Meridia Oricon vs. Dao

Meridia Oricon vs. Dao

293 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7

Crit level: No preference

354 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8Page 9Page 10Page 11Page 12

Crit level: No preference

Critiques & Comments
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Iced Tea
# 12   Posted: Feb 13 2013, 10:41 PM
Thank you TDK for the battle, and thank you everyone for the feedback! I've lots of learning to do still and your advice will definitely help me!

Approval Committee
# 11   Posted: Feb 12 2013, 09:59 PM
TDK- I...I'm not gonna lie I'm having a tough time looking where to start. The artist notes to excuse what appears to be technical mistakes (which could've been easily redrawn instead of telling the reader to use their imagination) was weird. Also, the xcom comment at the end totally threw me out of what was otherwise turning out to be a alright  wrap to events. I'm all about breaking the fourth wall in a comic when it calls for it, but your notes just made it very apparent your side of the battle was unfinished.

FAIFACE- I know there were some quality critiques and lots of work to be done in improvement, but in all honesty I found I rather enjoying your side of the battle. Sure, technical aspects were rough, but for me it really didn't detract from the story at hand. It was simple, gave a nice portrayal of your fighters connection to the sword and featured your opponent well. At the end of the those are the things I look for and enjoy in a battle- so good on ya!

Approval Committee
# 10   Posted: Feb 11 2013, 01:25 PM
tdk- these stark b/w comics you do alwasy feel very empty to me. maybe it's the total lack of bgs on some pages. even the ones you did draw feel sparse. I'm gonna say it again- tones/greys OR more black would really help. a lot of the people you're drawing are very samey looking as well.

faiface- I think your tones could be darker. in some places you can barely notice there's a tone at all. there's some perspective issues with the street/sidewalks you've drawn. there's also some anatomy issues to work on, the big ones I spotted were heads (profile shots in particular) and hands. nice first battle though.

Web Dev
# 9   Posted: Feb 11 2013, 06:39 AM
tdk: It looks like you may have run out of time to fix a few little details in your comic, but I got the general story. I enjoyed it, but there were a few moments where I had a lot of trouble figuring out what was going on. Also, your handwriting made it hard to read some of the dialogue. Overall, it felt a little slow and jerky. What I do really like, though, is the attention you paid to some of your backgrounds. I hope to see more of those in future comics! :)

Fai: I like how you displayed both characters' powers very prominently in your comic. I like the feel for them I got from your writing. I also enjoy your style, even though it's inconsistent in this particular comic. My major point of advice would be to work on your poses and angles on characters, because they look quite stiff most of the time they're in motion. Also, on the page where the truck is about to hit Dao, you could have added some speed lines or something to make the reader feel more like the truck was coming towards Dao instead of just sitting in the background. I got the point, but I didn't get the emotional impact you could have given me. So yeah! There's my two cents, and I can't wait to see more from you! PS--I loved page 2. Funny and a good place setting.

# 8   Posted: Feb 8 2013, 05:23 PM
Tdk: Your story-writing and dialogue need a lot of work and I want to help you with that.  If you're interested, contact me through a PM or the chatroom or whatever.

# 7   Posted: Feb 6 2013, 09:22 PM
Catseyz: I'm really enjoying both sides of this tale-hence the perhaps over-lavish ratings... though I'm not quite certain where the continuity starts. Does it start with Meridia or Dao's side?

VOID works in that that each continuity/comic is separate from one another (unless otherwise stated by the artists) . Each comic is unique to the other and people vote on who came up with the stronger comic. It rarely is a collaborative effort but there are times when it is :)

I'll offer real feedback on this battle tomorrow guys!

      Edited Feb 6 2013,  09:23 PM by Charlie

# 6   Posted: Feb 6 2013, 09:19 PM
I'm really enjoying both sides of this tale- hence the perhaps over-lavish ratings. Anyway good show! I'm having a bit of trouble sorting out the continuity here  however- am I right in thinking that the tale starts out with Fai's part, then flows over to Meridia's?

      Edited Feb 6 2013,  09:22 PM by Catseyz

# 5   Posted: Feb 6 2013, 01:31 PM
Gonna start this off with a congratulations  to you both, y'all have done well.

TDK: Your anatomy still needs a little work, but your definitely improving! Gotta say, be careful with how your handling, well, hands, cause every now and then you let a fist or two get a little sloppy, like pg 3 panel 3. You've got some nice backgrounds, but sadly, they sort of trail off after the first couple pages. Really make sure you give something solid to ground the characters at least once a page. And while the crowd makes good use of some otherwise empty space, panel 1 of page 5 could have used some more detail. Try to add something to indicate the texture of the ground, like small lines every now and then to indicate there's something there for them to stand on. I really like the pacing you've got through this, nice and quick, easy to follow, really good for action scenes. I really dig the dynamic shot in panel 5 of page 2, but it might have done you better to have the magic start then, instead of delaying it to the next panel. Otherwise, it kind of looks like he just pauses for a second or two before using the spell, which takes a bit of the tension away.

Fai: A wonderful first battle! I really love the dialogue, (and its not just because my characters showed up I swear). For the first half of this, you've got some really nice backgrounds. I really like how you used a lighter tones marker to do the background details for the walls and such, a very nice touch. However, your backgrounds do become a little lackluster in comparison for the second half. Your buildings are a little bare, so try to put a little more into them. Some small details, like occasional brickwork or such, can really work to make your backgrounds seem more real. Now, some of your reaction shots could use a little work. On page 6 for instance, when Meridia yanks on Dao, it doesn't looks like she's doing much. He seems almost like he's an immovable wall.Try to loosen up his posture a bit, and maybe look at some action movies where they do similar scenes for reference. You do pretty well at mixing up your angles, so kudos to you on that front, its not easy to keep that in mind, however, some shots could use some work. On page 8, between panels 1 and 2, you have gone and broken the 180 rule. You've gotta be very careful when you try to flip the angle your viewing the character from, cause it can break the flow, because to the reader's eyes, she just totally flipped directions, and it doesn't really help that in neither panel, there are no backgrounds to help establish direction. As far as panel 2 is concerned, it feels a little anticlimactic. This is the first shot you've got Meridia casting magic in, and it doesn't really lend much to the scene. We see her jump, but there's no real indicator in the panel as to where, or how far, so the magic of long jump is lost.

All in all, this was a really good turn out you two! I'm excited to see more of both characters, and look forward to future battles from the both of you!

Community Manager
# 4   Posted: Feb 6 2013, 08:59 AM
Quick Crit.  May go into more depth later.
TDK, I am impressed.  Your practice has paid off as your poses and your anatomy seem to be pretty solid and it's very noticeable.  You'll need to work on being more dynamic and perspective.

Faiface, great first comic, there's a lot of effort here.  Your backgrounds need more detail but not from your lack of trying.  Next time though, maybe cut down on page count so you can work on a shorter tighter entries.  Experiment more with depth and shading.  Line width and variation would surely help you make your art pop and  with your speed lines and such, work on making more even, tighter and quicker strokes.  They should be going in the same direction.

Ten Dead Kings
# 3   Posted: Feb 5 2013, 10:41 PM
Uploaded. Couldn't finish it up as much as I wanted. D:

Iced Tea
# 2   Posted: Feb 5 2013, 08:16 PM
I've uploaded my comic. :U Can't wait to see TDK's!

# 1   Posted: Jan 15 2013, 04:21 AM
Aw yeah! Looking forward to this!

New character battle YES

Comic Details -

Drawing Time: 3 weeks
Ended: Feb 12th, 2013
Votes Cast: 19
Page Views: 689
Winner: Iced Tea

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