Puzzlething:i'll keep it short,but THANKS YOU,for the extensive critique,appreciate it alot,and gonna try to put it in the next chapter,really,appreciate it !

   
   Your rendering is inconsistent. Sometimes you use hard cells, sometimes it's painterly, sometimes it's soft, sometimes you use only base tones and no light or shadow at all. It's fine to experiment, but you need to choose a unified way to approach your art within a single work. Beyond inconsistencies, there are some problems with your rendering.

     Right off the bat, I spot problems with your flats and the aliasing on lines. It's easiest to see on the bottom of page 3. You see all those thin white lines in Karma's jacket? If you just try to use the fill tool on an area, the soft gray transparencies around lines ( aliasing the program adds to make your lines look less harshly digital) forces the fill to stop too early, exposing the white underneath and creating those ugly lines. If your gonna do flats in photoshop, you need to magic wand the area you're gonna fill first, then expand the selection area by 2-4 pixels so that you'll be filling into the area in the middle of the line. It's a command in the top bar.

     Also, if you're gonna do painterly mark-making, you can't just be devil-may-care with those lines. Every so often you create areas of light and shadow on your characters with just a mish mash of irregular marks blocking out a form. You have to opportunity to describe form with those marks, take it. You have such an incredibly strong sense of form too, and beautiful line art, so you could really go far.

      I think the only peeps who can get away with fonts of multiple sizes are dudes who hand letter. When you try to do it digitally it's just too jarring. The best thing that digital lettering can be is ignorable. When stories are at their best, you don't become aware of the fact you're reading words anymore, and doing anything that brings attention to the lettering breaks that illusion. In the end that's why it's important to be consistent with design stuff like text and bubbles, so that people ignore them and just get swallowed by the story.

    I love your art dude, you have such an amazing style. I think you just need to work out the kinks and find a good, polished approach. Once you do it's gonna be crazy.

Thanks alot for all the comments on the pages,really really appreciate it !!!!

with that said,

Thresher:You're right when it comes to drawing stuff in panels that remain in my comfort zone ,and wich not,it's something that i run into as well,and it's something i wanna improve on,good point on the fact that it should ad to the story,instead of making every panel a pretty picture,something that i tend(ed) t do ,its something i'm aware of ! thanks for offering the help on test reading the stuff,might hold you on to that !

Fern and Neens: The text keeps being a problemn ,funny thing is that the used fonts are from blambot,and i think the dialogue font aint that bad ...tho i have to agree on the sound effects fonts,that are pretty bad ,and i think i'm gonna try my hand at hand writin fonts for part 2.
Eva ,is indeed ,his half sister, i thought by introducing her text wise,(1st panel) it might give the reader heads up on there relation,on the other hand,i could have made it a lot more clearer by putting it in the dialogue.

thanks again for al the input guys,appreciate it ,and i'm gonna try putting some points in part 2. THANKS !

You have a very distinct and recognisable style and it really works for you. However, it's quite apparent that you're used to doing alot of face shots as the head on face dominates throughout this comic. You should start looking at how comic pages are laid out and push your compositions more.

I can see you're getting there with your high angle shots of the car and close ups of the hand, but don't forget to compose each panel in a way that aides it's content. Try doing sketching panels in comics you really like and note where the weight is and how it's done and you'll soon pick it up!

Loving the work dude, floating Buddha Head is awesome.

Never be afraid to contact someone (me or anyone else) if you want them to check over spelling and typesetting, we're always here to help c:

Soooo. I totally love the art. HOWEVER. In addition to what Neens said about yout text I always find it funy when people use different colored bubbles for different characters. Also I found it really hard to follow the story, even though it is very clear who says what (thanks to the color). I think it's mostly the punctuation. like WHAT!! should be WHAT?! or this thing:

,....

should not even exist I think it's the comma-ellipsis-full stop chaos that made me really confused (I actually read it three times and now I think what is going on). The bit where the head talks and says DELIVER ME in a funny font and then there is a "translation" below... I don't think it was necessary. 1. I could read it just fine without the "translation". 2. if you use a font that you think is not legible enough so that you have to put subtitles... don't use that font. I guess the only time when you would want that is if idk, you are drawing aliens and using some cosmic nonsense script for the aliens talk and then subtitle that. Also if you use lettering with capitals and low caps, make sure it is all correctly capitalized. Like beginning of sentences etc.

OMG, I am sory this is way longer than I planned I do like the stuff you do though, please don't stop! Your story is getting pretty intersting and I am very curious as to what's gonna happen.

Also, is the hot chick Karma's half sister or was he gonna drive her to void so she could hang out with her half brother? I am now starting to think it's the former but...
The confusion.

looks like your art is super solid, though hands might be a weak point? sometimes they look good, sometimes off. the only big problem I have with this though is your text and bubbles! I don't like how your sound effects look, maybe try hand drawing those? the font isn't a good choice either, there's a ton of free comic fonts out there though, I think blambot is the place everyone goes to. I'd adjust the way the words sit in the bubbles too, like the giant SO filling up a bubble vs the smaller text chunk with a ton of empty space the page before. just make it all uniform, I think it'll flow better!

Thanks will do!

email it to mechatoast@gmail.com and explain and he will post it up for you!

page 5 is missing somehow,...is there a way to fix it ?

allright 4 pages are up,hope to get the fith done tonight.
#vacationmode#lazyass

info in advance:im doing these pages(beyond battle) pure as an excersise to get my panneling/lettering/storytelling to a more higher level/standard. i learned alot from it ,and tried to incorperate al the advices given.