Intro Story / Bellgrey Bianca

Intro Story — Bellgrey Bianca

by Torque


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Critiques & Comments
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Puzzlething
Artist
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457 comments
# 9   Posted: Nov 13 2013, 06:54 PM
Great job getting in dude! It can be super rough working on an intro comic and getting it in, but you did it! We've been missing an awesome shark character ever since Pothole disappeared, so I think Bellgrey is totally what void needs!

Kozispoon
Approval Committee
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1006 comments
# 8   Posted: Nov 13 2013, 05:36 PM
Hooray you got in and with a sassy intro comic to boot! It's great to see your fighter finally realize in a comic and getting us excited to rock. You got some pretty handy critique going on below me, so I'll just say that I hope I see it applied in your next battles.

 I gotta say, I think this is the first anthropomorphic shark we've had within VOID so I definitely am looking forward to her next adventure

Torque
Artist
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4 comments
# 7   Posted: Nov 10 2013, 07:53 PM
Hey, thanks for the feedback everybody :)

@MyHatsEatPeople: thanks! glad to see somebody got it ;) and... ah, I don't really have an excuse for the oversimplified buildings--I just was just worried that if I didn't give myself some leeway I might never finish the damn thing...

@Animeshen: haha, glad to hear it-- and hopefully you won't have to wait long!

@Tofubeast: well, I wasn't trying to make it look like they were drifting--just driving quickly over a sharp hill... I guess I need a lot more practice with car stuff.

@PyrasTerran: Wowwww... In retrospect, that seems so obvious I can't believe I forgot D:
something to keep in mind for next time I suppose...

@ProfessorZach: Thanks, that was the effect I was going for with the color~ but I'm fairly certain Bellgrey's not the only musician in Void~

@MisterKENT: Finally indeed :P Glad to be here.

Mister Kent
Artist
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941 comments
# 6   Posted: Nov 10 2013, 12:34 PM
Yay Finally :D Welcome to Void, Bellgrey Bianca!

Rocket
icon
3 comments
# 5   Posted: Nov 10 2013, 12:27 PM
Hiya I really like this character and the amount of colors you throw into this! Nothing really seems to be a dull color, which I love! Also I'm new to EnterVoid but I think this is the first music based character I've seen and I love her!

PyrasTerran
Community Manager
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1404 comments
# 4   Posted: Nov 7 2013, 06:21 PM
Welcome to entervoid~

Here is what I will critique on~

Too often artists forget that hair moves very easily especially in situations of high speed. And in this comic you've got that guy's scarf pulling back from the ride, but Bellgrey and her friends' hair are completely static. If you've driven in a convertible you know that hair doesn't stay in place like that with the wind hitting your face, so their hair should be sweeping back, left and right, looking different in each panel. This also helps give us the sense of speed that is lacking from the scene. With what Tofubeast is talking about in the first panel, what would definitely have helped stick those cars into the environment is shadows and even the kicking up of dust as those tires screech along the street.

Keep it up!

Tofubeast
Artist
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254 comments
# 3   Posted: Nov 7 2013, 06:40 AM
Welcome to Void! I love this character and how you put so much energy into her and the other characters in this story.

Like Hats said, I'd like to see just as much energy and effort put into the buildings and backgrounds of this comic as well. The cars in the first page don't seem like they're sitting correctly on the street perspective-wise--I get the sense that one of them is supposed to be drifting all over the place, but it doesn't seem like it's actually drifting on the road. More indicators like shading the road or fiddling with the perspective of the car could have indicated that. (ex: http://www.thetruthaboutcars.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/initial-d-329270.jpg)

Shen
Global Moderator
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1267 comments
# 2   Posted: Nov 6 2013, 09:25 PM
SHE IS MY HERO I LOVER HER XD glad to see you got her in! Diggin' the amps and bright colours! can't wait to see you battle!

MyHatsEatPeople
Artist
icon
393 comments
# 1   Posted: Nov 6 2013, 03:57 PM
Awesome intro dude, digging her car registration plate.

as much as I know it's a chore, try making more effort on your buildings. but good work :)

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Ended: Nov 13th, 2013
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