Gray vs. Gregory Howling

Gray vs. Gregory Howling

This comic has not been rated; viewer discretion advised.

Icon for Gray56.8%
496 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8Page 9Page 10Page 11Page 12Page 13

Crit level: No preference


This comic has not been rated; viewer discretion advised.

Icon for Gregory Howling43.2%
378 points
Page 1Page 2Page 4Page 5

Crit level: No preference




Critiques & Comments
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Pennydox
Artist
235 comments
# 16   Posted: Sep 12 2014, 10:09 AM
Hey you two, let's talk.

AnimeShen: Grey still hasn't figured it out =_=;. I felt your story, although 13 pages (which is very impressive for two weeks), had a rushed ending. The shading was kind of iffy, and it felt like grey and gregory's skin was blue and not because of the night. Blue being the prominent color should not mean everything but grey's hair and blood should be blue, and if there's a bright non-blue light shining at her, her skin and clothes color should be shown too. I feel some of her expressions don't reflect what she's saying (page 2/panel4, page9/panel 4, page 11/panel 2). I think it's because her personality is suddenly changing it's hard for you to choose what kind of expression would be more appropriate for what she's saying.

GPS Device: It's surprising to see such a rough comic from you. I hope you do better next time. If you ever decide to do a pencil page like this with shading, I recommend you get an actual wooden pencil or graphite pencil, and use the side of the pencil (not the tip or pointy edge) to shade. Saves you a TON of time, and is far more consistent with less streaks. Although that technique will not save your unfinished roughs, it will at least make it look a bit more aesthetically pleasing as a rough.

Chimaeric
Artist
249 comments
# 15   Posted: Sep 2 2014, 11:36 AM
@Animeshen: I like what I'm seeing. Strong action scenes, good character acting and an easy to follow plot. There are some scaling issues when it comes to placing the characters in perspective, especially when they're moving dynamically in space (examples: page 3, panels 4 and 5). In some of these panels, these issues can be resolved by choosing an alternative camera shot that focused on the action more than the entire scene. However, when it comes to your backgrounds, they detract from your main action because you are using the same line quality to draw them as you do your characters and objects existing in the foreground. Always change up the line variation/width when you're creating a scene that uses space and perspective.
 Looking at your style, I want to propose a couple of radical suggestions to amplify your style.
1. Use larger spaces and smaller character scales. Practice placing characters in open spaces.
Examples: http://cdn.3oneseven.com/wp-content/uploads/HLIC/moebius-universe.jpg
http://hqscreen.com/wallpapers/l/1366x768/26/artwork_drawings_french_temple_traditional_art_moebius_1366x768_25534.jpg
 This is of course a more radical approach, since it can come off as a departure with your current style.
2. Another suggestion is to implement atmospheric perspective. I think this might be a better alternative since it would take emphasis off of the backgrounds and put more focus on the characters.
examples: http://lcrazzy1.narod.ru/image/fantasy/zdzislaw_beksinski/zdzislaw_beksinski_25.jpg
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/35/Rain_Steam_and_Speed_the_Great_Western_Railway.jpg

@GPS-Device: I don't know. Its hard to pinpoint what you need to improve upon when all you're going to show is process work. Lets see some final product GPS!

Red
Council
703 comments
# 14   Posted: Sep 2 2014, 09:41 AM
[quote
I assume it's not fair to help artists, but what about after the fact? if GPS would be willing to send me pages so I can practice ink and color would that be ok?[/quote]
After voting is done, you can do whatever you guys want privately. There is also an option to collaborate like 2 vs 2 battles where two people work together against 2 other people. But yeah, unless it is set up that way, helping an artist out during a match is against the rules.  

BrutalBrutal
4 comments
# 13   Posted: Sep 2 2014, 08:51 AM
These were so hard to score side by side.

I won't repeat the negatives as they're all there and likely told by better artists.

Animeshen - I love the palette and some of the frames are really cool like the expressions on the bottom right of page 11. Gave you 8 9 and 10. Halfway through I just thought "This is FREE? I'm so lucky to have found this site"

GPS - Envious of your skill and I really like that you compared their heights the way you did. Would love to see you draw Grey V Wolfed out Greg. 7 8 10

I assume it's not fair to help artists, but what about after the fact? if GPS would be willing to send me pages so I can practice ink and color would that be ok?

Fearn
Artist
366 comments
# 12   Posted: Aug 31 2014, 02:33 PM
Shen - i looove what you do with your colors. Although i agree what Puzzle said i think more shading would be good. But color palettes, blimey! I am gonna watch and learn! I love where the story is going. Like, when ages ago you did that "fuck with your pages jam" and pasted bits from lord of the rings - this is it really, isnt it? ;).... Why can i remembe this i am not sure.

Gps - it could have been so beautiful... Well i still think this looks cracking.

Animeshen
Artist
1490 comments
# 11   Posted: Aug 30 2014, 06:50 PM
thank you all for your comments. GPS, I wish desperately that you could have finished your because its WONDERFUL. you write drama the way I wish I could write drama, its soooo good, and your art improves by leaps and bounds every new comic, its staggering. I wish you had finished so you could win because I dont think I did Howling justice, which Im sad about because I've been wanting this fight for about a thousand years, haha! Im so sorry I screwed mine up, i keep trying to write these dramatic stories and they just keep getting worse and worse. I can see what I did wrong, they start fighting too abruptly, they stop fighting too abruptly, the composition is hard to follow,the whole thing really needed shadows but I was dividing my time between this and short n sweet and that was a huge mistake, and in the end the whole thing is just laughable rather than unsettling. Im sorry GPS I really wanted to give you a better fight. yours is sooooo good for whats there. Thanks for coming back to fight me!

Video320
Artist
116 comments
# 10   Posted: Aug 29 2014, 03:52 PM
Shen - Thats a whole lot a pages for 2 weeks, impressive.  i like your simple night time color palette. What you have going with Gray, her spiral downward toward rockbottom. I feel like your starting to repeat yourself a bit. Not so much Gray's constant fall but how she meets someone new loses trust then becomes more evil. A little variation goes a long way. Other then that i think this was a pretty successful comic. I'm excited to see whats next for miss Gray, all this build u should make for a nice climax. :)

GPS - i'm sad you couldn't give this a more finished look. wanting to die is a pretty heavy conclusion and it sucks you left us hanging. Till next time then.

Hobbittastic
Artist
164 comments
# 9   Posted: Aug 29 2014, 09:18 AM
*Shen-*

That second panel with the beer bottle is NOT right. If you tilt the screen it's not even on both sides of the neck, and beer bottles widen as the neck goes down. Right now it looks like a dildo. I hate to say it and it feels like a cheap shot- but it totally looks like a dildo. Rotate the canvas when you draw- and maybe making it a little translucent would sell more that it is glass. Or at least show the liquid line.
Also, if you compare him sitting at the gate (pg 1 vs page 2) the proportions of him to the gate change a lot.
Page 3- first panel- CHECK HER ANATOMY! Her heel to her butt is waaaay too long compared to the rest of her. Also, I'd change the angle of that leap; it looks flat and doesn't sell the pose very well.
Between page 4 and 5- what causes the 180* flip? He didn't throw her to the side (it LOOKS like he pushed her BACK not sideways) I get she was suppose to be thrown right, but she needed to go right in the panel and not middle (back into space). Cause right now you have the 180* flipped because you show the actual tossing her to the right on page 6 and that is confusing- it looks like she goes right twice.
Although I like how her ghostly magic is done- it kind of happens out of nowhere. All of a sudden her hand goes through him?? He doesn't appear to get closer to her; she just kinda sticks her hand forward? It just kind of HAPPENS? If you get what I'm saying?
Page 8- last panel- could have been staged better. You did the angle/foreshortening okay but there is too much going on right in the middle of the panel. Her hands, her magic, her ripped cloth, his fur, his hair etc. Maybe try zooming it out??
Page 9- DON'T SEPARATE MIS-TIMED! It reads weird because you separated the prefix from the word and that really only works for "solid" words (such as 'something')

Also, they kind of stop fight out of nowhere. Like, she hurts him and they start talking about it? Then they're done fighting???

The whole MY BLOOD /MY BLOOOOD/ part could have been staged way more dramatically. It falls flat. Mood shading would def help here. It seems like such an important realization and it's shoved into kind small panels.

You know I love Gray, but her dress kind of muffles her silhouette a lot. I suggest spending time on doing major underdrawing to make it clear or consider a different outfit. Look at Page 9 top panel- that is super muddy. I get what is going on but it doesn't sell the action.

*GPS-*

Awwwe, these sketches look good; wish they were inked.
Page 1- last panel- I love how planted her pose is. It's a good weighted drawing.
I looked at your past comics (Gregory's) for reference and in general I like your crosshatching, but watch out for too much. When everything with a tone has it in the panel it can look washed out.
(sorry if saying that isn't relevant to this particular comic)
Page 3- watch out of the bottom of that foot. I like the drawing (the cloth flexes really nice) and I get it may have been fixed in inking.
Page 4- you already used a close up of a foot and it doesn't make sense with the 180*. Like, you didn't show the turn. And you already used it as a first panel of the previous page.

Pages 2, 3 and 4 are all pretty much the same even 6 panels. Add more variety.


Puzzlething
Artist
457 comments
# 8   Posted: Aug 28 2014, 09:20 PM
Shen             -

             I wish you'd added more shadow/light form than just the blue shadows in Gray's hair. It's such a fantastically moody setting, a darkened city street just outside a graveyard, and there's alot of really dramatic light sources you could've worked with. Not only do you have those powerful streetlamps, but also the burning blue light of Gray's magic. I really think, just working lights and shadow on top of the flats you already have, you could create a super moody comic.

           I love that you're trying new stuff with your colours though! Not only is it consistent and controlled, but you're really keeping the mood of the story in mind, and not just going strait to what colour something "should" be. Even Gray's hair, which you've traditionally rendered as a very primary yellow, is lighter and less saturated so that it fits into the scene. You're just getting way better at colouring dude!


GPS                -

            Noooooo, your beautiful inks ;_;

            I think you need to pull out a little bit, give us a sense of the space. Your shots are all very tight, and I think you could have strengthened the feeling that Gray is confronting some terrifying monster with just the use of space. Like, you use a bunch of side shots of her facing the cave, but what about having it stretch high and dark in front of her, unknowable and massive. You use that close side-shot of her a bunch of times.

    While alot of the roughness in this comic just comes from deadlines being awful, there's always time to make good choices. Draftsmanship and rendering take a lot of time to polish and build up. So if you find you just don't have that time, just take that effort and push it into your storytelling, ideas, and concepts. And I've seen alot of great visual storytelling from you, so I know you've got it!

Elyan
Artist
132 comments
# 7   Posted: Aug 28 2014, 11:32 AM
animeshen, enjoyable read :) the pagecount in full inks and colour is pretty impressive.
the fight scene is well writen and drawn.
i just feel like you could have started the fight in a more convincing way. maybe its just in character of gray but just shooting him? i dont see a point for that move and the "surprising" counterattack... well why didnt she care to have a look. she just shot him with no good reason. (ignore me if its understandable with the background of her previous battles)

gps: talking about your art i feel like you might have done a pretty nice entry here. if you had cleaned it up here and there that is. sure inks and colours would have helped but at this point a little cleaner/less chaotic pencils(especially on gray) could have helped alot.
story wise... i like it. the intro is also not very convincing for me but the following scenes feel quiet natural.

GPS-Device
Artist
124 comments
# 6   Posted: Aug 26 2014, 09:27 PM
Not very long, nor inked unfortunately. Misjudged how much I had to do with family and prepping for school starting again. Still, it was fun, and I will try to get this inked later, cause I'd still like to do it.

Animeshen
Artist
1490 comments
# 5   Posted: Aug 26 2014, 04:46 PM
Uploaded. went for a bit of a colour theme in this one, hope it looks okay. Gray's comics are going to start to get really really weird. I mean, weirdER.

Rose
Web Dev
1180 comments
# 4   Posted: Aug 8 2014, 04:24 AM
ABOUT GOSH DANG TIME GEEPEE!

GPS-Device
Artist
124 comments
# 3   Posted: Aug 7 2014, 12:30 PM
This is gonna be a fun one

Dechado
Artist
255 comments
# 2   Posted: Aug 5 2014, 04:16 PM
Howling is back! C8

Best of wishes, you two!


Animeshen
Artist
1490 comments
# 1   Posted: Aug 5 2014, 02:49 AM
This is happening. Prepare your bodies.

Comic Details -

 
Regular Match
Drawing Time: 2 weeks + 1
Ended: Sep 3rd, 2014
Votes Cast: 22
Page Views: 1931
Winner: Animeshen
 

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