KURA YOU PUT HIM IN THE COMIC OH MY GOD. NATHANIEL HAS NOW ENTERED THE VOID.

Ok, I'll do my own my own self-crit at the end of the week but lemme do one for Kura.
I think one that truly bothers me is the way you ink. Its always hard for me to properly describe but you should work on the way you do line weight.
I guess an example is line consistancy. In page 3, you draw out a panel one in nice thin lines but then all the close ups that follow have lines that are two times thicker, then you use that same thickness for sonny getting punched and then you went back to thinner lines in the following panel.
Also practice foreshortening.
In addition to line widths watch how you connect your lines and how your lines look as a whole. This is because sometimes you draw up a character it seems likeyou draw up a bunch of thick to thin and sometimes your lines barely touch or they passthrough or the connect but the two lines that make up a cape or hair are too different and dont feel like they go together

Kura: OH MY GOD.

Bronesto: Duuuude, this is unfinished and that's a bummer. I like that you're trying to do with the facial expressions. I can tell that you're taking a page from Araki's book in terms of style and odd poses, but I'll agree with everyone else in saying that you should probably focus on your proportions when it comes to people and backgrounds.

ORALE RALE RALE RALE RALE!

Majikura- That was a great read from a funny analysis of certain tropes that amateur comickers find hard to resist. It was easy to read and i understood most of the references. I don't think i can read the story of another da or void comic without thinking of what your battle points out.

Coatl- i find it difficult to critique incomplete entries, but i enjoyed the interesting cause-and-effect relationship depicted in your side of this battle. Orale!

Majikura- That was a great read from a funny analysis of certain tropes that amateur comickers find hard to resist. It was easy to read and i understood most of the references. I don't think i can read the story of another da or void comic without thinking of what your battle points out.

Coatl- i find it difficult to critique incomplete entries, but i enjoyed the interesting cause-and-effect relationship depicted in your side of this battle. Orale!

Majikura - haha, ouch. many many burns. Great comic. Which is weird considering the subject. Laughed a bunch. That shot with Xia overlooking the bridge on page 2 is pretty sweet. the perspective is kinda wonky on page 5 though. Good Stuff overall!

Coatl - I'm a sucker for a sad ending. Giving up on someone is tough but realistic choice to make. Wish you could of finished this though.

kura: I get that this was supposed to be a parody of several things, and I get the jokes, but this was a real struggle to read through. not my cup of tea I guess! also, I think the tight deadline is really showing in this comic, there's a lot of drawings that just aren't at your usual level.

coatl: ANATOMY. PLS. pretty much every time you've drawn cue, she looks really weird. HUGE head, scrawny body. this happens to sonny too in a lot of panels. those faces on page 2 panel 2 are really strange looking, sonny in particular. then there's that super tiny window in sonny's room? a lot of your pencils looks sloppy, and not ready to be inked. you also got these big pages with huge text. and finish next time!

why cant I hold all this juice!?!?!?

majikura: might be my imagination, but have you always been adding comic tone dots to your stuff? The mood suddenly changed with it. Well, it caught my eye this time, and I see all sorts of variety. Just make sure not to go overboard to the point where the tones overpower the lines themselves. For example, when the dots are bigger and further away, it looks less like shading and more like dot patterns. And then at that point, when you stick those big dots next to your clean black lines, the line work suddenly doesn't look so powerful anymore (i'm pointing to page seven). It can be done, but for me, I just kinda shy away from the big tone dots and if I need a darker shadow I find tones with small dots that are closer together to gimme the effect I want. Also, I really liked that last panel on page 7, it would be pretty cool to see a whole comic have that feeling one day.

Coatl: Your final drawings seem very tightened up, to the point where the characters look much older than what I would imagine their age may be. It's also partly because you draw such defined muscles and faces, but the heads are really large and dont match up with the rest of the body. Either wanna shrink down the head, or make the body larger, or avoid drawing the entire body all the time. Also seems like the head tilts in a few directions, most prominently is when I see the 3/4 view, it's always that same tilt angle. Try some different ones, and make sure that his eyes are proportional too when the head tilts. Do the mirror flip thing--look at some of the pages in front of a mirror or flip em horizontally on the computer. Also, something to consider in the future is that if you plan to scan in your drawings, make sure the original perforation of the drawing paper isn't showing on top. Also, I tried doing eight pages in one week. You may wanna take it down a notch in the future, and take a break after today ^_^'

*throws everything on the table* You win, Kura. You win.

The thing that really got me was that even though I missed probably 80% of the references, it was still hilarious. Thank you for making me laugh out loud during work.

Coatl: As far as I can tell, your main issue was just time management. You had an interesting storyline, but it was so unfinished that it took away all of the interest that you might have had in a more finished comic. Just keep working and maybe do something shorter next time! Quality over quantity. Also, Cue's body in the second to last panel of the first page makes me want to cry.

GOOD

ROCK IT GOOD FOR ME YOU TWO

GIVE EM' HELL, SONNY!

Slaw vs AG.  FINALLY