Intro Story / Ignatius Weaver

Intro Story — Ignatius Weaver


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Puzzlething
Artist
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457 comments
# 11   Posted: Jan 8 2014, 05:04 PM
     I critiqued a little in the incubator, but it still sucks I missed you in approvals dude. I actually didn't even get to see what the other mods said, so hopefully I'm not just repeating stuff they mentioned.

    Looking at those Frank Beddor pages you showed in the thread, I can totally see how you're trying to emulate the style of his comics. But the reason why people tell you the black gutters aren't working, and that your comics are too light/soft, are both symptoms of one mistake you've made while trying to puzzle out Frank Beddor's style. The inks on his pages are incredibly heavy and textural. Look at all those heavy, beautiful brushed blacks. Both the strength of the blacks, and their heavy texture, contrasts the softness of the colouring beautifully, and provides a bridge between the soft colour/light and black gutters. I'm not saying you need to do stuff exactly like that guy, just trying to show you what he's doing. You did say you liked his use of texture though, so have you thought of trying to illustrate some texture in your comics with linework, rather than rendering? It would certainly provide some visual relief from all that softness.

         Cliffhangers are fine as long as they feel intentional, and you don't sacrifice proper pacing and a solid resolution to something in the story of that comic.  Overarching plot and progression is fine, if difficult. Just think of each comic as a chapter.

    Can't wait to see your first battle go up dude, so hype!

RobThing
Artist
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84 comments
# 10   Posted: Jan 7 2014, 05:11 AM
Mintley
Quote
I imagine it would be more like a series, where there is a contained story in each battle as the A Plot, and then an overarching B plot. Any cliffhangers would be in the B-Plot, so that way people can still enjoy it without having to read ALL of it.

Minteh
Artist
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252 comments
# 9   Posted: Jan 3 2014, 03:14 PM
I think the point about Cliffhangers is more that you should treat battles and BB's as if no one has read your previous comics.  Not to say you should be using exposition galore, but it's reasonable to think that people will miss comics here and there.  Generally speaking, continuing from a previous comic (or comics) can lessen a person's enjoyment of your comic if they just pick up from the present, and may cause them to lose interest/get lost.

Basically, do them if you want, but make sure you are presenting your story with the level of clarity a new reader can expect to have by jumping in.

For the actual comic, I love the sort of whimsy your colours have, but the lines are all so thin and sketchy, and don't seem to indicate any depth - the colours are kind of left to take the whole brunt of that job (which they do very well).  Varying up your line widths will really help to make things pop and stand out, or to tuck them into the background.  Some of the lines do have a bit of messy bits, like on page 3, the tree in panel 2, and the branch base in the last panel also.

Excellent first showing!  I look forward to more from you :D

RobThing
Artist
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84 comments
# 8   Posted: Jan 3 2014, 12:03 PM
@Monday- You don't like cliffhangers?  *_*

@PineapplePocky- The story I have for him, it's very open to explore things, but I mean as far as Nate trying to find his sister, there is a conclusion mapped out to that. So it starts with him going to find her and ending up in The Void, and then it ends with him finding her, in not a way you might not expect. All that stuff in middle, like what happens to him and where he goes is really really open.

Monday
Artist
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923 comments
# 7   Posted: Jan 3 2014, 11:20 AM
>cliffhangers

No.

Pennydox
Artist
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230 comments
# 6   Posted: Jan 3 2014, 09:53 AM
one thing you should consider is that in Void, you make the choices of how your character's story goes, but you're also battling your opponent through comics, so they make choices with your characters too. Sometimes their battles just seem utterly epic, and suddenly you want your character to follow your opponent's story line. So just make sure to be flexible, you'll be surprised how awesome some comics turn out. Doesn't mean you HAVE to follow what they wrote about your character, but I just mean sometimes your character might walk onto a totally different path in the future.

RobThing
Artist
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84 comments
# 5   Posted: Jan 3 2014, 09:27 AM
Kozispoon
Quote
Thank you!
My first battle should be starting soon  :D
I'm setting the character up in a way that the Intro Story and all his battles tell a consecutive story. So the first battle will show where he ends up. And that battle will hopefully end a little bit more satisfyingly! (And probably with a cliffhanger. I am a sucker for creating a good cliffhanger)
Eventually the back story stuff that is in the bio, will be revealed in greater detail  ^.^  I'm not a huge fan of the info dump, especially early on in the story.

Kozispoon
Approval Committee
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1004 comments
# 4   Posted: Jan 3 2014, 08:38 AM
Welcome aboard hombre! Hard parts over, now onto harder stuff eh? Battles galore!

Your intro was visually charming, and definitely had an Alice in wonderland vibe with a creepy twist. I'll be honest, without giving your bio a read, the comic doesn't make much sense, much less grants us the payoff of seeing where he ends up once he's pulled into the tree. I do dig your artstyle and coloring though. It has this ethereal dream like quality to it that I feel enhances the fantasy vibe of what I think you're going for. I'm definitely intrigued with what this fighter will bring to the table and how your comics will be interpreted. Now get to battling!

RobThing
Artist
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84 comments
# 3   Posted: Jan 1 2014, 07:39 PM
Animeshen
Quote

Ahh yes, I was just going to fix that! Her name is Dorothy. I couldn't decide between Dorothy & Alice up to the last second and I ended up typing it up wrong  >.<  Sorry for the confusion.

Shen
Global Moderator
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1263 comments
# 2   Posted: Jan 1 2014, 07:33 PM
Theres something confusing in your bio- is his sister named Dorothy, or Alice? Or are they two different characters and you weren't being very clear? It says her name is Dorothy but then says when he returns home Alice is the only family he has left... just curious lol. as for your comic, I like the muted, earthy tones, just be careful your characters don't blend in to the background too much. your character is neat and I can't wait to see him fight!

Tofubeast
Artist
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254 comments
# 1   Posted: Jan 1 2014, 07:06 PM
Hello and welcome to void! I think your character is pretty interesting, and you have a pretty unique style as well. I'm interested to see how void will be interpreted through Ignacio's comics!

One thing I noticed is that your comic panel layouts could be  worked on a bit better so that the reader's eye will be able to follow the story easier. For example, on page four, your eye automatically goes from the top long panel to the panel where Ignacio's being grabbed by that oogiboogie thing--because it's right underneath the top panel and is much wider than the skinnier panel that's supposed to be read before it.

One solution to this is to draw another panel next to the top panel. In it, you could show him actually reacting to the drop that's in the tree hole,  carrying the dialog bubbles over those panels, and then inserting the long drop panel beneath it. You could probably break up the panel where the monster grabs him into several other panels, in order to emphasize the long drop panel.

Aside from that, this is a good start and I'll be looking forward to seeing what you do for this site!

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Ended: Jan 8th, 2014
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