Bain Carter vs. Beta

Bain Carter vs. Beta

by pwnt2j

This comic has not been rated; viewer discretion advised.

Icon for Bain Carter41.6%
269 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4

Crit level: No preference


by Betito

This comic has not been rated; viewer discretion advised.

Icon for Beta58.4%
377 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8Page 9

Crit level: No preference




Critiques & Comments
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Angie
Council
1937 comments
# 13   Posted: Mar 14 2013, 06:59 PM
pwnt2j-Not too much I can say considering the stage this is at. I think that your pacing is good, but the comic is overall difficult to read.

Betito-It's good that you're experimenting with coloring styles, but I feel  like your cel shaded stuff works better. I think had you inked the lines the coloring would have worked a bit better, because right now the pencils are getting lost in the colors which makes them look sort of muddy. Try to have someone proof read your script prior to submitting, because some of the pages are unreadable. Page 3 is an example of what I mean. The text there doesn't really make sense. The action here is strong, but as I said, the dialogue is hard to read.

EyeAmPhibian
Artist
97 comments
# 12   Posted: Mar 14 2013, 03:24 AM
pwnt2j:
Your comic would improve massivley with some more finish. You're drawing stlye is fluid and evocative, but people aren't going to pay it much attention to it without some extra flash to it. Essentially I would view your comic as a really nice set of thumbnails that clearly show exactly what you want to do and if you were now to finish it off it has the potential to look great.
Storywise I liked the constant action / interaction of the characters, the story ended way too abruptly though.
I see that you went with a story that hadf no explanation whatsoever of where we are, whats going on, why the hell there is a big lizard on the floor, which is fine as long as you pad the world out a bit. A lack of description storywise can sometimes be made up for if you show that the world is indepth and intriguing. A blank tunnel and a boringly rendered lizard aren't really that captivating. Give them some more visual oomph and the readers attention will be captured tenfold.


Betito:
I think the colours are actually really beautiful, maybe it would look beter if you just made your lines darker. Maybe not completely black, because I am guessing you were going for quite a pastel look, but maybe a dark brown colour?
The action and movement of the different characters looked great but because I had no idea why they were fighting, who was who, and the story was just overall a bit of a jumpy unexplained mess I didn't really care much for what was going on, which is really a shame because you obviously puut quite a lot of time and effort into making it look good.
Next time it would be much better making a story that is worth making look good. I certainly feel that if you have a really well planned out, coherent story, you will be much motivated to make it look exquisite and work even hard on it than you did this one, which hopefully would create amazing results.

Kozispoon
Artist
1211 comments
# 11   Posted: Mar 13 2013, 06:50 PM
I think I gotta echo GPS- Device on my surprise over the time alotted for this battle and the resulting work. 3 weeks is a long time and what we've got here (respectfully) seems underwhelming. Still though, kudos on not defaulting!

PWNT2J- So rough. So rough and bare boned I didn't realize your fighter was in the comic at all until I spied the fighters profile/design sheet. not gonna lie this is a surprising result considering the amount of time you had for this battle. Here's hoping you wrangle that time management for the next battle though!

BETITO-  I think your first page really gives the reader a feel over what to expect and I'm not sure how you worked these pages, but the line quality is so faint. That coupled with the colors really makes for uncomfortable viewing. In a way it almost feels like the pages are blurred. I like that it sharpens up on page two as the lines get stronger and darker, but as you move on, the line saturation kind of wiggles around. I had to give you characters profile page a look-see to make sure who your actual fighter was. surprisingly you don't see her featured very much in your comic and if anything I felt like your opponent got the lions share of the spotlight on top of the rest of the team. I read up on your profile and see your fighter part of a superhero group so I'd be mindful that groups tend to swamp your character and detract focus. I highly suggest finding a way to place her in the forefront.

I do dig the sentai designs and characters tho-Best of luck with working a more complete and polished comic in your next battle!

Con
Artist
92 comments
# 10   Posted: Mar 11 2013, 11:09 PM
Pwtn: I really like the feel of your lines. You've got a great style going on here, and your establishing shots and angles are hinting at something really nice coming through here. I wasn't suprised to see that there wasn't too much in the start/end category as that seems to be a thing in Void, but I also feel like you could have thrown your hat a little further into the ring for a three week escapade. Hope to see more from you, though in a finished fashion, sometime soon.

Betito: I agree with a lot of what's been said. I also agree with whoever commented about the colours you're using. Something about them is really drowning your lines and neat style, especially in the faces and little details. I actually  found myself preferring your pencils because they were so clean and well defined, like in that last page there with the kingly fellow. I'll be honest, I found the actual story of this hard to follow. Characters coming and going. I think an establishing shot or two for you could go a long way, let me know where all these peeps are in relation to each other.


Revelarts
23 comments
# 9   Posted: Mar 11 2013, 07:25 PM
Pwtn:
drawings feel great. I personally like sparse bgs from time2time. the layouts are clean. could be beutomus if finished.
story has a bit of of a old Heavy metal mag feel, a bit non sequitur, slice of oddness. sorta works for me, kinda sorta.

Betito:
cool art , neat look.
story: i couldn't follow too easily. I'm not a regular so i'm not familar with the characters an i felt loke i was dump in the middle of something with a lot of back story. with a bit of a power ranger satire in the mix. And I was'nt sure of some of the action at 1st or even notice the scarf had hands until the end there. It was interesting but i had to work to hard IMO

but generally, you both have quality work. kudos

Julz
Artist
411 comments
# 8   Posted: Mar 10 2013, 09:47 AM
I finally got around to reading/ voting on these.
There wasn't really a lot of context to go on in Pwn's  comic. It felt really bare. I'd like to see more of a story there, it didn't really feel like anything happened.
Betito, this was an entertaining comic! I enjoyed all the different perspectives and facial expressions used. Sad that you couldn't fit as much detail as you'd like, and couldn't finish coloring, but what has been done looks clear enough for me to follow. I love these characters and I hope to see more!!

Betito
Artist
104 comments
# 7   Posted: Mar 9 2013, 08:23 PM
I decided to make a battle themed on sentai because Bain Carter is a fan of that genre, but it would have been preferable for this comic an introduction to Beta.
Thanks for the criticism and advice, I will try to correct them for the next! :)

GPS-Device
Artist
124 comments
# 6   Posted: Mar 9 2013, 08:36 AM
pwnt2j: Gonna come right out and say it. This felt lazy. 3 weeks time, and it feels like you barely chipped in a week. Use your time better. The overall premise, I don't really get. Why are they in the sewers? What is it that they're down there for? If you have a comic take place in a strange place, you need to give some reason for why they're there, and why the reader should care. All I see in this is that Beta is wandering the sewer for no reason, Bain shows up and tells her to be quiet while something ominous, but otherwise docile, walks right by, and then Bain leaves. Give us something more, some reason to care about what they might be doing. And next, backgrounds. While you've got basic details going on, that's all they really are. You've got a lot of panels, with a LOT of empty space, and some background details can really help fill that. You've got some really nice shots and fun expressions going on here, but you seriously need to tighten up your finished product.

Betito: You're backgrounds feel pretty lazy throughout most of this. Your cityscape is nothing but "Brown rectangles", spice it up a bit! Whenever you do your uncolored panels, you've got some sick detail there, bring that in in the rest of it! When you boost the quality of details up like that, but leave it lazy elsewhere, it just makes me sad you didn't do it everywhere. Your grammar needs work, and I'd try to get someone who really knows English, preferably someone who speaks it as their first language, to proofread your dialogue for you. Also, if your gonna have characters who are supposed to be important to your plot, make sure they're not the ones you don't color, ESPECIALLY if its gonna be a visual cue your relying on them for. And also, your lines here are really soft, and don't work well in my opinion with the soft colors you've gone with. Bain's light black skin with his light purple hair make it really hard to discern whether or not you've actually separated the colors for his eyebrows or not. Try using more contrasting colors, or at least a bit more saturated, casue right now, it just feels really flat.

Now both of you, get out there and keep on battling!

Majikura
Artist
469 comments
# 5   Posted: Mar 9 2013, 07:29 AM
is noone else really going to comment and vote on these two?  Then I guess I will.

pwntj2: I feel like this is only the intro to a bigger comic, as it lacks a conflict and comes to a disappointing resolution.  I'm going to assume this is unfinished and wish you better time management in future battles.

betito: I want to guess these are shogi themed sentai versus chess themed invaders?  It took me a while to figure it out but that concept is quite creative.  The story is a typical sentai forumla and i can accept that, but I'm wondering why the sentai in the first place?  While this didnt affect my votes, I was wondering why on your very first battle with this character do we not get to see more of Beta's actual story and motivations.  I dunno, i guess i was sort of expecting a "second intro" or something.

William_Duel
Community Manager
943 comments
# 4   Posted: Mar 8 2013, 10:25 AM
pwntj2: It's good to see you trying to get unto the saddle here but there's not much to go on here.  These resemble thumbs more than anything else so....it could be something great?  But without a finished product, we'll never know.  

Betito: This is a bit difficult to read, the pacing and flow are pretty stilted.  This initial line about 'cabra' bothers me because it doesn't actually explain much.  Is cabra the person with white hair standing there or an entity or what?  And why does Cabra being out of action necessitate BOTH Bain and Beta becoming rangers?  What made them good ranger candidates in the first place?  I like the designs here much better than what is in your intro comic and the monster design is particularly eye catching.  I like it a lot.  The villain too, though he is never shown in full detail, seems to have an interesting design.  While colorful your backgrounds are too much like placeholders.  The colors are very good and I like looking at them so that is a plus.  And I truly enjoyed the cameo by Void's greatest sentai hero, the winner of the Sentai tournament.  I'm not sure how much I like the body types though as everyone seems to to have the eerily slender body.  The villain is the only different one but more variety amongst the others would be welcome too.  

For those of you haven't read Jetaime's entry into the Sentai tournament go back and read it, it's phenomenal and should be inspiring to everyone.  

Betito
Artist
104 comments
# 3   Posted: Mar 6 2013, 11:01 PM
Uploaded :3
Good luck! :D

The Bent One
Artist
564 comments
# 2   Posted: Feb 18 2013, 10:07 AM
I expect pages, period. DRAW, DRAW, DRAW!

Cracking Skulls
Artist
354 comments
# 1   Posted: Feb 13 2013, 10:02 PM
can't wait to see this battle! I EXPECT GOOD PAGES.

Good luck to you both!

Comic Details -

 
Regular Match
Drawing Time: 3 weeks
Ended: Mar 14th, 2013
Votes Cast: 22
Page Views: 1774
Winner: Betito
 

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