Thank you all! for your comments and critiques and otherwise. :3 I had a lot of fun making this, but I will go ahead and say that I did rush it a little bit 'cus I didn't give myself a long enough timeline. I happened to have a ton of other life stuff going on so I gave it my stunted best. I'm still such a newbie at comics, haha. I'm glad I know what to work on next, and I just loved drawing Ms Jessie...I feel a fanart is in order.
Does anybody know of some good GIMP tutorials? The ones I've read I had learned about already.
Crown - I would LOVE to battle you. @_@ I'd always seen Wizzie in the banners, but never actually read her for some reason. *going on a reading spree*
Holden Shark vs. Jessie Valley
Critiques & Comments
# 10
Posted:
Mar 21 2015, 09:13 AM
# 9
Posted:
Mar 21 2015, 01:02 AM
NRG: what can I say? This is is a step backward for you as far as I'm concerned, we know you can do better - I'm positive you will next time.
!BANG: Welcome to Void! I really like this character and this comic in general,
though I have a couple of gripes, your panel layouts are a bit too scattered and hard to follow at times, like you can work out where to go but the reader shouldn't have to work it out the eye should be lead, that comes with practice. I'd also perhaps suggest choosing a more comic-appropriate font then a serif type. Websites like dafont.com have suitable free fonts (and a bunch too). The font works for the monologue at the beginning because it could be interpreted as a written up monologue by the character, it's mainly the word balloons it sits funny in.
PS - i promise I'm not an arsehole but we need to battle.
!BANG: Welcome to Void! I really like this character and this comic in general,
though I have a couple of gripes, your panel layouts are a bit too scattered and hard to follow at times, like you can work out where to go but the reader shouldn't have to work it out the eye should be lead, that comes with practice. I'd also perhaps suggest choosing a more comic-appropriate font then a serif type. Websites like dafont.com have suitable free fonts (and a bunch too). The font works for the monologue at the beginning because it could be interpreted as a written up monologue by the character, it's mainly the word balloons it sits funny in.
PS - i promise I'm not an arsehole but we need to battle.
# 8
Posted:
Mar 20 2015, 03:39 PM
Bang- Jessie's punching on the 3rd page looks wonk. I thought she was catching something the the air- it either needs to be staged better or really think about the weight of throwing a punch; that pose aint doin it. Actually, the more I look at it, you need over all better staging. Some poses seem really off for the shot and the bottom of page 3 you flipped the 180* WHICH IS A HUGE NO NO. Page 3 your character is shown to the right of her, bottom of 4 they're to her left, top of page 5 FIRST panel they're on the left then the VERY NEXT PANEL they're on the right??? If you want to switch sides they need to be shown doing so (like how Jessie moves past them on page 5) or it be obviously from a different angle. Also yeah, those backgrounds...
edit: sorry got my page numbers mixed up
Energy- @_@
edit: sorry got my page numbers mixed up
Energy- @_@
# 7
Posted:
Mar 20 2015, 02:21 PM
@bangarangarangarangarang: I just now read both your intro story and this comic, and I'm loving this feel of a lot of old-school VOID tropes coming back in your comic. I don't know if that was on purpose or not, but as someone who's been (more or less) around since 2005, your character really resonates with me. What do you use to draw? I feel like you've got some neat skills but you're working with some crappy tools. Some of the stuff looked like you drew it with your mouse. I think the roughness of your style would stand out a lot more if the tools you used were smoother, so to speak. I'll also echo Shen a little bit by encouraging you to make your opponents stronger. You want your character to grow, and that's only going to happen if they come up against real challenges. I kind of like the way you portrayed Jessie as far as humor goes, but I think it fell kind of flat without any real juxtaposition against something more real. In other words, it's funny that she seemed to behave completely irrationally, but you didn't give me enough rationality or deep motivation outside of her behavior to tell me whether it was actually a joke or just poor writing on your part. It came across more like you were trying to force the plot instead of taking time to build tension or explore character or whatever. Still, really fun to read and I see tons of potential for you. Like, I think VOID is perfect for you, and I'm so happy you're here!
@energy: DUDE.
@energy: DUDE.
# 6
Posted:
Mar 20 2015, 02:08 PM
bangarang, gonna echo the sentiments that if you are gonna phone in your backgrounds you should try to be less obvious about it lol. i like your grimy colours, your moody lighting and the way you draw your character, hes very expressive! I also like that hes kind of an aggressive jerk, in fact, fuck, we could use more of those around here lol, but one thing that bugged me a little is you may want to be considerate in the future how you portray other people's characters cuz Jessie in here was... practically pointless and even the one shot she did get off on him was useless and thats sort of too bad so... definitely go on and continue with Holden as a dissociative grinning asshole, sure lol, but respect your opponent. in any case, great first showing! hope you stick around!
also i thought about it and yeah i think i need to battle you lol
energy- like.... Im not entirely sure what I'm looking at here. I mean you at least need to give us some text.... the brick walls look nice but context would be better ^^;
also i thought about it and yeah i think i need to battle you lol
energy- like.... Im not entirely sure what I'm looking at here. I mean you at least need to give us some text.... the brick walls look nice but context would be better ^^;
# 5
Posted:
Mar 20 2015, 01:37 PM
man what a jerk lol
good job with your comic bangarang, my thought is to spend more time on your backgrounds, the cityscape of the last page mos def needs work with the lights
energy/4p c'mon man, we need some words here. better luck next time!
good job with your comic bangarang, my thought is to spend more time on your backgrounds, the cityscape of the last page mos def needs work with the lights
energy/4p c'mon man, we need some words here. better luck next time!
# 4
Posted:
Mar 20 2015, 12:24 PM
BANGARANG- Whoo, first battle achievement! Good on ya! This first showing is none too shabby, hombre. I definitely like the clarity in your word bubbles/font this time around, but am a little thrown by the superfluous non-capitalization of your i's. Is that intentional, or a slip of the finger on the shift key? I'd definitely keep an eye on your sound effects seeing as Jessie Valley's tapping feet on page two sort of blend in with the darkness of the background. Maybe try outlining the sound effects in white for them to stand out from the environment?
Voids been pretty palsy walsy lately, so I like that we have an actual no goodnik coming into the fore. Definitely looking forward to more from you!
ENERGY- I really don't know what to say- especially when you compare this to your last two battles. Seems life got the best of you considering the content you got for two weeks. Better luck next time, hombre!
Voids been pretty palsy walsy lately, so I like that we have an actual no goodnik coming into the fore. Definitely looking forward to more from you!
ENERGY- I really don't know what to say- especially when you compare this to your last two battles. Seems life got the best of you considering the content you got for two weeks. Better luck next time, hombre!
# 3
Posted:
Mar 20 2015, 10:50 AM
I think we have found Wizzie's long lost brother. (Will write crits later)
# 2
Posted:
Mar 9 2015, 09:44 AM
Good luck!
# 1
Posted:
Feb 27 2015, 06:20 AM
wha that was quick! go go go!
Regular Match
Drawing Time:
2 weeks + 1
Ended:
Mar 26th, 2015
Votes Cast:
20
Page Views:
1654
Winner:
!bangarang!
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Artist
nrg- manage your time. you put two weeks doing messy brick work rather than giving us a comic. do what I do, draw some bricks real big, repeat it & skew it in when needed. here, you just gave yourself busy work when you had no time for it.