed, backgrounds, though, to go with the simple figures. Jiko's life isn't gonna get better from here...

@ Bobo: YOU ARE WAY TOO KIND! And Jiko's body just, reconstitutes itself if completely destroyed (like dissolved in acid, for example, she'll reappear fully). However, if blown apart, or her limbs severed, she can reattach parts of herself like lego pieces-- worst case scenario, the body parts eventually grow back (like she clearly has her pinky now), but its a lot less convenient/time-consuming for them to grow back than just re-attaching them to their respective places. She was able to gather up everything but that last pinky before she ran away-- sorry if this was unclear!

(Can you imagine what she looked like, all mangled and haphazardly thrown together, in that rush to run out of the lab? Guh! I should've drawn that!

Also, she left her arm because there was no shoulder left to reattach it to, so just growing it back was more sensible. I was considering showing her left arm/side of her head be only mostly recovered in the week-later flash, but I felt it might be a bit confusing)

@ Pyras: Thanks!! I think I'll go for a 2 or 3-weeker next, when I battle someone, because I really want to focus on polish my next round. Sorry if it was more of a quantity than quality case here  Had the battle been 2 weeks, I probably would've been able to make the pages look a lot nicer, but Them's The Breaks with a 15-page one-weeker lmao (again my fault-- I just really wanted to write out this story). The pencil work was a conscious decision-- the sloppiness however was not, and thats my fault.

@ Roflqu: WAAAHHH thank you, I really appreciated your input while working on this, and this is a really really great critique. IDEALLY I wouldn't have had single monochromatic swatches of color-- I would've wanted, like the first page, to just go with sort of limited palettes like 'varying browns and reds' versus 'just, red'. The yellow in the hallway didn't register as a bad choice until way too late, so that's another goof!
And I definitely need to use Jiko's brows more. I want to give her really intense expressions when shes bitchy so that would definitely be a great step forward. I feel a bit upset at myself because drawing expressions are one of my favorite things, so I shouldn't have had Fibrin emote FAAAR better than my own character lmao...

@ Kozi: Thank you so much!! I apologize for how sloppy this round looks, I promise I'll focus a lot on polish my next round-- and better/more backgrounds lmao. I was trying out something different with this round-- partly out of necessity [I'm back in school, so drawing traditionally helped me a lot] but also because I want to try to find something that does well by everything good by both my traditional and digital skillsets [I think i draw better traditionally, but color better digitally, so Im trying to find a good balance I guess]

I'm happy you think I drew him so cute!! my cutesy art style is a blessing and a curse, because sometimes a character SHOULDNT look cute but... (maybe thats another thing to work on)

@ Coatl: I will! I'm focusing on bgs very heavily in my next planned comics, because I kinda dropped the ball here. I had them doing experiments in a lecture hall because Fibrin's classes seem to fill lecture halls and so the only way to accommodate so many students at once would be a lecture hall-- though, a really, really, really large lab could have also been an option.

First of all, I want to say that congrats to the both of you for putting out some dope work. Great mix f humor and dark mood.

as for things to improve on.
Geeps: Practice drawing cubes, practice them freehand, check them, try doing them at different angles and sizes and perspectives and check them. Draw cubes inside of cubes and check them.
It trains you to eyeball perspective better.
For your inkwashes, run some tests with your scanner and see what gives you the best results to really make them show.
Also your characters looks great but practice making thme more voluminous, you had issues where some of them looked a bit flat.
I think Jiko being asian, you should push to express that more.
In fact,  iwas talking to someone else abotu how it'd be great practice to differentiate faces.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SVbUc4z9IxY
this video might help and I encourage you to do it asap.
The music was a good touch but I feel like it should be capitalized more, bro. Use it in more panels.

Thren:
same as Geeps, Draw cubes, it'll help you no only with perspective but also give depth to your bgs.
Just practive bg's in general. Start with your room.
I want to see you do longer battles so you can push your drawings.
Also I understand why you did it, but i cna't beleive they're doing lab experiments at a lecture hall. It's all good.
Puch the expressions.
Page 13 was only unclear because Fibrin is running from the explosion but then covers his ears towards it.

All in all, I'm proud of you two guys I hope to see more soon!

I'm a little surprised to see such minimal background work considering you had some really stellar examples of building design/backgrounds in your intro comic. Gotta flesh out that void world these folks are tromping in! also, I feel giving your BGs hat extra oomph would've totally helped in enhancing the mood you were going for here. Really interested in this pencil work though. We all got an eyeful of your chunky digital inks and colors that this is an intriguing departure (if not a little unfinished looking perhaps? Maybe I'm just not used to pencils). Definitely hope to see you tinker with other styles in future comics Also, can I say the way you draw Fibrin is adorable. I didn't think you could make a crotchety old professor look 'kawaii', but you definitely succeeded, haha!

I gotta say, watching Jiko get banged up and blown to smithereens only to survive it mildly inconvenienced is turning out to be pretty entertaining, if not a visual gorefest. Makes me wonder how much damage she can withstand before she simply just doesn't come back? So glad to see you vhurning out them comics. Keep up the good work!


GPS- We got the same story here, but with a more insidious feel I think. With only three pages I think you did a fine job infusing Fibirns personality throughout and even infusing some dark humor besides.  I think the heavy black you used for this comic was definitely the right choice and the splash of red as the only shade on enhanced the unsettling feel from page to page. This was a quick macabre romp into what I think we all were wondering along with the good ol' professor= how the deuce does Jiko work??

mortooncian: Battle number 2! What a trooper you are! I know I helped you a lot with this comic and it was a real privilege to give you some advice and watch you work. The story was really engrossing and interesting and I felt like you did a great slice to help show us how Jiko got to where she is in her intro comic.

There's definitely a couple of things that I wish you had done that could have been utilized for mood and it could have either been developed through color or through pencil-work. The first of these things is more developed backgrounds. Your pencil work is nice, but you have a lot of empty spaces later on in the comic that could be utilized to better showcase the world we're in. It would have been nothing to continue to draw the door behind Fibrin on page 4. It also would have really helped world-building by having a picture in frame above Jiko Shi on page 6. Same with adding that couch again through page 7.

And while removing it in the 'ping' panel makes more sense than removing it for Fibrin, these things didn't really need to be removed and it didn't help me focus on Jiko in any improved way. I also think that adding some tiled floor to the hallways of page 9 and 13 would have looked very nice to add a bit of detail to the sterile hallway. In the most extreme, page 13 could have been very dramatic had you added the windows bursting with shattered glass. It would have looked very strong and would have felt very strong.

The second point is improved mood choices with colors and improved shading. You are fairly on point with a lot of these colors, but some of them aren't the colors that are enhancing the mood of this. Page 9 through 13 spring to mind for this. Your blues on page 8 are a fantastic choice and really build a gorgeous mood of mystery. However, those yellows in the hallway are weak to me and don't do the mood justice in building tension. I know it would be unlikely a college would turn off hall-way lights, but it hurts the mood a bit when you could have had very long shadows due to the moonlight pouring in through the windows. On top of that, it could have given you an opportunity to play with the shadows visually.

The colors being sort of dropped and incomplete were disappointing. If you wanted each background scene to change the mood, I would have just taken the base colors and just changed them for each major scene change. As it stands, a lot of these pages look unfinished. It isn't a fill-tool job, but it's definitely an area-selection-fill-tool job for some of this and it would have really benefited from it.

I feel like Jiko doesn't use her eyebrows enough in her emotions. She certainly doesn't express herself much (introvert loner and all) but when she does, her eyebrows don't seem to be getting in on the love and that's kind of a bummer, since you can do all kinds of wonderful things with them. I think they should continue to be the cute, large teardrop shape they are, but you should play with her emoting more with them. Even if she keeps her emotions in a locket under her clothes, you should play with the subtleties the eyebrows afford you.

You did really well here and this is a definitely a favorite comic of mine. You should be super proud of the work you did, it's not easy going right into a week. Terrific work!



Geeps: I definitely felt good with these pages. I think these are the tools you want and these nibs will really help teach you better. Your story was nice for a one weeker and Dr. Fibrin is a great character to explore.

That white ink feels really good, but I wish you had played more with that on the light fixture on page 1! That feels like a little mistake. Your grey marker/dry brush looked really nice, gave a lot of strong texture to the characters here.

Looking at Jiko on page 1, she kind of reminds me of a lot of the other characters you've worked on recently  and I think there's a few things contributing to this. You kind of have a stock nose you seem to go for for most characters that aren't Fibrin, and I think it's basically how you have the same nose each time? They're all the same sort of rounded large nose, no one seems to have much variation when it comes to your noses. You need to start playing with them more to make them more distinct. I also think you're making your eyes kind of the same for everyone, as well, as they're all sort of large and in that general oval shape.

On a more character specific note, if I saw this comic out of the blue, I wouldn't know that Jiko is a half-Chinese half-Japanese girl. I believe as an artist, you're reaching the point where you need to start working with refinements in your style to start working with those important key differences in ethnicity and character design. Your bodies are feeling alright here, but those faces and heads are definitely an area you need to pay some attention to. I would recommend some life-drawing studies of ethnic groups and nose shapes. Also, Jiko's face on page 2 is really flat, with the nose and both parts of the mouth about the same general spot. I know there was a bit of a rush at the end, but it stands out a lot to me.

As usual, you display marked improvements as before and I'm glad to see you continue to do comics that look and feel as good as they do. I really liked this comic and I thought for 3 pages, you handled yourself very well. You're really getting a terrific handle on how to pace yourself within a short time frame and it's always impressively done. Great work.

mortooncian: This comic frustrates me a lil cause some pages and panels look finished and others don't, Idunno if the pencil leftovers was a conscious decision or the result of running out of time but it doesn't help. Pages 4-7, 9, 13-14 suffer from it and a lack of detail in the background (grime on the floor, etc.) THAT BEING SAID, this is a 1-week comic, and usually artists who go from a 3-4 weeker to a 1-weeker get hurt by the sudden time shortage but despite the stumbles you really did pull through with a complete 15-page story so props for that! Take what you've learned from here to apply your time well in future battles

GPS-Device: The master of the few-pages comic as usual, even with so few pages you deliver an interesting narrative, though this time it feels very small compared to what mortooncian delivered; the word bubbles need alot of work, I think that was running out of time right? I could have sword you did those better

good job and keep it up!

Mortooncian, I am in love with Jiko Shi, your colors, and your art style, all from this one comic! It's all so gorgeous I just want to explode! But I won't because I can't survive that kind of thing like Jiko can. I would have liked to see more finishing touches, but—well, first off: DAMN! THIS IS A 1-WEEK COMIC!?—the details you DO include set the scene so well and provide character development in subtle and important ways. Basically, I love your work and cannot WAIT to see more from you (like literally, I think I'm going to go stalk your DA now or something)! Honestly, my biggest and only real complaint is that Jiko supposedly was right in the middle of that huge explosion, and somehow was able to only leave a single finger behind. Does she actually collect her body parts when she heals? Did she just pick up everything but the pinky? How long does it take for her to heal? It seems like Dr. Fibrin should have been able to get back before she could heal enough to pick up all of her body parts and get out of there. And if her healing doesn't involve collecting her body parts, the last couple of pages would make no sense. I'm assuming from this comic that she heals faster if she can get the severed body part and re-attach it, but she'll eventually heal from any wound. Anyways, that felt a little unclear to me and felt like it happened just to make plot happen, rather than being a natural result of the characters' actions. Still though, your art is gorgeous your character is gorgeous and you are gorgeous!

Geeps: This comic was extremely short and not much happened, but you still managed to give me TONS of information about who Dr. Fibrin is. I'm loving the "mad scientist" angle you're throwing at me, and I didn't realize he was this kind of character before, so you've totally pulled me in. Your art is superb, although the shading was a little rough and the speech bubbles looked childish compared to your beautifully-rendered inks. More than anything, though, I just can't wait to see what you do next with Dr. Fibrin! And if I haven't already said it, I just want to say I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE BACK! <3

it kinda feels like GPS' story is the aftermath of mortooncian's lol! poor suffering Jiko!

mort- oh my gosh I love your Dr Fibrin! so delightfully insane, and i love how you do his creepy eye! You do great at using colour to set the mood and I love your use of shapes but a lot of your panels feel kinda empty. This was very spooky for being so brightly coloured lol great comic! cant wait to see more of Jiko getting murdurlated!

GPS: I hope hes also a fan of The Mystic Knights of the Oingo Boingo XD Your black and white is always so intense, and I love how dark and creepy this is! its too bad you couldnt properly adjust the levels but I dont think that ruined it. I do think I agree with Dan that Dr Fibrin seemed like a really precise sort of guy who would put down plastic or something if he was going to make a bloody mess lol. But maybe we just don't know enough about him yet. Hes quickly becoming a favorite character!

Mortooncian: Way to jump right into the gorey stuff! I really like your colors in this to differentiate the different locations, and while this comic was kinda lacking in backgrounds I appreciate the establishing shot for each new setting. You delivered a nice contained story, but I didn't realize she was trying to keep her power a secret so I was kind of confused at first.

Gps: I agree I like a lot of the alternate camera angles going on. The traditional look really gives a feel for the grungy place this experiment is taking place! I hope dr fibrin continues to change from a normal-ish professor into crazy mad scientist guy. Nice work!

GPS: While it was short, it managed to get to the heart of things (probably literally), which i liked. I really did enjoy the perspective and camera angles that you did on it, so that's a definite plus. What i will say is that the panel layout and composition for all 3 pages seem to be almost completely identical (like you can look at the thumbnails and see how its all the same looking). Maybe this was intentional, but for me it kinda made things formulaic despite the content.

I also have to say that i liked the dialogue. it flowed and seemed natura,l so that's a plus. For future entries involving Dr. Febrin I would recommend a little more research in how dissections/operations goes. Dr. Fibrin seemed more like a butcher than a methodical and precise man of science (which i took him as) with a consenting volunteer. Like I'd imagine that he'd have like plastic sheet coverings to make the clean up be, if he was expecting there to be a lot of blood splatters. Overall, the comic was enjoyable.

Mortooncian: Art wise, I'm impressed and amazed by how many pages you mustered, and every one of them being colored. Dialogue was also pretty good and natural, but at times i felt like it was kinda jumpy at times. I also feel like you rely too much on the same kinda perspective shots. Very often the shots where either a centered front view or a profile shot. While this isn't bad, more perspective variations would be nice. Also keep in mind the whole rule of thirds for composition.

My last bit of critique is more of a personal preference. The dialogue bubble shapes (while concise and allows more of the environment to be shown off) seem a bit too busy and distracting. It kinda seemed like you tacked on the dialogue into place afterwards, without considering it's placement in the initial drafts.

P.S. I liked the little bits of dark humor. Steve L. must be some special kind of moron thinking that a dead girl would be able to reply back. May is also precious.

BOTH: THE ROUND WAS GOOD AND YOU SHOULD BE PROUD! I also am bad at critiques so take my iffs and complaints with a grain of salt.

I'm in.

Though also sorry about if the image quality itself is poor. My scanner was being a SHIT so I had to take a photo of these with my ipad and adjust the levels and stuff from there.

My pages are in B)

HYPE!

Great match! Cant wait to read these!

Best of luck to you!

OH SNAP! GOODLUCK YOU GUYS ^O^)7

Good luck guys!