Puzzlething: yeah, I'm an eyeballer when it comes to backgrounds. Hmm, technical perspective? I have to admit I've had very little background practice. Ok, I'll try the horizon line and vanishing points!! Thanks!
True, I love drawing different expressions, but they tend to look a bit static~ I should push the envelope more!! Thanks for the tip!!
I'm looking forward to trying these critiques in my next comic!

Fern       -

     One way you could make it a little more obvious that these are separate people in different places at the same time is to watch your pacing. You always make the shift to a different instance of Dr. Calderwood on a new page. When you do that, it kinda suggests the passage of time. Try to make the switch before the end of a page, so that it feels more like stuff is happening concurrently. Besides that, what you're doing with the varied outfits and settings totally helps.

     The natural way you move from each Doctor to the other is p great, I like the idea that they share some sort of vague mental connection like that.


Quartney           -

                     Do you know how to do technical perspective? It looks like you're just kinda eyeballing alot of your background stuff, like the table and the shape of the room, and that stuff is way easier if you just quickly drop a horizon line and some vanishing points down, even if you don't wanna use a ruler.

                 Also, don't be afraid to push your expressions a little farther, especially when you're not doing a cartoon face gag. There are a few spots, especially when Marz is trying to get away, that he looks bored more than anything else. Cartoon faces are funny and everything, but if you rely on them whenever you need to draw an extreme emotion, you're never going to learn how to make your characters expressive and real.

              It's a great first showing dude, keep it up!

You're welcome! Yeah! I was able to panic less because of our emailing! Hehe...no more disappearing backgrounds for me!

Quartney! Thanks again for the battle! It was great fun and it was a really good to talk to you so much during the creative process

...here you will never get away with disappearing backgrounds

NRG: Thanks for the critique! Good idea! I'll focus on the anatomy more, get some practice in. Those backgrounds are gonna haunt me for life...(T ^ T) Yes. they disappeared at the end. I hoped no one would notice......

Mister KENT: Next comic you say?! Polished it will be!! I guarantee my second battle will be marvelous! Thanks so much!  

Thanks again for the comments and the critiques everyone! <3
Aside from my horrendously annoying procrastination...I had a ton of fun with my first battle! Congrats Fern! You got me! > 3<)/

Fern - Good to see you in action once more!! I can really tell you've improved--those inks are looking really clean. Some of the perspective is off, so panels like the bottom of Page 2 seem strangely flattened out. There are some good perspective, though--the elephant chase in the tunnel on the following page is nicely done! Can't wait to see where Dr. Calderwood goes from here, and hopefully I get to battler her sometime.

Quartney - Nice first battle!! There were some sketchy parts and hopefully the next comic has a more polished look, but it was a solid read. I like how you're paying attention to body language--no one is static, characters are always in motion. Practicing anatomy wil really help this, too. I also like how you do facial expressions. I look forward to more Marz in the future!

Fern:  You got a pretty neat story going on, and those inks are good.

Quartney:  I'm curious about what happens next.  Those necks get a little thin, or is it just me.  You could benefit a bit from some anatomy study (i.e. look at photos of people and study them) and maybe adding a little more detail on the backgrounds.  And more backgrounds, because they seem to have disappeared in the later pages.

From what you guys have, good stuff.

Thanks Lee! It was a fun run and I hope I can post a continuation between my next challenges!

I enjoyed both comics and I hope you guys finish them and are able to post them somewhere =)

Fred: thank you for the feedback!
Yeah, I mistakably waited too long to start drawing so I basically ran out of time, thus not getting to the point. ;__; I'll make sure to time manage for my next challenge.
 I definitely need to condense!! That was the hardest for me...I need to really practice that! Ooh! I didn't realize cutting off the tops of heads made such a difference!

Fern: What probably woulda helped is returning back to the cave right after she's having her conversation with Bub. MAYBE have both Ivys thinking from the same thought bubble, idunno... also, probably having at least two Ivys in one of the locations may have helped tip it off, like you did in the intro comic. The way the pages progressed it put me under the impression that she went back to her house and asked Bub for advice, so this element definitely needs more tinkering to get across~

Fred ta very much for the comments! I had several unforseen things come up while drawing this, so it's not drawn quite up to standard I wanted. I feel really bad about it :[ At one point it was between a badly finished or unfinished, so I opted for the former.

You make a very good point with the non-obviousness of multiple persona. But how to fix it? I try to put a little thing at the start explaining stuff, but I am gonna guess it was too cryptic. Should I make it more obvious? Have a scene that explains it? I would rather steer away from Wolverine style beginning of a comic, where in each episode we find out at the beginning he is the best one there is at what he does etc... (Although I love these, I think they are a bit cheesy ) I am very much open for suggestions here.

Fern: fun stuff, I really dig her problem solving in multiple places, but I still don't think I'd understand if I didn't already know the concept from reading her bio. I like the heavy blacks, but the hatching stuff can get messy. Like what's that cave? It's just a long round hatching spree, never seen a cave quite like it! The story was good. Bub's great and the doctor's great for taking his suggestion so literally.

Quartney: This didn't need to be continued if you'd gotten to the point. It's nice to have situations developing when you can, but if it means you stop before anything really happens, then that's no good, you just build up to nothing. You take 5 pages for something that could easily take one or two. Condense! I was a bit confused as to why he was confused on page 5, because you show the multiple doctors on different panels, so it's not immediately evident that she duplicated. You should have invested your page in that, rather than the two super big panel of just her walking. You cut the top of heads a lot, and it feels poorly framed as a result. Really plan your composition, and back your camera a bit if you want to show the body, don't just tilt it down to where the body is.

Aww man, I'm too excited!
Or maybe it's the caffeine and 3 hours of sleep talking...(touch-ups took way longer than I expected...)!!
Ivy and Bub were so much fun to draw...though I was unable to draw a certain scene I really wanted to (It woulda been 5+ pages longer if I did!)~
But alas! I'm glad we both made it (no defaulting here!)!  Let the battle commence!...in a couple hours!!

So I think one of those "series of unfortunate events" books could be written about me trying to dothis comic... But alas, it is complete! Funnily enought what happens to Marz in last page (7) is roughly what I was doing most of the day today :[

Thanks! I'm excited to see how my first battle goes!

Good luck you two!!

alright! New character faceoff!