Doodle Dan vs. Veronica Nightingale

Doodle Dan vs. Veronica Nightingale

265 points
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Crit level: No preference

386 points
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Critiques & Comments
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# 9   Posted: Jul 24 2013, 08:26 PM
PsychoSean          -

                      I find it really hard to crit your art because you have such a strong style, and I can't really be sure what's intentional and what's just something you need to work on. I think you should strengthen your lines, get that to look really confident and strong. Then a lot of the other oddness in your style, if it's intentional, will look more a like a stylistic choice you made. Do you ink with a nib at all? I think with that you could get some strong, expressive lines, while reigning you in a little bit to keep your line-art clean.

                     This was a crazy ambitious comic to try and do in 1 week. You obviously had more pages planned, and you have like a million detailed characters and colour on every page! So many old school voiders in there, I don't even recognize half of them!

Majikura            -

                   I think it was super brave of you to try and do naive art for like most of your comic. I don't think you really pulled it off, but I also think that kind of art is incredibly hard to do right. I have absolutely no idea how someone goes about getting better at naive art though.

                 I definitely agree with Kent on Dan's old man face. I think what makes it hard for you to draw believable old guys is that your faces don't have a lot dimension. That works fine with the anime face of a pretty girl like Veronica, but an old guy face is defined by how time has contorted the form of it. You have to use more than surface details that suggest age. I'd say most of the art mistakes in this comic are caused by rushing, except for this. Work on broadening the range of faces you draw, it can only increase the kind of characters you have at your disposal and make your stories that much richer.

It's awesome to see you both so active, great work guys!

Mister Kent
# 8   Posted: Jul 24 2013, 01:40 PM
PsychoSean - I will agree that markers often need a little extra touch-up after scanning, just a bit more contrast for one thing. I do like the flow of your action though, and your choice of angles - the trio of panels on the left on page1 remind me of Mos Eisley cantina, and the feeling that shit's about to go down. I like the choice of angle on the very last panel of page2, but it would have been better served/more dramatic with a bigger panel. To help the pacing, that would have been a nice large opening panel for a third page. It's cool you're trying some different stuff here, so I say keep it up! :D

Majikura - I actually really liked the concept of your comic. I think even for a one-weeker, the first five pages couldn't have taken you very long, so I'd expect a little more attention to the last pages in your real style. Or at the very least more of those kind of pages, because basically it feels like you both did 2-page comics here. Also I think you struggled with drawing Doodle Dan--he looks all right in panel3 of page 6, but the ONLY time we see him clearly it looks like your smooth style tried to take out all his intricate wrinkles. I'd suggest practicing more winkly/older/lumpy folks, because you never know when that'll come in handy! That said, I like the idea and am curious to see Veronica's motherhood journey moving forward.

# 7   Posted: Jul 23 2013, 08:40 AM
pyscho sean: When you do markers, you almost always need to bump up the saturation/contrast or it looks muddy.

kura: I've never seen a pic of Veronica's son, but I personally thought that was very cute and adoable (lol he's got 'lazer' in his vocab already). And actually they have shoes for kids that have built in gps for parents, since some kids have really bad short term memory issues end up wandering around getting lost in public spaces.

Approval Committee
# 6   Posted: Jul 22 2013, 01:03 PM
one weekers >:I I know there wasn't a lot of time but I'm not really into either of these.

dan, what you got looks.. bad. looks like your markers need work. streaks and muddiness. and you definitely need to scan better and make adjustments. your thin lines are too thin, almost can't make them out against the colors.

kura, cute idea but I don't like that it's the majority of your comic! I get that it's not supposed to look good, but it was actually a struggle for me to get through. the last two pages aren't even up to your normal standard it looks like.

Global Moderator
# 5   Posted: Jul 20 2013, 10:51 PM
haha, I liked how you did yours Kura, simple AND funny! (I didn't know she had a kid?! I guess I should read more archives). what a class act that Veronica if Dan is spot on there, lol! #1 Mom. I'm picturing in the future for that kid some kind of Rusty Venture scenario.
sean I... wasn't completely sure what happened in yours?? sorry... but I like your choice of colours, and I like how you can fill a page!

Sean Patrick Kelly
# 4   Posted: Jul 18 2013, 10:10 AM
Wow, that was fun Majikura I loved your story, and you nailed my character well with a sweet ending. Funny thing is my story was gonna be about your kid too, but as you can see i didnt make it. Thanks for the fight

Cracking Skulls
Global Moderator
# 3   Posted: Jul 10 2013, 09:14 PM
Dan knows how to treat the Queens

read: Dan is out for their heads

Sean Patrick Kelly
# 2   Posted: Jul 10 2013, 09:10 AM
Majikura: First the Queen of the Underground, now the Queen of the Sky.

haha i didn't even notice that!

# 1   Posted: Jul 10 2013, 07:46 AM
First the Queen of the Underground, now the Queen of the Sky.

Comic Details -

Drawing Time: 1 week
Ended: Jul 24th, 2013
Votes Cast: 20
Page Views: 678
Winner: Majikura


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