I apologize again to sixtem for not having a strong showing and I thank everyone who took the time to vote and critique. Thank you all very much. I don't regret participating, I only regret not getting farther.
I haven't done a comic in awhile so it was a good way to gauge where I'm at and the things I need to work on. I didn't have a lot of time though when I started I wanted to ink and add maybe a splash or two of color. I wanted the Hell Carnival to resemble the creepy Otherworld Carnival of Silent Hill 3. And I wanted to maintain recurring motifs for Pistol and Clash. But I ejected a couple of pages after realizing that they weren't necessary. I was just going to stretch things for the sake of drawing more but I was already low on time. I realized about midweek I wasn't going to get to inks so I began to concentrate on making my pencils as detailed and strong as I could up to my skill level. I didn't use a ruler for anything because I figured if I made all the straight lines and perspective by hand it would at least look consistent. But in the end I couldn't finish but I at least wanted the story to be out there.
Since I'll probably never use the idea again, my basic story arc for Red Rabbit would have had her continue to collect those Despair coins. After collecting two, she'd use it to pay Charon to ferry her across the river Styx and back to the land of the living. She'd reveal that she had no strong desire to live but the reason she wanted to leave Hell was because she disliked her current job. In Hell everything is repetition and death isn't permanent. She wanted to return to the world of the living where life was precious and fleeting and therefore beautiful to slay.
Speed Resurrection Tournament 2015: Round 1 / Red Rabbit vs. Clash and Pistol
Critiques & Comments
# 17
Posted:
Jun 15 2015, 08:12 PM
# 16
Posted:
Jun 13 2015, 06:03 PM
William_Duel: It's great to see you participating again, comics from you are terrific to see, despite the unfinished work. First and foremost, you have got to fix that strange text issue you're having in Photoshop, that's incredibly bizarre. Your narrative and story are really interesting, however. I thought the presentation was really cool and even in these base sketches, your flow, your anatomy, everything is improving.
A lot of the raw fundamentals at the base of your work is really shining through and despite this still being sketchy, something about this particular one (maybe that you completed the story) makes it feel like you're getting better. If we could see that translated into something more completed, I think your progress would be very apparent.
I'm sad you couldn't be more complete and ultimately I hope you take the time to finish this in some capacity, because we all know you're capable of it, so I hope you can prove us right.
sixtem: Always a treat to see you do anything and also my favorite SDT participants of yours. I can agree with the criticisms in the stiffness and the body type parts, but you have such great flow of your action, pacing, and story-telling, that I really get wrapped up and it's hard to make something of it. Your lines are very clean, but your work really wants some greys or colors in it to help fill the spaces I think. Not every panel has this problem, but it's noticeable on page 4's middle panels. The final panel of 11 seems very empty, even though I really like that angle for what you're doing. You mostly have your panels filled up, but if you only have characters in parts where it's not just heads and bubbles filling most of the space, then that emptiness is apparent. Also, I didn't even realize there was any panty shots at all until mentioned by fence, so take that as you will. I was honestly more taken in by the story and action.
My problems with this comic are honestly few. As usual, you tell a good story and it'll be great to see you move on. I adore this so hard and am anxiously awaiting to see your next round stuff.
A lot of the raw fundamentals at the base of your work is really shining through and despite this still being sketchy, something about this particular one (maybe that you completed the story) makes it feel like you're getting better. If we could see that translated into something more completed, I think your progress would be very apparent.
I'm sad you couldn't be more complete and ultimately I hope you take the time to finish this in some capacity, because we all know you're capable of it, so I hope you can prove us right.
sixtem: Always a treat to see you do anything and also my favorite SDT participants of yours. I can agree with the criticisms in the stiffness and the body type parts, but you have such great flow of your action, pacing, and story-telling, that I really get wrapped up and it's hard to make something of it. Your lines are very clean, but your work really wants some greys or colors in it to help fill the spaces I think. Not every panel has this problem, but it's noticeable on page 4's middle panels. The final panel of 11 seems very empty, even though I really like that angle for what you're doing. You mostly have your panels filled up, but if you only have characters in parts where it's not just heads and bubbles filling most of the space, then that emptiness is apparent. Also, I didn't even realize there was any panty shots at all until mentioned by fence, so take that as you will. I was honestly more taken in by the story and action.
My problems with this comic are honestly few. As usual, you tell a good story and it'll be great to see you move on. I adore this so hard and am anxiously awaiting to see your next round stuff.
# 15
Posted:
Jun 11 2015, 03:41 PM
WIIL_D- Not gonna lie, I wasn't too jazzed on reading this once I realized how rough and unfinished it was. Week deadlines are tough. Like, super tough, so kudos on not only participating, but giving it a shot. This, at least to me felt like more of a script than a comic. Or the notes you write yourself on a napkin at a bar when you got a really good idea. I'm just really sorry it all didn't come together like I assume you'd hoped.
SIXTEM- I really dig your clean style. Its almost reminiscent of Mega-man in a way, which I think, considering your cover page, may of been your inspiration. I would remark on the lack of backgrounds, but really, I ain't too bothered. you put detail on pages and panels where you wanted the reader to zero in and kept exposition speedy with minimal panel detail. I think visually you did a good job of setting the pace you wanted our reader to get through your comics and that's pretty neat. Considering your comic is black and white, I wish you'd punch up your blacks. Don't be afraid to really ink in there so your work doesn't look so bare. Also, considering your clean style, the gradation of the grays you used seem very out of place.
SIXTEM- I really dig your clean style. Its almost reminiscent of Mega-man in a way, which I think, considering your cover page, may of been your inspiration. I would remark on the lack of backgrounds, but really, I ain't too bothered. you put detail on pages and panels where you wanted the reader to zero in and kept exposition speedy with minimal panel detail. I think visually you did a good job of setting the pace you wanted our reader to get through your comics and that's pretty neat. Considering your comic is black and white, I wish you'd punch up your blacks. Don't be afraid to really ink in there so your work doesn't look so bare. Also, considering your clean style, the gradation of the grays you used seem very out of place.
# 14
Posted:
Jun 10 2015, 03:15 PM
Will: I had to rate the quality low on this, since it's really rough and unfinished, but at the same time it lends a certain uneasy dementia to the whole thing that's kind of fitting. I like the concept of two souls searching for eachother, but occupying the same space, a very clever damnation.
Six: Loved the classic Osamu Tezuka feel of this comic, lots of great robot action here. Red Rabbit is delightfully wicked and unhinged, and your robo-duo plays a nice foil to her scenery-chewing. Loved the izuna drop and ensuing emergence from the dust on page 7, great sequence. Your backgrounds are a little sparse, but present just enough to inform the locations. You definitely took full advantage of explosions and speed lines to avoid drawing backgrounds. There are a few instances of characters talking off panel or where the staging could have been clearer. I'm not a fan of the slick gradient you're using, I wonder what a dottier halftone would do for these pages. That said, great use of a single week for sure.
Six: Loved the classic Osamu Tezuka feel of this comic, lots of great robot action here. Red Rabbit is delightfully wicked and unhinged, and your robo-duo plays a nice foil to her scenery-chewing. Loved the izuna drop and ensuing emergence from the dust on page 7, great sequence. Your backgrounds are a little sparse, but present just enough to inform the locations. You definitely took full advantage of explosions and speed lines to avoid drawing backgrounds. There are a few instances of characters talking off panel or where the staging could have been clearer. I'm not a fan of the slick gradient you're using, I wonder what a dottier halftone would do for these pages. That said, great use of a single week for sure.
# 13
Posted:
Jun 10 2015, 11:31 AM
JoeNeary: William_Duel,
I don't understand the weird punctuation of the full stop/period before certain words. Is that for stylistic effect?!
Quote
No that is PS. I'm not sure why it does that and I have been trying to fix it but for now, it decides that punctuation should go to the front of a sentence unless I follow it up with a second sentence. I don't have any control over that yet.
# 12
Posted:
Jun 10 2015, 10:48 AM
William_Duel,
I don't understand the weird punctuation of the full stop/period before certain words. Is that for stylistic effect?
You had some dynamic compositions thumbed out. They could be really exciting when fully realised and I commend you for going out there with that.
Sixtem,
I would say a lot of your lines are a bit too chunky, especially the borders. It just makes everything feel a bit heavy and cute. There is some variation in the later pages and it really lifts everything.
Your whole way of working is very clean so I think you can afford to vary stuff up a bit with some scratchy, thinner lines, some wackier textures, different mark making basically, and ones that you draw yourself. It will hopefully add another level to your art if you do it well.
Good job!
I don't understand the weird punctuation of the full stop/period before certain words. Is that for stylistic effect?
You had some dynamic compositions thumbed out. They could be really exciting when fully realised and I commend you for going out there with that.
Sixtem,
I would say a lot of your lines are a bit too chunky, especially the borders. It just makes everything feel a bit heavy and cute. There is some variation in the later pages and it really lifts everything.
Your whole way of working is very clean so I think you can afford to vary stuff up a bit with some scratchy, thinner lines, some wackier textures, different mark making basically, and ones that you draw yourself. It will hopefully add another level to your art if you do it well.
Good job!
# 11
Posted:
Jun 10 2015, 08:04 AM
I haven't commented on it yet qyz. the two comics are not related at all, and my opinion on one will not factor into my opinion on another. I guess I didn't like it as much as you did but that's okay
# 10
Posted:
Jun 10 2015, 03:16 AM
Neens: Then where's the comment on Tom's comic, which even lacks panties? It's such a non-factor in this comic, so much so that I didn't even notice, personally. But... I guess? each their own?
# 9
Posted:
Jun 10 2015, 02:26 AM
Will: It's a shame you weren't able to put more time into this. I will say, you're anatomy needs work, and foreshortening too. That last panel on page 3 is probably the most prominent example.
Sixtem: Dig it. Fun action, fun concept. The one thing I do wanna say though, is you reuse certain camera shots way too often. You seem to default to this side by side composition, and it really takes away from the dynamic intention of your panels. For instance, when Clash comes in for the surprise punch, it works, but if you tilted the camera more, you could really push it. Bring someone into the foreground, add some depth to your shots, some layers. While you've got some anatomy/proportion issues going on with it, that rocket grab panel in page 6 is so visually strong! Really pushing your angles like that more often would help breath in a lot of life to your comics, and would help alleviate that kinda "stiff" feeling you get going on here and there.
Sixtem: Dig it. Fun action, fun concept. The one thing I do wanna say though, is you reuse certain camera shots way too often. You seem to default to this side by side composition, and it really takes away from the dynamic intention of your panels. For instance, when Clash comes in for the surprise punch, it works, but if you tilted the camera more, you could really push it. Bring someone into the foreground, add some depth to your shots, some layers. While you've got some anatomy/proportion issues going on with it, that rocket grab panel in page 6 is so visually strong! Really pushing your angles like that more often would help breath in a lot of life to your comics, and would help alleviate that kinda "stiff" feeling you get going on here and there.
# 8
Posted:
Jun 9 2015, 06:19 PM
will: would have been cool to see it all fully rendered- i like the clash/pistol split face thing on pages two and five, and the really creepy smile on the last page.
sixtem: i like how you filled your panels, and your sound effects fit well with the action. (i'm a fan of 'zot') the action's really easy to follow but there's a bunch of face close ups on the last three pages. really nice work for a week!
sixtem: i like how you filled your panels, and your sound effects fit well with the action. (i'm a fan of 'zot') the action's really easy to follow but there's a bunch of face close ups on the last three pages. really nice work for a week!
# 7
Posted:
Jun 9 2015, 05:00 PM
willy d noooo
sixtem, you've got pretty good quality here for a one week, so good job! a few things though. for me, the panty shots felt entirely unneeded, and are frankly uncomfortable. I agree with qyz about the body types and faces as well. the characters also feel kinda stiff and rigid, and don't feel fluid or as expressive as they could be. the ultra clean, uniform line weights are prolly affecting this.
sixtem, you've got pretty good quality here for a one week, so good job! a few things though. for me, the panty shots felt entirely unneeded, and are frankly uncomfortable. I agree with qyz about the body types and faces as well. the characters also feel kinda stiff and rigid, and don't feel fluid or as expressive as they could be. the ultra clean, uniform line weights are prolly affecting this.
# 6
Posted:
Jun 9 2015, 12:22 PM
Will: sucks you couldn't find time for this, it was turning out to be pretty unique and interesting :c
Sixtem: Good comic. Fun and easy to follow. The only gripe with your art, as I've told you before, is your people all generally have the same body type. I'd love to see you mix it up sometime
Sixtem: Good comic. Fun and easy to follow. The only gripe with your art, as I've told you before, is your people all generally have the same body type. I'd love to see you mix it up sometime
# 5
Posted:
Jun 8 2015, 06:47 PM
I'm really sorry. I couldn't find an adequate amount of time to work on this so all I have are half scribbled pages. But I put in all the word balloons. But I guess this is better than nothing.
Oh and as will be evident, PS decided to do this weird thing where it puts punctuation in the totally wrong place. Haven't figured out how to fix that yet.
Oh and as will be evident, PS decided to do this weird thing where it puts punctuation in the totally wrong place. Haven't figured out how to fix that yet.
# 4
Posted:
Jun 8 2015, 02:40 PM
10 pages + cover is submitted.
I'LL SEE YOU IN HELL, DUEL!
I'LL SEE YOU IN HELL, DUEL!
# 3
Posted:
Jun 1 2015, 11:13 AM
Good luck guys, this really sucks as I like both of your comic work! So with that said DESTROY EACH OTHER.
# 2
Posted:
Jun 1 2015, 10:35 AM
You got your work cut out for you, Willy D! Good luck!
# 1
Posted:
Jun 1 2015, 08:15 AM
Dammit.
Speed Resurrection Tournament Match
Drawing Time:
1 week
Ended:
Jun 15th, 2015
Votes Cast:
27
Page Views:
1885
Winner:
sixtem
einsam
Colbitzer
@ 3:32 PM Apr 17th
Birthright
Saal, Louise Ambre-Aliona, and Llaana
@ 3:44 PM Apr 16th
Help Needed
Theakon
@ 2:19 PM Apr 16th
The Great Switcheroo
Louise Ambre-Aliona vs. Luniel Gekka
@ 3:26 AM Apr 15th
The Great Switcheroo
Colbitzer vs. Veruca Chance
@ 5:22 PM Apr 14th
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Artist
Thanks for all of the critiques, everybody! They're really helpful. I'll try and change some stuff next round and see how it pans out (this tournament is mainly to get the rust off since I've just been doing commissions and pinups). Thanks again!