Intro Story / Jiko Shi

Intro Story — Jiko Shi


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Evil Eye
Artist
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85 comments
# 15   Posted: Oct 9 2015, 09:30 PM
It warms my heart to see people take old ideas and aesthetic choices and spin them into a good story with just the right level of self-awareness.  As far as I'm concerned this is Marvel-esque in all the best of connotations.

EDIT:

also I wanna know if the way it begins as kind of cutesy and anime-ish (albeit not gratingly and your style is unique) and progressively gets oilier and darker from page to page until it's just completely your own thing by the end, or if that's just a dope-ass coincidence.

      Edited Oct 9 2015,  09:42 PM by Evil Eye

Kozispoon
Approval Committee
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1025 comments
# 14   Posted: Aug 27 2015, 02:11 PM
Sorry it took me so long to comment on this- the comics page hurts my eyes >.<

Wowza, new and already busting out player #2. Way to go! Jiko looks like she's gonna be an instant fan favorite. So many possibilities for a human pin cushion. Or should I say knife person? I love that opening establishing shot. Almost as much as I raise my eyebrows at it. You did such a good job rendering that really stylish looking coffee shop I'm disappointed equal quality wasn't afforded to the surrounding city. At least I think that shop's in the city. Or maybe they're in a bare plaza? A big bowl? Angus is getting all the love with the cameos he's getting in recent comics. Clever use of blocking to imply but not outright display a racial slur!

I love looove the choices of color in these exterior scenes. Especially that dark brick alley. I'm glad you seem to be pushing yourself I definitely echo Tofu's note on the sudden turn around on page 2, but what really sticks out for me is the 'shocking' stabbing itself. Unless you meant it to be this slow deliberate business I'm not feeling the movement here. I'd love to see some speed lines, some impact of her body hitting the brick wall. A sound effect even would've really punched up that shocking payoff of her getting shanked.

Regardless, I gotta say this small story is heads and shoulders more streamlined and understandable to your last. You got a nice spooky set up, girsly reveal and black humor as your payoff. I definitely wanna see more of her and congratulate you in showing us plebs some real sexy art! Keep up the good work, lady.

Tofubeast
Artist
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254 comments
# 13   Posted: Aug 23 2015, 10:30 PM
Love these colors! Congrats on finishing! Geeps already covered this, but I feel like even though your panels are beautifully painted, you could def push those poses so that they feel more natural or exaggerated (as opposed to just standing around).

Also, work on laying out the composition of your panels so that where your characters are placed in relation to each other don't look wonky. Page 2's last panel, especially, has Jiko with her back turned to Greg Howling with his knife in front of her, where previously there was no indication that she was trying to turn sarcastically around or that he moved.

Aside from that, congrats on getting character #2 in!

GPS-Device
Artist
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124 comments
# 12   Posted: Aug 23 2015, 08:01 PM
You already know how much I enjoy this but I'll put it here for posterity's sake.

You've got really good pacing throughout this, and i think it builds up to a rrally solid joke delivery for just how dumb Greg is. Your shift to a limited color pallet is fantastic to create that imposing mood, and makes the punchline of how every day this is for Jiko all the better.

I do think the camera angles on page 1 could use some work. The shots individually work well, but together kinda jump all over. Like, from panel 2 thru 4, it feels like im being slung around a room to follow this shot. You cross the 180 line from panel 2 to 3, then again from 3 to 4. I think it works well from 3 to 4, but with the prior panel, it just feels almost like whiplash. The 180 rule, while important, can be broken, but to break it back to back like that is a little too much.

Riftrunner
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7 comments
# 11   Posted: Aug 23 2015, 03:58 PM
I have to concure with others that mention the awesomness of the establishing shot. It really grabs your attention right off the bat. I think some of the following pages would benefit from a bit more light, though the pace is good. Also, I find the fact that our repeat stabber is clueless about his would be victim when combined with narrative from the first page, really speaks to the type of place Void is and the type of characters it draws to it.

mortooncian
Artist
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111 comments
# 10   Posted: Aug 23 2015, 02:54 PM
PyrasTerran: oh, I didn't know that was Howling, and that he was dumb D:

ignore me~
Quote

NO NO its ok, i shouldve made it more clear!! im sorry if it was confusing. and i did exaggerate his design some u__u

PyrasTerran
Community Manager
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1406 comments
# 9   Posted: Aug 23 2015, 02:40 PM
oh, I didn't know that was Howling, and that he was dumb D:

ignore me~

mortooncian
Artist
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111 comments
# 8   Posted: Aug 23 2015, 02:32 PM
PyrasTerran: okay, I'm not sure why he hasn't noticed that though :| wouldn't anyone?

*talking as if I know how serial stabbers think*
Quote

of course anyone normally would, but greg howling's a massive idiot!
(gps and i were joking that them meeting would literally be this)

Bittermause
Artist
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242 comments
# 7   Posted: Aug 23 2015, 02:19 PM
Love this!! Great limited color palette, fun dialogue and I'm really digging Jiko's no-nonsense attitude with Greg!
My only crit here is Angus's dialogue in the bottom right of the first page. The word child being cut off by the woman's head kind of jarred the pacing. Moving the text and bubbles a smidgeon to the left would've remedied that.

 I look forward to seeing her in action.   Welcome aboard, Jiko!

EDIT:  Okay NOW looking back at that panel I realized it wasn't what I thought it was. Hohohoho You terrible clever person you!

      Edited Aug 23 2015,  02:28 PM by Bittermause

mortooncian
Artist
icon
111 comments
# 6   Posted: Aug 23 2015, 02:17 PM
Dino Nebitt: I love that establishing shot so much.

Also the rest of it.

Prepare to die, Jiko Shi...

Prepare to die.

Muehehehahahahahahaaa!
Quote

I DO NEED to credit Nebitt here for his help a lot in writing stuff for Jiko and helping design the Red Eye with me.  he's helped me with her a lot and he is a really cool dude

but also i need to comment because he is going to hurt my child and im frightened

PyrasTerran
Community Manager
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1406 comments
# 5   Posted: Aug 23 2015, 02:13 PM
okay, I'm not sure why he hasn't noticed that though :| wouldn't anyone?

*talking as if I know how serial stabbers think*

mortooncian
Artist
icon
111 comments
# 4   Posted: Aug 23 2015, 02:10 PM
PyrasTerran: is she stuck in a time loop or something?
Quote

Nah, she just got shanked by the same guy repeatedly, daily, for a long time

andits why shes mad he never noticed even though the 'victim' had the same name, appearance, occupation and direct route home the whole time

PyrasTerran
Community Manager
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1406 comments
# 3   Posted: Aug 23 2015, 02:04 PM
is she stuck in a time loop or something?

I've always loved the idea of invincible characters and she's got the right attitude for it. The establishing shot is so great, but I feel like the latter pages are a big too dark and could have benefitted from some hilights here and there from stray lights in the street. As it is now it's a bit too muddied together

Churning out another character already! Use your minions responsibly, can't wait to see more battles~

      Edited Aug 23 2015,  02:06 PM by PyrasTerran

Heathen
Artist
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296 comments
# 2   Posted: Aug 23 2015, 01:58 PM
I love that establishing shot so much.

Also the rest of it.

Prepare to die, Jiko Shi...

Prepare to die.

Muehehehahahahahahaaa!

Cracking Skulls
Global Moderator
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344 comments
# 1   Posted: Aug 23 2015, 01:49 PM
Ah, finally!

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Ended: Aug 30th, 2015
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